And we still don't know how blind people know when they are done, damn it. I don't care how or if or when fat people wipe!

You people are rude,crude and are obviously totally uneducated. I weigh 185 lbs. My boyfriend on the otherhand is 450lbs...He has no hygeine problems whatsoever....he is very clean....and yes.....sex with him is GREAT....

No one answered the fingerfail question (at least seriously). Indeed, how do gals with Hollywood nails without a complete manicure after every poop and pee? How do they even wash their hands? (maybe I don't want to hear the answer... gal who made me wonder about this is a waitress!)

fat man lover i think you are a guy

Im still cracking uip with the first comments from Jim at the top of the page....... my wife has small tits, and she wanted breast implants - $10,000!!!! I told her to rub toilet paper between her breasts to make them grow - she said "why? that wont make them bigger?" I said, "well, it worked on your ass!"

Hi to all this is egg an rib we are clinicly obease an lovin it (FAT KIDS ROCK!!) Being skinny makes u hungry bein fat keeps u warm in the winter. We have bigger things to worrie about like where our next meal's commin from. If u must know we get our mum to wipe our arse she's 89 an still she manages to roll our flab away an wipe the crust off our arse. admittedly she's broke most of her bones in the process and there was one incident of smothering that she never quite got over. But we alway's have a back up plan when she finaly pops her clogs rib had a child it got taken away but got back in touch when it was 18 now it is our slave and feeds us it feeds us coz it's scared scared we'll eat it if it doesn't feed us!!!! LET THAT BE A WARNIN TO ALL U PEOPLE THAT THINK FAT KIDS SHOULD DIET.

(In light of above post). Just in case anyone was wonderin, it obviously still ain't safe to go tooling 'round the Ozarks.

I imagine that blind people wipe, then smell the paper to "see" if their ass is clean or not.

I work for Slashdot and I can say without doubt that wiping becomes impossible when you reach 700 pounds.

i was fat once i weighed around 360 lbs and i was sick and tired of it. the only reason i was fat was because of me!!! it was my fault i didnt sue mcdonalds for making me fat. i got up and started excersising and running alot. and screw you fat people saing that it wasnt your choice guess what IT WAS!!!! so theres two things you can do aabout it 1 stay the way you are or 2 get up and do something about it!!!

end of story.

We have a really obese guy who comes to our company gym every weekday and it's obvious that this fat turdblaster never wipes. Instead (and this is really gross) he goes straight over to the whirlpool sauna and plunks himself in for about 10 minutes then waddles into the pool to wash off. Every single freakin day we end up having to drain the whirlpool sauna and chlorinate after he leaves - there's actually s**t floating in the water!!! We've complained but management won't touch it for fear of 'discrimination'. EVERY FREAKIN WEEKDAY!!!

For Fat Man Lover, does he wipe his own ass or do you help him? Tell the truth! Also does he poop three times as muchas a 150 lb guy?

My mate Is fat but he blames the smell on his cat or his wife.Incidentally his wife Is fat too so she probably thinks It Is her.Gotta like his style

Irritabile bowel syndrome?

I too am plagued by soft, squishy tissue around my middle. My feces are among the most pungent in the world. I rest my laptop on my bulbous tum and sweat constantly. I do, in fact, wipe differently from the more able bodied individuals.

Yesterday, my grandson walked in on me while I was wiping the excess from my rump. He turned away and screamed when he witnessed grandpapa wipe between his legs like a woman.

But I'm proud to be fat. We are a race of people who are belittled in society. Like black people or gay. Or women. Or...men. We shall take supremacy of the planet, as our numbers are growing. GROWING!

Hello, it is me Blubber Buns again! Today I realized that I had old poo caked to my shorts. This is because I lack to do my laundry and just re-wear my old clothing. My Bi-Polar wife said I smelled like a "gringo." So, I decided to teach her a lesson by smelling up the foyer of my town house by pinching some logs into the bowl and "forgetting" to flush.

Worse, is that there was no TP left for me to wipe with. So I reached over and used a plastic carnation flower that my wife had recently bought at a gift store. I then proceeded to trow it out.

So, I ordered a Ruben sandwich from Quiznos'for my wife and I. I picked up the sandwich and brought it home, but my wife had not retured from her tasks. So I devoured it and proceeded to leave a processed Ruben in my wifes toilet upstairs. (She forbids me to shit in "her" bathroom)

When she got back she asked me what the smells were, and I replied I had left her gifts to open.

I think it depends on what fat person it is.if they are in fact dirty then i would say they can be very poopy

im a big woman standing 5'11 at 154 pounds and the only time i find it hard to wipe my rear when the bathroom is small and there is no leg room.but i stay in there until my bum is clean.i also use antibachterial wipes, to clean my azz on the last wipe.i dont like people who smell in any foul way. it will turn my stomach and i will vomit. prolly why i choose to have no friends. i think there are big people who smell and dont care and there are big people who does care and dont smell bad. the same with skinny people too. i have met some pretty nasty skinny people as well. i have to go poo, i will let ya know how it turns out.

Shygirl, would you please visit a site on our forums called Attention Bunga Groupies--Your Help Is Needed!! I think you could really do somthing for all of us if you would hook up with Bunga. You sound like just his type.

Excuse me, SHYGIRL. I don't know what stupid fashion magazine you've been reading but 5'11" and 154 pounds is not even close to "big". Tall maybe, but not big. That is downright anorexic. I am 5'6" and the last time I weighed 154 pounds my ribs were sticking out of my chest.

TSV, please don't try to derail Bunga's path to bliss. Maybe Shygirl misunderstood her dimensions. Maybe this was meant to be. Maybe I am outta ny league!!!

anorexiic no im at my ideal weight thank you.i have small bone structure.if my bone structure was large then yes my ribs would be showing.when i said big i meant tall ya shit ball. and who the hell is bunga anyway?

shygirl is the purrfict name for her.
I have dated a few "big" women and the only thing bigger than their poops is their mouth.
That is good for some things though....=0
Yeah her and Bunga are going to be interesting...TSV needs to be the "catalyst"

BTW.....Bunga is the kind of guy that mows the lawn and waits a coupla days to wash his face!
Go Bunga!!!

