Something like "Please treat this bathroom as if it was your bathroom at home".

The only problem with that is these slobs at work most likely have a filthy house.

How about:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle/Be a sweetie, wipe the seatie."

or

"Notice there is no 'p' in 'seat'. Let's keep it that way."

I cannot believe I suggested those.

Since I travel a lot for a living, I get to use a lot of public bathrooms. The one I see most frequently strikes me not so much as a politeness nudge as a necessity. "PLEASE FLUSH THE TOILET!" in big bold magic marker letters appears quite a lot in the bathrooms of the libraries I call upon. I get the impression that way too many guys are simply not flushing. In a way it makes sense. A lot of teenage boys go to the library to study and read and cut up with their friends--just the type that would be pretty laissez-faire about their turds.

How about "Quit screwing up the bathroom you dirty whores"?

In all honesty, Yuk, if this was happening to me, I would compose a very factual letter to the head of the other company or the president or whomever was in charge of employee affairs with cc's to all involved, stating the problem asking the other company for help with this problem.

Yes, I really would.

However, I would be a total coward and instead of putting my name on it, I would send along photos of the restroom scenes.

"Dear so and so,

Since there is now a sharing of restroom facilities, an increase of soilage has occurred to levels never seen before (see attached photo). Please advice your female employees of the normal and correct procedures involved with sharing facilities with others. Be adviced that such further events will result in either termination of these facilities' usage or a shared cost of janitorial services to render the new conditions back to previous states.
I hope we can solve this embarrassing situation before it reaches any further publicity.

Thank you.

If it didn't help, a copy of it would be going to the local newspaper and a breakdown of what was going on.

This, of course, would be after using Skiddy's ideas, but I don't know if it would help. Anyone this ignorant may not heed any sign in the bathroom. You could also find a way to order paper toilet seat covers and bill it to the other company. Well, best of luck to you. You really have a disgusting problem on your hands. I wish you the best.

I'm awaiting TH's reply with baited doggy breath. This must surely be the question of the year for the master of disaster.

This sign graced the bathroom wall of my cabin for years:

"I saw you take that shit! Now put it back!"

If any sign or letter fails to give results, the solution is simple. Simply trek to any hardware store and purchase a hasp and padlock, give keys to only your employees. Soon enough the message will get across then you can remove the lock and hopefully have a clean facility.

"there's no 'p' in seat let's keep it that way" hahahahaha

Have one of the toilet seats that have an opening in the front and also lifts automatically after the bitch gets up.

If subtlety fails, wire the most frequently-splattered area to a large battery taped out of sight behind the bowl. The wire should be the same color as the plumbing and stripped just at the point where the connection's made.

Even dogs learn not to piss on electric fences.

Ah, reminds me of this Onion article:

http://new-news.tripod.com/head.htm

"Mid-Level Manger Forced to Find Out Who Isn't Flushing the Toilet"

I cannot even concieve of the position a woman must herself in to even dribble slightly on the seat...maybe if one doesn't wipe before one stands and a bit gets on the front of the seat....but why unless there is no paper would you stand before wiping???!!!!!!

Then I learned about the women who put there feet on the seat and squat to pee...another anatomical impossiblity...nothing is getting in the bowl....EWWWWWWWWWWWW and then they just leave it for the next lady.....is that the way they do it at home? What are they afraid of....those diseases noone's ever caught from a properly used toilet seat? Or are they just making sure that they share their pee with the next butt that comes along??!!!! Again I say EWWWW and how could you?

The golden rule of toilets:
Doo unto others as you would have them doo to you.

If that fails, I suggest hiring a spy...

When you squat
Control your twat
Aim your piddle
Down the middle

Peace in Piddledom. TH.

If you sprinkle
While you tinkle
Please be neat
and wipe the seat.

Someone wrote theat one every door of every stall of everybathroom at my higg school

I work at a big firm and my floor is female-dominated. Often by the end of the day the bathroom is grotesque. My friend and I have tried signs that beg, signs that plead, and signs with excessive underlining and exclamation points. Nothing works. These women don't wipe the seat and they don't flush half the time. Its disgusting. Good luck Yuk, you're going to need it. An anonymous ass is usually a nasty one.

What about?

KEEP THE SEAT DRY - MEN SOMETIMES SIT ON IT

Insane Wayne and Skid Marky Mark,

Excellent!!! Couldn't stop laughing.

I asked my mom, who is an executive (yes, I know, and I'm this way?), and she said the best thing her company ever did was to assign clean up duty amongst the plant workers when their toilets got nasty. I guess they all took care of their own.

Maybe this would help?

I definitely stand when I pee in a public crapper, as I don't fancy plopping my ass on other people's germs.

However, it really isn't that hard to hit a hole that size. And even if you would, by some miracle, miss this cavernous target, all you'd have to do is wipe the freakin' seat clean. Not asking too much of these slobs!

I guess you could make a sign with the old saying, "We aim to please--you aim, too, please!" This used to be only necessary in men's rooms, but since these broads can't seem to hit their intended targets, it now applies to the other half's shitters, as well.

Though I gotta say, I like that "If you sprinkle when you tinkle" slogan. Clever enough to be memorable, cute enough not to be offensive. I give it a 10!

Rig a toilet seat alarm. It is activated when pee or liquid poo gets on the seat. Then if the wet stuff is not wiped off in a certain amount of time an alarm sounds and shoots a picture of the person as they are walking out the door.

cool idea. does your name happen to be Keith? cuz i knoe a guy named Keith who would think of that(he could probably build one too!)^_~

No, not Keith. However, he sounds cool!

First, let's assume that these are respectable women, because otherwise it doesn't matter what you say. But given that assumption, try

"Please pee on the seat. I get off on it."

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Educate, provide cleaning supplies (disposable wipes, disposable gloves), and if this doesn't work, I vote for the lock!

Here are two Web places you can get the signs for "We aim o please, you aim too please."

http://www.pubsignshop.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc
?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=P&Product_Code=
pds-2538
http://www.cafepress.com/youaimtooplease

I once had an experience in a McDonalds crapper.I was travelling but had to stop for an emergency crap. When I got in the stall it had really been hosed down, but I had no choice but to use it, or sit in crap the rest of the day. There should be no tact used in dealing with these people. A sign should be straight to the point like "Clean up after yourself, you scrotum sucking bastard!"

In a McDonald's the sign should read: "Flush twice, it's a long way to the kitchen."

I aim to keep this toilet clean, your aim will help me!!!!

If you spill when your pissing,
Wipe the seat or you`ll go missing