Yo can someone please help me. I am 13 and if I dont stop my ass from smelling I think Im gonna die! Every morning before school I get a shower and scrub my ass like crazy. But when I get to school its smellin like shit already. This just started like 2 weeks ago. I know its me cause ive been told that I smell like shit already. And people talk about me. I always use wipe! A weird thing ive noticed is that my ass only gets sweaty and smells like shit at school. PLEASE HELP ME!

Damnit my life is in ruins because of this stench!I'm going crazy, i can't go anywhere without humiliating myself.Every time i'm in a public place like school or something i feel like i need to crap! I get nervous where ever i go and when i walk next to a person i try to aim my butt the opposite way,When i walk by someone sitting i walk sideways.Also i'm always scared of waiting in line somewhere, i feel bad for the people behind me.The worst though is a crowded bus or something i always make people get off stops to early.One time i was on an 11 hour flight to london and i was to scared to get up the whole flight to take a piss.I almost crapped and peed my pants. i wipe so much and so hard theres blood on the wipes but it don't help. I would do anything for some relief from this torture.I always try to sit far away from people on the subway and bus etc and pray that no poor chap or chick sit next to me and if they do i hope they get off first so my ass isn't in their face when i get up. The problem is usually when i'm standing when i sit the cushion or chair is squeezed against my ass thus preventing the stench from penetrating too many nostrils.Crowded doctors offices are also bad if there are no seats. i even took up smoking in the hope that the cigarettes will cover the smell, but alas no. I need help!!!!

This is an enlightening forum. I feel
like I have expanded my horizons by
reading the thoughtful threads. Thanks
so much for the inherent wisdom contained
within.

I'm about 50 and haven't had a good bowel movement in 6 weeks. They movements are quite very dark now. I also have smelled bad and occasionally dirtied my underwhere a bit wihtout realizing. I guess I'll take a ticket and stand in line here with everyodor else.

Ok fellow reekers, I did not realize my ass stunk for quite a while and must have earned some great nicknames. I will explain my situation and how I have overcome the stink bomb. I have had cronic diareha for years and attribute some of this problem for it. Another issue I have is a small hemeroid that traps shit residue. I noticed that there was a tinge of shit smell around me, but it took a long time for me to realize it was me because I could not smell it on my pants. I would get much smellier when my ass would sweat. OK, you know the usual symptoms ect from reading these blogs, now how I would like to share with you my remedy. First of all, if you have cronic diarreah, see your doctor it may be irritable bowel syndrome. Second, after shitting, wipe your ass until you wipe clean and this means getting the paper in your butt hole and much as you can, third, finish by using a wet paper towel. Now you have heard all of this before and now what worked for me is to use medicated bond body powder, wipe some on your asshole and put some on you under pants. You will feel a slight burn and your butt hole will pucker up like a frogs ass. This has brought unbelievable results for me. you can get the gold bond powder in the green bottle in pharmacys and grocery stores.
good luck,
stinkyass

My pop stinks. I have the chrone's and pertinentitis, so I think that those conditions makes my shit smells bad. Sometimes the poop displays gray epecially in the morning after I drinken a big amount of beers.
I want to have gotten back to normal again

I like that guy Mark! I agree, this is a good board, you can talk and hear about stinky butts and stuff that's kind of a turn on like Mark said. It's funny cause, alot of things on here are one of those "i wonder if im the only one" that thinks about or is going through with whatever maybe going on. But yeah man, you said you scrub your butt and "even" in the hole, i always thought that hole is part of washing your ass. Isn't it?
Oh yeah, like the other guy said about "smelling couch cushions" am i the only one who had done that?

No your not the only one who smelled sofa cushions and chairs or panties etc. I remember as far back as when I was 8, I was an only boy with 3 teenage sisters and when they would bring their pretty girlfriends over I would watch where they sat and wait until they left. Then I would go and take deep inhaling wiffs and sniffs where the hottest girls sat. That's how it all started and it's 31 years later and I still love the scent of a hot gals pussy (that's a whole nother subject thread) and especially ass hole. But freshly cleaned, no shit or piss stains. Today if I find a hot woman working in an office or sitting anywhere else in public, I'll wait for an opportunity when she gets up from where she's sitting and leaves, then I watch and if no one is looking or around, I'll indulge myself with a quick dive and sniff. I've even seen sexy girls in malls working at say the cell phone or sunglasses stand and wearing tight jeans. I'll approach them and offer a quick $200 if they'll go to the nearest restroom remove their panties and sell them to me. i haven't been turned down yet. As for my ass, it is always clean as i don't use paper, I shower after each time to the toilet. Also I shave my ass crack and balls and pubic bone completely. I'm smooth and clean. For those who keep saying that they use deoderent sticks in their ass, how do you keep the shit and stink off of the deoderent after wiping your ass hole with it?? Then do you still use it on your pits and mix the shit smell with your pit stench??? Save the deoderent for your pits and use soap and water for your asses.