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Bunga is potentially your knight in shinging armor, SHYGIRL. You should talk to him. He is one of the funniest guys on this site, and a really interesting dude. Hell, If you don't hook up with him, I might just do it.

As for the question that started this thread, I think they use arced back scatcher type things to wipe. The truly morbidly obese probably have people do it for them. Perhaps they use highly trained midgets with squeegies and rapelling ropes.

SamDamnit!
President in Exile
of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Besides, he can teach Shygirl some grammar. It took about three passes to read "her" last message because "she" misspelled half "her" words and seems to have a problem with capitalization. If this is the typing style of the average 12-year-old than public schools have slumped lower than I first imagined.

im not 12 thank you.i am in my 20s and i just so happen to be dealing with heroin addiction and i luv to drink.so i guess we cant all be perfect like u.and i likes me some dirty smelly fat men.and they likes me thats why i cant get u out of my dirty undies the shit volcano......what was it u was screamin last night when u was eatin the shit out of my azz?call me CAPTAIN KLINGONS...i think that was it

Uh, Bunga, I get a feeling that "shy" may be on a scale of just how "shy" she is paid (and snorted up) to be. My suggestion is that you stick with the millions of MILF's that are coming your way. Cheaper, and LOOOOOTTS safer!

You can always tell when they are pissed because they get even more incoherent than usual.

I have been having trouble getting to my ass crack since I have gained around 30 lbs. in the past 6 months. I'm up to around 230 now and am only 5' 9". I'm not morbidly obese but I definately need to lose a few. When I was younger and a whole lot skinnier, I could reach around my side and wipe. I have been reaching between my legs to wipe for years now. (producing another problem commonly known as NSDB or nutsack dingleberries) When I have had a particularly rancid and liquid bowel movement, I tend to wipe as many as five or six times to render my butt crack squeaky clean. I must be careful to not use too much TP or flush once before I finish to keep the loo from getting clogged. I also must be cautious against premature wiping since you can wipe clean only to have more logs to pinch and once again an overabundance of TP in the bowl making for a potentially bad situation (an overflowing toiletbowl filled with pure unadulterated liquid shit ending up on the floor is problematic) if you don't flush at least once before finishing wiping. Another problem I have been having is when the end of a not quite ready to eliminate turd pokes it's head out like a turtle and it continously gets smeared and renders it impossible to get a squeaky clean butt crack and in fact you have a perpetually dirty butt crack. Try as I might I always end up going back to the bathroom to re-wipe after my initial futile attempts at a sucessful intial wiping session. This situation renders a condition I refer to as GAS (greasy ass syndrome) which produces discomfort and itching. I like to say that Bart Simpson's favorite cartoon characters are calling me back to the bathroom to re-wipe. Itchy and Scratchy. The only sure fire way to alieviate this condition is to soak in a tub after your bowel movement to insure squeaky clean. My washclothes have been completing the job of wiping for me as I notice that they too end up with skidmarks after I shower. When I was young my dad use to hold me upside down in the shower and directed the shower spray up my butt crack to ensure squeaky clean. If I were rich I would have some strong personal assistant that could lift me upside down and direct the shower spray in my butt crack to achieve squeaky clean. I've said my peace. Now if I could only find the thread about belly button cheese.

I love this thread. It is disgusting, tragic and funny at the same time.

_______
SamDamnit!
President in Exile
of Poopreportia
http://www.myspace.com/saintcarnivean

Amazing this has been going on so long, I'm 249 lbs and truly have never had a problem. But if I did I think I would use what I like to call the "whip wipe" If you twist your torso back and fourth several times you can get the momentem to reach in and wipe. All be it fast and sloppy, you made need to make more then one pass. What I would like to know is about the morbidly obease. People who can't even roll over in bed let alone sit on the pot. Who handles their poop? I pitty the fool.

I am about 6 foot 3 and weigh 440 lbs. I definitely have problems wiping. I even have long arms, but there are still issues. There are pooping and toilet issues too. So listen up to all who are interested in a real fat guy's personal insight.

First of all, when you are quite obese, your penis disappears. It doesn't shrink, it just gets lost in the pouch of fat where your pubic hair is. So when you pee you have to push hard with your hand against this fat puch to get your penis to "stick out" enough to aim properly and what not. We;; as you may imagine, this causes pooping problems. Most household toilets are not very large and by the time a really large person sits on one the pubic area could be resting on the seat and with a penis that is "hidden" in the fat pouch, and even more so in a sitting position, it makes it really hard for me as I almost always pee when I poop. I have to angle myself as I sit down so my penis rests inside the toilet seat instead of out. Even then I have to reach down and push my penis into vertical downward position. If I am not careful about this, when I pee it will go betwen the seat and the rim of the bowl and will run down and get my pants all wet.

Now about wiping...

It is impossible for me to wipe when sitting. The only technique I have found that works is to stand up, turn around so I am facing the toilet and to put leg up on the the seat. Then, making sure I have a large wad a paper I can wipe. But because of my weight and the size of my butt cheeks, I don't have complete access to my anal area so the poop tends to smear on the inside of my butt cheeks very near my anus. I have counted, and on average I wipe about 6-8 times before I see no poop on the toilet paper. I usually flush 2-3 times. At home, my upstairs toilet is terrible and can only handle one of my large wads of toilet paper per flush. The best way is to poop and then shower. Sometimes I will wipe 4-5 times and then use baby wipes if I sense there is still something there to wipe. If I am careful not to each a lot of carbs and stick to lean protein, my poop will come out very easily and when I wipe, even the first time, there is no poop on the toilet paper. I wish I pooped like that every time.

