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INDIAN TOILET FUNDRAISER

Sixty Indian families can look forward to their very first toilets. Thanks, PoopReport.


NEW CRAP

STORIES ABOUT POOP
The Angry Custodian
 An innocent oversight becomes a whole lot worse.
------ posted 5.9.2008 by Little Lord Far... (21)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
A Fart In A Storm
 It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly...
------ posted 5.8.2008 by snowpea (90)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
A Rest Stop Too Far
 A few miles per hour matter.
------ posted 5.7.2008 by Little Lord Far... (21)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
Transcendence In The Bushes
 Finding enlightenment in the most unlikely place.
------ posted 5.6.2008 by flak (10)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
Fearing The Pooper
 Doniker's anxiety manifests in his butt.
------ posted 5.5.2008 by doniker (1487)


POOP OF THE WEEK
THIS DAY IN POOPREPORT HISTORY
POOPREPORT JOB BOARD



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The 2 Girls 1 Cup defense: a scat producer goes on trial

------ posted 05.08.2008 by Dave
"You talk about art? What is art? Art is what artists do. If it shocks you, it's art. One of the things art should do is make you think and question things."

While the US government seems content (so far) to allow its citizens to read funny poop stories, it has drawn the line at allowing them watch people poop on each other. Ira Isaacs, a fifty-seven-year-old Los Angeles director, will go on trial next month on a six-count federal obscenity indictment for making films like Laurie's Toilet Show, Mako's First Time Scat, Gang Bang Horse (Pony Sex Game), and Hollywood Scat Amateurs No. 7.

(You don't want to Google those titles.)

But Isaacs isn't pursuing common-sense defenses like First Amendment arguments or the fact that consenting adults should be able to watch other consenting adults poop on whoever and whatever they please. Instead, he's arguing that his work is art, not porn, and thus not subject to decency laws.

"I don't want to say this is porn," Isaacs told Radar Magazine, "I don't think the people watch my stuff to watch sex. They can watch porn for that."

Isaacs elaborates in an interview with Adult Video News (link NSFW): "People don't buy my videos because they want to watch people having sex. Regular porn does that. I need to convince people that mine is serious art."

So he's going to take the stand and argue that Debbie Does Imodium is serious artistic expression. And 2 Girls 1 Cup, as Reverse Cowgirl points out, is going to bolster his case -- because (and our own poll supports this point), the people watching it are not looking to get their rocks off. "People are trying to shock themselves, because in today's world, everything is shock on TV. {...} People need a lot to be shocked these days." People watching 2 Girls 1 Cup, he says, aren't seeking sexual gratification. So the gratification they get can only be artistic.

Isaacs' product is packaged like porn, is marketed like porn, and is consumed like porn. Doesn't that make it porn? Six years ago, I asked the same question to Jed Ela, the artist behind ShitBegone toilet paper. "Your {declared artistic} intentions aside," I asked, "you are making and selling a product. You market something that appeals to a niche. To me, that sounds like capitalism. If you consider ShitBegone art, how do you differentiate it from what Proctor and Gamble does?"

Ela's answer convinced me that ShitBegone is art. So because I'm also convinced that Merde d'Artista is art and Fountain is art and Cloaca is art, does that mean that I have to believe Hollywood Scat Amateurs Numbers 1-6 are art as well? I sure hope not. Because that kind of art is gross.

9 comments | read more


POOP OF THE WEEK

I'm now thirty-one years old, and my newborn son pooped himself for the first time today. This reminded me of a long-since passed memory of a certain grey blanket, and of unfortunate timing.

I was four years old at the time, not yet in school, and I had been holding in my shit for a commercial because I was watching my favorite show. I suddenly felt my bowels rumble and I immediately shot up out of my chair because I knew this was it -- it was coming out!

My bathroom was two floors above, and I knew I wouldn't make it in time. I quickly looked around for something, anything, to poop into. And there I saw it: a fuzzy grey blanket in the corner of the room. I darted for it and lifted up my bathrobe and BOOM -- I let a massive log right out into the blanket.

I stood there staring at it for a few moments. I realized it wasn't even slightly stinky, so I just took the blanket and wrapped it up and threw it in the basement closet.

A week passed. I was in my basement. I realized there was a horribly rancid smell. Just as I remembered what I had done, my mother came down and her face was something that no man had seen before.

I think you can put the rest of it together on your own. And yes, I was grounded for four weeks.

