Ask PoopReport: Wiping Fat Asses?

m 1+ points - Newb

Dear PoopReport,

How do obese people wipe? I am not trying to be rude...just curious. Also, do they make toilets for people over 300 pounds?

370 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: Wiping Fat Asses?"

jim's picture

fuck you asshole.

I am 450 pounds and I resent your question. Where do you live? I will come over and sit on your face and shit, and then you can lick my ass clean.

Tydirium's picture
k 500+ points

Judging from that guy's tone of voice, it sounds to me like he has a lot of trouble wiping. Hence the irritability.

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

Chip Brown's buddy "Pat" used the stall wall as a rubbing post to wipe his ass:

jim's picture

I am a very clean person. Yes I am fat, so what. Is every black person dumb? Is every sexy woman hot in bed? no and no. I am sick of people thinking I am stinky and lazy because of my weight. Go to hell.

ruthless asshole's picture

geez jim, lighten up a little. dont carry the weight of the world on your shoulder. im sure you are as clean and energetic as you are fun-loving and patient.

jim's picture

keep making fun of me..I don't care. I am sure you all have problems people could insult you about too. Since I am 450 pounds and my weight is visible, it's easy for people to insult me.

r. asshole's picture

"keep making fun of me" -- c'mon, jim it was you who started the thread and blabbed about your weight int the first place. dont lead with your chins!!!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

This is not supposed to be an insult fest! Jeez... we're here to learn. The fact is, some people are so big that reaching around and/or between may be difficult. The question on the table is: how? Nobody is judging anybody.

alex's picture

jim = trying to being some sort of flame war...he ought to have realized by now that stuff only happens on the forums, and only when somebody like gwisdala is around

also, you mislabeled this

jim's picture

what about people with skinny butts? what about people with no arms? what about people too stupid to find there butts? how do all of them deal with shitty cracks?

Just because I am fat don't assume I am a sweaty stinky mess.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

hey now. My wife is a big woman, about 5 foot 8 and 285 pounds. Her ass is always clean and she has no problem wiping. I would assume that if you can't reach it, you don't wipe it....hit the showers!!

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper

That's a good question. What ABOUT people with no arms? How do they do it? We might as well include them in this conversation.

Mastercrapper's picture
PoopReport of the Year Awardl 100+ points

I think poopie hygiene for disabled people is an interesting topic in and of itself -- my thinking is that the armless probably look to a bidet before they go showering. By the same token, I'd imagine that I would probably want to wash what I couldn't reach were I overweight. The question that comes to my mind is: do larger people yield larger stools?

kramer's picture

Jim you fat fucker, we all know you have problems wiping your ass and that is why you're so angry. it is okay.

da butt's picture

sarah maffey poops

Dan's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

This question has always plauged really has but i think, in my opinion that they use a stick with either some tp or some wet wipe on it... that could work... as for the armless one... hmm, interesting... maybe there is a pole with some tp on with they have beside the toilet to wipe themselves down with... hell i dont know, but i might find out... hmm...

trigger's picture

I have a catalog of medical aids for mobility-challenged.

It has some wonderful buttwipe sticks with spring-loaded, rubber coated grips.

reasonably priced.

strangely cute models

Em's picture

So.. ummm... Jim.....

How do you wipe???

ThreePly's picture

I wondered this before as well. I had a friend who weighed 400 lbs. and wasn't always the cleanest of men. I used to invision obese people having to use a sponge on a stick like the homeless people use when you get stuck at a stop light downtown. Now that that image is in my head, I'll never let one of those bastards wipe my windshield again.