I forgot something else. Because of the size of my butt cheeks, or depth I guess, it is not at all uncommon to get poop on the side of your hand or one of your fingers. I keep really good soap in the bathroom that is good for scrubbing.

Uh...TMI
Ill risk a -1

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

dude, its is not possible for these fat oprah watching woman to wipe their ass. Most people still miss chunks of shit and walk around with shit on their ass all day. A fat woman cant even reach around all the way, and there must be alot of cheek in the way. chalk this up the the how do fat people have sex question. I see a big woman and think, she must have crap still on her ass. that is damn nasty

Pimpturdy, what is with your hatred of women? It seems every comment you have made on the forums (before you were banned) and here has something to do with insulting women. It sounds like you have some issues to deal with. There are psychiatrists out there who can help you with this problem.

And for the record, this is not a flame. I really do think you have a problem!

I think it's funny how people assume that other people are a certain gender, then, they get mad at them and insult them in ways that make little sense because they got the gender wrong.

I wonder how many obese people purchase hose style bidet attachments for their toilets, in order to get all the poo off their bums.

i am a professional weightlifter and im on my college team.... because of my massive arms i cannot reach around to wipe... so i simply go under from the front making sure to lift me penis out of the way.. it works just as well.. -just a tip

This poll grossed me out, BIG time! Recently we read in the news that Australia is raising their weight capacity standard of 100 pounds to 300 pounds. I guess they're experiencing a boom in obesity there also.

To the gym guy: Revoke that man's membership--there should be a clause in the contract allowing the company to do so. SHIT is a health hazard and the facilities' jacuzzi shouldn't become his private bathtub, for cripes sake. He can buy his own freakin jacuzzi or turn on the garden hose at home!! Enough is enough.....

i had to just say this is the funniest thing i have read today lol

I'm glad to see that this thread has turned its self around for the better.

I would ass-ume that an obese person would wipe much like a non obese person. I would say wiping front to back would be easier for someone who is obese.

I think most toilets are weight universal (made for all weights). I would also think that an obese person would have an easier time cleaning themself on an elongated bowl.

As for how an amputee would clean themself, I have no clue.

_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.

Excellent topic. I'd have to say, being a 280 pounder myself, that three hundred pounds should not be a problem as Mookster originally thought. I could easily gain 200 pounds and still wipe the way I learned at around age four.

I think your all full of poop dang pick a better subject to discuss. If your that worried about turds get a job at a sanitation dept. in your city :0

Then why did you bother to keep reading? Hmmn?

Melchezidek -- thank you for your sincere response amid all these other infantile comments. Your candour is greatly appreciated.

Well lets see I am not skinny but I am not five by five either. I use the reach around method then after no poo appears on the paper thennnnnnnn this is key here people. I recently invested in the charmin flushable wipes. So for good measure I use one of those. Then I feel really clean.
The Thunderous Crapper Enjoying the Home Toilet advantage since 2004

We need bidets in this country (US). Problem solved! Thank you!

AS I GET FATTER IT IS GETTING HARDER TO REACH. I WONDERED HOW OTHERS COPE. I AM THINKING OF A DISH WASHING SPRAYER. SORT OF A HAND HELD BIDET.

I don't know how I ended up here, but I sure hope all the folks posting on here are kids because most of the postings are childish..enough said :)

Oh my, my, my... Having just ventured here for my first time I'm a bit overwhelmed. I don't know whether this is hysterically funny, badly demented, or both. One thing I do know is I'll be back!

Both.

Welcome.

I honestly do appreciate Melchezideks Post, His open honesty was enlightening amid the childish rants of others. YES.. there are people out there, Myself included that are in a Bad way and have questions and need help. I am 44, 6', and weigh in at 395.

I had a back injury, and have been out of work for the past 5 years, each year getting bigger, I cant go run, or go to the gym. I am all but a recluse now. Each day wishing i had the balls to just end it all. Yet. i wake up each day... of my miserable existance, SO.. even though there were a few things Ill admit.. i did laugh at. While I was upset by others.

There are people who cant help thier circumstance. and untill you are in a similar situation. you should keep your GD mouth shut. I dont wish this existance or "Life" On ANYONE. The thing that i found that helped a bit.. was I replaced the sink cabinet in my bathroom and installed one that was much longer, Just about 6" from the toilet so i can push my arm back.

No matter what i do.. there is intense PAIN whether its my arm , or my back . Usually BOTH. But it does get the job done. I am a Very clean Person. Almost compulsive.
SInce ive had this problem, Ive taken on this absolute fear of long periods away from my home. If i were cought out in a restroom far from home..

Im in trouble.. SO.. I do everything i can to stay Home. I agree .. this is Gross, Sad, and pathetic. But its a reality for Many people. My only Hope is to get the gastric bypass surgery.. but insurance will not cover it, basically sentancing me to an indirect death. Im now diabetic, on Blood pressure meds, I have severe sleep apnea ( I stop breathing in my sleep) and 24/7 pain and self loathing.

Those of you in a similar situation, I wish you all the best those who think this is a joke, I only hope one day YOU know first hand what this is like, maybe you will think different.

Don't feel bad I'm tipp'n the scales at about 405 and I'm 5'2" I wish I were not so big, I wasn't when I was younger, I feel like I need to have my stomach stapled shut so I can dump off 200 lbs perhaps a buttplug could stop the influx of so much eating?

Its really sad being a fatty like this, I can't even reach my own arse to wipe somedays when I'm stiff.

Maybe I might have some of the smelly cellulose pie just cut off, i'm scared that could make me sick.

Or maybe I could go take a hundred and fifty nuclear tubro-laxes and that would give me an endless case of the squirts. (could I crap the pounds away?)

what to do ..

