Ask Poopreport: Will Licking My Butt Make My Dog Sick?

// // 40 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
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Is it OK to let my dog lick my anus after defecating? You wouldn't believe the money I save on toilet paper. I'm asking in regards to my dog's health.

40 Comments on "Ask Poopreport: Will Licking My Butt Make My Dog Sick?"

Bilgepump's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Well, let's see...would you be concerned for your own health if you licked your dog's ass? You're a fucking moron and shouldn't have ANY pets.

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"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

"One of the founding members of the Front Page Hyena Pack, and runs as its alpha male when the urge strikes him, which is often." Daphne (one perceptive chick)

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Are you for serious? Does the DB after Tony stand for DoucheBag? Someone should report you to the ASPCA (I think that's what it is) for that behavior. I can't wait to see what Daphne has to say about this.
On another note, Tony, you're a really sick fuck, and I can't imagine what ever gave you the idea to let your dog do this in the first place.

The Original Grasshopper

CC also known as Coach Crap's picture
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You can't be serious.I hope Daphne sicks her entire zoo on you.

McPoop's picture
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Tony, I hope your dog has his vengeance on you some day by biting you asshole after he finds something that he thinks is tasty.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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What a great idea Tony, not yours but Bilge's idea of your licking your dogs asshole. I personally think you should go to your local SPCA and lick the assholes of all the animals clean. They would probably be more adoptable if they had well groomed hiney holes.


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Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Deja Poo's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorj 1000+ points
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Have you tried licking your own asshole, Tony? I'm sure that you can do it if you give it a try. Just bend over and stick your tongue out as far as possible. And if you can do that, not only will save all of that money on dog food, but you'll never have to worry about asswipe ever again.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Yo quiero Taco Bell.

sexysely's picture
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omg wtf!

ChrisM's picture
l 100+ points
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Splash some gravy on your balls so the dog will bit them off next time.

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The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

The ChrisM virus is incompatible with your current operating system. Your system will now be rebooted into DOS and return to the virus.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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Is this what Donny Osmond had on his mind when he sang "Puppy Love"? C'mon everyone, what are you...politically correct or something? Yo- TonyDB- are you sure your not Ivan Brunetti? And before anyone else gives me shit, look Brunetti up...his work is fucking insane...
Before I go, if this is true, you'll be busted soon, but this question seems like a trick to incite a riot. REMEMBER THE CHICAGO 8..(10 if you count Len Weinglass & Bill Kunstler)...Nice try Tony! Does the dog suck your cock too?

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

slottedsPOOn's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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If taken in the "something you say to just mess with people" way its funny. If your serious, you are sick. Karma will soon leave a sour taste in your own mouth. But since I can't really believe that this is true, considering that even a dog wouldn't find the warm moist flavorings of human dingle berries delightful, I will just take it as a joke. Not to mention it would probably take the dog whisperer to train a dog to go all the way on this one. In that light, the mental image is hillarious. Is there a technique I wonder? Bend and spread? Do you take the dog in the bathroom with you or do you waddle out with your pants around your ankles and give out a special poo call? "Poooouieee!" After all is said and done do you guys cuddle, or just skip the lip service, smoke a cig and part ways?...again if your for real, suck it, if its a joke, maybe you could find a support group.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Dude, wtf? This...you don't...I don't know. That's sick, even if he were joking, which i have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't. Even having the idea to joke about is sick.

The Original Grasshopper

Turdy Two Poos's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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OMG you are a real asshole Tony. Are you
really this fuck'n stupid?
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"Nothing like an explosive fart to startle one out of complacency..."

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"Nothing like an explosive fart to startle one out of complacency..."

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Dogs love to eat poo, so I think your dog's health isn't in danger

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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AC ... Your comment brings so many retorts to mind;

Fat kids love burgers and fries so they must be good for them!

Junkies really really like heroin so it must be okay!

Nymphomaniacs love to fuck so hopping in bed with everyone must be a good idea!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

oberons litter box's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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No, but it might upset your dog's understanding of his position in the pack. Continue at your peril.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Old mother Hubbard, went to her cupboard
To get her old dog a bone
When she bent over, running came rover
And gave her a bone of his own

Be careful Tony

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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What I'd like to know is how this dumbass got the idea to let his dog lick his ass in the first place, and...why? Just...what was crossing this idiot's mind?

