Ask PoopReport: Guys' Skidmarks?

// // 568 Comments
m 1+ points - Newb
0
0

Dear Poopreport,

Why do guys get 'skidmarks' in their underwear? Girls never have this problem.

568 Comments on "Ask PoopReport: Guys' Skidmarks?"

Anonymous's picture

I think that inspite of cleaning your anus, skidmarks occur because of wet farts, or even dry ones. The farting causes fecal matter in the gaseous form to deposit on the underwear. So, since the two causes have been identified, the solution is as follows:
1) Wipe your ass with water after taking a dump. I mean, running water that cleans your ass thoroughly.
2) Try to minimize your gas which gives rise to farts. Avoid foods that cause a lot of gas. Eat foods that aid in digestion. Drink a lot of water. Exercize.
3) Avoid scratching your ass

The above 3 solutions should take care of MOST skidmark problems.

Anonymous's picture

There is a practical reason for my interest in this topic. I like to stay clean, and I don't want my wife to see my skid marks, so I avoid them if I can. But I'm not able to avoid them completely. I wipe thoroughly. I look at the paper during each stage to make sure that the paper is clear. So I became even more thorough, and in addition to wiping I actually cover my finger with a couple ply and put my paper covered finger partially up my butt to clean even more deeply. And most of the time the finger paper does have some residual matter on it and I have to do this a few times until the paper runs clean. But despite all of these efforts I often get skid marks. Not huge disgusting ones but they're there. And remember this is AFTER I've verified that the paper is picking up no more fecal matter -- my butt is clean. So I'm trying to figure out how they occur when an absorbent piece of toilet paper fails to register any residual. When I'm home I can use the forceful setting on my shower head after wiping to clean completely. When I do this I never get skid marks. So it's not anal leakage, and it's not insufficient wiping. My conclusion is that you can wipe all you want, but without water an invisible film of fecal matter or oil of feces cover the area following a bowel movement. After a while sweat will liquefy the feces film, which will be absorbed in he underwear. So while some people get huge disgusting skid marks from sloppy hygiene, it's not accurate to state that anyone who has skid marks is not wiping thoroughly. Everyone please critique my conclusions based on the evidence because I'd like to be completely SMF (Skid Mark Free).

Anonymous's picture

Hey, why can't you people spell? When describing many, It is 'a lot' not 'allot' or 'alot' . You wouldn't write, 'alittle' would you!

DeathByPoop's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

No wonder my husband's underwear smells like shit when he passes by me parading only in his stained underwear! The reason sure does seem to be some sort of poop leakage.

Anonymous's picture

add fiber to your diet, so you have healthier movements. The harder your stool the less stains you will have.

Anonymous's picture

*AHEM*... This topic is still being discussed?

Anonymous's picture

Is it polite to get up and smell the pew after I shit in church?

Anonymous's picture

Here is my theory: I think men get more skid marks than women because they pee standing up. If relaxing your muscles to pee lets out a fart, the men aren't going to then sit down and clean themselves off. Women are already sitting down and already wiping with toilet paper- it isn't hard to be a little more thorough.

That said, I wish I didn't have to deal with my husband's skid marks. I keep myself very clean to avoid getting urinary tract infections (for the guys, that is why girls wipe from front to back. Our urethra is very close to our anus so we have to worry about infection more), but now that I can't control how clean he is, I can end up getting them anyway.

And last week, when he got up from the sofa (and he was wearing jeans at the time), he left the smell of shit behind on the cushions. What is up with that?! How is that even possible?

Anonymous's picture

Very interesting topic. I always thought it was weird that some people (mostly guys) get skidmarks.

Anonymous's picture

It's nice to know there's a special place on the web, where shitheads, such as myself, can come and discuss number two in an adult manner.

The original topic question was posed by Lili almost a decade ago, and while a number of theories have been postulated here, I believe I can answer Lili's inquiry with a one word answer: Pantyliners.

My GF wears thongs. They're shoved up her crevice all day and yet remain remarkably skid free. It's not hard to understand why. She wears pantyliners everyday, regardless of flow. (Now...exactly why her underwear commands so much respect is a matter between her and her panty. Personally, if my jockeys demanded an extra layer of protection, I'd tell 'em to go find another butt hole). Women though, by nature, seem to be much less tolerant of poop then we are, and pantyliners pander to that sensibility.

