Let me just tell you one thing. It is Illigal to deny your employees bathroom rights. Just explain that the shit smell drives customers away. Tell them that if they have to shit, to go next door or something. I worked at a furniture store once, and it had no crapper. I just ran next door to the H&H carpet store and droped trou there.

Hey DP, I'm real opposed to trying to stop employees taking a dump. What I don't understand is that at a pizza place, local ordinances usually require that you have restrooms for the public. So if the employee restroom is so badly located, let the employees use the customer restroom. This is not an issue of shameful vs shameless shitting. It is a question of every employee having the right to piss or take a shit. If you're going to stop this you would be in your own words a "Poop Nazi" and at PoopReport Dave would be obliged to set up some kinda court to punish you for your crimes. Any volunteers for the jury out there? You don't need to be unbiased!

Maybe you can put Imodium A-D in the water cooler.

Realistically, you can't ask the employees stop using the shitter at work, unless they aren't actually shitting or pissing. I'm sure it would be illegal in the US, but who knows about Canada. Also, you can't tell them to go next door because you would definately piss off all of the nearby businesses. You could discourage it with the cheap-ass sandpaper toilet roll. I know it discourages me from using the crapper at work. Where I used to work, I would use the lobby restroom because it was cleaner and had a raspberry air freshener. I wouldn't forgo the air freshener though, it might help neutralize the shit stench.

You mentioned a fan. Is it an exhaust fan? Would it help to suck the shit smell out of the room? If there is a window in the bathroom, I suggest opening it and placing an additional fan in it to ventilate the place. It's sorta embarrassing to tell people not to shit as well as illegal and inhumane, so that is most likely out if the question. Perhaps if you find that many people are lingering in there too long you could make a rule that people can only use the bathroom for, say, 5 minutes. Or you could keep the TP under lock and key and make people ask for it, and this may deter some people although it will be cruel to the females who work there. Is this bathroom a multi-shitter? If more than one person can be in there at once perhaps you could take off the stall doors and this will also deter some shitters, while also unfortunately being cruel to women. Or . . .are your employees incredibly stupid? Go to a gag gift shop and see if they have one of those signs that says "If you took a shit please put it back" and the idiots will be so grossed out by that that they'll refuse to shit! OK, so I was just kidding on that last one but I hope the others can be of some help.

Hey AB2K, at our job sites, we often post signs like "No Illegal Dumping Allowed." I guess that would work here, although I agree with you that it's cruel and inhuman punishment to tell employees they can't take a shit. Most teens (and I guess they are mainly teens who work at Pizza Parlors) can't plan ahead 10 minutes, never mind plan when they're going to take a dump. I know this applies mainly to dudes, but I guess they're the ones causing the problem. I still don't know why these dudes can't use the customers' bathroom and I assume there is one?

Sometimes there is only one bathroom for the customers and the employees. *shudders* It was like that at the thrift store where I worked and that place was SO DISGUSTING!

There you go, Disco. Just let the customers use that bathroom and the employees will be too disgusted to go in.

I looked at the floor plans of most of the local pizza places in my head. we got, Papa John's, Dominos, Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, Pop's (Pop, AKA Rick, who I know personally, is a super cool Itiallian guy.), Augies, and some other places. Augies is the only one which is bigger than a closet. The rest all have crappers located either by the counter to the side, or in back. If the crapper is located like it is at the Papa Johns, it would be a huge obsticle, cause its right next to the soda machine. If it's like it is at pops, its way in the back, and there are 2 of em. The only way I could think to solve the out front crapper LEGALLY is to put a fartsucker in that goes on with the lights, or better yet always on.

Thanks for the suggestions so far people! The place only has the one employee bathroom, single shitter. We are a take out/delivery place, no eating in, so there are no public bathrooms. There are some other restaurants and stuff around, but I'm not going to send shitters there, like someone said that'll just piss off the neighbours.

I checked, and it is illegal for me to say ANYTHING about bathroom use as long as it's not being abused (ie - someone being in there for a ridiculously long time, or someone not using the bathroom "correctly"). I don't really want to say anything either, because it will embarass a lot of the staff, and it's skirting legal issues.

There is no window, and there is a fan, but the fan is usless. It makes an annoying whirring sound, but doesn't improve the smell at all. Taking all this into account, I think all I can do is make the bathroom unappealing while sanitary. Most of these kids are there for only 2 hours a day, so they'll learn to dump elsewhere, and for those of us who are there for longer, well, we'll just have to adjust or suffer.

So, here's what I've got so far. I'm getting rid of the Kleenex TP and bringing in the sandpaper. I'm removing the Sea Scented air freshener and replacing it with odour neutralizer. I'm getting rid of the scented soap and putting in iodine soap (ouch! THis is partially a food safety issue too). I'm getting my friend to look at the fan and see if he can improve it. Any more suggestions?