The Original Grasshopper

Frank Benway's picture
l 100+ points
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Alright, people. I understand you're upset, but let's slow down on the vigilante talk. This guy may be a deviant and a whackazoid, but really, I don't think the dog is in any kind of danger. Have you guys ever owned an outside dog in a rural environment ? If you did, you'd know that they eat shit all the time on their own free will. Cow, cat, human, whatever kind of shit you got, they LOVE it. They eat all sorts of putrid and decaying things without missing a beat. It seems the only thing that makes them sick is table leftovers. So I say let the freak keep freaking in the privacy of his bathroom. The dog wouldn't participate if he didn't dig it.

Frank Benway's picture
l 100+ points
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Btw, as a youngster in the sticks I had a rat terrier named T-Boy who wasn't happy unless he got a fresh, steaming cow patty every day. I had to oblige him by taking him to the barnyard for his forbidden treat, but then he'd try to lick me to show his appreciation, and that's where I draw the line.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Sorry Frank, we appreciate your concern but those of us with no life need the feeling of "togetherness" we get by piling en masse on the occasional freakazoid.

Tony probably doesn't even indulge in the perversion he mentions but is only baiting us to get our reaction. Thank you Tony, you sick bastard! You make me feel needed!


_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Nicknotsomeoneyouknow/visitorguy's picture
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Jeez, guys. Frank's right. Our dogs eat cat shit and garbage. They're even smart enough to have figured out that when our car isn't parked out front, the kitty crunchy cafe is open for breakfast. Just a week ago I realized that the reason there's 5 tons of doggy-doo in the back yard and not one dropping of cat crap in the whole neighborhood is that EVERY DOG EATS CAT SHIT IF IT SEES IT. If this guy is comfortable with a dog licking his bare anus, I see no reason why he should be persecuted by other poo-fans. If you're into the whole "green" movement, well, this is about as environmentally friendly as it gets. I've heard that human excrement makes piss-poor fertilizer for crops, is poisonous to humans besides; but if dogs eat it willingly, and it gives them the protein and crude fat they crave and need (did you know cat crap is full of undigested protein?), owing to our western diets of prime rib, beans, fried chicken, and donuts... I ask, why not? We take the part out that dogs don't need, and leave the fiber that keeps THEIR poop going smoothly.

Give the guy a break, and let him save money on dog food. Waste not want not. Or rather, "waste, want not..."

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points
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Hi Nick ... Just because an animal does something it doesn't mean that what it does is okay or even a good idea. Cats will lap up antifreeze for its sweet taste and possibly die from having done so. The human species injects chemicals into their veins so they can have a good time.

Read what a vet. has to say on the subject.
There are many reasons to prevent this behavior besides the "yuck" factor. As you might have guessed, eating poop is not very good for your dog’s health. For one thing, when a dog eats poop it can pick up all kinds of parasites, and other potentially serious diseases that are carried by cats, dogs or any other animals that are roaming around.

Another health concern is the likelihood that your dog will end up eating cat litter. Chances are those tasty little feces in the litter box are coated with litter.

Some litters are considered to be safer for pets than others. Clumping clay litter, for example, expands by 15 times when wet and then forms a clump. It could potentially cause a serious intestinal blockage.
_______
Dirty old men need love too!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points
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Leandra, in response to your questions, let me surmise. I'm sure he probably didn't just wake up one day and say, "hey, why don't I let Fido lick the shit off my ass." I'm sure it was gradual. First licking boogers off his finger, later possibly letting Fido take care of those last drips after peeing. Dogs need training you know. As far as what was crossing his mind? I'm seeing a big "vacant" sign.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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How can there be a vacant sign on a mind that doesn't exist? Maybe some kind of drug use annihilated any form of common sense this dumbass may or may not have had at one point in his life.

The Original Grasshopper

flushette's picture
l 100+ points
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Keep in mind, dogs usually lick your face, too.


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Remember, even hot chicks poop and fart.

