Ask PoopReport: Typical Poop Size?

// // 143 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Dear Poopreport,

For a school project, what would you say the average mass of a load of
poop is? We're talking about adults here, not little babies. What do you
think poop weighs when it comes out?

143 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: Typical Poop Size?"

Drop Box's picture

This site is classic. Some great material here :)

Frank2401's picture
l 100+ points

You can easily use a common bathroom scale to first weigh yourself, then poop in the toilet, weigh yourself again and calculate the difference.
This way you won't have to risk contaminating a postal scale.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

PD, I think shipping poop is against the law unless the shipper is a medical lab or something similar. Some people have a simple scale at home to verify that a package or letter doesn't weigh too much for the postage applied.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

MSG, we currently have a PR who has access to one of the finest high tech postal scales. Not only can he weigh one for you, but he can also tell you how much it will be to ship it almost anywhere in the free world. I suggest you contact him.

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

Size shouldn't matter. It's the thought that counts!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I have MSG. I weighed baby poop, for 5 whole years, on a scale!
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

As far as I can tell, no one has yet actually WEIGHED a typical bowel movement. Someone, please try this: Get a container you would be willing to poop in, weigh it on a postal scale that gives ounces, record that weight. Then poop in that container and weigh it again, subtract the container weight, and you have the weight of your poop. Then report here.

I'd do it, but am short of containers to use for such a purpose . . . I still estimate more than 8 oz. a day for my production.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

As long as you can flush it without having to break it up with another family member's toothbrush, it's not too big.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

16 year old girl....Dear God....I pray that you have a skinny forearm. If my anus were as big as my forearm I could easily insert 2 liter drink bottles.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

16 year old girl's picture

Well, I am a 16 year old female in high school and I usually only poop once a week. However, throughout my life I've had a problem with constipation so my poops are always hard, wide, long and knobby and it always hurts so bad. On average I would say they are about the width of my forearm!

scb's picture

I normally go every day. Earlier this week, I realized it had been 5 days since I had gone poop. I was constipated.....and was I ever. I took a stimulant laxative, and that made me really go. I wondered when it was going to stop coming. I swear it must have been at least 3 feet long. I took the pill at 9pm, and at about 6:30am I WENT BIG TIME. Now I am regular again. Thank goodness.

Postman's picture
k 500+ points

I just finished dropping my load for the day. It was about 16 to 18 inches long, about an inch and a quarter in diameter, and I would guess it weighed about 2 pounds. At least thats how much lighter I felt afterward.

prarie doggin's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatorg 4000+ points

If I had to guess, I would say mine average about 6-8 inches in DIAMETER. Unfortunately they are only about 1/2 inch long.

mnga's picture

I go about every other day. Usually they are about 10-12 inches in length and 1-1.5 inches in diameter. About once a month, it is one incredibly massive, coiled, long log. If I relax (there's not much else to do while im pooping), it stays in one piece and coils up. Today I had one of those poops that I thought was never gonna end. Normally it takes about 1 or 2 minutes for me to go poop. When I have to do a real massive poopie, it takes 20 minutes(sometimes longer), and I'm not kidding. I'm so glad I never have to strain when I poop. I can just sit and relax.

MSG's picture
Comment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points

I followed most of this thread, wondering how far off track it would get. Thanks to those who brought it back. I read someplace that the average poop weighs 6 to 8 oz., which sounds a little light to me. I don't have a scale that I wish to put poop on, but I may try someday to weigh a typical load. I used to do hard, long (8-12" or more), thick (1.3" to 1.7") turds that probably weighed more than 8 oz.; now I do several softer, thinner ones. I suspect my volume produced is similar, though it now looks and feels different than before I went on the high-water diet. I do wish someone would accurately research a good average size for a b.m. It would be fun to know how I rank. Statistic to ponder: if all the 6,000,000,000+ people on earth poop 8 oz. a day, that's 3,000,000,000 pounds, or 1,500,000 tons!

Miss Simone Scat's picture
k 500+ points

barnes, Did the Dr. tell you it was safe to give a six year-old laxatives? Not sure that is safe.
Producing waste since 1967

Producing waste since 1967

barnes's picture

My six year old daughter gets constipated on occasion. She went one week without going poop. I gave her a laxative. One hour later, IT WORKED. She had the biggest poopie I have ever seen. She went poop twice, and each time it was about 2.5 feet long and 1.5 inches in diameter. I never imagined that from a 6 year old. My mom told me that when I was her age, I used to be the same way.

josb's picture

I poop about every other day..usually its one nice long log anywhere from 12-36 inches... once in a while,they fill the bowl. Today, it curled around the toilet about 3 times and stayed in one piece.

