Ask PoopReport: Typical Poop Size?

// // 143 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
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Dear Poopreport,

For a school project, what would you say the average mass of a load of
poop is? We're talking about adults here, not little babies. What do you
think poop weighs when it comes out?

143 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: Typical Poop Size?"

Dave's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content Moderatora 10000+ points - Super Pooper
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Mine are typically about 6-8 inches long, and 1-1.5 inches in diameter. I don't know too much about the density of a poop, so I can only try to eyeball how much it weighs, but I'd guess it's between one and two pounds on average.

I'd say I take in a pound on any given meal... so I think it's reasonable to think a meal's worth of poop is what, 3/4 of a pound? And if a poop is more than one meal, then 1.5 pounds seems reasonable...

Alex's picture
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i dont know why, but i barely every poop compared to most. i poop maybe 3-4 times a week on average, and i'm wondering, where the hell does the food go? i eat a lot, im not exactly obese, yet i never shit.

Skiddy Poo's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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I would say that my healthy poops might be about 250 grams. I regularly have smaller poops that are 50 gram pellets.

Adam's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Darn... My turds are 1-2 feet long!!! Their stinking cobras! Heh, my secret is to try and relax while you poop. It doesnt break apart as easily... ;-)

poopy poopy  in my pants's picture
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i poop like 3-4 times adaY ANDTHATS Y MY BUTT ALWAYS HURTS IT WEIGHTS LIKE 10 PUOND PER DAY!!!

Ol' Thunder's picture
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I'm a rodeo bull, and all that jumpin' and buckin' around always seems to shake something loose in my gut, because after I get done stompin' on some idiot cowboy I've always gotta go make brownies. Or pies, in my case. I'd estimate I drop between 12-18 pounds every time, but I've never taken the time to verify.

Goda Gooma's picture
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I've got such big turds, it scares me. Sometimes, it takes me two hours to finish shitting because itz so big that i have to push so hard, my ass bleeds.

Billy's picture
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If it is that hard for you to poop, you are either consitipated, dehydrated, or both. Try drinking a quart or two of water per day and eating some prunes with each meal. You will poop like nobody's business.

Chip Brown's picture
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Two words, OAT MEAL.

Regula's picture
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Goda Gooma, try switching to a vegetarian diet, trust me, you'll be shitting with ease and frequently due to the extra fiber.....and drink lots of water.

Matt's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i recently went to the bathroom. Before I took care of buisness i weighed myself. I was 208 pounds. During my adventure a lot of poop came out. My finishing weight was 206.5 pounds. Thus, The Poop weighed 1.5 pounds. Pretty normal for me

CannonFodder's picture
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Dave...I am finally glad you addressed my question.

However...it is really hard for me to say because i usually drink so much beer that solid shats are very rare. Also, I take 3-5 good loads a day so i can't really say. Maybe 1 pound of liquid poo everyday?

Jaybowel's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Chip: "oatmeal" is one word. ;)

El Poopo's picture
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It is a very interesting question... for this next week i will unload on my scale, and hope that i don't get any cases of diarhea.

Beth's picture
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I hardly ever poop. Maybe 2-3 times a week...

My fiance goes 15 minutes after he eats every time.

Mo's picture
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I hardly ever poop andI eat normal amounts for a girl I guess, so I wonder...where does allmy poop go? Does it get absorbed back into my body? When I do poop...maybe once a week, it is a little skinny poop. Thats it. usually once every 2 months i take a massive crap that fills the bowl...i think maybe all my shit gets stuck in my intestines and backs up into my stomach until my body decideds that it needs to evacuate the turds or succumb to certain death. I've been diagnosed with colonic inertia or slow colon transit so I think think thats why I crap so infrequently. Once I lost 4, as in four pounds after a massive dump (I was constipated for 29 days and FINALLY went).

engorged starfish's picture
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They say everybody has a prehistoric turd lodged somewhere in the colon from all the years of eating meat and that it is a good idea to colon cleansing, gonna have to try it sometime.