When you've got nowhere to go, and you feel it start to flow, diarrhea... diarrhea.

slottedsPOOn's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I can't seem to believe that I'm the only one curious of the technique used. Spread'em I geuss. Anyways, I also can't believe this guys hasn't left a comment himself. If it truely was a question that needed to be answered, and he reached out to the wisdom of poopreport, for sure he's checking back right? Chief, your right, it all was just a clever rouse.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Humans become desensitized (slightly) to our own feces just from the fact that they are inside us before coming out, and when they come out, they contact our anus and sometimes our butt cheeks (and fingers if the paper breaks). Normally we don't get diseases from such contact because our body is already armed against those particular bacteria. That also occurs with our children (babies) as we clean them up after bowel movements. A dog does, indeed, ingest feces from time to time, and is not discriminate in its choices, so licking a human anus is unlikely to kill it. The whole idea is still gross, though, and I can't imagine such a practice improving the health of dog or man. Toilet paper can be fairly inexpensive, and there are ways to limit how much we use (no huge wads of it, etc.). I'd say ditch that habit, and use t.p.

Squat-n-leaveit's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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Jeff Foxworthy needs to add one more redneck joke.

the thin brown line's picture
j 1000+ points
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@ Leandra....don't blame the drugs, JUST SAY YES!!!!

Somethin' mysterious made an exit from the gift shop.

LeandraCullen's picture
Comment Quality Moderatork 500+ points
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@ ttbl....excuse you???

The Original Grasshopper

slottedsPOOn's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Wet wipes; what went wrong?....chief you should look at your comment for this post. It deals directly to this matter. Just thought there was some irony is all.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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It is fine as long as you are grass feed, have pasture time, and are not fed preservatives, antibiotics or hormones. That means you must also monitor what your girl friend/wife eats if you know what I mean, and no birth control pills for her either. Otherwise, I suggest a moist towelet.

Mr Dip's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I kind of think this is a joke comment, but you never know. My idiot neighbor downstairs used to let his dog eat out of his cat's litter box. He thought it was funny. I went off on him, telling him it wasn't funny, his dog could get seriously sick from it and-since he was too broke to afford a vet bill- probably die. He made no effort to move the cat box to higher ground as I suggested so the dog couldn't get at it. I think he let the dog keep doing it so he wouldn't have to clean the cat box. Some people are too stupid and/or lazy to take care of animals properly.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I think this is a brilliant idea. It saves trees from being cut down!! They say you shouldn't feed dogs human food, but maybe it's ok if it has passed through.

Anonymous's picture
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dogs eat anythings poo so its fine

Anonymous's picture
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Got to say I am a very good dog owner, and I have a female puggle who, (and mind you, this sounds sick, but it was HER idea, not mine), LOVES my ass! She normally sleeps in her kennel, but when I have let her sleep with me, I have to fight her to keep her from trying to lick my ass. She literally tries pulling the covers back. I'm the cleanest person I know. I thought this was crazy until I read an article on why dogs do this. It's a leftover response to hiding their location from predators...mainly with females..they eat their puppies poo to hide the evidence from others. It make me feel better that my dog wasn't crazy..she just loved me and was trying to protect me.

Anonymous's picture
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If you let a dog it will lick your face mouth area feet etc., this is because their smell and taste receptors are hundreds of time more powerful than our own so this is probably the reason why, in this case, it licks this sad little mans ass.

As to whether this affects the dogs health I doubt it. However this ignorant fool is teaching this animal less than desirable behavior. I would suggest that he takes himself to the vets and ask if he can be put to sleep! Not the dog the dickhead that owns it!!

Anonymous's picture
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When I first saw this question I was shocked. This is a very sick in the head individual. Please go to a nut house and ask them to throw away the key to your padded room. Extremely sick nut.

Anonymous's picture
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I've heard of loving your animals but this is going to far. Kinda makes me wonder though, does he lick his dog's butt after it goes to the bathroom? Either way this is sick and disgusting and you are one depraved individual and I hope someone report's you and your dog is taken to a better home where it's not allowed or encouraged to lick anyone's bottom but its own.

Anonymous's picture
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@ Leandra. LOL UMAD?