I prefer shitting on someone's face, it makes it a lot easier, and more enjoyable if I can watch my shit hit someone's face!

In the course of my research for this site, I've found hints in a variety of places that man was not meant to poop in the sitting position. The bowels, supposedly, are adapted to squatting, and when you poop while shitting, you are putting excess strain on your colon. So by spreading your legs and leaning forward, it does seem you are moving your body closer towards the squatting position, thus removing strain off your colon and making it easier to crap.

when a turd has gotta come out it will come out, I don't give a fuck if you are standing on your head, it will come out.

if you spread your cheeks apart before you sit on the toilet, you might find that you end up having to wipe less.

I used to spread em first, but I ended up slowly tearing a big rip into my O-ring. I bled when I pooped for months. I stopped doing that!

trashcanman, the same problem is started to happen to myself. Butt it is a price I might pay.

In concordance with Dave, it appears that people in Asia (who are the longest living human beings) have traditionally pooped in the squatting position. I suggest that you get as close to that as possible.

TC & Matt, you can do the in-between spread. It works minus the blood.

I like to camp. While in the woods - nature calls. I've found that pooping in the woods while squating usually does not require that much wipping. Maybe they should make toilets lower to the ground and you have to hold on to a tree (or something similar for inside) and take a crap.

well yes it is easier to shit bend over butt im an expert at shitting! next time u take a good lummpy corn blown shit .try clasping your hands on top your head while doing the bending. ohhhhhh what a feeling youll have its gentle and smooth sailing all the way out. ty keep a pooping till next time lol.

I discovered when I herniated a disk in my back and was unable to sit on the toilet, and basically hovered a bit above, that wipage was kept down to a minimum. The big problem with the "dropping bombs" was the spray factor.

Lean forward on the seat and spread your buns apart. It cuts down on the wiping. And don't forget to look back into the bowl to examine your masterpiece.

Thank you, Dave, for that insight about "when you poop while shitting"! Since reading that I never poop and shit on the same day anymore, and I do both so much better as a result!

I discovered a long time ago without anyone telling me that squatting is a more fitting shitting-position than sitting. Just be careful not to fall into a hazard I incurred!! In college I first learned to squat and thereby much mitigate messy wipings, cramps, and, often, constipation. I learned to do it even in public potty stalls. I took my pants and undies completely off. I was precarious at first, but I learned to stand on the potty rim and squat and dump my poop. It was my routine way of doing it, and it never caused any problem until I returned to my home town after college. There I went into my favorite department store back home, the place of some of my fondest memories from childhood, the place of fondest-remembered Christmas shopping where those "visions of sugarplums" really danced in my head bigtime back then. While in that store on returning from college, I had to poop, and natrally sought out a bathroom to use with my preferred squatting technique. I found one. It had two stalls, but one was out of service, the john completely removed at the time. I thought that would only increase my solitude in using the one functioning stall. How wrong was I! I got into that stall, locked the door, bared my lower half, got up on the rim, squatting to let go a healthy poo. As it was oozing out a loud commotion suddenly erupted as a group of loud-mouthed little girls burst into the room. One came vigorously shaking the stall door trying to open it, and announced loudly, "It's lokced". Another smartily replied, "Well, crawl under it!" Suddenly I was panicking about this troop of cussing brats, realizing they were about to crawl under and see me in an unconventional pooping act. It quickly occurred to me for the first time ever that my position, leaving no feet visibly hanging down, could indeed give someone the illusion that the locked stall was unoccupied. Still these kids' agressive invasiveness was over-the-top -- well, uh you know what I mean, literally under the bottom but still over-the-top in the sense I meant it. I had to do something about it and fast. I jumped down to the floor, trying in the process to aim the now mostly-out-of-my-ass turd into the bowl. It missed, landing on the floor. By then, two girls had their heads under the door. The one closest to where my turd fell cried out, "The bitch is trying to shit in my face!" The one farther in front of her from my perspective just let out a blood-curdling yell that must have been audible all over the store. Soon a bunch of people rushed into the bathroom to see what was happening. Seems both men and women were present for whatever that's worth, but in the terror my memory could have failed me. One of the girls had by now unlokced the stall door and flung it open. There I was standing for a crowd to see, bare from the waist down, my pants and panties hanging on a hook, my big turd on the floor, its remains squeezed messily between my butt cheeks, and a mob of little girls screaming hysterically about me. The first thing some employees did was to sieze my pants and pocketbook for a while! It was to inspect for suspicion of shoplifting, I was later begrudgingly told! Everybody yelling at once didn't seem to subside for the eternity after which my pants were finally brought back and I was told in a most hostile voice to put the back on. Once I did, I was escorted by a mob of employees to the store office, one woman feeling like she was about to pinch off my arm at the elbow. Getting there, I found the police had been called. I was sternly talked down to, give no chance to defend myself in any way or explain I had by no means tried to intentionally poop on anybody. Im sure when my turd fell, it couldn't have hit anybody's face, as I clearly remember the two girls crawling face-down at that time; anything that hit would have been in back. But one girl produced evidence of poop on her forehead, which she must have smeared there. It ended with me being told I was forever banned from that store and never to return, and that I was darned lucky no one was pressing charges. Thus some of my once-fondest childhood memories were forever sullied, all because I'd learned to do something a healthier way. Eventually I moved away from my home town. I feels better to be away, but some memories are spoiled forever!