Natalie's picture

Can anyone else notice that jim is lying? why the hell would a fat person advertise that hes fat. C'mon jim tell the truth :o)

jimbob's picture

Ever heard the term "porker porkin"? Yes people think fat people are lazy and smelly hence the compro to swine. Think about the layers of fat and skin that sit upon e/o and the sweat and nasty funk that accumilates. JIm you seem to have problems. This was an honest question and you became an asshole. This is just like male asking how females urinate and a female saying "fuck you I have no desire to have a penis". Lighten up or leave.

adude's picture

I suggest you all read the book "Born on the Fourth of July". Tom Cruise did a good job of playing Ron Kovic, but you really feel for the guy if you read his own words. It's a very depressing book. He goes into great detail about how after he suffered his paralysis from the wait down, the bathroom became a challenge. In the VA hospitals they gave mass enemas where they filled 20 men with fluid at once and then in a line they would empty them into once container. It was inhumane, unsanitary, and just cruel. He later became somewhat independent. He does go into detail about how he had to put on rubber gloves and dig the logs out of his butt every 2 days cause he lost total control over his bowels. That is just too much to handle.....the guy became that way around age 20. He's around 50 now.

G Ras's picture
l 100+ points

It's an honest question... I did a quick test and found that one could reach their ass from the side if a front wipe felt too effeminate. The unfortunates with no arms could use a device that's like a stick that is curved from the mouth to the soiled crevice... they could wipe by nodding their head up and down like they were answering yes to a bunch of questions... Piece G Ras

Perhaps I am an asshole and so much time has pass you probably won't even read this .... but in my defense.... this site is all about funny stuff that happens to us about shit in the course of everyday living.... and may I say in my story I too got shit

Big Dave's picture

I'm pushing maximum density myself. OK, I'm large but under 350. It's easier to wipe than you think. Perception throws the whole thing into question, but what people forget to consider is that fatty tissue is VERY pliable. Just rip off a couple of sheets, push the family jewels to one side, and go for it. Your arm will automatically smush into your potbelly wiht no problem, giving you as much clearance as skinny people.

I'ma clean freak, so it's kind of weird being part of the group that is labeled dirty slobs. I even shower twice a day in the summer. Gets all of that percieved dripping sweat out of the way, plus you can always bend over in the shower and make sure you got every place last time you sat down and needed to lay cable!

GJA's picture

Thank you Big dave for finally answering the question.

brianw's picture

I am not yet as fat as other people but I am getting bigger and have noticed some difficulty reaching, especially in narrower stalls. I have to squirm and adjust my position uneasily on the seat and this is particularly annoying on toilets with the automatic flush, as such movement tends to trigger and chilly, dirty shower for my hiney.

Scat Woman's picture

This question has perplexed me too...and not in an unkind way, just wondered how large people manage to reach and thinking it must be difficult. There is a large woman at my workplace and the poor woman does smell....pee and other stuff...very sad. The question that perplexes me too is how very large people, the kind that need more than one airplane seat, manage to travel on a really long flight, like 9 hours or something like that (from west coast to Europe say) and whether they can get into those tiny cramped airplane loos - no way one can hold everything for that many hours....just curious..

Emily's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

You use a "Reaching Stick"... Duh..

Fatty McGee's picture

Another oversight is the style involved with wiping. Some people are standing wipers, and others are squatters. I've been a squatter all my life. Therefore whether or not I am 150 or 350 being a squatter is just as easy either way

mojo's picture

I think fat people should let the poo dry on their bums, and then it will just chunk off. No need to wipe then. As for Jim, you suck you big fat piece of crap!!

Barry_Dingle's picture

I like the way mojo thinks. Maybe we should all do that, though with all that sweat drippin' down there it may never dry and chunk. However, a nice ass gravy is just as nice and keeps others from getting too close. I'm approaching 300#, but I have that apple on a stick type of body, so there's not much to my hind quarters. I feel for my pear-shaped counterparts who have to reach out, around, and back up in there to go mining for buttslag.

Judy's picture

One thing no one mentioned that is important is that fat wipers did not get fat overnight. Most people have to wipe daily, some more, some less. Maybe your arms grow to accommodate it, since there is repetition involved. Or your arms and hands are flexible.

I have been overweight all my life (right now 215 and under 5'5"). I've always managed, and I can attest to the fact that losing 40 lbs. this year has been helpful in the hygiene world. There's a little more room to move around in a stall, etc. But the paper is still scratchy.