Iodine is posionus if eaten. Don't use it. Try using either a. Pumice soap, like used in pottery, ceramics, etc. which can be found at any artistic store. It is made out of pumice rock, which is used as an abrasive to clean ceramics, hence cleaning it off ones hands. b. Alcohol soap, which burns when you use it. Alcoholic soap is used mostly in the medical field. It is used because it disenfects bacteria more or less without a trace. It can be found at a medical supply store, or through a medical supply catolouge.

One easy and - for you - very cheap suggestion: replace the Sea Scented air freshener not with odor neutralizer but with Raspberry flavor freshener and Mr. B. Streak will soon be on his way. He likes that stuff so much he'll spend all day in there and that way none of your staff will even get a chance to go in there. Soon, they'll learn that they have to dump/piss before going to work or after. If you yourself need to go, Mr. Streak could take a short break for a bracing walk around the block to keep the circulation going.

Otherwise, yes, looking at the fan seems to be the best idea yet. Where is the fan pumping the expelled air to (sounds like it's pumping it into your store)? Is there a proper exhaust exit into the outside air? Is it blocked (I dunno, birds nests, whatever)? Maybe a talk with the owner/franchisee would alert them to the potential danger of customer loss and get them to make the necessary investment in improving or renewing the fan. Like TCM said, it at least needs to be in tandem with the lights, unless your guys poop in the dark.

It could be worse - at least you don't have customers sitting eating there. Could you somehow rethink the layout of the store to get waiting customers to stay away from that edge of the room (put chairs with some newspapers on a small table for waiting people at the front of the store by the window, have cashier work done at the other end of the counter...?)? Hope you get out of this stinky mess somehow!

I can't understand your motivation for being a poop nazi. Is your paycheck tied into making sure the customers never smell shit? What gives? While your putting in thos poop torture devices like sandpaper, why not remove the paper towels and add a hand dryer, Dr, Goebels?

Unlike Chip, i understand the motiavtion. If it smells like shit in the place, no one will want to buy pizza.

I think you definetly need to look at the exhaust fan. Also, how about the door? Make sure the door is closed at all times... and if smell still seeps out, you need to get a better door or improve the current door -- flaps of material around the edges will extend the door all the way to the floor and prevent smell from escaping.

HEY! YOU LEAVE THOSE POOR POOPERS ALONE. It their parlor and they'll poop if they want to.

Yeah, I'm against stopping folks taking a dump when they need to, but I kinda understand about it being a problem in a food establishment. I'm real surprised that the folks who give permits for this kinda place ever allowed it to be used for food service. It sounds as if that exhaust fan is not working and that should be fixed. It's real unfortunate that the employees have to be penalized.

Unfortunatly, I agree with almost every statement here. You can't be a poop Nazi. But there is ONE last hope... This is the worst option of all, but it is the one that will work the best. Employees have to clean the crapper anyway, so just be all nice, like "Oh, no problem, I'll get to it, go take a break." This way the employees will love you alot. But, your bathroom will get so dirty that no one will want to use it. So you have a win-win situation. The health department will of course argue with me, and you could get in trouble for running a cespool, but what you do is turn it around by blaming the position of the crapper and the lack of smell control for the problem.

remove some valves from the cistern, thus preventing the toilet from flushing. Quickly word will spread amongst employees that teh toilet is broken, and they will go elsewhere

Dave I think you are right I think that instead if not letting your employees use the bathroom you should make sure you have a proper fan a closed door an air freshener would work too

you fucker if you denied me the right to poop id just do it in my pants

Hey guys, i dump at work everyday and it sticks the hell outta me.. i don't care they made a bathroom for a reason.. so i desagree with the rule of no pooing.. pooing is important.. and everyone should have to right to do so. one suggestion, if u put up a air tight door and a working fan that lets air outside the store and keeping the door close at all time.. it should solve the problem.

Are you sure it's the bathroom that stinks and not the pizza?

Especially if you work at Dominoes.

I don't imagine that the crapper is being used 24 hours a day. I think that the stink is probably there for only a little bit. In a small pizza place (like it sounds) you can't possibly have that many people crapping in any amount of time. Are they just constantly going in and out? I don't think so. Just randomly make comments about the stink in the place - not putting blame on anyone. They will know who they are. They will probably start crapping at home if the get embarrased. It's not fair to the ladies though if you replace tp with sandpaper tp. Sorry, we have to wipe with #1 and #2. I would suggest getting a better fan like people have stated. And if it's that bad, get a new job. Nobody is forcing you to work in the stinky shithole you make it sound like.

Another thing, if they are taking up so much time in the bathroom perhaps they are doing more than shitting. A couple of times I've caught employees of restaurants and stores doing drugs in the bathroom. You may check on this.