-- posted 4.28.2007 by Shiz

Archived Poops Of The Week
THIS DAY IN POOPREPORT HISTORY:
May 9

STORIES ABOUT POOP
OB/GY Ennnnnnhhhh
 What goes in must come out... and then some.
------ posted 5.9.2007 by GottaGoGirl (2616)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
Fish In Iowa
 Remember your geography when you order your dinner.
------ posted 5.9.2006 by Grogan (98)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
I Buried My Socks In Utah
 ------ posted 5.8.2005 by Meyer Buttreeks (12)

BMNEWSWIRE
The Poo font
 ------ posted 5.9.2005 by Dave (11451)

STORIES ABOUT POOP
#2 For The Road
 ------ posted 5.8.2003 by Shawn St. James (13)

BMNEWSWIRE
The power of panda poop
 ------ posted 5.9.2003 by Dave (11451)

BMNEWSWIRE
Freaky Japanese sexy pooping statues
 ------ posted 5.9.2003 by Dave (11451)

BMNEWSWIRE
The iLoo -- the first internet-enabled public bathroom
 ------ posted 5.9.2003 by Dave (11451)

POOP AT THE OFFICE
The Dilemma Of The Singapore Squatter
 Choosing between dishonor and discomfort.
------ posted 5.8.2002 by Troy (50)

FUN WITH FECES
Using Poop to Make Someone Cry
 People are assholes. People are mean. I'm not happy that most of society enjoys hurting others, but we do. Here are some techinques.
------ posted 5.8.2001 by Dave (11451)



THE POOPREPORT JOB BOARD

Are you an employer? Hire a PoopReporter! We're capable, we're dedicated, and we've got a great sense of humor. If nothing else, we'll talk about your company bathroom on this site.

SHITS HAPPILY IN THE SHADOWS (NYC)
SHITS is an energetic, cracker-jack freelance writer and editor. She has a BA from a major, nationally-ranked university. She also has a background in government, which means that she is able to deal with all kinds of shit and shit flinging. She's a hard-working little shit, and is willing to work below the industry rate (read: cheap!) in order to garner more experience, and will provide prompt feedback.

FECAL FOLLIES (TENNESSEE)
Fecal Follies is a freelance fiber artist. She's debating whether or not to list some experimental key rings that unexpectedly resembled curling turds. She delights in producing custom orders through Etsy's Alchemy process, and will be more than happy to crochet you that shades-of-brown afghan that you've always wanted to have in your living room. Mention this site when ordering and you'll receive a free gift. (No, not THAT -- she doesn't want the Postal Poop Inspectors at her door!)

POOPMATIC (SOUTH CAROLINA)
Poopmatic is a freelance illustrator, specializing in cartoons, caricatures, and humorous illustrations. He's also been adding his talent to this very site! When asked about freelance work, Poopmatic exclaimed, "Hire me now before the trees get me!" His rates are reasonable and so is his talent. You can see all his crap at mikepaglia.com. Mention this site and he'll do a special drawing just for you!

PILL POOPER (CENTRAL/SOUTHERN NEW JERSEY)
Specializing in high-end home and mobile audio/video systems, Pill Pooper has over nine years of in-the-field experience with all types of low-voltage systems -- including security, home audio, whole house audio, intercoms and pretty much anything electronic. He does residential as well as commercial installations. Pill Pooper is fully insured and offers sales, service, and troubleshooting. Free estimates! (And when he's on site, he promises to treat your toilet with the utmost respect.)

ASS PHLEGM (WOONSOCKET, RI)
If you've bought a PoopReport T-shirt, you've already helped support Ass Phlegm in his time of need. If not, you should buy a shirt-- or, better yet, give Ass Phlegm a job. A graphic designer experienced with all the major programs, plus all sorts of old-fashioned artforms, Ass Phlegm's got 15 years experience bringing ideas from concept to final product. He designed the lovely PoopReport t-shirts, but that's not paying the bills... so any work in Rhode Island or anywhere else in the world would be enthusiastically embraced.

DAPHNE (TACOMA)
I work with animals, and I mean real animals. Big dogs and cats, sure. And I have picked up after hawks, owls, all songbirds, pigeons, cats, dogs, a bobcat once, groundhogs, rats, raccoons, opossums, and ducks. I can handle protection dogs as well. You name it -- if it poops, I've cleaned up after it. And I have done wildlife rehab, and I am looking to get a grooming license soon. Anyone in the Tacoma area, email me. I work,and animals really like me, and I know poop.

CRAPOLA (NYC)
Crapola is a personal trainer and fitness instructor certified by the American College of Sports Medicine and the American Council on Exercise. She's certified in Pilates and aquatics too. And, prenatal, postnatal, and senior exercise. She never has and never will work in a gym. She comes to you, or you come to her, or maybe you meet her in the park for a great outdoor workout.

Her rates are reasonable, by NYC standards. That means cheaper than what Madonna pays, but more expensive than a session at your neighborhood meat market. She's internationally recognized in the fitness industry, but doesn't feel like bragging to fellow PoopReporters :-) Shameful & shameless OK.



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