OK, here's a great exercise I just thought of for those of you who would like to know more about how obese wiping might feel. If you have a wool sweater and a down coat, put them both on and go take a dump. Make sure a lot of the sweater fabric and coat material are wedged in your armpit like the fat would be. For you thin folks, you might need to put on lots of layers of such clothes.

I know I am getting lengthy here, but I would like to add that I have had surgery on my right hand 3 times, and have been forced to use the left for wiping, and it's incredibly inept...

PS I think fat people don't smell their own sweaty odors, because I've known quite a few who seemed so oblivious to their own unpleasantness. These folks would have been very embarassed if they knew what others thought...I aim at being squeaky clean, and hope for the best.

STOP!'s picture

Im fat and i dont have trouble so stop making fun of us because im a nice person if u realy want to know me. im 12 and weigh 192

Cornfused's picture

Do fat people use prop sticks when masterbating?I mean, seriously, there has to be some way to maneuver the fat so they can reach their ever shrinking penises. so long has it been since you have seen your cock? Or does your mom still have to check to see if it is still functioning?

IMA POOPIN's picture


damn's picture

since I'm a tall,muscular man. My big shoulders get in

the way of ass wiping,but by no means am I fat.

limo's picture

dUde u must be som pervert and plus u hav no life to be thinking about things like that. 1)get a life 2)dont make fun!!!! of fatties... juss b/c they make big dueces in the potty hole and stink up everythin u dont hav to make fun........I to was a stinker but i lost weight......u can to jim if u put som effort into it u can hav a heart attack believe me and mostly believe in urself

fat bastard's picture

I am fatt. When I poop, I slap my rolls to shake the poo from my ass! YAY!

oops's picture

Oops, I farted.

Jimmy's picture

I have a very big hiney. I never wipe it. Why? Cuz I like my poop.

Bubba's picture

I did a poop

Jennifer's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I have a bubble butt but my boyfriend is always tryin to stick his peepee in my poop. What should I do?

krystal's picture

i am onley 9 and i way a 130 pounds

Jimmy's picture

Bubble butt poop is fun, I'd like to lick the poop from your bubble butt. Blow a fart in my mouth and I'll poop on the floor.

Ya'll Are LoSeRs!!'s picture

omg... u guys r fightin over shitty cracks.... what a bunch of losers u all r! this makes me laugh

shea10x's picture

This was my respones to the diggleberries question but I feel it may work for this as well....

The best way to prevent dingleberries and/or any poo left on your butt or any smell is to wipe as much off as you can with dry toliet paper, then use Charmins wet toliet paper at least 2 sheets or 3 if your real messey ... and I use it till i see nothing left on it then I wipe with dry toliet paper again just to feel dry .... yes you say that is a lot of paper.... and it usually is but I don't care if I flush twice every time i poo... Just as long as i am clean and comfortable afterwards...

fred derry's picture

i friend of mine once had a really fat repair man round. he went to the toilet and emerged 10 minutes later, the toilet was totally blocked and they had to phone head office to get them to pay the costs for removal of the fatmans shite.

master farter's picture

qqqq you all - the real question is - how do fat people find the time to eat so bloody much? how do they afford it? and, they must spend a lot of time doing shite.

randy rood's picture

I have a comment: its this: fat people are people too. Not just greasy, fat, smelly fucks with bad breath. Have you ever smelled one of their car seats? Good jumping cripey! Don't! I don't know if that's there ass, or debris rotting in their folds. Lets put this question to rest: How do fatties wipe their ass? Answer: who gives a shit, they stink regardless. Lets move on

baller's picture

man u guys need to get a life and shut the hell up already

dale's picture

All of you go fuck yourself! Its not a joke. Fat people have feelings,so try to be human and have some compasion you stupid fucking jerks.

Homie G's picture

ahahhahhahahahhhhahh this is funny shit, carry on, carry on!!!

sophie's picture

this website is fantabidoosy

i linked it 2 all of my m8s

i fink u shud advertise it more!!!

