4. A powerful, yet very quiet vaccum fan system to suck up all the smells.

5. For the Shameful Shitters, entrances far from the secretary's desk and far away from prying eyes... just to be kind to those who haven't evolved to a higher state of Shamelessness.

6. Double door entrances, so if you're at the sink picking your nose or popping your zits, you know someone is coming and have time to pretend you're washing your hands before they open the second door and see you.

7. Some sort of lightboard outside letting all know how many stalls are occupied. This would help one avoid walking in right after the rush hour (Poop Traffic Jam, Chili Cookoff) to be knocked out by the mixed stank of 2-12 brown pushers.

8. A ban on all toilets that flush by infared sensor OR at least a 'courtesy flush' backup handle. Nothing sucks worse than having to stand up and dribble whilst trying to 'fool' the damn crapper into flushing.

9. Heated seats.

Courtesy flush? PLEASE... You're taking a shit! It's supposed to smell!

(Dream on) A box of matches (good ones, wooden ones!) so that you can light one up and banish the stink. Pyromania and poop heaven rolled into one.

10. One user at a time. This shameful shitter is tired of having to sit there waiting for the bathroom to clear before making his escape, unnoticed.

this all sounds like my barber Joe's bathroom. He has music, a real clean toilet, magazines (boating news, people, yachting world etc.) It's all the way in the back, and there are even matches, air fresheners, different kinds of soap, and an exaust fan. The plastic seat is never cold, and it backs up to an alleyway (so the shameful could escape out the back window.) Oh, he's gay, that might explain it.

TCM, you're such a homophobe. Who cares if he's gay? Jerk.

stall doors that open out instead of in.

TCM, did you have a suggestion?

Or just another boring story?

We left off at 10.......

well, it was a simple story that explained of a so called "perfect public restroom". The fact that he's gay might have to do with the fact that he likes to decorate and keep his bathrooms fresh and clean. Another "perfect" bathroom is at a texaco station, if you can belive that. they have magazines, decor, nice fluffy tp, all the good stuff.

Cable TV either with a huge sceen by the sinks or if your office is posh then LCD sceens on the back off all stalls. Nothing would beat taking a dump and following a game, a movie, or just the stupid news. Immagine passing a giant log and having your favorite team with the championship! Oh the joy!

and who has the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to pay for all this?

With cable tv in there chances are you'll end up choking your chicken while taking a cool shit..

Laxative dispensers so you can have some assistance on those hard ones.

How about a poop claw. It sits in the toilet and if you feel too lazy (or tired from working) you can simply press the little red button and the claw will pull it out of your ass for you.

I think it would be nice to have some dumbfuck kid give a swirlie whenever you feel like it. Had a bad day at work? Some idiot kid in McDonald's stare blankly at your food because you asked for "no lettuce"? Cut off by some fucking yuppy who just HAD to get in the space in front of you to boost his own sorry ego? That's okay. Take it out on swirlie guy!

Bidets would be nice at work, then again, they would be just one more thing for people to mess up.

An automatic cleaning system would be nice. No pee on the floor or seats, ever, no derbris on the floor, and best of all, no shit splatter.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.