My 23 year old stepson has done this to me many times. He takes a dump and wipes, then closes the lid, flushes and walks away.
Many a times I have come home after holding my load all day to face the horror of a clogged toilet.
I recently put a 2nd toilet in the basement where my stepson sleeps. He still came upstairs and clogged my toilet!!

What can I do? Nothing. I'm a defeated man.

Mr. Doniker:

Wassamatta you? Kick the 23-year-old shitbum out da house! Or if you gotta soft spot for'm, tell'm to shit in the pot you provided for his lame ass.

Wassamatta him anyway? Is he retarded or just a stoneyhead who can't manage proper toilet etiquette? Does he pay part of the rent or something? What's his contribution besides those toilet-cloggin' dumps?

Sounds to me like it's time for the bumb to hit the road.

Peace and out the door. TH.

First of all, I need to relay the cliche statement of "I was shocked and appalled..." This cliche is the lead of almost every letter to the editor in all newspapers, and one time I wrote my own editorial admonishing the useage of such a phrase. Anyhow, I would definately confront "Bob." He is a turd terrorist who launched an attack on his own family. I would never allow him to use my toilet again if I was you. Ban this man from your home at all costs.

Mr. Turd:

I agree with you 100%.

TH: Wassamatta you? Kick the 23-year-old shitbum out da house!

Doniker: nothing is wrong with me, it's the wife. She won't kick him out.

TH: Or if you gotta soft spot for'm, tell'm to shit in the pot you provided for his lame ass.

Doniker: far from any soft spot. And I put that toilet downstairs for me...to have a place to shit in peace someday if he ever moves out. I also plan on building a bar in the basement when my stepson moves out. But at this rate he may last longer than my liver.

TH: Wassamatta him anyway? Is he retarded or just a stoneyhead who can't manage proper toilet etiquette?

Doniker: maybe and yes.

TH: Does he pay part of the rent or something? What's his contribution besides those toilet-cloggin' dumps?

Doniker: zero rent..no other contribution whatsoever.

TH: Sounds to me like it's time for the bumb to hit the road.

Doniker: you are correct sir...but my wife will throw my ass out before her precious "baby".

Dah... OK! Clean and shiny... Unidentifiable flecks... That reminds me of something... OH YEAH! One time I ate lobster and drank Minute Maid lemonade... It ws lincoln-log hard, HUGE, LONG, clean, shiny, and had little off-white flecks of stuff in it...

Paul

Dear Mr. Jay:

Turn about is fair play. (wink)

But before you make the trip over to your in-laws, make sure and bulk up on copious amounts of roughage and other power-poopin' foodstuffs.

Peace in Recipoopitry. TH.

Your bro-in-law's action definitely calls for some type of response. The problem is how to make him the sole recipient of your retaliation. My first thought was to super glue the lid to the seat on your next visit to his house, just before you left (of course), but that would affect everyone in the house, not just the cowardly offender. I'd be willing to bet that he takes great pride in his toilet clogging prowess, so maybe you could slip him something that would give him the trots for a few days - something that would make solid log formation impossible. It sounds like Jane would probably enjoy the results as well.

Funny you should ask. I just re-upped a thread in the forum from one of our uberpoopers who had this same trouble from his roommate.
Check out the forum. Find a recent post started by Lord of Poop, and read what GRas has to say.

It will change your life, buddy.

My opinion is to give him a toilet plunger for his next birthday or Christmas, all wrapped up real pretty. I sincerely would.

For some reason, I would steal his plunger his shit stick (if he has one). When he can't plunge or cut his logs at home, he might realize what a freakin pain in the ass he is.
Now I'm thinking, was YOUR plunger handy? If he had nothing to chop or plunge with, maybe that's why he left it - as a hint to you!
Also, are you 100% on the kid? Mine have said they're innocent but I found out later about the lies.

Doniker:

Sheesh, man. My sympathies. If I ever start drinking again, I'll raise that first mug in your honor.

Here's hoping you live long enough to build and enjoy that basement bar room, dude. And I hope you're not having to share it with some 48-year-old, gray-haired slob son-in-law by the time it happens for you.

Peace in the Pop-a-top. TH.

Uncle Chunk:

You yourself have used some "cliche statements" in your brief post.

"First of all..." and "Anyhow..."
I personally hate it when people start paragraphs with those two phrases. Even worse would be the dreaded "Anyhoo...."

And, it's usage not "useage". I hope you had the spelling correct in your editorial!

Buddy, if you think you had it bad, what do you think your brother-in-law, then you, put that poor toilet through? Your toilet was forced into swallow every bit of it.

I am afraid I did not use the words anyhow and "usage/useage" in my editorial. Most would agree they would rather hear anyhow than "I am shocked and appalled at this and at that." Read any editorial section in the paper. There is a great likelihood over 50% of the negative editorials start with the above mentioned cliche. And perhaps, Mrs. Jones, you ought to go back to HIGH SCHOOL and realize my above post was in fact, NOT a paragraph but rather a rant-like statement with no grammatical structure. Anyhow, thank you for your observations, I look forward to applying them with frequent useage.

Weird. I just read the editorial section and no "I am shocked and appalled"s.
Perhaps you should go back to high school and realize what a paragraph really is?
Also, I am shocked and appalled at your usage and misspelling of "useage".

