I've never, ever thought about replacing my toilet seat. It's nice, tough porcelain -- shows no signs of wear and tear. Well, I mean the underside is occasionally wiped free of poo speckles, but other than that it's doing pretty OK.

I suppose if I had a large family, and we all had stubbly asses that wore away the porcelain finish, I might consider replacing the seat. But I don't. My seat is just fine.

I have only thought to replace one when remodeling or if it has broken.
Unless it is one of the cushiony, soft ones that can crack, I think that bi-weekly cleaning of the bathroom takes care of any hygiene problems that one might encounter.
Brown Trouser, what other reason do you feel is good enough to change out a toilet seat? I know that when they get wobbly, it drives me nuts, but that can be fixed. I'm curious as to your thoughts.

I don't replace a toilet seat, unless the mounting tabs crack, a stain will never go away, or the soft stuff makes me wonder... (I never use soft seats)

However, my mom will replace anything, when a random urge to redecorate hits. The reason our house has water saving toilets is because mom wanted more style, and the urge came at random.

I feel that Lysol does a good engough job at destroying ass germs.

I was not aware that any one replace toilet seats unless they were broken. What is the purpose? I have had to replace a few toilets becaust they broke. One of them fell apart as I was sitting on it but that is for a future poop story.

It's true they don't make toilet seats like they used to, but they shouldn't have to be replaced THAT often. If every toilet visit for you is an extreme emergency, perhaps you sit down with a WHUMP!!! and that makes stress fractures in the seat. Short of that, a disinfectant once a week (barring explosive episodes) should be enough to keep you safe.

wow, yet another thing about toilets that has never occured to me. I have never even thought of replacing a seat.

Hmmm. How intriguing.

The only time I have had to buy a toilet seat was after my brother in law had a long session on my toilet last time he came to visit. He appologised for the crack that appeared on the seat. I can only assume the trip to my toilet was urgent and he sat down with a whallop!

There are only a few reasons to replace the toilet seat.

1. You move into a new house and the toilet seat is uncomfortable. So you buy a comfortable one.

2. You are remodeling and the toilet seat doesn't match the rest of the bathroom.

3. The toilet seat breaks somehow. I had one that used to pinch my ass when I sat on it. We threw it out.

4. It is stained and nasty. Your guests may wonder otherwise.

Other than these conditions, don't bother.

The toilet seat here was changed after 45 years use. The seat had cracked making a perilous journey for those seated. I avoid the spongy toilet seats because they sometimes fall forward during a standing piss. The padded seats are nice on the butt though. My biggest obstacle changing the toilet seat was the nut and bolt assembly. The original seat was pre-plastics era. The nuts and botls were made of steel. 45 years of bathroom humidity had rusted the threads completely. It took over an hour and a sharp hacksaw blade to cut through the rusty combination. The new toilet seat has a plastic nut and bolt assembly and life is much easier.

I've cracked a couple of toilet seats in my time, too- and I only weigh 210. Once I was sitting down very gently....and it just "gave". Those have been the only two times in my 42 years that I've needed to replace a toilet seat. (Sometimes though, I got one "automatically" by moving to a new place). I guess they don't make 'em like they used to- it's only been in recent years that I've had them crack under me.

I'm going to be replacing one of my toilets soon, though- with an uncloggable, high-volume one! (We'll see how true their claims are.....I'll be sure and write a review)

Damn, dude, what the hell you doing to your seat? You're s'posed to drop your pizzle in the bowl, not on the seat, man. The Skidster personally waxes his throne's seat once a week and buffs it to a shine, so's his potty's always a sweet ride. And when the Skidster's just makin' his bladder gladder, he always checks the seat after to make sure he didn't spray it. That stuff's all corrosive, you know. Also, I'm a skinny little white dude, so I don't put much W&T on it, homes.

Skidster out.

Let me know how it works, General. My parents are seriously thinking of changing their cheap, low-flow toilets with better models. Ones that actually flush.

Will do, SV! (Your earlier remark about the seat pinching your ass was hilarious!)-I'm almost afraid toi replace the toilet- the new one costs over $200. and I keep thinkin', iffin it don't work any better than the old....I'll be pissed!(pun intended!). (Sometimes my plans just don't flush....neither do my turds!)

Hey Marky Skids! As they say in the vernacular: "Turd up!". (That is what they say...isn't it?)

Yo Skid, don't be a spraya haytah.

Sometimes the seat can be inappropriate for the toliet at hand. Years ago, my wife to be and I shared a studio apartment. This place did have one luxury amenity. Given the thick 'n' sticky downspout streakers I leave behind, I have zero patience for those two gallon Al Gore specials. Those hippies can just suck my balls because when I flush my toliet terrorizers I expect it to be gone in one flush...well maybe three if it was extra nasty and took several yards of TP to clean up. Just how ecologically sound is a 2 gallon toliet that has to be flushed ten times anyway?

