I used a little green glass bottle from some wierd company that I have never heard of. Bought it at Publix, looked like a little 8 ounce mineral water. Had some kind of chemical, and a lot of lemon juice. Directions said "one half bottle for adults"... well I wanted to be really clean, so only a whole bottle would "doo" for me.

This stuff was a little fizzie and was more sour than a lemon its self. I should have know- the cap said "More pleasant when chilled" Which basicly translates into "ass in a bottle"

Sure enough, about 4 hours later, I was spitting mud. I had to spit about 4 times, and I don't believe that very much spat out. I was dissapointed. With the amount of stuff I eat, I expected a shoebox sized log every 15 mins for 4 hours staight.

I never filled those shoes.

I was on one of those fiber pill regimens for a while. After the first day, my poop was small and compact and dense and hard to get out. Every day after that, it was impressive in size but it didn't seem to bring out all the crazy pieces of rotted meat and stuff that the box promised. Not too noteworthy, in other words. But at the time I was on a very high-fiber diet anyway, so the pills probably didn't make much of a difference.

Oh yeah, Doniker, but it was prescription stuff—a prelude to a colonoscopy. I had to drink ONE GALLON of this nasty stuff that tasted somewhat like the soap did years ago when my mother stuck a bar of it in my mouth after I let a cuss word slip. A co-worker underwent the same procedure about a month prior to mine and gave me a bit of a warning so I would know what to expect. He said that the raging squitters begin about 20 minutes after the first drink. I felt it coming, but as all good Poop Reporters would, tried to hold out as long as I could without giving birth. I lasted about 30 minutes.

The first explosion was actually a couple of good-sized turds. If one could measure ass velocity the way the muzzle velocity of firearms is measured, it would have set records. In fact the first two turds hit the water with such force that the splash rivaled the one Shamu makes at Sea World. Upon the bowl inspection, it looked as if Shamu gave birth to twins.

There were no more solids after that. The instructions called for the user to DRINK THE ENTIRE GALLON. I ended up with the gallon of that stuff on the counter beside my shitter as there was no way I could go very far. The whole idea was to clean out your guts entirely. In fact, the instructions announced that there should be no solid material spewing forth at the end, just a ‘slightly yellow liquid’.

I have no idea what the name of this stuff was, but I am sure other Poop Reporters have either heard of it or tried it themselves. When you finish the ordeal, I’ll bet someone could shove a flashlight up your ass and light would come out of your mouth.

To top it off, the next day after the procedure the doctor gave me an actual photograph of the inside of my colon. I had it laminated and carry it in my wallet. It was ivory-colored and very smooth. I’m sure it’s the first time that it has been clean since conception!

NOTE: Have plenty of good, soft toilet paper on hand. DO NOT eat pumpkin seeds the night before as they act like little razor blades when exiting a tender asshole at high velocity. Do not try to fart when away from the toilet.

Paul Looter

I had to have an exam onetime and had to drink that lemon fizzie stuff and it DID clean out the tubes! If you want to turn it into a fun time, eat a big bowl of oatmeal, some chili and a bag of red cherries...THEN drink the fizzie "Phospho-Soda"!!! Wow, what a party!! I'll bet the Big Wiper won't want to miss that one. In fact, he will probably take this idea, invite all of his friends over for a crap shoot!

I drank an entire container of Liquid Plumber. I highly recommend Doniker that you try it too! It works real good.

Something tells me that Liquid Plumr won't work well . . . I can't quite put my finger on it. I've seen the colonoscopy stuff, a relative had to drink a gallon of it once. Better that it wasn't me. It's called GoLytely and it's some nasty shit. Not easy to drink a gallon of it, that's for damn sure! Yuck.

I think I've posted a thousand times on this site about my poop tea. It works well, but it doesn't totally clean the colon. However, I enjoyed feeling a few pounds lighter after the huge crap I took, so yeah Doniker I'd recommend cleansing your colon. I want to do it sometime too when I can dedicate a whole day to shitting. But sorry, I can't tell you what to use, I'm no expert in that area.

I haven't read about your poop tea but i SO want to try it. Off to search the archives...

YES! I just had a colonoscopy and had to drink THE WHOLE GALLON of that horrible soapy "prep" stuff. The experience almost killed me. At the end, all solids are purged and your ass basically spews murky, smelly, thin liquid. I could hardly get that soapy concoction down. I puked a couple times.

OH, and YES, Paul, one simply cannot fart when away from the toilet, when trying to gag down that stuff. I made that fatal mistake and ended up with a public humiliation extraordinaire. I keep meaning to write up the story so that everyone can read and ridicule.

Justa - you can get the poop tea at GNC. It's called Smooth Move.

Elizabeth, your are absolutely right. My co-worker made the mistake of thinking he was finished and ended up ruining a pair of boxers and the bed sheets. I believe it does something to the ass muscles (?) that render absolutely NO control. I am used to holding in some pretty fierce power dumps until I can reach a safe place, but there was no way of holding this stuff back. Prior taking that stuff, I thought I had enough ass-squeezing power to crack a walnut if one was pressed in there.

Yes, do NOT rip a fart after you've imbibed Colon Rotorooter and then have your colonoscopy. From what I have read, they pump air up your colon and inflate it so that they can take the photos. Then you leave the ass doctor's office with a bunch of air up your butt.

A guy posted a story on our local computer bulletin board telling us what happened to him: he had his colonoscopy, left the doctor's office and realized he had to rip a fart IMMEDIATELY. This was in San Francisco and the only nearby public restroom was in the library. So our luckless hero fled to a stall and slammed the door.

In San Francisco, the public library bathroom is full of homeless people. The poor guy spent 15 minutes ripping out farts from hell. And the guys in the bathroom heard it all and were saying things like 'Whats that?' 'Maan, that sounds sounds like the devil's in there' etc.