One day I am at a retirement home to visit an elderly friend and of course there are grey haired men and women strewn about the hall ways in wheelchairs and inching their way around with walkers. So this one old lady making her way down the hall slips on somebody's piss puddle. Her four legged cane goes flying thru the air, she falls and breaks a hip and lets out a yelp at the same time thats sounded like a dog with his balls caught in a bear trap and out flies from this decrepit old lady's bowels a pitch black 24" long 3" around godzilla loaf. The g-d damn thing looked like a policeman's nightstick.

sean brown's picture
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yea when i poo it squirts out so hard that its a mixture with blood, water, and shit. that happens everytime, i have a fucking camel toe on my asshole because of this. Then whenever i have anal sex the guys dick gets all brown and bloody and then i shit all over him and the walls then i got on a shitting rampage and shit blood on everyone in site and open their mouths and shit in their mouths and get blood all over them!!!! YEA!!!

Stephanie Poopskin's picture
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Hello my good friends, im in need of help. When i shit, i shit blood as red as red wine. When my man fucked me up the but i got some kind of ass blood std. How do i get rid of it ? What do i do? I also drink urine and im addicted to it help me please !!

Russ Daniels's picture
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My shit is underaverage compared to the rest of you. My only problem is that my Girlfriend likes to get shit on, so she is never satisfied. She likes the big turds from the normal guys. Most of my shit is in the fart format.. My roommates is huge... help?

damn's picture
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I havent tooken a long load in years,I usually get little shits.

Mr. Anonymous Dood's picture
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Well people, I shit like 2 times a week at most 3 times... at least once. When I read that some of you shit like 3 times a day.. I thought damn! Nastyness... hahahahaha.

engorged starfish, I loved your little story about the retirement home... I almost shit my pants laughing when I read that... I'm sure it was gross and yet very humorous at the same time... lol! Id probably start cracking up if that ever happened... :D

Steve's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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My friend, we shall call him John, recently told me he had one that was 18" long. Unforunatly he did not have a witness.

Anon's picture
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All you fucking freaks are disgusting, especially the slobs who get ass-fucked with a bloody ass. The bitch that drinks pee is a nasty whore. Where do you find such asses such as yourselves???? Shit on that!

Tommy's picture
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alls i hav to say is, don't go in the bathroom for a day or two

Joe's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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when i poop i use at least half of the TP. My mom always getting mad at me

Pepsi's picture
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this is soo funny, me and my friend are sitting here cracking up laughing soo hard!!! hahahaaah lmaoooo... sorry for the rude laughter, but yea, i also have a problem... i poop fine, but when i wipe theres blood! wtf!

Luke's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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yesterday, i was pushing so hard, i mean sooo hard, i formed another whole in my ass... why?!!?!?! btw it hurt like shit

Sir Joseph Dirte's picture
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yeah, uhhh i have a problem. I call up walmart (EXTRA CHEAP PRICES) and they think im retarded. Most people have a over active bladder, but no...i get an overactive shitwhole. they have nothing for my problem.

remember that commercial on snl about OOPS! i crapped my pants. they made that about me! any answers?!?!

Dusty Nutz's picture
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I have a bad problem when it comes to shitting. At the time of this writing, its been 17 days since I have shit. I hate this problem...I put my life on hold for the last few days before I shit. I don't feel like doing nuthin. I have these horrible ass pains probably due to roids but I don't think so. I have been to the doctor multiple times...they wanna do surgery but I don't want it. Its more of a psychological problem over anything. I have shit turds as long as my arm and I DO have have proof of it too. I recirded my turd and was size comparing it. They are also bout as big as a baseball or bigger is circumference. I hate enemas so I don't take them. Also after being constipated like this I have a trouble with pissing too. I wish I was just normal. So post some stuff on my problem or email me if you have any professional answers. Ohh by the way I'm only 17. Thanks.

noyb's picture
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well i'm here i had went to poop earllier today and it hurt so much dat i just couldn't and stopped till my ass came down and didn't wanna shit no more i tried to shit like an hr ago and it hurt when i threw a fart it hurt badly i'm so scared it never hurt like dis b4 . i even prayed to God . and i'mma leave evrtyhng to him.

thats my correction oh and if anyone has an adivce plz let me know .