Anonymous's picture

Some people are just dirtier than others. I don't mind if someone's bum is a bit dirty or their undies are skidmarked as long as the smell doesn't get too overpowering. Strange as it may seem, some people are oblivious to poor wiping and subsequent poop smearing in their undies. Whatever.

As long as they don't knock me over with their smell, I won't judge them. Poop-stainers can be normal people too. We're inclined to judge people for a whole host of other reasons in addition to the state of their undies and we miss out on what could be good friends as a result.

Anonymous's picture

Wiping only cleans superficially leaving residual fecal matter. Sweating, both men & women, liquefies the residual fecal matter around the anus and hence the skid marks. That's why most Asians use water.

Anonymous's picture

Wash your ass or use wet wipes.

Anonymous's picture

I was hysterical reading these posts!! I mean you folks made me almost shit laughing! LOL

Anonymous's picture

No one on this site, can put a proper sentence together nor can anyone here spell properly.

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Dear Anonymous, I don't think it's just this site. Text speak has taken over and destroyed the abilities of many young people to use correct syntax or spell even simple words. Check a few more sites before you condemn Poop Report.

I am a moderator and have tried to correct major grammatical errors and misspelled words for the last year or so. Poop Report is over ten years old and in the early days comments were pretty much published as submitted.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

Anonymous's picture

Epic fail tiana and Doniker y'all shouldn't call people idiots it's talking about your own kind.
Tiana your to dumb to spell a three letter word that or you just confuse can with con either way makes retards look smarter then you.
And doniker I'm not a grammar Nazi but I mean come on "my wife would really call you are idiot" can u say "me are be smart not" cause that should be your catch phrase

Anonymous's picture

There is a very simple explanation to your problem.
When you wipe your butt after defecating you remove most fecal matter but, most importantly, you dry your anus. During normal activity your anus will sweat and whatever small residue of feces is there will mix with sweat and stain your pants.
You can try an experiment; defecate on a plate, then clean it up with paper. Would you claim it is now clean and you are ready to eat a meal on it? Of course not and, if you were to pour a small amount of water on the plate, you would get a not-so-clean liquid.
So there's only one solution to your problem, WASH your butt after you defecate.
This is something they have understood since centuries in southern Europe and Asia (in fact they have bidets), but apparently the rest of the world likes dirty butts!

Anonymous's picture

Mercy!

ChiefThunderbutt's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Content ModeratorComment Quality Moderatorf 5000+ points

Wow Anonymous, this certainly is a case of the pot calling the kettle black! I approved your post with no corrections to your terrible spelling and your atrocious syntax. The first letter in Tiana's name in your opening statement should have been capitalized.

The use of your instead of you're is a common mistake in English and one which you have made.

It is common in written English to close out a sentence with some form of punctuation. I think in your poorly written comment a period would have sufficed.

Lastly, if you are so sure that people shouldn't call other people idiots, why are you doing exactly that?

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on!

brief's picture

I do allot of laundry at my house too. My son (18) and my step son (19) must be in a skid match or something. One is dirtier then the next. I also know that both boys are intimate with their girlfriends, as both are going to be dads here within the next 4 months, I dont know that their girlfriends dont care about the skid, or the boys, listen to their significant other about as much as I listen to mine. I also see our 16 year olds and our 13 year olds briefs, it seems the 16 year old is hanging out with the older boys, you got it, skidded underwear, and that our 13 year old, is taking after the wife thus far, skid free. Dont get me wrong, I am 38 and still get adequate skid on my briefs, however it must be a guy thing in my house, because my wife, the only female in the house, is always skid free.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

"Girls never have this problem."

I beg to differ. My wife gets a hell of alot more skidmarks in her panties then I do in my underwear.

kiteless's picture

i am lucky to have a man that does not have this problem. i am in charge of the laundry and i can tell you, he has the cleanest undies ever. even the white ones look new. dunno how he does it, i think he's just really good about keeping things clean. anyways, the only skids i get aren't from my ass, just from leaks around that time of the month.

Shawn St James's picture

I'd have to say that skids are NOT necessarily a sign

of either laziness, or not being a clean person.

I sometimes have this problem, but I am an extremely

athletic person who also happens to do a lot of manual

labor around the house. In addition, coffee(an an

occasional cigar) makes that whole problem vitriolic.

All of those activities make you "combustible". Any

long distance runner can attest to that.

Thus, i look upon those skids as a sign that I'm

going all out athletically.