That means WAR, go to his place and leav him an "Upper Decker" that should learn him.

Valve toilets (low flush) do conserve water though at the expence of much needed water pressure, but is it worth sacrificing the luxury of an effecient single flush? I don't think so! Install a bigger tank! B.J., you effeminate crybaby.

Clogging toilets is the national pastime in Britain.

In France, guessing people's ethnicity is the national pastime.

I though it was avoiding military service in world affairs.

Now, Di Uhreea had a real good point. Here's what I really think, after reflection, would be the funniest thing to do. Steal his plunger and then steal it like every time he gets a new one.

And, Doniker, my suggestion to you is the next time he clogs the toilet, honestly? Fish it out with a strainer and put it in his bed. And, don't fix the toilets. Give the plunger to your wife. I mean it. Pee outside. Give her the plunger. Be the man. We are all here for you.

Find a Toto Drake toilet, we have had 1 and the kids with huge turds have to stopped it up yet.

Yes, also Kohler toilets and American Standard toilets can do with 1.6 gallons of water what used to take 3.5 gallons. It isn't perfect, but no more than 3 flushes should ever be needed.

o yuck-y-ness

You silly city folk is all tookie over the dumbest damned problems I ever heared of. Damn. Up here in Appalachia we never has no problem with even the gall darn biggest turds ever cloggin up our shitters. Hells bells folks. Whats ch'alls need is to dig you a big old hole out behind the place. Dig it about 7 or 8 foot deep and about three foot around. Then build a little shed over top of it. The shed should be about four foot square and have a door on one side facing a nice view so as you can prop the door open in nice weather and enjoy a good damn crap. Build your seat real sturdy and make it a two-holer so as when you has a family reunion there ain't no big old damn long line to contend with. This works out real good and you can even have two of the fattest, extra-large turd droppers to shit at the same time without cloggin up nothing.

Your friend. Cletus.

hELLO!!!!!!!!! did u ever say any thing to BOB! u should, let him remember the day he clogged ur toilet!

I went to use the can one day at work there in the john lay these huge fuckin turds that would not go down questioning other employees the turds belonged to this woman who was always flirting with the boss the site of those things comming out of her made me gag, thick, huge, corn, peanuts, her x-husband. She bat one time had been blond and probely a bombshell but not anymore....yet she thinks she still is. Anyway the crap would not go down even though I wasn't the janitor abd I did not have to stick my gloved hand in the bowl, I took it upoon myself to pay the bitch back. One day she vshowed up started flirting with the boss, the happily married boss who did not want her around either we just happened to have one of those real bad diseases floating around town we had the C.D.C. Here you know it was deadly I walked right up to her and started gagging, and sneezing apologizing, she was like"Hey!whatdafuckman?" "I'm so sorry I says, I got the stuff, you know the stuff...." "What stuff?" "You know the disease." "Whatthefuckmanwhatayadoingout?" "I was quaneranteed no one would get me water so fuck it man I'm thirsty they said no water, fuck that......" "WWWWWWHHHHAAATTTTYOURNOT EVENSUPPOSEDTOBEOOOUUUTTT!!!!" With that the witch was gone like the wind, no more turds stoppin up our tioliet.

Di is right. Steal his poo chopper. No one should toilet clog without good reason.

Send him a tray of ex-lax brownies

Or put Ex-lax in his coffee. He'll never notice until it's too late.

I say the dude needs to scoop the kid's trophy out with one of his sneakers (23 yo bunghole) and along the same lines as what Daph said----leave said shoe and "trophy" in bed. Don't forget to pull the covers up tight. You don't want that aroma wafting up stairs.

As for BOB---
Get yourself some bubble wrap and a box. Courrier that shit (pardon the pun Har!) to him at work with a friendly note attached on top.

I'm a 15 year old girl with a HUGE appetite. I just clogged the toilet with the biggest log I've ever seen. My Dad taught me to turn the water off to avoid a huge mess when I do this, as I do it often. My body hurts! I feel like I've given birth to a 15lb baby from my ass.

You would really HATE me then BJ, since my teens I have been often dropped whoppers like that and still do, (I did one at home this morning, it stuck in the pan, I will deal with it later, not a problem).

Seriously, were you REALLY "near to tears" on finding this big Jobbie (turd) stuck in the toilet? If so I have to say, Life's Hard! Live with it! Far worse things happen in an average day. Tell me, is freaking out at finding a big turd stuck in a toilet an American thing as we Brits simply don't seem to let it bother us? Shit Happens as they say and in such circumstances someone simply does what is required to remove the log with no fuss.

"The mother log"--LOL! Sounds like it would be a great handle for some Poop Reporter!

B.J., take the Miss Manners approach. Scoop the shit into a shoebox, take it to Bob, and, in the presence of Jane, say, "Bob, I believe you forgot this last time you were at my house?" Or, if you want to be a bit more passive-aggressive about it, collect several days worth of your own turds in a shoebox and leave them in Bob's favorite commode next time you go to his house.

BTW, I have never used the phrase LOL before on this site, but it seemed appropriate here.

I am always kind enough to flush 3 times and plunge if necessary.

Or keep a poo chopper next to the toilet with a sign that reads.

Bob, when you finnish doing your job, chop it up, so other people don't have to view your giant poo.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.