A well time to go hit up the Thomas J. Crapper

I can't believe how long this thread has been alive.

I found it by typing "how do fat people wipe" in the search bar, and was automaticly routed to this page.

Regarding the Fat Sex issue, I had a patient who volunteered these words on many occasions (he weighed about 180kg):

"I bet you wonder how a couple of 400-pounders have sex. Well it's a lot of face-to-face and skin-to-skin, a lot of pushin' and shovin' and nothing goin' in."

He was a great guy with a great sense of humor. A very inteligent man.

He had a very loving wife, who had to tend to his daily hygine, since his hands were virtually useless. He eventually lost many of his fingers to bacterial infections; not because he was unclean, but because of a weak immune system.

He taught me how wrong I could be to judge a person by their outward appearence.

I am a fat pig and really can't care enough to bother losing weight. For a long time I wiped from the front and as time went on with ongoing effort I finally couldn't reach either way. So what I ended up doing was making sure I only shit at home and I have a beach towel I use while in the shower and I run it back and forth from front to back between my fists, yep - I shower after each crap and then wash the towel out really good before hanging it up. So I am fat but at least I don't smell like shit like the other fat people.

I wipe my ass with a rag on a stick.

This is all too funny...but I have this question...If we are now debating if people can sell their kidneys, could fat people sell their fat from lipo-suction to be used in making bio-fuel diesel...Seems win win for everyone to me...also gives a whole new meaning to FAT farms...

Yeah, wiping the hiney is a bit of a problem. I played pro ball for 12 years and my ass and gut are so damn big now. I'm hopeless. Wiping my arse is a bit of a problem to. I have to stand and brace against the wall to get my arm in a position to get into the back. It does work and my ass is as clean as anyone's.

I eat anything I can get in my mouth and this causes me to have to shit numerous times daily.I have become lazy and take only a cursory wipe at my grungefest ass.I have come to grips with the fact I stink and I dont care anymore.I took up cigar smoking to try and mask the stench.I only change my underwear once a week and they usually dont last long because the ass rots out of them.When I do wipe I wad a half roll up and swipe as best I can and leave it at that.I will always be this way and your just jealous.

That was the shortest reformation in the history of Poopreport, you stinking bastard.

One minute you're all "I'm clean and loving it", and the next I find you armpit deep in our garbage can, routing around for the leftover turkey carcass because it's craft time at the looney bin and you want to make anorexic finger puppets out of the ribs for therapy Thursdays.

Make up your damned mind. If I have to come in there and pull you out, I swear to God that I'm going to forcefeed you half a container of Metamucil that's been mixed with Scope. You'll shit peppermint turds so fragrant that I could use them as air fresheners in my car.

Get your act strait. I'll track that trail of slime you ooze until it stops at your front door, and then, your ass is mine. I'm bringing 2 gallons of bleach and an idustrial-sized cheese grater. And then you'll be clean, Feto. By God, you'll be clean.

Season's Fucking Greetings.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

someone sure had alot of time on there hands to sift through this old thread and post "lame comment" or "great comment".

If you have that much time to waste come over to my house and do something constructive like my housework or yardwork.
I will keep you busy.

Yes he will keep you busy. First, you will have to get him beer. Then you'll have to bring him toilet paper when he craps out the remains of the Sunday buffet we ate hours before. By the way buffet stands for Big Ugly Fat Fucks Eating Together. He qualifies for all six of those qualifications.

But mostly of all you will have to drag him away from the computer. All day long he is on this disgusting poop site. All the time. Look at his remarks on the stories here. He lives on this site. I'm tired of living alone.

I hate you Poopreport.

We've gone over this in therapy, either you leave or he leaves. You're just enabling him, much like this website.

Holy crap, this discussion has reached the five-year mark.
I've recently gained a lot of weight. I just passed the 400 mark and I have to say that everything Melchezidek said is spot on. Especially about tucking the penis after you sit down. It has really become a pain and it's not a pretty sight.
Also, I've just recently become unable to reach my butthole well enough to wipe completely. It's frustrating to say the least. There's nothing worse for your self esteem than sitting on a public toilet and straining/praying/grunting uselessly trying to wipe your own ass. Especially when you finally give up and pull your pants up just to get that Not so fresh... rather... sticky ass feeling that makes you avoid eye contact with everybody you meet.
So far, my solution has been to hit the shower after every time I go. But, the absolute best thing I did was buy a bidet toilet seat. I can't recommend this enough to anybody in a similar situation. The one I got is the Swash made by Brondell. It replaces your current toilet seat and has a little stick that comes out and sprays heated water at your ass. It does a really great job. You can adjust the temperature and pressure. It even has a hot-air dryer to dry off. As a matter of fact, I would have to recommend one of these to everybody, not just fat fuckers like me. Until I used one of these, I never really knew how unclean my poor butt had been my whole life.

Squat, spread em, sit - Helps if you've got a barrel for an ass, like me.
Push...
Wipe like a normal person, just kinda tuck the leg fat to the sides and suck the belly in as much as you can. Baby wipes are a fat man's friend.
-and avoid getting frustrated and whining like a little snot about asswipe insecurities to people on a board discussing fecal matter. It's sad and makes me laugh.

but yea, Baby Wipes, though.... fat people need premoistened Baby Wipes!

Fat people are just as sexy as skinny people. Personally, I think this whole "forum" or "website" is a joke. Just like 99.9% of people on here.

DAPHNE YOU ROCK!! Tell that stinkin' ass Feto Walcott what up.He was lying his funky ass off saying he moved up in the world.He must have been dreamin'!! Feto,I can smell your narly ass all the way here in Pittsburgh.You'll never come clean Feto,unless Daphne has her way with you,although she might need a Haz Mat suit just to degrunge your cigar festooned ass.You suck Feto!!

You're next on my list, Boots. I'm packing up the Mr. Bubble and two 10-foot window brushes and heading for the 3 Rivers to dump you in one of them. If you struggle, the belt sander's coming out. You know you want it.