Smort's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Keep in mind that men are MUCH more active than women

are physically, and more likely to work OUTSIDE farther from facilities, and also MUCH MORE willing

to fart for awhile before 'having' to head INSIDE

to poop.

WOmen are mainly INSIDE much closer to toilets, and

urinate more frequently, thus closer to the pooper.

mr.mac's picture

I'd say it is because men tend to sweat a lot more than women, I always do a conscious wipe of my ass but the sweat makes it all difficult. Besides, there's the hair issue, I have never known a woman with a hairy ass, or skidmarks problems.

Tom Turdriffic's picture

My wife leaves the skidmarks in the toilet, not on the undies.

Tiana's picture

I hope the last three guys that wrote in know that they sound like idiots. Above is a prime example of why some guys get skid marks. If you can not do something as simple as form a halfway intelligent statement how con you be asked to wipe your ass well enough not to get shit in your drawers?

"Thus, i look upon those skids as a sign that I'm

going all out athletically."

I ask you,does this sound like a statement from some one smart enough to wipe ALL the shit for his own ass? I think not. Maybe you boys should call your mommy's and ask her to reexplain the elementry art of wiping your own ass. I am sure you will not have to go far to find her, for I am sure you still live at home.

adude's picture

I think skid marks are not a male exclusive problem. I'm single and do my own laundry so I can't say I've worked with women's panties in that respect. I don't have a problem with skid marks but I did when I was working this job that required lots of lifting and early shifts starting at 5 am. I'd drink coffee to wake up and it was pure disaster.

I'd try to dump at 4 am when I got up but my body was in such a set pattern that no poop would be produced. I'd get ready and have my coffee. In the car I'd feel great. I'd listen to cds cause those idiot JDs would talk about stupid shit in the AM. When I arrived at work I'd look over what needed to be done and about after an hour my shit cramps would start. I tried to drink water to dilute the coffee but I wasn't thirsty. Anyway, I'd have number 3 consistancy dumps and feel great afterwards but skid marks were a problem sometimes.

Oh, the bastards I worked for at the time would not stock toilet paper so I would get hand wipes the mechanics had at their work station. I was the ultimate shameless shitter one time cause I took 8 wipes into the shitter with me and after many wipes I still needed more. So I pulled up my underwear and pants, left my shirt untucked, and lightly walked out to the wash station out of the restroom taking care to not let my crack and underwear make contact. It was so shameless casue we have a security camera out there and I'm sure someone saw me and probably has me on tape walking to the dispenser and back to the restroom to clean up.

doniker's picture
j 1000+ points

Right on Tiana. If my wife heard Smort's comment:

----

Keep in mind that men are MUCH more active than women

are physically, and more likely to work OUTSIDE farther from facilities, and also MUCH MORE willing

to fart for awhile before 'having' to head INSIDE

to poop WOmen are mainly INSIDE much closer to toilets, and

urinate more frequently, thus closer to the pooper.

-------

my wife would really call you are idiot. My wife works outside in the yard, sweats, and is no farther from a toilet that anyone. What the hell does the distance from a toilet have to do with skidmarks? Did you get hit in the head with a hammer this morning? (p. s. I believe I also urinate more than my wife)

--------

All humans male and female sweat and can have hair in there ass cracks. What your sex is doesn't determine the amount you sweat or if there is hair on your ass. Mr. Mac is braindead for saying:

-----

I'd say it is because men tend to sweat a lot more than women, I always do a conscious wipe of my ass but the sweat makes it all difficult. Besides, there's the hair issue, I have never known a woman with a hairy ass, or skidmarks problems

PJbrownstuff's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Sometimes it is difficult to get all the dingelberries and crust that lies betwixt your cheeks. The hairy ass on men seem to catch some of this. Then, if you scracth your asshole through your shorts, you have painted the inside of your trousers burnt sienna.

PJbrownstuff's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I write can't good well sometimes.

Jack Scat's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I think the sweat in your ass is called S.W.A.S - Smelly Wet Ass Sweat. Admittedly it is a tad redundant but it has kind of a nice ring to it just the same.

And the hairs "betwixt your cheeks" are called pisnagus (piss-nay-gus) hairs. Don't ask me why. Maybe someone around here knows. It is also entirely possible that there is an alternate spelling; this is the first time I have ever thought to put it into letters.

poopreport's picture

I agree with Tiana and Doniker. I think the main factors in whether or not someone has skidmarks is:

a) how well they wipe their ass

b) consistency of poop

c) quantity of asshairs.