Anon farter, congratulations you have been promoted to the "My ass really, really, really smells post. Try to post on it in the future so ones whose asses just plain stink can use this one.

I have been trying everything that has been said on this site for yrs now. Some works, some doesn't. Still have the stinky butt problem. Does anyone have any info from a doctor as to what they think it might be.

everybody's crack stinks

A stinky ass is one of the great equalizers in life. Many beautiful young starlets have asses that, when compared to mine, are strikingly attractive but I feel sure that they do not smell appreciatively better.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, the difference between a bevy of beautiful young starlets and a circus trapeze act?
The trapeze act consists of a cunning array of stunts.

PD...I might add that the difference between a band of pygmies and a women's track team is that a band of pygmies is a group of cunning little runts..............
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

My ass stinks. Like something dead in a gabage can. Period bar none. That's all and there's no more.

You guys are crazy about this shit!!! I actually laughed so hard reading this shit that it made me shit myself a little

My foul ass odor always starts per diem around 2pm or so when I wear polyester work pants, but later in the day with jeans. I guess the polyester causes the fester via lack of air movement around my asspipe. I think the only solution would be to take a shower again after lunch break but sometimes I can get home for lunch to quickly change my pants without need for a shower

ok reeekers,
I have had diareha and a smelly ass that was embarrassing and real. I started taking otc fiber supplements like benefiber, walla, diareha and smell 90% gone, try it

stinyass

I suggest cleaning products...perhaps 20 mule team Borax, Irish Spring (manly yes, but i like it too) or, if all else fails, drop two action laundry tablets in the john and hurry to sit down.

My ass stinks, but I like it. I use the finger wrenching method on my butt hole and then shove it into people's faces. They look at me like I am sick or something. Sometimes when my farts are really bad I cup my hand and fart into it and then put it up to their face.

Let me guess, Beaver, you're about 8 years old, and both mommy and daddy are passed out on the couch, so you snuck on to the internet while they sleep it off, am I close?
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

WHAAA!!! You mean that Ward and June are drunk???

Don't be silly, PD....everybody knows their heroin addicts.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

longputter. My doctor said to use benGay on your asshole. This should work real good, however, you might find yourself scooting along the floor for a few hours. Let me know?

It's intolerance to certain foods: dairy, wheat, fats, fermented foods, spicy foods, garlic, etc. Try giving up particular foods for at least a month. You may have to give them up permanently or at least indulge rarely. Certain food combinations can be worse than others. If all else fails try a raw food diet. You will quickly smell the offending foods if you eat them again after clearing out your bowels.

You have to learn to douche your asshole. Baby wipes are great for this. You should douche your brown eye everytime you launch a missle and you are not at home. When you are home, take a shower or a bath ( even better) right after a blast. Then, either sprinkle some baby powder in your ass crack or use a deodorant stick and gently rub it on your brown star. Also, once you have thoroughly cleaned your poo box, make sure you put some powder in your underwear. If you do all of the above, your ass stank will improve greatly!!

Yeah when I eat the dairy alot, my nasties get pale and very smelly. And the ass odor seems to linger most of the day even though I force the tidy bowl man to wash my ass.

Pretty much, the best thing yo can do is to use baby wipes - as many have already said. One wipe with TP, a few with the wipes, then finish with one TP. It's a little funny to have a shit wiping technique, but I find it hilarious that some peeps would go as far as to sprinkle power on their asses.

Personally, I always designate my shits so that I can shower right afterwards. It's become a subconscious eating schedule that fits perfectly in my life :)

Ps. I wish shit was transparent and odorless.

this is hilarious

Here we go, I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this but using deodorant in between the cheeks as well as around the sack completely eliminates odor. But it's important to choose the right deodorant. I've always used (since about 9th grade) a roll on deodorant and applied it after every shower. Guys, this method is VERY EFFECTIVE. I'm able to take dumps and my butt still smells fresh. In fact, I once challenged my friends to see whose but smells the cleanest. No one wanted to play, but that's besides the point. The moral of the story is that I had the confidence to say "HEY! There's a 99% probability my butt smells better than yours."

I'm glad I'm finally able to share this with someone. Thank you for that.

hey ..i dont i know why ..but i seem to fart and not know it until comments from people around me...and thats when i know its me..i am starting a new diet...fiber enriched and am excerxising.. whats wrong with me? this has only been goin on a year...and i am sick of it! help!