Now, I'll need a few things from you:
- list of your next of kin.
- 25 foot fire hose.
- 1 pressure washer.
- 4 250-pound test ground springs to attach to
- 35 feet of climbing rope to make sure the water blast doesn't toss you into the street. .....I've lost more clients that way.......
- 2 otters (don't ask)
- 6 watermelons

Make sure your health insurance covers road rash, rug burn, and perforated bowels.

I'm gonna' get you, Boots.

_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

O.K. I am sorry.I never cleaned up.But I was hoping if I saw myself saying I did I would feel better about myself.It didn't work so here I am as foul as ever and not caring.I now have made my mind up I will revel in my funk and filth and make it the highlight of my everyday!Your just jealous and management is always wrong!

OH no, say it ain't so Feto, say it ain't so. I was sure that your new found comportment and hygiene would lead to happiness, but now you're back wallowing in filth and festulance.

Can you really be happy with brown stump teeth with gaps for taquitos and cigars, a miasma of mephitis emanations pouring off your corpulent, crusted crapper?

Please Feto, for all of us, just this once acknowledge the truth.

Management is always right, and you're just malodorous.

I'm 6'2 and about 310, and I don't have any trouble. I would never attempt to wipe without standing up, but once I'm standing up it's not too difficult. I always figured I wiped like a normal person but then I got here and realized there is no standard. I don't have to do anything too weird, though.

I was hinted at that Santa might bring me a disinfecting clean up kit this year.But I have no chimney in my condo and I doubt he would eat my cookies and drink the milk anyway.No those are not chocolate chip cookies.I am missing some of my roaches.Actually I was hoping for new underwear since most of the ones I have the ass has rotted out of them.Management is always wrong and your just jealous!

I am 41 and about 15 to 20 lbs over weight, 174lbs to be exact. I eat a lot of cookies and junk food and I am fucking lazy as a person could be, I get winded walking to the goddamn mailbox. I know how much food I eat and how fucking lazy I am, so after reading this and really putting some thought into it, I have decided that if I end up at 200 or 300 or even 400lbs I would have to eat 3 to 4 times the amount of food I am now "IT WOULD TAKE ME EATING ALL DAY AND NIGHT WITH LITTLE SLEEP TO ACCOMPLISH THAT AS WELL". I would say at that point if I could not wipe my ass and I had a horrid odor that someone should shoot me in the head and have me buried.

If you're fat you deserve not being able to wipe your ass. It's GODS way of trying to force you to stop eating so much food.

I can say this... IF you can't reach your ass crack or need a lift to get in and out of your vehicle or waddle when you walk. then I feel sorry for you and you need mental help. I would also add that you should just break down and spend your twinkie money on a handgun and get it over with... Just kill your self and be done with it.

Also if you have Handicap sticker or tag hanging from your rear view mirror and it is because you are fat... You're a fucking loser an d should be jailed until you reach a normal weight... released and then if you eat like you did before, you should be hung by your selfish goddamn neck until you are dead~!

My co-workers and I were discussing how fat people wipe their butts. Thank you for the enlightening discussion.

Williard, you wouldn't happen to be Forrests retarded brother?

Just stick a Kotex to the front of the seat and glide right off...

I am a nurse, wiped a lot of asses in my time. They all stink, fat, skinny, rich, poor... So if you think yours doesnt stink, guess again...

My hat's off to all you nurses. I could never do it. One whiff of a bed pan patty and I head for the exit.

I've always been somewhat active and never had to even think about problems wiping after taking a dump, but since these last 1 and 1/2 yrs., I switched jobs to a sit down telephone sales position and I now have gained an unexpected 100+ lbs. very rapidly in that time frame. I now am 35 y.o. and 350 lbs. and 5' 10" and I was at a very muscular 225 and looked good just a year and a 1/2 ago and all my years before that. It seems it all went to my gut area and not as much on the love handle area, but I now cannot wipe my ass from either side as I have always known, and if I try, I get this unbearable rib cramp that leaves me in excruciating pain (almost like it literally pulls a rib out of place) and in the shitter gasping for at least 10-20 min. of immense side cramp pain that makes me almost have to throw myself on the floor to stretch it out immediately (instinct), but I have to reach up and grab the stall tops and stretch and agonize and hope no one is listening to my gasps for the pain to go away for the length of time needed to return to almost normal, if I don't do this long enough, then all over again the pain comes rushing back just as fierce. This happens on both sides of my ribs, and just as bad on each side. When I'm at home, I literally have to throw myself on the bed to stretch it out in excruciating pain the whole time, but at work I have to deal with it and completely DREAD having a shit come on. I now HAVE to have a towel that I wet before taking a shit, and have to use by pulling back and forth method between my legs and have to sneak out to the sink area and rinse off and then repeat again before being satisfied clean, but I have to have a leg up resting on something as well while I'm pulling on said towel. This is embarrassing b/c I want to make sure no one else is in the bathroom while making these trips back and forth to the sink and shitter. Also, even with this method, if I hurry it too much or use too much of my ribs into the pulling back and forth, guess what? A friggin' monster rib cramp again and time to reach for the top of the stalls again. I never thought I would have to adjust my ways to deal with such a normal human behavior as taking a "dump", and I really empathize for the people who have had to deal with such a thing their whole lives. Even in the shower, I have to have a towel to clean my crack, and the rib cramps happen in there as well, I am an ex-athlete and know how to get back in shape, I hope to soon, it just seemed to happen so quickly (the weight gain). I hope to lose weight and hopefully these "pains" will diminish then. But either way, I have seen both sides of looking forward to taking a dump and being relieved to now being scared that a damn cramp is going to happen each and every time I have to take a dump and dread this NORMAL activity. I had lockers at my last job in the bathroom, so I could keep a towel there, but now I wonder what my next work place bathroom will be and if it will accomodate my needs to clean myself. I already have it planned to bring a backpack with a towel in it everyday in case the need arises to do the duty, and I'm sure co-workers will be wondering why I bring it into the shitter every time I have to go, they'll probably be thinking I keep a stash of drugs in there and need a refresher, but little do they know it holds my "key" to keep cleanliness intact from the task of taking a dump. Does anyone else get these damn, gut-wrenching side, rib cramps? Wow, I cannot explain just how bad they really are! Now don't be tellin' me to "just lose some weight you lazy, fat ass!", I know this, and like I said I've been in shape my whole life til' these last couple of yrs., and even own my own gym equipment, working out is just one of those things that is hard to get going and stick with, but yet soooo easy to quit for an extended amount of time. I swore I never would let myself get to where I am, but here I am and I'm happy, just not comfortable, so I just gotta get that "spark" in my head, like we all have to when you want change, and just do it! Hopefully this will be as easy as it was in the past when I was more active, but if not, then, I hope this can at least help some people that might deal with this problem as I have and ya know what?, if I do get back down to my ideal weight, I might keep this towel tactic in cleaning my crack, it really does do the cleaning better than just t.p. and even saves quite a bit of money, b/c I was a compulsive t.p. user and went through a lot on each dump beforehand and the workplace t.p. is crappy, cheap material anyways and tears off way too easy, at least in every workplace I've been in. The only thing, I gotta get done with is these damn rib cramps! Hope this helps somebody at least and like I said, let me know if you get these side stabbings also.