I *can* see how having a lot of asshair would trap more poop particles, even with really conscientious wiping. And men do tend to be hairier than women, so that might account for some of it. Also, I would bet that on the whole women are more thorough wipers, while men would be less likely to mind a few particles of shit in their underwear.

Dr. Fisheed Farkwas Explains Skids's picture

Skids have nothing to do with uncleanliness.

They occur when flatulence blows out. In other

words, people who FART more, have more skids.

Causes of increased flatulence:

1. Consumption of gas causing substances including

coffee, beer, tobacco, milk, beans,

2. Extreme physical exhertion such as sports or work

3. Digestive disorders

guru asswipie's picture

OK, cool it people. you all obviously hate the opposite sex. Guys: pimp slap someone. Gals :get the frying pan, and wash your old mans wife beater T. You will want him to look right purty for the next episode of cops. This site is supposed to be fun. Don't let it turn into a stupid internet forum argument.

I believe that it is best for both sexes to be prepared when it comes time to wipe and clean out and prevent skid marks. The best way is to keep a generator, some gasoline and a pressure washer in the car. When you have to deliver a dirt snake , just go out to the car and stand in the trunk. Poop. Then fire up the generator and use it to power the flood lights. Shine a flood light up your ass and have a friend use the pressure washer to blast away all the offending debris. If you don't havea buddy available just use a full length mirror at an angle. If you happen to have a weak anus and fart liquid stank out all the time, use this as an opprotunity to pressure wash your underwear or panties. You could also remove any dried skid marks or dried period blood or vaginal mucous at this time. Be sure to wash away the turds on the ground. I also recomend reading the ass wiping techniques section to gain some valuable knowledge on avoiding un wanted dung designs.

-

Mad Shittah's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Dear Poopreport,

Why do guys get 'skidmarks' in their underwear? Girls never have this problem.

Two reasons:

Its fun.

We don't wash clothes.

That is all.

kiteless's picture

if women didn't have hair in their asses the multi-million dollar business of brazillian/custom waxing wouldn't exsist.

Why is Tiana Attacking Guys?'s picture

This doesn't seem like the place to attack

someone's legitimate opinion. You sound awfully

mean spirited. That is not necessary here.

mr.mac's picture

now that I think about it... I do drink coffee and fart.

I think i'm getting it

Dingle Dick's picture

It's definately the farting.

Ever herd the old joke, I know I'm getting old, my farts are wet and my dreams are dry.

adude's picture

Dave,

Kick these people off of poop report! These idiots just hate the world and like to fight.

Tiana's picture

I am actually one of the most friendly you would ever meet. Or so my roommate tells me on a regular basis. If you would like to ask her you can find her at the bottom of the PR home page as the pretty girl who where's the poopreport shirt. I just can not deal with how stupid people are from time to time. I am sure that I am gulity of this same crime now and again. And I would love it someone would tell that I sound like an idiot so that I could shut my big mouth! Well you all have a great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

surgery patient's picture

Just dropped in to give my 2 cents worth. I never had the skid mark trouble till I had to have surgery. The docs put me under and put what must have been a large microscope up my ass....anal muscles never the same since!...Shit Happens eh?

Jack's picture

Skids are evidence that men are failures at wiping their asses and sluggish about personal hygiene. Screw the so-called misogynistic 'feminine hygiene' products females get bombarded with every time they walk into a store or open a magazine, propaganda which tell women that they are filthy and smelly. They should start marketing products, like disinfectant sprays or diapers, aimed toward men who shit themselves and can't wipe their ass to save their lives. Maybe they should shove corks up their asses to save on laundry.

Skidless in Seattle's picture

Some idiotic comments, some helpful and insightful comments. That

yomama's picture

Mad Shittah (banditmail_2000@yahoo.com) -- 6.6.2003

Dear Poopreport,

Why do guys get 'skidmarks' in their underwear? Girls never have this problem.

Two reasons:

Its fun.

We don't wash clothes.