Remove the door off the hinge. Problem solved. your most welcome..

Get a tighter seal on your door, keep it closed at all times, and get the fan looked at. Make sure the fan is actually blowing the air outside. A lot of jerks will install the fan but wont put in the plumbing necessary to take the air out. As a result, you just end up with all that moist, stinky air in the attic/crawlspace/whatever you have between your ceiling and roof. I learned that on Ask This Old House. Man, I love that show.

fart poopie is right, all the bathrooms in my highschool for guys had no stall doors, so this may be a solution, check with the health inspector. If you have to have a door then make the room uncomfortable, use the sand paper tissue, paint it some god awful color like pink & purple polka dots.
Use obnoxious cleaners like bleach, or pinesol (I hate the smell of that crap). Use very medicinal air fresheners, and soaps.
Make the lighting poor, no creature comforts, no reading material, and so on. Put some rules in place, require after you take a shit, you must use air freshner, or must clean the bowl.
If they don't they get fined in their pay, and provide incentives for others to tell on the ones who don't follow the rules. Assign bathroom duty to the ones who use the can the most. Ok those are my suggestions.

I wanted to know if it is illegal to allow a customer to use our restrooms, especially if they are disabled. I know it might smell bad but until someone forgot to flush it was not a problem. I had to turn away an old man today that obviously had to poop and I felt bad. He said to my manager what about the American Disability Act? She said she didnt care and to look elsewhere. I dont like people like that, they should be pooped on.

Number Two, where do you work? And, how old are you?

I ask because I know it's harder to be assertive when you're just starting out in the job market.

Call city hall or a lawyer and ask. I would. If it's illegal for your boss to do so, bring the information to her and stick up for the person the next time. It's OK to take initiative with bullies like your boss.

Oh, is your workplace a national chain or anything? You could always anonymously report her up the ladder.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I think there must be some code somewhere about whether an establishment has to have public restrooms or not.

Somewhere, I have a rant about being 8 months pregnant and not being allowed to use the bathroom. They told me to go 4 doors down to the pizza place (which is rude, since I wasn't a customer at the pizza place).

I wrote a letter to the corporate office, and never went back to that store. A friend told me the next time she went in there, by golly there was a "Restroom" sign with an arrow.

Hah. You should make some calls.

Just stain parts of the seat brown. No one will want to sit on it, but it will pass inspection.
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Sir SamDamnit!
The Emir of Crapistan

I dropped a load in the pizza store,
Then I went back and did some more.
I hated to be such a prick,
Knowing the smell made the customers sick,
But the boss closed our can, you see
Cuz OUR customers said it smelled like pee.

my boss says i cant shit at work i'll rise up righteous and shit all over him

I'm in my senior year of high school and, basically by my own choice, I don't drive yet. It's so expensive to buy and insure a car and that doesn't include gas and each semester having to buy a parking sticker to park on campus.

My walk to school is about 10 blocks. There's no problem in the morning because I make sure I pee before I leave home and that will hold me even on cold days until I get to school.

I wish I could say that about my other need. Often, although not every day I have a rather sudden urge to shit on my walk home. I've wondered if it's my heavy book bag on my back or just the physical activity a few hours after lunch but often I only have a few minutes to find a toilet and take my dump. I've tried sitting down for five or ten minutes right after school when the restrooms are almost always clear but I can't go. After a four or five block walk, I can't wait to sit down!

My first choice is usually a large coin-operated laundry. Somedays there's an elderly lady in there as the attendant and she's very nice when I walk by her and go to the rear end to use the facilities. Other days, there's a man on duty who constantly asks (he knows but he still asks)what I need and since I sometimes will wear my school jacket, he'll make a smart remark about not enough bathrooms at Abe Lincoln H.S. So that he won't get any more upset with me, sometimes I'll buy a can of pop from the machine. He might be mad at me because another customer didn't flush or on a couple of occasions when the stool overflowed because of a large amount of TP an earlier user tried to flush.

My only other alternatives are two bars (and I know I would stand out there) or a BP station that I stopped at last year once and my butt practically stuck to the seat. I was moving forward to wipe and it was like I was sitting on adhensive!

I have two good friends I've mentioned this to. Neither have been in this predicament. One take her shit before she leaves home in the morning and never (I find this hard to believe) has peed at school; the other does both on her lunch break. I guess I'm just the unlucky one.

Like Shandra, I too have to walk to school and back. My problem is not my bowels--I have a movement pretty much daily right after lunch--but it's finding a place to pee and to pee quickly when I'm walking home.

I usually drink a 20-ounce coke after lunch and although I've tried to sit down and go before leaving school, for the most part I'm not able to. I don't know what it is that triggers it (I live in the midwest where's there's four seasons)but six or seven blocks into my walk I start feeling the need to pee. Within five minutes it's a crisis situation.