Actually regarding the OP's post when fat people shit on the toilet how do they get all the shit clean since I'm sure that the shit will be smeared over all the folds, does that mean all kinds of crap lives between the folds? o.o If so that's just disgusting.

They don't!!!!!

Hey Jim, I understand you may be clean. Come on though man, isn't life hard being overweight? Believe, being a healthy weight is a great way to live life. Simple things, like walking up stairs become easy. Come on Jim...

Overweight people are not 3rd class citizens as so many believe. I'm overweight. I'm clean. I have a job. I don't smell. I shower everday. I don't eat all day long either. My monthly food budget is not excessive. I have no problems wiping my butt after a bowel movement. Since the world is geared to skinny people, we make due with what we have or are given. Some public stalls could be bigger tho.

"How do obese people wipe?"

Um.... I'd assume the way anyone else does? I mean it's not like they're another species!

Maybe Rosie Odonnell will demonstrate how to wipe a fat ass with that bike seat prariedoggin is hording. That's IF you ask her nicely. Of course, you have to get the bike seat from pdog first.

I'm sure , being the tree hugger Rosie is, she probably uses only one or two "squares" or goes au natural. All the better for the seat.

I think I need to get a drink, or vomit, or both.

I wonder if that Steven Harrison is the type of guy who wear terry-cloth head bands even when he's not exercising. Maybe he wears little Adidas jogging suits everywhere, like to the grocery store, where he buys things like yogurt, apples, and Crystal Lite. So positive, so encouraging, so Steven Harrison.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Maybe with a bit of a Richard Simmons fro..

i hate americans and fat people

Yeah, we all hate doniker. Join the club. But please tell us which you hate more: skinny Americans or fat Italians?

You sound like an under weight, under shaved, under bathed, European there Prince Charming.

How did you know I skipped shaving this morning, Prarie?

You left your curtains open.

Wow, this whole issue had never occurred to me.

I'm 18 yrs old, weigh 64 kg (about 140 lbs) and am in good shape. I go to the gym regularly; I can run 1 mile (1.6 km) in under 6 mins, which is quite good, and can benchpress about 150 lbs.

But I am aware that there's a possibility of getting fatter when I get older (though I hope to be able to keep up good exercise habits). Since I've never been overweight, it simply had never occurred to me that overweight people would have difficulty wiping themselves.

I feel sorry for some overweight people, but not all. Some of them have genuine health problems (such as metabolic disorders) and can't help being fat. Others, of course, are simply lazy, and I have no sympathy for those.

It's called a bidet.

a girl i know is huge n she stinks really bad. my point is she obviously cant wipe her fat sweaty arse very good.her arms probably cant reach over her flab to get to it.

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no place like home for a nice big ol shiet

I got a big ass and i can't wipe it...i'm a stinky man.......

Everyone wipes the same. Just bigger people have to maneuver in different ways, like handstands.

Curious: The wide senator from Idaho, Larry Craig, couldn't have put it any better.

Dont worry healthy people, all these fat moon pie, twinky cake mother fuckers will wead themselves out of our genetic pool by chocking on fried ice cream! So if your fat, go head and do the world a favor and woddle your fat ass out into to traffic...make sure it is a diesel truck so it handle the job... Thank you have a nice day!

While we're at it, lets invite all the intolerant fuckers to re-enact the Jonestown koolaid event...er...except for me, of course.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Ok, this whole thing has made me laugh my ass off. So gross but SO funny!

People - I am a 55 year old woman who tried to reach 100 pounds for most of my younger life. Had my children, at 9 months (both), total baby weight (my weight), was 110 for my daughter, and 112 for my son. Being of German descent, and after menopause (which I was through with at the early age of 39), I began rapidly gaining torso weight. I still have skinny arms and legs. FOR ALL OF YOU OUT THERE WHO HAVE WRITTEN SUCH CRUEL NOTES, I just found out what the debilitating pain in my left side is -- I feel it every time I reach around with my right hand, to wipe my bottom. I also use moist wipes, to stay clean - but just found out that the pain is due to TWO FRACTURED RIBS, fractured while twisting to wipe my bottom. I already have been in horrendous pain in my hips and back because of this "barrel body!" Plastic surgeons should help people like me for NO FEE. It is absolutely debilitating. Your comments are cruel, and I hope you NEVER know the pain that I am constantly in. I am a recovering alcholic as well - sober for 15 years now, so don't blame it on the beer - I am HONEST with my doctors about my ongoing recovery from alcoholism, and therefore, am not prescribed the type of pain pills that most of you could get for an ingrown toe nail. I will pray for you - please pray for me as well. Thank you!