That is all.

hehe

Whaley's picture

Well, here's a 50-something lady who never heard the term skid marks in reference to hygiene, until today. And I do have the problem, for the last couple of years. I attribute it to two things--a general one which I'll call "digestive disorder" and also weight gain and poor range of motion, making it impossible to reach certain spots. Yuck.

yomama's picture

Has anyone ever seen "blind date unscensored". There was this man who wanted this woman to do a massage for him, and he paid her 100 bucks, and when they go to his house he stripped down to his underwear and he got on his stomach and there was this HUGE skid mark. It was nasty, but anyway back to the subject everybodgets skid marks no matter if you white black male or female. Once and a while you gonna have them.

my2cents's picture

I have been exercising lately and noticed an increase in the skids. Therefore I tend to try to use certain underwear for exercising so that I can leave most of my underwear "untainted". Also, it helps to avoid white underwear if you have a problem with this. At least that way it's less noticeable.

I have a theory that it's actually more difficult for men to wipe their asses properly due to the shape of the buttocks. Guys butt cracks are higher and deeper. This is also related to overall body weight and mass.

my2cents

my2cents's picture

oh i should also add the exercising I've been doing is biking, which basically shoves your undies right you your ass. So if there IS any shit up there, it's guaranteed to get all over your underwear.

my2cents

keith cooke's picture

I HAVE READ ALL THESE COMMENTS FOR A LAUGH, AND QUITE FRANKLY ANY WOMEN AND I DO MEAN ANY! WOMAN WHO EITHER SAYS SHE NEVER GETS SKIDMARKS IS A DOWN RIGHT LIAR! IN ACTUAL FACT A WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE HAS NEVER GOT SKIDS HAS THEM MORE THAN ANYONE, WOMEN ARE FAR MORE OPEN THAN MEN SO THEREFORE ARE MORE LIKELY TO STINK ALOT AND WOMEN DO POOP YOU KNOW AND GIRLS WHO WEAR THOSE TIGHT-TO-THE-BUTT!! G-STRINGS SUFFER BADLY WHEN THEY ARE OUT CLUBBING AND DANCING ESP WHEN THEY HAVE HAD A HEARTY POOP!! THE END RESULT BEING A SMELLY BROWN STRING!! SOME FRIENDS OF MINE HAVE HAD A HORRIBLE FISHY AND BROWN SUPPRISE ON A ONE NIGHT STAND AFTER A CLUBBING SESSION BELIEVE ME.. SO ANY GIRL OUT THERE WHO READS THIS AND QUOTES THAT MEN SKID MORE THAN WOMEN ARE SOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!!!!!

doodoodoo's picture

I am an active male and believe it or not, I have not had a skidmark since I was a small child. wipe wipe wipe...

Angie's picture

I am a girl who just recently started having a problem with skidmarks. I am not doing anything different, but lately I have noticed a few pairs of panties with spots on them. Mostly thongs. I know most girls would deny this, but I would like to know what causes this suddenly. If any females have had the same problem, please let me know why this is happening, and if any men know, speak up please. But be nice, it's very embarrassing!!

Mr. Nopoopypants's picture

I'm a guy, and I dont have skid marks becuase I wear dark-colored flannel boxers. Lets me fart away! Another thing you can try is to put liquid soap on toilet paper. gets you real clean.

Tom's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

I'm a guy with a hairy ass. I use wet wipes after I defacate, so my drawers stay nice and white.

mr clean's picture

I shave my ass crack to prevent the ass hair dingleberries. (I am quite harry) I have also been known to spray a little deoderant between the cheeks on really hot days. (I sweat like a stuck pig) The combination of the 2 usually keeps my nice and tidy.

Now, farting on the other hand... I do seem to have more natural gas than your local refinery. Perhaps this is the cause of some people's problems, though I never seem to end up with a skidmark, except that one time when it wasn't really a fart... OOPS.

mr clean botty's picture

AS FOR THE GIRL IN THE PREVIOUS STATEMENT OOOOOOH WHAT A MINGER I BET THE GUYS SHE GETS HOME WITH GET A RIGHT BROWN SUPPRISE WHEN TEARING HER PANTIES OFF PHEW!! I BET IT PUTS THEM RIGHT OFF SEX AND GIRL WITH SKIDS IN HER THONG YUK!! REMEMBER KEEP YER POOPER CLEAN HUN ESP WHEN DATING IT PUTS ALL US GUY,S RIGHT OFF!!!!

dianne's picture

i am a girl who suffers from skidmarks alot many guys i have met are put off from sex cause my embarressement puts them off i try to wipe back to front clean but i sweat and get the marks in my panties how do i prevent this in the future even though my butt hole smells sometimes and gets very sore in deed !!!!!!