If I go to the mall, it's four blocks out of my way each way, but I know a lot of my friends go down there to hang out after school. Sometimes in good weather I stop at a city park where there's a small unisex toilet. Sometimes it's open, sometimes it's locked because of vandalism, I guess. Three blocks away is the public library and I've used that one sometimes, but it's so close to downtown and there have been some really creepy people in there when I've stopped by to pee. There's one Conoco station but you have to stop in the office and get the key--for some reason I' embarrassed to ask for it since I'm not a customer.

Much of the time I just wait until I get home in about 20 minutes. I practically throw my bookbag down on the sofa and run for the bathroom hoping that my kid sister isn't showering or taking a shit. My PE teacher compliments those of us who walk to school and says that we are demonstrating a "active lifestyle." I just wish my bladder wasn't as active or that I had more options of bathrooms to use.

I can see your point, but you can't deny someone the right to relieve themselves.

One solution is, you and other employees could discuss ways to curtail the smell, so customers don't have to put up with it as much. Or you could make everyone shit outdoors, and risk getting fired.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

People should poop at home. It is bad enough that you have to put up with crap at work, you shouldn't have to smell it. Somoeone needs to get to the BOTTOM of this.

I own a 50-seat diner in a small town of 4,000 people. On Friday evenings, we get a lot of teenagers in here at about 8 p.m. or so before our 10 p.m. closing time. They are good customers, I know many of their parents, but I'm thinking of having to close off restroom access to them (my attorney said that can be accomplished by keeping the restrooms locked and making users come to the cashier's desk for a key)because they just don't pick up after themselves in the bathrooms. The three stalls in the womens room are especially abused--full stools and often pee, too, in the bowl and not flushed, toilet paper liner left on the seat--but the guys just won't lift the seat to piss and my Saturday morning breakfast crowd complains. People need to understand when access is denied it's for a reason. The message has to get out, especially among the teenagers. I doubt they could leave the bathrooms at school looking like they do the restrooms here. And what about their home toilets which will get much more use when they have to "hold it" at my place.

Although I officially graduated from "teenager" status in 1997, Diner Lady is sure naive when she says, "I doubt they could leave the bathrooms at school looking like the restrooms here. (INSERT LAUGH TRACK!)And what about their home toilets which will get much more use when they have to 'hold it' at my place." Yes, the bathrooms were so pristine at Jackson High, I couldn't wait to use them. And the almost daily trips I took home/and then back after school were to burn off more gas which I had to pay for. And on the few occasions when I had mid-day diarrhea I risked using the faculty bathroom because I wanted to preview what would be available to me if I were to join the faculty. And the police were just hanging out in the convenience store parking lot last weekend when I wheeled in for some laundry detergent. The girl, about l5, and her boyfriend were being given honor roll certificates rather than citations for, if I heard correctly, "loitering and public defecation". Diner Lady, you're preparing too much food for "eating"; any "food for thought"?

Diner Lady - of course I'm sympathetic to your problem, but isn't that just an occupational hazard of owning an establishment that has a public toilet. The kids are good customers you said, so why not just do to things. First, put up some polite notices, maybe with a bit of humour, asking users to leave them as the found them - think of the cleaner! Secondly, get them cleaned before you open on Saturday!

A PS to Shandra above - it's the walking! If I think I might need to shit but have no urge - the walk usually does it! It gets things moving bit, and there's the effect of gravity. Sitting on the toilet for ten minutes beforehand is not good! Clench your bum and try to keep it in till you get home - that will develop your sphincter muscles. Whilst working in London recently, I decided to walk from the hotel to work - about 45 munutes. I had not even the slightest suspicion that I needed to go before setting off. After 15 minutes I was getting signs of movement, after about 30 the need was becoming pressing, and about five minutes from the office I had to stop at a bookshop and pretend to look at some books whilst I clenched my cheeks together and fought to retain control. The urge passed off, and I made it to the nearest toilet in the office, where I had a very speedy and satisfying evacuation.

Although somewhat jaded, Teenager Plus Ten offers some good analysis of the problem Diner Lady is trying to address. Children and teenagers are going to be harder on bathrooms because, are you ready?, they are children and teenagers. They are probably not going to be as clean as many of the adult customers, nor should they be. Students who don't flush after a shit or pee at school are probably going to be lax at the local diner. Toilet paper liner on the seat--my mom tried to teach me that years ago but I guess I never thought it was that important. Guys peeing over the seats...just like at school and at my house where my mom and I are outnumbered by four males. Teenager Plus Ten is right: if we can't go inside, her parking lot and other areas close by could end up looking and smelling like the inner city hangouts for the homeless in many cities. My boyfriend said, "Serve the grub, let them shit, count your cash" Sounds good to me and he's never taken a business class.

Absolutely NJJ - and your boyfriend will go far!