How do bedridden fat people like Manuel Uribe, the world's heaviest man who weighed in at over 1200lbs poo? The amount of food and conversely the amount of poo would be enormous and as he is bedridden how does the poo get from him to where it needs to go?

Hey Jim;
You are obviously a Fat ass. Just accept the fact that you eat too much. There are starving children in the world and you are stuffing your face so you can complain about it. 450 lbs is not natural bonehead. It takes effort to become a fat disgusting individual....

I am 250 pound person with big pot belly from too much soda pop and candy. I was doing fine until I cracked my right wrist and then things went from bad to worse, during trying to learn new wiping skills. Also with back surgery I had things made it impossible to bend and reach. So I have been experimenting with wooden stick method which I burned deep groves to the bottom of the stick which looks like a hocky stick with long handle. Groves were to hold paper on stick - works only p[art time for me. Then the paper was ripping off and sticking where I did not need it and trying to remove the paper was worse than trying to remove particulate matter. Thats why I can to this sight! I was wondering if someone had a new improved method of holding paper onto the stick method better, and if a second tool would be needed to search and rescue the wad of paper that gets stuck in the crack. Then finally Today I finally found someone with some common sense and helpful and mentioned rubberized method and tools which may be listed in a catalog to buy until I get back onto my feet again. My next big goal is to loose weight and prevent these problems from ever happening again. Thank you Judy for the information.

I read all of these suggestions of of the how to's, and decided to look into a catalog for a tool that is rubberized and can have paper wrapped around it, and will not allow the paper to fall off the rubberized stick when needed most during the task at hand. I looked at many catalogs for im-mobile people uses and found nothing there. But I have an Idea! Since I wear pants that has two pockets on each leg, I can store the long sock someone suggested to use moist, and rinse methods until clean, then wash out sock and put back into a zip lock baggy and place back into lower leg pocket again. This method would be used when not at home and shopping for that better tool which might work better, until you people get out there and invent something fast! Look how much someone got when they invented the tooth pick, or the hoof pick for horses. But then I am not too sure how much money this will bring in wealth, since someone said the only fat people are here in America. I personally was looking for some sort of folding comb or something like that to wrap the toilet paper around and use and then refold the utensil once properly cleaned for storage and place back into a lower pocket again. But I have hundreds of missing mate socks and zip lock bags and that may prove to work out well until my fractured wrist and lower back problems are healed someday. I have not been feeling secure about this problem for quite sometime. For some people this problem will not go away and we can't just jump into shower when shopping for food. Or, since you may be in a clothing store at the time when a movement might be made, use their socks and then leave them by the toilet to dry for the next person. The store can just write them off on taxes. that would be better than having little wads of debris and particulate matter on walls and on the floors.

I knew a stinky fat girl- after a few hours whew! But I just dated a hugh chick and she never smelled bad. just sayin- her vulnerability was sweet though- the stinky s=chick was kinda stuck up and bitter- the nice one was kind and hard working.

I think the Hugh chick was a man. Sorry to have to tell you.

I am 470lbs. I have no problem with this question. I think obese people should be more open about their circumstances. I use an extended hand to help wipe. It feels like the real thing, and makes my life simpler. Sometimes I even use it to get food, because my fat gets in the way. So what? I'm proud

i am a 400 pound latino. so i just use bath towels to wipe my ass, and my boyfriend lifts up my flaps and does it for me. question answered.

Jimmy! Did you loose the "Gopher Pick Up Tool" that I bought you for your birthday?

I bought Jimmy the "Gopher" because he kept getting splinters on his taint and balls from using a backscratcher to whipe himself.

I cannot believe how a curious question has been bantered around. A question not meant to be vicious, but out of wonder regarding the weight of some people.

I dont know how obese people wipe as i havent seen an obese person trying to wipe butt smear ever. i do know that they dont even make toilet seats strong to hold a 120 pounder while wiping. It really scares the pootsy out of me when the tiolet seat shifts when i have one leg lifted slightly so my weight cause the toilet seat to shift off the center.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sitting pretty....I would invite you up to watch me in action but it is not a pretty sight. I am obese,a standing wiper, and have no problem reaching the business portion of my massive ass. I must do a good job because I get no complaints about stinking and have skid mark free boxers.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I'm kind of obese and I have no problem wiping my ass. As for blind people, wouldn't you think they either have someone do it for them or just feel themselves? This is off the subject, but I wonder if we have any blind people that use this sight.
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Russell the shitting queen

hi all, i google how do fattys wipe their arse?

i had a bad RTA which left me crippled, i got fat coz i cant move to much, im frightened to eat, i live on milk drinks coz i cant work out how to wipe my arse, i do however hav a gsoh, and reading this has given me a good laugh,

i think everyone should be the butt of a joke, black, gays, irish, every fucker, if the PC brigade dont like it, they can fuck off,
long live POOP

You have a point there, Chief. The truth is big or small, fat or skinny, short or tall, ugly or pretty, it is not a pretty site to see anybody in a mid-wipe of poop. Funny...it could be quite funny though, wouldn't you think. The male donor to my life is obese with short arms(because he is petit under all the adipose). I think he doesn't have trouble because his butt is so flat, I guess. I gained some weight so now I feel fat with my poo belly growing bigger.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I think they wipe in an up and down motion.

It's understandable why people think fattys are disgusting. The very reason you're fat is in direct correlation to your lifestyle: your either to lazy to get

moderator's interjection -

I feel sorry for you.