We had a pressurized toliet just like all fine retail store restrooms. This thing sucked my thickest stickiest mud with ease...I still left swirly streaks in it though. Our high pressure toliet had one thing no Wal-Mart or prison toliet ever had. It had a soft vinyl/foam seat with a flat bottom (this is important later). Now the wife and I must both have the habit of evacuating with our legs slightly spread because we never had a problem with our plushy turbo toliet. We usually didn't flush sitting down either.

One of my buddies came over and brought his girlfriend. Of course, she asked if she could use the toliet. No problem we said and I got back to visiting with my bud. A few minutes later, this bloodcurdling scream came out of the throne hall and my friend ran to his girlfriend's rescue. We heard a grunt and then a sound like Saran Wrap coming off the roll. Then my friend came out giggling his ass off. Apparantly, this girl is one of those people who squeeze their thighs together to shove one out. She reached around the back and tripped the flush still seated that way. The suction pulled her at least a few inches into the seat! For some reason she never wanted to use our bathroom again........

*ATTENTION* Metal Toilet Bolt Removal Tip!
Having been in maintenence in another life for quite some time I had to deal with many a stubbornly crusted toilet bolt. Here is a way to cut down the removal time; even cut out the hacksaw...no pun intended. Simply take a pair of vice grips and adjust the end to a slightly smaller radius than the toilet bolt head, clamp it onto the top of the bolt head and 'squeeze' until it clamps closed; unclamp the vice grips and adjust the clamping radius a little smaller. Repeat this action until the head is small enough to push through the hole. It should only take about five minutes and you never have to worry about busting the porcelain. Hmmm, maybe I should write Heloise with that hint!

That sounds good, TSV. I was reading some reviews at terrylove.com that indicate that a premium grade 1.6 Gallon works as well as many classics.

Of course, you can still buy high flow models in Canada, and sneak them here.

I like that. "Now for the international news. A young man was apprehended for attempted toilet-smuggling today at the US - Canadian border. Suspicions arose from the bowl-shaped lump bulging out of his backpack. No charges have yet been pressed by Canadian officials."

Ooo, toilet smuggling! Something else to add to my permanent record. He he he!

Hmm

Why were the Cops pissed when their throne got stolen?

They had Nothing to Go on!

Badabing!

Poopoopeedoo, thanks for the rusted bolt tip. All the toilets here now have plastic hardware. It's a far cry from the barnacle-like fixture that once hung from below the seat.

I have a million of 'em! I had worked on those things for years and have been frought with just about every imaginable hardware scenario you could think of. Maybe we should have an' "ask the maintenence person' column of this site. Once I even pulled out a plastic bird cage liner bottom that catches crap; that means I pulled a crapper out of a crapper!

Replace it when it gets stained or cracked I'd say....I once dated a man who must've shitted orange, because one time we bought a new fancy toilet seat, and it mysteriously had a orange stain on the back that wouldn't come off, he tried to tell me we bought it like that, however the second toliet seat in the house also was marked with the same stain in the same spot. anyone know how to get orange shit that stains the best of toilet seats? I sure dont.

Poopula, my dad has the same problem, except it ends up on the front of the seat. I've always called his orange stains penis prints.

I Like the Soft Toile Seats. I well Tell you buy the best one oyu can. It matters every est is made better Low End and Cheap. I brought enice seat in Home Depot Called Bemis. Thes best seat around and built well. I like th epaddigna dn comfot in the seats that are soft. Keep in mind ia m Puerto Rican I sit down set gets warm in no time Warm. I am war blooded Puerto Rican...

poop will soon take over you fools!

Hmm, I just clean mine...I've never even thought to replace it, unless we buy the cutesy ducky one. Every 6 months? Sounds a bit extreme but whatever pleases your butt. I would say you should do it once a year if you must do so and just clean it often. Don't want to FLUSH your money down the DRAIN! Hehe. Had to throw that in, lol. Now I must return to my oh so boring class.

A fellow poo poo head,
MAGULA!

I replaced my toilet seat one time when my fat assed brother broke it clean in two and left shit stains all over it. That was the only time though.

Who is your brother, Jabba the Hut? That's disgusting! And hilarious!

In the many, many years we have been married, we have replaced the toilet seats about 6 times. Why? Because my husband manages to break them with, what I call, his Kung-Fu Ass.

a partial split in a plastic seat can open up when you sit down then close \when you start to get back off the seat. this can nip flesh painfully or trap hairs and rip them out when you stand up. however this is not as bad as removing a piece of chewing gum accidentally tangled in your underarm hair.

We never replace toilet seats unless they become defective. The longest I have seen a toilet seat last was at my parent's house. They bought the toilet new in 1958, the seat lasted until about 2000, when the paint began to peel of of the seat.
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Born to clog your bog, with a giant log.