Ask PoopReport: Edible Deodorant

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m 1+ points - Newb
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Dear PoopReport,

There are stool and urine deodorizers for smelly cats, so there ought to be a way to make our own poo smell good. What should I be ingesting to have good-smelling excrement?

28 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: Edible Deodorant"

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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My guinea pig has the sweetest pee in the world, because I feed him tons and tons of parsley. It is high in vitamin C, and because of it, he smells like a subtle dill pickle.

I would check out some herb websites to see if things like parsley (supposed to be good for halitosis), cilantro, or basil could help your digestive tract.
For dogs, there are a multitude of things to put on their food to change the composition of their droppings. Many things that are OK for dogs are OK for us, and the FDA has to put "not intended for human consumption" on them for reasons I know not.
(Example tetracycline is not good for children, but adults with their adult teeth can use it as eye drops, commonly given to animals, instead of the human erythromycin.)

Maybe you should check out a dog catalog, and do some research for side effects of the active ingredients.

I do know that when my diet is almost vegan, I don't smell so much. Good luck. Holy cow, first post..............naw, can't say it.

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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Whenever I eat really heavy egg pasta, that's how my shit comes out smelling... like egg pasta. And that's a great smell.

how about this --

Wheras:
Anti-biotics kill the bacteria in your colon

and Wheras:
Bacteria in your colon are what causes poop to smell

Resolved:
The shits after heavy bouts of anti-biotics must not smell.

Discuss.

ThreePly's picture
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Disguising your poo's natural stink totally defeats its purpose. Its unfair to the turd itself. It belittles the turd, lowering that turd's self-esteam, and leaves the turd ashamed of itself.

Then think of your own pride. Don't you want your shit to stink? Don't you want to have a great sense of being a human? When I shit, I want to feel like a man. I want to feel like a part of the human race. And my friend, the human race shits. So when I leave a bathroom fogged in my stench, I feel a great sense of pride; proud to be a man who can leave an impression behind me, one that people may talk about for years.

When I think of poop stench, I look at it as its own form of penis envy. I can't brag to anyone about having a 12" penis, but I take great pride in knowing that I can stench-up a bathroom. And when it comes down to it, I'd rather have that reputation.

Poopstain McLain, I urge you to let steaming turds lie. When you accept your turds for who they really are, no matter how much they stink, they will accept you for who you are as well. Your turds will treat you right, and you can take great pride in your own man or womanhood.

PAB's picture
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Ben Franklin broached this very subject in his "A Letter to a Royal Academy" in 1781. He suggested humanity would be better served by investing in a way to make farts smell better than other more scientific endeavors. This is a funny letter from "Fart Proudly".

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points
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it's long, but here it goes:
(http://webits3.appstate.edu/apples/health/
Gas/fart_proudly.htm)

GENTLEMEN,

I have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. "Une figure quelconque donnee, on demande d

Kim's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I agree with ThreePly shit should stink. Your only smelling it for like 5 to 15mins then once you flush the stink slowly goes away.

The pants pooper's picture
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I like the way poop smells normaly its so refreshing

macros's picture
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of course poop smells accordingly to its origin -the food you eat- so watch out for black beans,i also noticed that salads make your crap smell .. well, not so bad.

beet makes your poo red
and spinach makes it green :)

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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I got this new shock treatment home kit.

It does wonders!

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

noo's picture
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eat lots of asparagus

fudgepump's picture
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Ty, thanks for posting Ben Franklin's letter. I wonder how it was received by the distinguished members of the Academy; I imagine with a chorus of harrumphs. Franklin's barely restrained delight at thumbing his nose at pompous Academics (of whom he was surely an equal) was a real treat to read. I loved his idea of offering guests a choice of fart scent, as you would offer a wine selection. The satisfaction that would come from being able to "delight the Smell of those about him" with perfumed farts, rather than clearing a room. And of course, equating the importance of the freedom to express one's "Scent-iments" with freedom of the press - pure genius.
I wonder; should the Manifesto have a codicil addressing the importance of freedom in farting? Ben makes a pretty strong case for it in his letter.
P.S. - Daphne; Ben seems to agree with you about the benefits of the Vegan approach, claiming that the vegetarian "if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed."

fudgepump's picture
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P.P.S. Daphne; you showed admirable restraint in forsaking any mention of the cosmic importance of the ordinal ranking of your post.

streak's picture
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ThreePly, if you are going to use the word self-esteem, please spell it correctly.

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
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go meatatarian. as soon as I did my crap started smelling like chicken.

daphne's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardSite AdminComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatore 6000+ points
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All werewolves should go meatatarian.

And, when is your crap going to start smelling like people? Get on the ball and eat some politicians!!!!

.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

jessica and nicole's picture
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Most often after eating a breathmint my poop smells quite wonderful.. and after eating asparagus it smells like well.. asparagus.. however i stop and ask my self why does my poop smell like tires when i eat bananas?
Please help me with my problem..

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
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good idea daphne! the world needs thinkers like you!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Last post rules!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
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who says its the last post?
hey wanna help me carry out daphne's plans? here in Transylvania it would be kinda hard to find American politicians...

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Damn it werewolf, you messed up my post. Oh well.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
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^_~
He He me funny! Hey, somebody had to mess it up. If it wasn't me it would be somebody else! I saved everyone else's time by messing it up!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Ha ha!!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

werewolf pooping on trees's picture
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I can tell that's sarcasm, just to let you know.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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I thought it was pretty funny.

Last post!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Magula's picture
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Dude, who cares if your poo smells good? It's not everyone is standing around sniffing it...if they are, maybe that's just a personal problem like people with really oily hair and no good shampoo. But anyway, they have deodorizers for toilets, that should be good enough. OO! Diapers must be scented for people who poop in their pants, eh? That must be great. Pads are scented. Everything is about as scented as it can get. Personal things in your body shouldn't be scented. This is all opionated, of course. But hey, that's what this for. I don't want any CRAP about it. Hehe.

Poop rocks my socks,
Magula!

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points
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What should I be ingesting to have good-smelling excrement?

Lots and lots of roses. You will have the sweetest smelling shit in the world.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

My Shit Don't Stink's picture
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I've always found my poop smelling like it could be a main ingredient in some gourmet dinner by eating Italian herbed Stewed Tomatoes! It smells as good coming out as it did going in! Also, since I eat lots of pasta when I eat stewed tomatoes, that does not add any digestive smells to the mix. I do usually have spiced ground beef and cheese in there to, which would start the digestive smells to a degree, but the bottom line is, when I eat my own pasta with stewed tomatoes and Italian herbs (especially the sweet basil and oregano) , You would think by the smell that it was a serving of the original food!

Russell's picture
l 100+ points
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Don't alter the smell of your crap, that's it's purpose.
_______
Russell the shitting queen

Russell the shitting queen