I weigh 525 lbs and I am 5'8. I cannot afford a special toilet to cointain my overly large ass. Therefore, I have bought a kiddie pool at walmart and placed It In my backyard. They are building a two house story next door so I'm worried about the future of my crapping sanctuary. I'm not nasty though, obviously I clean out that little pool every week especially since me and my husband share it. Afterwards we take turns cleaning each others asses from afar with the high pressure garden hose.

Sp, you brought up a point. You don't necessarily have to be fat to have problems wiping. You could be of normal size but have those short T-Rex arms. I guess where there is a will there's a way.

Thanks PD, Now i'm having visions of skinny people with T-Rex arms trying to wipe their butts.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

FYI, my poo belly is down by 5 lbs. It doesn't look big anymore.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

well on going to be humble and say am 440 lbs and it sucks, when i got over 400 lbs i started having problems wiping my butt and fortunately i live alone and found that lying on my side on the bed w/ paper towels helps me to reach and wipe my butt while am lying down!! this my sound gross and it is & i do need help to lose weight & its depressing because i dont go too many places far because of the bathroom issue!! only a few family members and close friends know i have to do this and its humilating, so there, thats how this 450 lb man wipes his ass!!! later

Big Jim, I noticed that in the course of typing your post you gained 10 pounds. You're in need of help my friend. The words morbidly obese mean exactly what they say. Get to a doctor who can put you in touch with a group that can help. While I appreciate your wiping story, I would much rather hear of one where you crapped your pants while jogging or bungee jumping or something. Please report back when you are in treatment. Believe it or not people here care.

I have trouble wiping, partly due to my weight, and partly my back pain. I am about 480 pounds and have been suffering for back pain for a while. The pain was getting to be too much when i tried to bend or twist to wipe. I went to allegro medical and looked at their wipers. I found one called the bottom buddy, it wasn't long enough, so I found another one called the freedom wand. I bought it from www.freedomwand.com This one worked well, and I was able to take it apart so I could bring it to work. So not all overweight people have trouble wiping, but I did mainly because of my back pain. There are plenty of us who can wipe, and the majority of people I know take very good care of ourselves. So enough with the smell comments. Also my weight is due to steroids that I had to take, and not to overeating.

The best way to wipe your ass fat boy is to buy a dog chain it up near your forklift. Next time mumma lifts your fat ass onto the potty have her untie the dog. when your done backing out mini you, get mumma to lift you into position with the forklift and let rover lick away. P.S have you heard about Jenni Craig she has forklift parking out the front!

It is very simple: a reaching wand. I am about 400lbs and have shorter arms. I just use that with wet wipes and get clean every time. Fat people do not all stink nor are they all lazy. Those making fun should be ashamed; no one goes around making fun of those who undereat or are bulimic. This site is for knowledge not poking fun at others.

This morning I had trouble getting my longish( long for petite, too short for regular)right arm around my backside with out scraping my inner arm against my butt while trying to wipe. When I got to work I weighed myself. No wander I had trouble wiping as I'm now a whopping 139 pounds. I have gained fourteen poends in about 6 weeks. I'm a hefer!
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

This site is very silly. It's about POOP. I mean, c'mon. I'm an immature eleven year old and it's wierd to me. But anyway... I think they might have pretty unhealthy poops. I was watching you are what you eat and the lady wanted to see the fat ladys poop (ewww). Then you could here the lady from out of the bathroom door yelling at the fat lady about how juicy and big and discolored it was.

I am a morbidly obese female, in the range of 500 lbs (Thanks to my husbands fat fetish lol) and I have no problem wiping.

Cowlady, you should be doing something to improve your health instead of indulging your husband's fetishes. The word "morbidly" means just that. Think about it.

Maybe the best way to do it is Sumo Wrestler Style.....get a japanese smart toilet !

To answer an earlier question. No, larger people do not produce larger stool. In all actuality, there stool may actually be smaller than that of someone who eats healthy. Why? Because healthy poops are larger and look like the normal average turd, while MOST not all overweight people are unhealthy eaters and the food they eat is usually high in fat or sugar and comes out as either A.) Diarrhea B.) long skinny turds.

Sorry AC, but yes ALL overweight people are in fact unhealthy eaters. Here's why:

1. Even with healthy food, there is still such a thing as eating too much. Eating more calories than you expend each day leads to weight gain. No getting around that, doesn't matter how healthy the food.

2. Even eating healthfully, they can still consume too high a percentage of acid foods and not enough alkaline foods. Doing this day after day, year after year, leads to depletion of the body's alkaline reserve, and once it's gone the body can't function at a high enough level to flush the rising tide of acid waste. When it can't flush the acid waste, the body stores it safely away from your vital organs in a protective layer of FAT.

3. If they weren't fat before and suddenly gained weight due to taking meds or even recreational drugs, then they didn't adequately compensate in their daily diet for the high amount of acid waste from the drugs. See above regarding what happens when the body can't flush the acid waste.

If you're all drugged up for whatever reason, you should try to eat all alkaline (fruits and non-starchy veggies) for as long as the drugs are in your system.

After that, or if you're fat for other reasons, try eating 4 servings of fresh fruits and vegetables for every 1 serving of protein or carb you eat on a daily basis, and keep carbs separate from proteins at most meals. That's the magic formula for healing your body of almost anything, including being overweight.

Read the book linked below for more information.
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Open your eyes AND your mind to the power of food!
Health via Food (scroll down to read by chapter)

Once, my dad told me that there was this fat guy at his work. He shat and his poop got all over his hands and pants. He didn't wash his hand, left a sh*t trail, and opened a doorknob.
You can guess the rest....

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La la la la la, WIPE!
"Prune juice gives you the sh!its!" -- NR

SemiRegular.....The fact that your profile says you won't be born for another 11 years and you live in a nonexistent city detracts very much from the veracity of your observations, are you ten years old yet? Do you know what veracity means?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I'll buy a tuba and follow you around Jim!