Ask PoopReport: Pain, No Gain?
I guess I'm just now starting to view this site and all you fine people as a valuable resource, as opposed to just a "bathroom humor" site. So here goes:
It's not uncommon for people to keep quiet about strange and/or freaky behaviors they observe with respect to their bodies. They might be embarrassed about it, or they might think that they're the ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD who's doing that and nobody else would understand, so why bother. With me, I just didn't know who to ask and now that I've found you people: problem solved!
I have this annoying problem that is happening a little more frequently the older I get (I'll be 32 in December). Every now and then, I wake up in the middle of the night (anywhere from 2 to 5 am) with an intense pain in my ass. Since I like my sleep, this is about the only thing that can drive me out of bed that early and with such a sense of urgency.
So I go into the bathroom, my dog following right behind me, and we go through the routine that's becoming all too familiar: sit on the crapper for 20 to 30 minutes and, if I'm lucky, drop one or two walnut-sized turds. What's up with that??
I think I've narrowed it down a little so I know when to expect it. It's usually when I eat a whole lot of pasta or other starchy food. And the "intense pain" probably needs some describing -- it's the kind of pain you get when trying to pass a softball-sized turd out your ass. It's not gas or indigestion.
But the most annoying part of the whole deal is the payoff: one or two nugs. After 20 minutes of interrupted sleep, sitting on the crapper, straining and pushing... one or two measly nugs.
Usually I won't even try to go back to bed until I've unleashed one or two farts to relieve the pressure. And very rarely have I been able to completely evacuate myself during one of these Midnight Runs... "Runs" being used very "loosely", as they are anything but. Anybody else have this happen to them? Do you have any information about it? Maybe a medical term for it -- or even better A CURE?!