Colton's picture

I usually poop once every 1 1/2 weeks I know I'm not constipated because the stools are too large. plus I drink plenty of water so I guess that's normal for me.

Anonymous Coward's picture

How long is the perfect poop? If I gotta good magazine, bout an hour and a half. Less if my ass goes numb.

healthy 1's picture
j 1000+ points

I like your comment Log Jam. My poop is usually 8 to 10 inches long, and 1.25 to 1.75 inches thick. I only go one time a day. I read somewhere that an average turd weighs around 100g, I have a ferocious metabolism (I have a similar body type to the thread above). I eat my 3 squares, and about 4 or 5 healthy snacks a day. My poop is not hard, but very firm, dense, and well packed. I would guess that my poop is a bit heavier than average, probably about 125g to 175g. The solidity and density makes my poop harder to flush, my poop gets packed solid enough so it doesn't break easily.
_______
Jammin' lo'flo's since 1977.

"Two percent of the population think; three percent of the population think they think, and 95 percent of the population would rather die than think."

Jenny from Chicago's picture

I've always felt my poops were probably bigger than others, but now I think I feel a little less self-conscious. I am taller than average, thin with a fast metabalism and eat normally (3x a day, with maybe some snacks..I eat some meat but not tons). My poops are normally 8-10 inches if they do not break coming out...that is probably once a day..If I go more than a day or so they don't get any bigger, just usually stinkier. I think pooping is just a normal part of everyones life we have to deal with

Ben's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Jobber,

12 to 16 inches long, 2 1/2 inche wide!!! In your dreams!!!

Double Flush's picture
k 500+ points

Mine is either 5 or 6 little pieces, a large torrent of LiquiShit™, or somewhere around 8 to 10 inches of a formed turd. It depends on my diet and whether or not I hold it.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

[Insert witty banter here]

GottaGoGirl's picture
i 2000+ points

This thread was SUPPOSED to be about the MASS of various peoples' poop. It's an interesting question, but we're off track.

If you have a question about constipation or blood or mucus or whatever, please browse through the Poo Nurse titles and see if you don't find a thread addressing your problem. If you feel you have a unique problem never before addressed here, please email Dave, and maybe he can post your question in a separate thread.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, the question on the table is: How big is your average poop?
_______
Santa Caca!

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

FP, what were you just saying about freaks?

derek's picture

i shit like 2 times a week and they are wider than the fucken hole to go down and about 6 inches long and it hurts like hell

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

It's nice for some regulars to add some actual information, thus breaking up the continuous stream of idiots. Plus, hidden in here are a few choice words of wisdom now and then.


_______
Politicians- the world's #1 source of #2!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Fart Poopie's picture
j 1000+ points

Dumspter, I think I can speak for TSV when I say that most of the regulars don't want to bother with the large traffic of freaks on these threads.

If you have a different idea, TSV, please post it. ;)

The Dumpster's picture
i 2000+ points

TSV, why are you and I the only site regulars who seem to turn up on these wierd threads?

poopy the monkey's picture

Why does it hurt when i poo?And when i do poo it usually comes out in tiny little rabbit pellets with blood on the TP, hurting like hell.Also, when it comes out it feels like tiny spikes are all over it(VERY PAINFUL).But i only poo like once every other day.If anyone has an idea to help me out I'd appreciate it.

Ben's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

After missing two morning exits due to a bad cold, IT finally made an appearance half an hour ago!!! What a relief. Though the initial turds(three thick ones) required slight pushing, the rest came out like mud slide.

The first one has that wonderful butt stretching feeling without pain. Didn't fall out due to its width but not too hard. Nor was it smelly due to my vegetable soup diet.

Frozen Poopsicle's picture

yo sometimes i have to stay home from school just to poop. i poop all day. i dont even gut up from the can. this only happens like 1 per 2 months but still. i dont know whats up. any comments??

the poopman's picture

this site is the fuckin bomb u guys are so fuckin funny and for u little fuckin retards bitchin bout this site sayin its gross dont read it u fuckin dumbshit, if u dont think this is funny ure out of your mind. this is the best site ever!

dkcpoop's picture

i need to go ill tell you in a minute my size

Dan

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points

Grossed Out probably eats his own poop anyway, so he doesn't belong here.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Jobber's picture

"Grossed Out" you are welcome to your opinions. How do you know that many of us do NOT have hobbies? as these are not relevant to this website we don't mention them. This is a poo orientated website, this thread is about poo, what's the problem. If the Moderator doesn't like it he will delete or block a thread.