one day me n my friends were on the computer and i had to poop so i went to the bathroom well at my house everyone likes to knock on the door while somone is in there so im sittin there and my friend dee pounded on the door scared me half to death well i jumped and my but hit the toilet seat and i just laughed well when i was done i wiped and left the room turned out i had gotten poo one the seat n everyone laughed i was so embarresed :( so bnow i hold my ankles so i dont jump n the leaning over helps me poop easier !!!!!!!!!

^2 thanks for that warning.

nonetheless, anyone who would crawl under a stall door deserves to get shitted on...or worse

yall are sick!!!

POOPING IT SO F*CKING GREAT! doesnt it just feel awesome when it comes out! well, i have a great story about shitting..i still laugh about it. hello i am herman and here is my story... I was at a friends b-day party and it was in the woods because we back packing around. newayz, as u know, in the woods they dont have any bathrooms and i had to take a f*cking dump! i mean really really badly. so i told my friends thatd id catch up with them i needed to take a pee.So i went back in the woods. not knowing that a group of old people from some bird watching club were wlaking on a trail about 5 feet from where i was bent over shitting. the trail was hiddin in the wood so i didnt notice it there and didnt figure people would be on it. even worse, i had my back facing that trail they were on. i finsihed , used a leaf, and pulled up my pants. turned around and saw a bunch of elderly bird watching freaks laughing at me, but, the joke was on me obviosly i was the freak.yikes!

one day one of my shits got stuck and i had to ring up my mate jenina to come and get it out she got tongs and eventually my giant poo came out but not before it ripped a hole in my o ring it was so sore but luckly my awsum mate jenina is a talented sewer so she stitched me back up. You hardly notice the big scar on my ass now. if i had known that spreading my legs would have made it easier for me to shit i probably wouldnt have ripped my o ring. But i would like to thank my mate jennina for saving my ass

kirsty loved i think you f*#ked up cos i cant see my name on here ok bye kirsty i luv you and yes shitting with your legs open is eaiser it is also betta on the enviroment because it is cleaner there for you use less paper GO THE GREENS

poop=yummy!

About the Asian way of shitting (squatting tiger, hidden turd): I work at a big international airport. Sometimes I walk into a toilet and there are actually footprints on the toilet-seat. So people even squat on the seat! Could be that they are Asian. Come to think of it, my sister is a stewardess and she told me once that on a flight from Bangladesh to Dubai people shit in a corner on the plane. Bangladesh is one of the poorest countries on the planet and some people there are not used to toilets.(poor souls!)and have no money for toiletpaper. Just thought i`d share this with you...