Cameron's picture

It's no way to avoid skidmarks for girls.
because girls must wipe ass from front to back.
it can't clean completely,and wearing so tightly
panites.almost girls having skidmarks in their panties,
(not only me and you)so don't mind.
guys are easy to clean(they can two way & deeply wiping).

Joshua's picture

Hi,I 25 yr old guy. I have had a problem with skids in my briefs since I started getting a hairy crack at 14. My briefs can get real nasty. As for my wife, she doesnt seem to mind. I have also gotten the chance to see some of my friends briefs who are my age or a year younger when they leave them in my bathroom in the pool house when they come to my house to swim, their underwear is sometimes nastier then mine with skids all the way through the briefs! I think skids are a part of life for guys. I have seen allot of underwear in my days of playing HS football and seen allot of skids on allot of guys underwear. As for my wifes panties, always clean. Its a guy thing.

buttwipe's picture

ewwww that joshua has got to be an all time pant peeper he seems to concentrate on peering at guys pants it would,nt supprise me in the least if he starts a sniffing act sooner than later and as for his wife i tend to agree with cameron that girls make a far more a smelly mess of their undies than men do so in turn that means that joshua,s missus gets very bad skids in her knickers i put all my money down on that fact and believe that joshua is hiding the fact that his wife is one very skiddy bitch!!!!

Joshua's picture

Nope, the wife is not one skiddy bitch she is clean, unlike my size 32 FOTL white undies, heavily skidmarked with a nice raunchy smell to them. Skidmarks in a hot dudes briefs like myself are awesome!

Wise anal mantenance from the gods's picture

Unless you have one of the miraculous one wipers-the eternal skid will be present. However, A deep penetratrating wipe should eliminate the source of most fecal juice matter. Hairy sphincter and anal blow-by should not be the cause of unsightly country roads-commonly known in some parts as John Denver's. Although they are the chief culprits. As far as those reappearing fecal abrasions put upon w-tights, panties, or G-strings, I would suggest a deliberate pinching off of the loaf in such a fashion that it creates a return suction, and it does not appear that the brown crayon like vestule remains hanging out your behind. When you lay your cable-be professional. Be thorough. A good technique, which I can attest, consists of two cups of coffee followed by a tall glass of water twenty minutes later. The water serves as a jacket, and the coffee as raw fuel; it can be quite explosive. Now, unless you miss your opportunity then, you may have to drop your load on company time, but it is better do it on time-and-a-half-though. I prefer taking a good solid fifteen minute dump on double time as a opposed to straight time. I find it to be much more rewarding. One other item, toilet paper that is consistantly soft (requiring many wipes) or abrasive can cause undue chaffing, which actually may cause a worse problem than skid stains. This requires burn balm salve, or an econimical lotion which purports to relieve burning and itching. The Feminine issue of course should not detract much from the male, since as far as proper wipe procedures, the frontal vs. reverse wiping argument, the fecal residue is actually quite negligeble and cannot reasonable be taken into account. I scoff at those who say otherwise. However, the anal harry bush does pose a signifigant dissadvantage for the male counterpart, which is certainly an unfair element. The overweight aspect cannot be left out of the equations since the "fat bastards" have a tendency to shit much more often than the skinny counterparts, who perhaps are able to do thier necessities prior to the morning shower, and preferably before a good morning run as well. The morning run would serve to remove any residual colon matter and loosen any fecal matter that could possibly be dislodged during a heavy lift at work. I would recommend a post fifteen minute wipe to severe any minor kligon transfers, or the (brown) sweat that works itself into a lather if the proper suffucont is not used to clean the backside. The other instrument that might have unreliable consequence is the infamaous, and not too often talked about, liquid senser. That my friends, is a fail safe disaster control mechanism which serves to eliminate the catastrophic as well as the common false fart. A warn out sensor can cause more than an embarrassing skidaroo. And herein lies the common cause of a poor liquid sensor, overuse by the overeater: the fat ass. The fatties will repeatably shit, fart, and cause excessive wind ie. blow by and they perhaps are at risk to eat too much olean products, which actually state on the package of many potato chips, that cause anal leakage, a tendency regardless. Hence, unsightly racing stripes. Now, despite all the reasonable and necessary precautions the crusty browns may surface from time to time, and the handy dandy over-the-counter-stain removers usually suffice. Remove the skid a ploy--as one may enter the bath and leave a wet pair on the floor next to a puddle of water. And therefore, the woman shall be none the wiser when she picks up after a slob, but a clean pair of underwear, or at least too wet to examine article of its crude, depolorable contents. You may successfully create a diversion. A precation: This cannot be done too often. They will be so mad at the mess of water on the floor that they will not even bother to look inside, but rest assured the solution should not be worse than the problem. As you can see, the problems of skid marks are evermore complex with too many issues to remedy on a single website. I did not even discourse on the historical element, nor on the athletic supporter, which forces the sweat at the base of the scrotum, which collects the unsavory brown liquid. The athlete, strictly from a historical context, had instructed the greek wrestlers to compete nude. Greeks are naturally hairy. Do you see the dillema of the Roman world! This of course created an unfair advantage. They moved from supporters to tights. Wrestlers are known for having the worst skid marks of all athletes, for they will purposefully genrate skids which penetrate their tights and the close contact of opponents are sure to create victory. I apologize for my digression but I have done some partial research on this issue for a new book that I am working on: Skid marks: Whats all the rukkus about? Remember it is not a skid mark unless it falls upon your underwear--who wears underwear?