As for your remarks about psychiatrists, a phoney pseudo science and thankfully it is ignored or treated by contempt by most Brits.

Grossed Out's picture

Gawd, all yall need to get hobbies. And then you need to go see docs, and after that really good shrinks. I'm serious. There's sumthing wrong with all y'all. If ur crap isn't doin right then u need to go see doctors. And then u need to go see shrinks so u can stop thinking about holding it in for the fun of it, or being disgusting and eating it. Thats all I got to say.

Jobber's picture

With me it's a matter of the bigger the better. I really enjoy passing a nice solid turd or jobbie as the Scots call it, of about 12 inches in length and 2 1/2 inches fat and do pass such logs quite often. If I miss a day which happens from time to time I will do one longer than that , sometimes 16 inches long or so. On other occasions if constipated it will come out as some fat balls like potatoes then one or two fat logs, and occasionally if will pass a long easy curved sausage or two if I go first thing in the morning, my usual time to have a dump being after lunch about 12 noon to 1.00pm.

Thankfully I very seldom have loose mushy poos or diarrhea, a fact I put down to not drinking a lot of alcohol especially not British beer (Bitter) which owing to the amount of malt and hops it contains can have a very laxative effect, and also avoiding hot and and spicy foods such as curries, chilli , Taco Bell etc, and eating a very bland and meat based diet and not many vegetables nor fruit.

I enjoy having a good solid poo, and preferably into the toilet pan or possily outdoors on the ground or grass if in the courntryside but not into my underwear.

red and brown's picture

Sometimes my poop is red and brown
Oh yes it really does make me frown
After I take it I always look down
To see my poopy that is red and brown
I really do like that sound
When you watch your poopy spin around
Off in the sewers my poop can be found
That big juicy poopy that is red and brown!!!!

Just a Regular Dude's picture

Like to leave my poos in interesting places, so I rarely crap in the toilet. I like to shit onto a piece of cling-film and then put it into a supermarket bag and take it somewhere interesting and leave it.

My poops are usually quite solid and brown packed with undigested corn and they look pretty good on the face of it. I like to take one to the public pool and unwrap it when nobody's looking and wander off. You usually hear a few noises after a minute or so, from that corner of the pool.

I attend a local spa and sauna, and have left them on the seatbench in the sauna, and also on the hot rocks, which really gets that smell permeating throughout the complex and leads to a massed walkout.

Any shop where I get bad service will have the staff arriving to work in the morning to find a nice fresh turd on their doorstep - it's far more effective than complaining.

Sometimes I will carry a turd around in my bag all day looking for a good place to deposit it. Like telephone boxes, leaving one on a bus seat, in the aisle at the local supermarket or maybe in a shopping trolley, and if someone has left their window open on a parked car.

Rae'Layne's picture

i only go poop like 2-3 times a week n sometimes i eat alot other times i don't eat very much...mi poop is normally in like little balls and sometimes mi butt bleeds is that bad?...

Anonymous Coward's picture

wtf. i usually have no problem taking ashit but here recently like the pat 3 time i have taking a shit i have bleed and i am concerned and dont know what to do. if you can help me please post an answer.

bob slider's picture

this website is shite

Jay's picture

I really like pooh, my favorite poohs are the messy squelchy ones that really smell bad!
Sometimes I even do poohs that need about three or four flushes, there the best aswell!
Don't you hate it when you do a reet wet one and your finger slips through the paper, finger lickin good!

philip's picture

small poo's once a day, one massive 3 lb poo once a week. turds are tapered to keep our buttholes from slamming shut!

none of your buisness's picture

i only poop like once a week if im lucky. well lately anyway usually it would be more often and i have to ppush before hand just to get it to come. is it a problem? and i mean its not a lot its like one little three inch thing that doesnt seem to be a whole weeks worth of food? where did it all go? i think im similar to that chick mo...whatever. to all you people having pooping problems...why dont you just take some laxatives???...thats what theyre made for

the one who cant shite or fart just like bart's picture

i have not been able to shit for a whole week and i can feel it throbing and building up inside me doctor gave me some sick looking pills and to open up my bowels but its doin f all can anyone help e-mail me peace out

Captain Trumpet's picture

I don't know what is for dinner tonite but it smells a bit poopy..

Ben's picture

For those who brag about 14 inch logs. The question is how many days worth of shit was stored inside before it got let out. 14 inches is impossible for one day old shit unless you have an appetite of a horse.

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