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THE COLLECTED J.O.A.P. HAS ARRIVED! |
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CONSUMER REPORTS
Mountain Dew: The Return Of The Blue Poo
Waste the rainbow!
------ posted 7.2.2009 by the pooping scholar (11)
FUN WITH FECES
ASSCAR!
PoopReport's about to hit the road!
------ posted 7.1.2009 by EngineerChris (12)
POOP AT THE OFFICE
The Stall That Dumped Back
A second-hand story about second-hand poop.
------ posted 6.30.2009 by Breath of Ass (26)
STORIES ABOUT POOP
Pho Whom The Bell Tolls
From soup to butts.
------ posted 6.29.2009 by plop cop (79)
STORIES ABOUT POOP
When Mom Was There For Me
A textbook example of what a good parent should do.
------ posted 6.26.2009 by JP (11)
Stories about poop. Essays about poop. Consumer reports about poop. Comics about poop. It's all here on PoopReport.com. But if that's not enough, then get PoopNews -- delivering quasi-monthly news and email-exclusive poop content right to your inbox. Subscribe today!
A novel idea has brought much-needed relief for Burundi refugees returning to their home province of Rutana after years of exile in Tanzania.
Over the past eighteen months, 870 pit latrines -- that is, basic but functional and sanitary outdoor toilets -- have been erected in this remote part of Africa. It's all thanks to the 
charity CORD, which came up with the idea of "twinning" toilets in the affluent west with those being built in Burundi.
Here's how it works: for around $100 donation to the charity, you can have your own personal porcelain throne twinned with a specific outhouse deep in the bush. Its exact location can be even tracked down with Google Maps, so you can keep up with their progress and use.
One of the first toilet twinners, the Bishop of Coventry, invited the press around to his house to inspect his crapper and a photo of its twin in Rutana. "It's a bog standard idea with a great message," he said, "Forty percent of the world's population don't have access to a toilet and it's hard to imagine what that's like."
It sounds a good idea. There must be many people now who have a blown-up photo of a remote African dunny proudly hung on the wall above their commodes.
Last night I decided to make Trader Joe's chile verde stew and rice for dinner. It was excellent -- I ate the whole thing. (Serves three.) This morning I could tell that something was percolating, but I needed to get to the office early to participate on a conference call, so my morning bowel movement (MBM) was not given the due diligence that it deserved: MBM did not occur before I left the house.
As I began to cross the bridge, the percolation accelerated, and I knew I was dealing with a short planning horizon for project delivery. By the time I had reached the Oakland side, percolation was complete, and MBM was positioned at the edge of what I like to call "the drop zone": that last trap door before release. Truly a horrifying situation when one has approximately ten minutes of driving left to go.
It was a sprint to the finish line. Had this been the forty-yard dash, I would have clocked a sub 4.4 time. Instead of parking in the lot, I left my car on the street so that I could hop out and get to the restroom.
I made it to the office and let 'er fly: a type-six monster at 14.5 Courics, released with the force of a high-pressure water cannon used to disperse crowds in riot situations. I was actually early for the call, and as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the day will be a piece of cake compared to birthing that monster.
-- posted 6.29.2009 by The Crap Duster
Archived Poops Of The Week
THIS DAY IN POOPREPORT HISTORY:
July 3 |
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STORIES ABOUT POOP
Every Chamber In The Capital
In one way, this is the full experience of government, isn't it?
------ posted 7.3.2008 by Poodemonium (26)
BMNEWSWIRE
Giving up the right to poop on the clock
------ posted 7.3.2008 by Thunderbox (1236)
POOPING HEALTH
losing the power to poop
Dr. Kegel to the rescue!
------ posted 7.3.2008 by Motherload (1068)
STORIES ABOUT POOP
Squatting Ain't Easy
Not anymore, anyway.
------ posted 7.3.2007 by doniker (1557)
POOPING HEALTH
does vodka cure farts?
My god: has this reader just figured out the secret?
------ posted 7.3.2007 by Motherload (1068)
ETERNAL DEBATES
Eternal Debates: Is Toilet Paper Enough?
Is good old TP still the best?
------ posted 7.3.2006 by AssBlaster2000 (1116)
BMNEWSWIRE
Wales concert organizers save the day
------ posted 7.3.2006 by daphne (4196)
ASK POOPREPORT
Ask PoopReport: Report-worthy?
What makes a good poop story?
------ posted 7.2.2003 by Mike (93)
INTELLECTUAL CRAP
Green Poop: The Implications Of Food Dye On Poop Color
A thorough scientific study, for the good of humanity.
------ posted 7.2.2002 by Dave J (335)
BMNEWSWIRE
SF makes public excretion a crime
------ posted 7.3.2002 by Dave (11917)
BMNEWSWIRE
Profile of a pooper scooper
------ posted 7.3.2002 by Dave (11917)
BMNEWSWIRE
Boondocking at Wal-Mart
------ posted 7.3.2002 by Dakota (858)
BMNEWSWIRE
Six Inches is Deep Enough
------ posted 7.3.2002 by Dakota (858)
