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Ask PoopReport: Put The Seat Down

Posted 03.14.2003 by Tydirium (516)

Dear Poopreport,

Why is it the man's responsibility to put the seat down? They say if we don't put it down, they'll end up sitting in the bowl. What evolutionary mistake caused it so that girls are incapable of looking before they sit?

Dave (11689) -- 03.14.2003

I agree wholeheartedly. If they are so worried about us peeing on the seat because we're too lazy to lift it, why don't they require that the seat be kept up?

patpooperpants (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

Years ago I bought one of those talking toilet novelty toys. I used it on my ex-wife, who laughed hysterically while she sat and peed on my apartment toilet. We both decided to use it at a party we were invited to.

The first two girls took the joke in stride, and being good sports rehooked the gadget to the toilet. Of cousre since we were also doing a great deal of a powedred drug, that was usually placed on mirrors, no one suspected our real reason for hanging out in the host bedroom. As soon as victim number three walked into teh bathroom there were ten of us hanging out by the bathroom door.

"Hey lard butt get off of me!" The machine yelled!

The door flew open, as Genie, a 22-year-old blue eyed prima-donna with a perky cheerleader's figure, hopped out of th bathroom her Chic jeans gathered around her ankles, and her pink bikini panty filling up rapidly with gooey dark brown smelly poop, screaming bloody murder! She then saw the big crowd of drunken and very stoned guests, all laughing at her! Which only angered her even more!

She was so made, that she insisted that her boyfriend kick all of our asses, but he was laughing just as hard and realized there wasn't one of us he could knock around, let alone five strapping young men, and five hysterical women, all of whom secretly didn't like the bitchy former high school cheerleading caption.

So a warning to women, just because the seat is down, doesn't mean the seat is safe.

Dung Poo Chunk (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

It is rather odd that women forget to

check the seat. I ALWAYS do. I guess

men are just a little more particular

about where we plant our naked Asses

Justa Girl (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

The whole seat up, seat down thing is a non-issue for me. If you're so stupid you can't check before you sit, you deserve to fall in. The real issue in our house is the toilet paper... over or under? Everyone knows that over is the superior and preferred position but my husband insists on installing a new roll the wrong way. My solution? 2 TP dispensers... his and hers. It's the little things, people!

Jaid (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

I always put the seat down...but then I have two cats and the image of 'em falling in while "exploring", kinda grosses me out....

a poopy person (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

i really agree with you. women need check the toilet before sitting. it wouldnt hurt for them to look before sitting.

Pooperscooper (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

Some of the most disgusting trashed out bathrooms Ive been in have been women's bathrooms. (I'm a girl). Wet TP on the floor. Piss in the bowl, piss dribblets on the seats. Gross.

When a women's restroom is out of order I will go use the men's bathroom. If the seat was up when I went in, I will put the seat back up when I leave. Common courtesy. My basic rule for any bathroom is if it is clean, leave it as you found it. If its dirty, either do not dirty it up any worse, or (if you have time and inclination) clean up some of the mess before leaving--generates good karma.

Vatfryer (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

Well, damn! Think about all the work we have to do anyway, because you lazy guys can't lift a finger for housework and shit. Is it THAT hard to put the fucking seat down?

Vatfryer's ex-husband (not verified) -- 03.14.2003

Bitch!

professsor man (not verified) -- 03.15.2003

girls have cooties. cooties take over there branes + make them not see the seet.

jeremy (not verified) -- 03.15.2003

I always put the seat and the lid down. It's habit. My thought is: Lid up = open, Lid down = closed. I wouldn't leave my front door open after I used it, so I don't leave the toilet open after I use it. Why is it there, if it's not supposed to be used?

corncob (not verified) -- 03.15.2003

I don't think the issue is so much that a woman might fall in, due to not looking... I guess that would only be a problem if you were using the toilet at night and hadn't bothered to turn on the lights or something. i would be more annoyed at having to put my hands on the underside of the toilet seat in order to lower it. and since guys are presumably washing their hands afterwards anyways (right? :P) it shouldn't be that bad to just lower the seat.

noshitsherlock (not verified) -- 03.15.2003

we've had a real problem with this where I am living right now. we always have male friends over (frequently overnight), so the toilet seat is frequently left up. My take on it -- it's a house of all women so the seat should be down. A house of all men, leave it up and the women visitors can put it down as needed. Divided house, go with the majority rule (next year, 2 girls, 1 guy, so left down). At least, that's my take on it.

Vatfryer (not verified) -- 03.15.2003

Ah, I see that my "ex-husband" is a sexist. Also a coward. Interesting.

sara (not verified) -- 03.16.2003

its a numbers thing. More girls in the house, put the seat down, more boys in the house, put it up. I was raised in a house with 3 girls and 1 guy, where that rule was used. Then later on in life I lived with two guys, and I put the seat back UP when I was through. Its only fair, I was outnumbered.

idea man (not verified) -- 03.18.2003

heres an idea why dont we just not have a seat and the girls pee standing up i mean hey it is easier

tooter (not verified) -- 03.20.2003

i (male) put both seat and cover thing down after using the shitter. wtf i don't want to stare into the damn thing when I go in there which might not even be to use it and see someones trouser chili in there which didn't get sucked down. Though if youre such a retard you actually fall into a toilet b/c you didn't look, you deserve it.

And as for the over-under thing. It's gotta be over. Under makes no sense and results in extra arm travel distance to the paper.

eh (not verified) -- 03.21.2003

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me. Then I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too!

Juan (not verified) -- 01.03.2004

Who the fuvk cares ! Morons !

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 01.04.2004

I always check before I sit down, and I only do THAT to poo. When I pee I stand up anyway so who gives a damn. It's not really an issue in our house because my dad is too fat to see it, so he doesn't stand up anymore. However, I look at the seat because he leaves sweaty assprints. I don't even know what the gray jelly he leaves is, but I assume it's sweat slime. Ew! Anyway, this is why I am moving out.

Sitting Wiper (not verified) -- 09.13.2004

What annoys me most about women is that sometimes they leave the seat down, but don't put the lid down. If everybody, regardless of gender, put both the seat and the lid down, there could be no argument.

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 10.22.2004

I agree with your, Sitting Wiper.

APPLIX (not verified) -- 03.16.2005

I think that women should have to raise the seat when they're done so that we don't have to worry about doing it

queenbee (not verified) -- 07.13.2005

You put it down so she doesn't dump your pooping ass, and because it's supposed to be down. You're supposed to put the lid down too. That way you don't drop stuff besides shit in there like your razor or toothbrush. That's why it has a lid. Duh.

Plus every lady likes a man who sits to pee 'cause there's no splashback, and we don't want to waste our time yelling at you to lick up the splashback you left.

PENIS (not verified) -- 08.09.2005

squeezing rubber duckies calms me.

healthy 1 (1427) -- 09.23.2006

I am mixed. It is a courtesy to put the seat down for the women in our lives. I sit down to pee, so I don't have to worry. But, why do the women make a federal case over somthing so frivilous as a guy forgetting to put the seat down. Don't women look before they sit?
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

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