Make sure you have a private bathroom you can escape to as soon as the colonoscopy is done with.

The whole "colon cleanser" industry is a ripoff. Speak to your Doctor if you have any health concerns.

many family members died of colon cancer including my dad, this s NOT funny guys!

your dad died. thats friggin awesomely funny!
Cerbellumd!

I don't clean my poop factory. Never have, never will! And I certainly won't do it for a colon exam. No one, and I mean NO ONE touches my asshole without serious injury or slow, painful death!!!

The
GoLytlely is slot of work equal results cn be achieved with Biscodyl the active ingredient in alot of over the counter laxatives. Combining laxatives is another great way to unload everything. You can get alot of insights into this issue at any bulimics anonymous meeting. My favorites where prunejuice used as water in the Metamucil regime. Also if youy really want to get it all going pop off a bottle of Magnesuim Citrate or as we call it Maggie Sit. It is refreshing to hear from people.

This is a totally cool site.Does anyone here like coffee enemas? They really work great and stimulate the liver.

Beer enemas are very cool too, you get the high without the sickness of being drunk,be careful, alittle bit goes along way

Gonna have to try that one out stacey, might be the new future at bars to get your ass drunk... literaley!

Try sticking a whiskey-soaked tampon up your ass. It works a lot quicker.

My brother seems to like this website

Good for him.

i tried the natural, bowel cleaner, let me say this , make sure u are near a close by toilet, i was in a shopping centre @ christmass time, the only spare toilet had no walls and doors, and i had power explosions of gastric, went everywhere

I read an article that stated a family of 5 survived on a wrecked boat out at sea for over a month and managed to stay alive by turtle meat and a little catchment water that wasn't drunk but somehow forced into the colons for better absorption... I thought that fascinating and the above writers mentioned sticking alcohol up the rear for cheap/quick results and obviously it's true....well go figure, I just love learning something new. I am also on this site to seek The Best Colon Cleanser for a chronic constipated buddy who has tried everything already mentioned on this site. He spent years living with discomfort & pain .... just maybe there is enzyme or bacteria that he seems to be missing from his system. Any suggestions ???? cause his Docs aren't useful except to suggest surgery since the teas, roughage & other things haven't been useful

HAVE YOU TRIED CHITOSAN? IT PROMOTES THE FORMATION OF LOUISVILLE SLUGGERS AND YOU HAVE TO STAND UP EVENTUALLY BECAUSE THE TOILET IS FILLED--KIND OF LIKE A SAUSAGE FACTORY.

My ass is so fat that when I tried to squirt this stuff out, it acted like your thumb over the end of a garden hose! Talk about power-squirting!!!
Brenda

I just sent in a B.M. Newswire on this subject.

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Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

I recommend a fiber supplement in powedered form with 75% insolube and 25% soluble fiber. Stay away from strong laxative herbs like psillium husk and cascara sagrada. If a colon cleansing program promises to do the job in a week, it means it will cause you hell in the bathroom. A thorough yet gentle colon cleanse should take 1-2 months whilst drinking 10 glasses of water daily and eating a balanced diet. There are some great products out there, but there really is no shortcut. With that said, the ones I would recommend are "Dr. Natura's Colonix" and "Enuvia Colon Cleanse." "Renew Life" also has some good products that aren't as expensive.

This is a great site...!!! Finally, I know that I'm not the only one that can't do a daily dump. I am lucky to sit on the thrown 1-2 times a week. I have to try some of these techniques before I spontaneously burst.

Ya all sound like a bunch of assholes!

We can't sound like anything, since you can't hear us. It must be the voices in your head that sound like assholes.
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Fecal Matters.

Ok sicko's ... found your site while looking for an ass cleaner ~ with regard to the ones who want to get high by doing alcohol enema's, I would tell others, DONT DO IT! This is very dangerous, and has very negative side affects. This porthole is EXIT only, and not intended to have ANYTHING going up into it. As Prince would say .... she walked in thru the out door ... out door ..... -you will be wearing a raspberry berret for sure doing deadly dangerous deeds. Tampons are for menustrating, bootie holes are for excretion, and drinking the alcohol, -well that's digestion, -and meant to do so in moderation, -leave the bootie alone! Mannypoop

I wandered in here to find out why I had sudden success - here's something to try:

The fiber supplemented soy milks, yogurts (both dairy and soy), and kefir. I 've been loading up on all of these, and WOW! First time in years I've been feeling good. It's mooving, but not in a fearsome - sit on the bowl all day - way. I think it is the combination of the soluble fibers (dextrin, inulin, or fructan), the prebiotic stew of friendly bacteria, and the pectin (that helps carry it through the stomach maelstrom). Pectin can be added from an apple or something, too.

Of course, some people swear by apples alone....but I've had a super high fiber diet for a long time, and still couldn't go - like once a week. I think the proplem may have been the bacteria in the gut.

I'm telling you - this seems healthy and has worked for me.

have a senna tea the night before

take some cayenne pepper, then drink a nice honey and lemon tea

Then add 2 tablespoons seasalt to 1.5 litres pure water

drink in one go

stand near toilet

voila!

have another lemon tea after to get rid the salty taste

Great site.

I finally gave up Splenda and have much better bathroom time! Have done Colyte (the gallon-in-the-gut stuff) four times now, glad I don't have to do it again anytime soon. The magnesium citrate works pretty good, too, but I think it would taste a lot better with gin.

I'm thinking about doing a beer enema. Doo I need a poo-buddy or will I be okay on my own?

There's a website with enema recipes and instruction called enemas4fun. It has fetish material on it, so surf with care.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Hey doniker, I wish I could help you hereu but I've never put thought into this.
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Russell the shitting queen