DiS iS MaKiN mE LaUgH 2 MuCh!'s picture

omg, dis is funny, me n my m8z were jst mesin bout n found dis website! no offenec but i dnt particulaay wanna no how u wipe ur ass! Jim get down da gym if ur dat bothered bout da question, n sort out ya weight, n ur asshole! U r all losers talkin bout wipin ur assholez, but i suppose, wotever floats your boat...

Anon's picture

p e r v e r t e d , w e i r d o s!

R's picture

ye, dis is me again, (DiS iS MaKiN mE LaUgH 2 MuCh!) dat woz my m8, sohie! i agree wid her, cary on arguein, itz funny!!!

Timmy Poo's picture

ok.. now I am fat, weight 375 pounds and have no arms. I have to use a speech program to use my computer. I have a bidet... tawit tawoo -- clean as a whistle...

Thomas Crapper's picture

Lets make love, rach. Come on, lets have a go at it.

Tired of the Hate's picture

I'm not fat but I'm chubby. On the matter of being fat, it's really totally not all of their fault. Back in the days of having to hunt your dinner. People worked off the calories if you will hunting their food. Then they sat down and gorged themselves, only to get up and do the same thing. Thier lives depended on food for survival. Now we have a McDonalds every other block and it's a disgusting matter of franchise and money being more important than health. We need not judge those who are overweight, on one hand I can actually empathize. As far as the ass wiping thing, that is no more than a fat joke. I'm disgusted with this and frown at the anorexic community. It's ridiculous and people need to accept others no matter what they look like. Get a life and do something good for someone rather than pick jokes.

Tired of the Hate's picture

Although, if you really want to know about how I wipe my plump behind. I am fortunate enough to have my mother wipe my hiney. Sometimes she wipes a little too long, if you know what I mean....

Mindy's picture

My sister is fat (310lbs). Sometimes when she would use the bathroom and I would use it after her, there would be this brown stripe on the seat where her crack would be. That's just nasty. I would say something to her, and she'd accuse me of only saying that because of her weight. Bullshit, she just needs to learn that if you are fat you have a bigger crack, you need to wipe deeper and longer. I'm gonna go vomit now.

Bob's picture

If your cock is big enough, maybe you could wrap TP atround it and shove it up your ass.

Fatties Rock!

PoopyCrack's picture

I think fat fuckers use skinny guys to wipe their asses

D's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

It's not being fat, it's having short chubby arms that makes it difficult.

Cara's picture

I was anorexic looking in high school and therefore became a stupid slut. Then my parents put me on antidepressants and they made me fat. It sucks complete ass, but luckily, I married the guy I was dating in high school and he likes that my boobs got big and although I hate my body, I'm better off fat. I find it more difficult to wipe my ass as I do the reach around thing, but it is not impossible. Maybe I'm not to the point of not being able to reach. Anywho, I've noticed that sometimes large people do seem to have horrible BO, but I think they don't notice. Anyway, people shouldn't judge, cause having been the skinny one, skinny is not that great either!

Max's picture

Actually, I've found that most of the heavy women I've dated have much stronger cunt odor up front than anything coming from out back. However, I eventually did find just the right woman for me with a big, round bubble butt and a respectable amount of odor coming from it. You just have to find what you like.

It's true what they say; there really is an ass for every seat.

fiesta dog's picture

I have no arms and i dont have any difficalty wiping. I usually just dry hump the back of my cat with my bum to get it nice and clean. Then my cat just licks his back clean and its ready for the next time. Its when hes hidding under the coutch that makes it problematic.

jim's picture

I think we should figure out some way of melting down fat people to power our SUVs and then we wouldn't have to worry about "liberating" oil from Iraq.

We could use a McDonalds special deal to bait all the fat people into gathering in the one place and then BAM, employ some of the gun-toting kids from a local high school to do the massacre.

Anonymous's picture

I have to say i think you poeple are abit sad argueing bout this, but it does make a very amusing read! And mr fiesta dog, most people who have no arms use prostithes so they can do such everyday chores, stop lying out of you crack.

Ampootee's picture

I had my ass (and asscrack) amputated when I was very young. Although I am of normal weight and have both arms, I can say with some certainty that I have more difficulty "wiping my ass" than any of you.

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