Look, it's shit. You sit or you squat. It comes out. The end.

when i affeciate , i believe i do rock on and or quff with a chuff of puff

no one had left a message here for years till i came aling - and now this crappy , crappy website will sleep in its own wallowing filth for another thousand years -----

What a lame bastard!

ive found that if you put some paper towels or toilet paper on the ground and poop on it then pick up the paper and toss the poop in the toile t you really dont have to wipe much and its not gross your touching the paper of course you can only use this in private bathrooms or at home if you try this please post it on this page

p.s turdlinger fucking asshole this websit is the best website inthe world its even better than porn and thats saying alot since I LOVE PORN ! YOUR THE BEST EVER DAVE

Pants pooper, I use the same method! i use about three to four layers of paper on the floor, and sometimes I get a mirror so I can see it coming out. Yum.

Come on Pants Pooper. Just use the damn toilet! Gross!

i think fat people eat alot b/c the like the way it feels when they crap.

If you ever don't have the energy to do something, take a dump!

help someone, iv recently become extremely worried about my pooping. It is approximately a week ans 2 days today i havent pooped. This is rather worrying me as this isnt normal and when i told my friends at college about it they all circled around me, and laughed. They were chanting 'look at the constipated c***' and many of them decided to prod me with sticks :(. Newayz im worrying about what happens when i actually will poop. I mean my friends said it would be huge, as i would imagine myself neway. They also said that it may rip my bumhole, now that scared me, n i wondered if there was any way of almost lubricating so when i do finally come to poop maybe it wont hurt so much or cause as much damage or ring sting some may say. Does any1 have any ideas of knowledge of any lubricant that i can get hold of plz? thanku ur gd friend ben dover

crapping on paper on the floor wouldnt be such a great idea if you sometimes piss out of your ass. it might be a good idea if you absolutely know its gonna be a solid poop though. i think i might hafta try that squatting while standing on the seat crap though...sounds interesting. ps. im thinking about doing a colon cleansing sometime soon. maybe ill take some pictures of the sludge that comes out of me and send it to your site...

this is to bend over hotmail.what u should do is go get an at home enima thing.it cleans out ur insides and breaks the crap down so it comes down easier and way less painful

LOL This is without a doubt the stupidest website on the planet. You can tell the type of people who visit it by the piss poor (pun intended) spelling and grammar. Get a life.

My poop comes out individually wraped in gold foil with my initials printed on them.

My daughter is 5 and attends all-day kindergarten. She has no problem peeing or pooping there. The reason is there is a special pre-school/kindergarten wing to the school and each class has a toilet within its own classroom area. There are 25 or less kids in each room so there's no problem. Also, the toilets are lower in size for the little ones and they are not as threatening (the toilets are shaped just like the ones we have at home and the seat is completely filled in with no cut-out in front). And it's not an institutional looking black seat like we find in some many large public bathrooms.

The problem, however, is that Emily is quite intimidated about pooping in large public bathrooms and we just can't seem to avoid them. At the ballpark, basketball field house, city auditorium and mall--my husband and I are out a lot--but Emily has a hard time getting up on the stool and pooping. She sits very tentatively over the front of the seat and is able to pee, but pooping is another matter. She just doesn't want to sit back far enough and spread her legs which I feel would aid her pooping.

My best friend from college, who has a daughter a couple of years older, has recommended that I don't let Emily get up on the seat alone--at least for the time being--but that I take her in the stall with me, that I move farther back on the toilet and then place her between my legs while holding her over the front of the seat. The idea, I'm told, is that Emily will gain confidence with me on the stool with her, holding her and encouraging her as we both use the toilet simultaneously.