Jason's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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i poo and it rips my ass.

sheila's picture
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silent but deadlies

Ryan's picture
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my poop is big!

Donald Gunther's picture
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Guys, yesterday I pooped and it felt strange so I turned around to look at it. It was very bloody, and I assumed it was a very large blood clot. It had a pulse. It looked like it was about to leave the bowl and I stopped it and asked it what its name was. He said: I'm Rob Nelson. So I said Hi. I am very worried. Rob eats a lot, and I can't afford to keep feeding him. Anyone intersted in a roommate?

colin hunter's picture
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i poop about 1-2 times daily. i heard from the lady who give cholonics(sp?) that if you dont poo between 2-3 daily you are probably not digesting well.

Perfect Poop's picture
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All of your poop problems will go away if you become a vegetarian. Meat makes your poop hard which makes you constipated. Also if you find that your poop is to watery while eating veggies and fruit eat more starch (potato, breads etc.) It takes me 30 sec or less no pushing to poop and my poops rang from 5 inched to 10 inches or so. Perfect texture and no ass ripping or bleeding. My poop is just perfect. :)

tasha's picture
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im sorry but that "rob nelson story" is to damn funny for words ok!

tird master j's picture
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i think that pooh smells so good! if i could i would roll around every hot girls tird in the whole world. and if i am in the moud i might even eat some that is if i am in the moud.

Peter's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Usually 12 inches long and 2 1/2 inches thick, tapering to a point. Knobbly and compacted,mid brown in colour, not too much smell. I normally have a motion every other day. If i go two days its as thick but longer. My jobbies often stick in the toilet pan and wont flush away. I often have to throw a bucket of water or two down to shift it or push it over the bend with a stick.

kumar's picture
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Friends I would like to let out my business secret today. My biscuts are actually made of fresh poops mixed with lots of sugar and flavour. My production cost is low and it the 3rd world folks just love my poop biscuts.....

careSXEbear8319's picture
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i poop about 6 times a week. it is long, juicy and fills up the whole toilet. is something wrong with me?

colonic inertia's picture
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i understand your small amount its not a funny matter but rather painfull. the solution to your dilema is removal of your colon. i too have been offered this solution. searching for help can be a constipating .

peek a boo poo's picture
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Removal of the colon?! Yikes! Usually I only poop once a week if that, but lately I've been pooping at least 4-5 times a week, and it feels like I'm pushin a freakin watermelon out of my ass!!! It's bled 5 out of 6 times, and hurt 6 out of 6 times! I don't eat hardly any meat, and If I do it's sandwich meat...

Rachael's picture
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This is the most diturbing thing i have ever read!!! 2ft. long craps are massive!!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Someone in my household just did a shit that she claims was over two feet long. It curled around the bowl twice!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

The Other David's picture
l 100+ points
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I don't think that there is any set size or consistency for any one person, let alone a 'standard' for the human race. As for myself, I have probably produced every conceivable sort of poop (except the real blood stained variety) I have produced what we call in German 'D

The Other David's picture
l 100+ points
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As I se that the German Umlauted letters dont take too well, the term for pencil like stools is 'Duennschiss'.

The Other David's picture
l 100+ points
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Sorry...one other thing, as to demonstrate my point, one may consider checking out the site 'www.ratemypoo.com' as it is fraught with pics of all sorts of turds from the world over!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Yes, I've been to the site. Unfortunately, when I tried to tell my friend about it he thought I said, www.rapemypoo.com.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

bob wall's picture
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I am a girl I Once farted in the bathtub and green poop came out I went to the doctor he said I have diabetes and I need to stop it or it may turn fatal please help me out

oopsy is that really diahrea?'s picture
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i eat , drink n sleep shit
what can i do?

freakazoid's picture
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Yeah bob wall. And I found a pearl in my butt crack!