Anonymous's picture

Very funny.

Aaron's picture

I agree with Joshua. I am 24 and my white briefs are also skidmarked, some days they are real nasty. My women like Joshuas is skid free and mine too is ok with my skid. As for the message above, when I wrestled in high school, like now, I purposely didnt wipe so good that way would get on the singlet do my opponent would have to smell my crack. I must admit I smelled quite a few other guys cracks, they must had not wiped either. Recently I saw a farmer friend of mines briefs when I was at his farm house. He is 22 and I when I went into the house to take a leak I saw his briefs on the floor. Obivously he had worn them on the hottest day of the year, they were nasty by most peoples standards, skids all the way through the briefs, and some even on the wrangler jeans that were laying on the bathroom floor. It makes me beleive that I am not the only dude who purposely skids up his underwear.

MR CLEAN BOTTY's picture

WELL YOU LOT ARE ONE DIRTY LOAD OF ASSWIPES WHO DO NOT WIPE YR ASSES PROPERLY AT ALL AND AS FOR THE WOMEN WELL WELL WELL THEY ARE NOT SKID FREE AT ALL SO WHY O WHY PROTECT THEM SO DO NONE OF YR GIRLS SHIT AT ALL THEN ( YEAH RIGHT) YOU LOT ARE ARE A DIRTY LOAD OF SMELLY LOW LIFES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a hemmy's picture

I haven't read this problem in any of the comments associated with skid marks. I use to have a real bad skid mark problem. I have a hemmroid that dangles from my pooper. If you can imagine a small blueish red ballon like appendage dangling from the hairy parts of my crack, then you could easily understand that keeping clean down there would be quite the chore. I use a bidet twice a day, and it keeps me refreshingly clean as a whistle. However, I find that a good soak, especially in my friends hot tubs, keeps all excess poop from creating skid marks. I would never tell my friends of this condition that I have, since I don't think their wives would let me go hot tubbing at their place. I love hot tubs! A soak a day keeps the skids away!

Ryan's picture

Maybe so, but we are low lifes with SKID MARKS in our underwear, I love my skid as much as I like being a pickup driving, baby making, skidmarked underwear wearin, trailer park living, 22 year old low life. Like most real men, my ass crack is very hairy and it is near impossible to keep the skid away, so I dont even care, I have wipe half ass and let my underwear get really raunchy. My theory, skid 'em up!

Jon's picture
m 1+ points - Newb

Hell yeah, hell yeah. Skid those undies up!!! Theres nothing better then smelling your skids at the end of the day, I love skidded underwear. The only dis about skids is the embarassment factor, like when I bought my first house 4 years ago when I was 19. I normally hang out with just my skidded up briefs and a tee shirt. I had a raging fire going in the woodstove one cold night as me and the girl were busy, unbeknown to us we not only had a fire going in the woodstove but also in the walls and attic, the chimney blew up and started the whole house on fire, it burned to the ground. When we got ourselves and the baby out of the house, and help arrived, I realized that my undies were really skidded and since we were making our second baby that night I had my underwear off when we noticed the fire, I put my underwear on, but inside out allowing my skid to be on display to everyone! That was the biggest embarassment about having skids in my briefs. In high school when playing football, basketball and wrestling, guys are ashamed at nothing and we all had skid so no one cared. As for my wife, she never has skids in her panties, but has never said anything to me bout my undies so I am sure she is cool with it because she knows skidmarked undies bone me up and she knows what happens when I get boned up!