My husband says the practice is absurd. Our babysitter says she was trained this way by both her mother and, occasionally, by her older sister. Emily turns 6 shortly and I need to know what the PoopReport.com community thinks. Leaving her on the toilet for ten minutes at the civic center just whining and complaining doesn't help.

The procedure sounds good to me, BUT I MYSELF AND/OR MY DAUGHTER WILL NEVER SIT DIRECTLY ON AN UNCOVERED PUBLIC TOILET SEAT. This is an excellent opportunity to teach your daughter how to put paper down and the other things that so many mothers are apparently not teaching their children anymore. I use public toilets a lot and the number of young girls (and older ones too) not covering the seats is increasing. Children do as parents do.....

I don't see anything wrong with a young child being able to go into a stall, check that the seat is down, and poop or pee. While I was there, just outside the stall to assist my daughter if necessary, she needed to learn to select the stall, latch the door, get up on the stool herself, know when she was done, wipe, and then flush. That's a lot to do for a 4 or 5 year old and while it could be helpful to have mom in there, a dependence is built that will not be available when the child starts school. Putting toilet paper over the toilet seat or putting down a paper seat protector is NOT going to build independence and confidence--two very important things that need to happen. The best leadership for the parent to offer is encouragement, "That toilet looks pretty dirty, let's have you try this one." My daughter was at first scared and would place her hands over the sides and sometimes front of the seat. Once she got confidence in balance and the fact that she could go unassisted, I got smiles and not whines every time she needed to go. The most I ever did was "model" for her what to do and I didn't micromanage a procedure that could confuse her. By the time she was five, she could use a toilet in even the busiest airport or mall without me in the stall. The approach of the Mia Marie's while well intentioned, just builds dependence. My daughter started wiping off or covering seats in certain places when she reached middle school, which I feel is part of a nature progression as she became more aware of the options and confident. If we can keep the mother out of the stall and let the children do their thing, we'll all be better off!

What was recommended for Mia Marie's daughter is stupid. While I realize that the child is NOT sitting directly on mom's lap, but rather in front of mom on the toilet, the idea is silly. Let me make sure I get this right: mom sits over the back of the toilet and places her daughter between her legs over the front of the toilet. First, I want my privacy when I'm using a public toilet. Second, having both mother and daughter doing #l or #2 into the bowl at the same time is gross. Third, especially when gong #2, I would be worried about the possible splashes coming up and hitting the little girl's pubic area. Fourth, in many of the stalls I use, two in the stall would produce a severly cramped situation and I'm not sure that this is best for the child. Besides, at school the child will be on his/her own and needs to gain confidence in a more REALISTIC way and under more REALISTIC conditions. I see nothing wrong with the child sitting directly on the seat at this age and anything else taught could make it too troublesome to take the initiative to find the stall, sit down, wipe, flush, and properly pull up their pants and then completing handwashing.. May be my Tara is an exception, but when she was four and even five she could go in on her own, get up on the stool and produce, wipe and wash her hands. At age 6 she started to get a bit careless, and on more than one occasion, allowed her space to be intruded upon because she didn't latch the stall door or check at first for toilet paper. Once at the airport, she came out with her shorts still partlially down because there was not toilet paper to wipe with and she didn't want to mess up her underwear. These might seem to be hard lessons learned, but the biggest test is that the problems should NOT be repeated!

During my teen years the pooping procedure I use is pooping with my pants above the knees and it's very hard to spread your legs when you have your pants up or half way up. But starting on Poop for Peace, I will start pooping with my pants and underwear down to my ankles so I can get my legs fresh air when I poop and spread my legs around, at times I might put my feet to my tip toe fashion if I feel stresed out or put my kness together when I poop. I do know that I will start and continue to poop with my pants around my ankles because my poop goes out better that way and I feel very refreshed and better. Then might stand up with my pants and underwear down to my ankles and wipe my butt and flush the toilet twice then I pull up my underwear, then my pants._______
-Sam aka bknightshadow