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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Ha ha ha!!!! That's sick, freakazoid! I'll have to remember that comeback for later!

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

shit face's picture
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my poops are quite long and you can often see what i ate the day before in them

austin's picture
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my poop is ussualy wet and squishey,what should i do?ive tried every thing.ive held it in,not drank water before i shit,but it dosent work.

bootie juiceUSA's picture
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that was pretty sick shit volcano.greenwater,sick

Turd-o-tron!!'s picture
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All this poop talk makes me wanna take a crap... I consider myself a healthy pooper.. for a chick. I take at least 2 craps a day and both are quite.... poopey, if you may. The only advice I could give you, my poop-challenged friends is to eat well and relax while you are paying your respects to the porcelain God.

Addie's picture
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Hey...i feel really stupid but im abit shy to go to the doc about it...but ok..i have this problem with goin to the washroom in public places..and i also have a problem with goint ot he washroom too...i go atleast once or twice a day..so ive been takin pills to stop me from taking a crap...i did 3 times throughout the week...n i finally tooka crap the other day n now everytime i eat i get these stomach pains...can n e 1 help me out...y i go tot he washroom so often...im a fair size for my age and i eat normal...it seems like i shit more then i eat...does n e 1 know y...

GIRLS POO's picture
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my friends and i were talking about my pooping, or lack thereof and decided to look up what the average size should be...we stumbled across this hillarios site-
i poop only once a week, and it has been that way for as long as i can remember, but recently i read that if you hold it in you could send the wrong message to your bowels and then they wont know to alert you when you do have to poo...interesting, just thought you all should know!

GIRLS POO's picture
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ps. isn't it ironic that my middle name is Crapo, and i am descended from THE Thomas Crapper?!?!?

Kelly's picture
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I only poop about once a week. They are small and I am unsatisfied. Am I broken or just full of shit. Anyway, they are usually small so I'm thinking less than a pound. Any recomendations?

Perfect Poop's picture
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is there any poop record section here, like a high score list of.. like...

* longest shit
* widest shit
* heaviest shit
* longest time on the potty
* longest time without going on the potty
* group shitting
* deepest shit (scuba diving, sea explorations)
* highest shit (i guess nasa take this one home)
* oldest shit (people who keep turd collections)

i could go on forever, but you get the point ... the possibilities are endless!-...

i have looked around closely on the site without finding this anywhere...!! this seems like a major loss...

could even be interesting with shortest, smallest lists too; however this sets much stricter demands to scientific approaches of measurement and validation.

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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We could put this contest together and have a poo fair! I've already written up the details for a pee fair under "Peeing While Pooing" and the "Ask Poonurse" section.

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

Perfect Poop's picture
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am i the first to suggest this? i am shocked!

we should arrange for this straight away. as we are speaking, there are shitloads of price turds being flushed down the toilet, with no record, without no-one knowing (except the anal sculptor who carved the little heartbreaker).

do we have to ask dave for this or can anyone just make it happen?

i even thought of a few names for the competition, like "poolympics" and "the superbowel"...

The Shit Volcano's picture
Comment Quality Moderatorh 3000+ points
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What about the "pooathalon"?

I found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time!

dokkateer's picture
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one word...football

The Poop Master's picture
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I have poops that are about 9-10 inches long.

bloody shit's picture
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my hole has been hurting for a couple of days. and this morning, when i took a crap, it came out with blood. it's not my hole that stretched or anything because there were more blood than my usual ass tear... why is that?

Chris's picture
m 1+ points - Newb
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Here is a pointer for all people who have hard poop that won't come out of you're to scared to poop it out. You need to put luberciant on you finger and put your finger up your arrs and line the whole holw with the lubercaint. This will help it slide out very easily. Other things are soap in stead of lubercaint!