==> Use water after u poop to clean.
==> Get enemas regularly. It flushes out all the shit built inside for good so even if u stick ur finger up your ass it will not stink. Try a vinegar or coffee enema. Voila.

When a person's ass stinks just a while after they have showered it's probably because they are sweating in there ass
_______
Russell the shitting queen

MAYBE THIS IS WHEN YOU NEED TO GET HELP AND ADVICE FROM A GAY MAN... IT SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE THE CLEANEST ASS HOLE IN THE HUMAN RACE. WE ACTUALLY LICK AND SUCK ON ASS HOLE FOR PLEASUR WICH MEANS THE ASS HOLE MUST BE VERY CLEAN... ALSO, WE USE DOUCHERS LIKE A WOMAN TO CLEAN OUR INSIDES TWICE A DAY TO KEEP IT FRESH FOR TAKING PIPE... TRY DOUCHING YOUR ASS OUT WITH A DOUCHER FIRST THEN TRY SHOWERING. MY DOUCHER BY CHOICE IS THE ONE BY SUMMERS EVE. GOSH! STRAIGHT MEN ARE FUCKING NASTY.

Welp, I can say that sometimes you need your anals expressed. Go to the doctors and get your anal glands expressed. Some imbreds have that problem.

Dear AC...........Do you know this from first hand experience??

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Why not wipe your arse with paraffin and then give it a once over with a blow torch, you dirty, smell-arsed skunk.

I feel your pain people. Had this problem for quit a while. Then I discovered a solution on my own. I have used it everyday for approximately six years now. problem was solved day one!! Drink a glass of metamucil every day!! problem solved

My asshole has this icky green shit ozzzing from it?? Does anyone know if that is normal? My boyfriend use to eat my ass out all the time.. now he never goes down!!.. :( Can anyone help me?

I have only recently became a Doctor and all thoug no expert yet. I would diagnose many of you of having a bad case of Xactly. That's wright, your ass smells xactly like your breath.
Much luck with your prognosis.

Try febreeze.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

After you take a poop, wipe and get into the tub and scrub with soap and water. Problem solved.

I remember seeing this This is very relevant Damon Wayan's Colonoscopy

This is the funniest thing on the internet.

Some gems:
The dude who uses a toothbrush to clean his ass.

The dude who thinks ass hair has anti-stink properties.

The people promoting Islam based on its superior ass cleaning remedies.

The dude who said "love the way a woman's butthole smells especially if she hasn't showered in a day or two."

Those that apply deodorant to their asses regularly.

The guy who wears a trash bag for underwear.

The girlfriend who douches with ProActiv to get rid of pubic acne.

Dear Poopreport,

My ass stinks. Pretty bad. This bothers me, because it bothers my boyfriend. I am not a dirty person. Every morning I shower and scrub my ass vigorously -- in the crack, even a bit in the hole, for good measure. But after one poop, the whole area reeks again. I'm a good wiper -- what is wrong with me? How can I keep my ass from smelling? Moonman was here.

I'm surprised this question has lasted so long.

I've had the same problem ever since I shaved my arse. All I can do is wait until the hairs grow back I suppose - I try and clean my arse as much as possible.

Darthwang, take your shower after your pooping.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Look man, if you poop and intend on having sex, wash your SMELLY ASS with a good soaping, and scrub it with a grainy wash cloth! If it's a chronic reeking, then see your Doc. And remember Beavis and Butthead: "I AM CORNHOLIO - I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!"

Darthwang, I suggest you go on an online dating service and check the box that says "must work for the sewer department". You'll find the right guy.

this is very serious. it's not normal for a clean ass to stink up an entire room. it's cause your ass (laugh if you want assholes) "leaks" anal fluid and it seeps down your cheeks. i have read many of the posts and i believe that anxiety, stress, and depression are catalysts for this condition. Sitting makes it worse too. I've had this problem for 2 years now and it fucking sucks. for me smoking and drinking tend to relieve some of the problem but not all of it. isn't there a fucking colon doctor on this site that knows what this shit really is cause it really is annoying and embarrassing. in my opinion it's worst than breast cancer and needs more looking into.

Sorry AC but we are not doctors, our sole purpose in life is to make fun of you. Your condition might improve if you gave up the smoking and drinking. A corncob up the poop chute might hold some of the leakage in.
Seriously..if you think you have a problem you should make an appointment to see a doctor rather than coming to a humor site. Ignoring a problem for two years does not demonstrate a great deal of intelligence on your part.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

actually i've been doing some research and found out that it could be Bowel Incontinence which is damaged anal sphincter muscle that has an impaired ability to control gas or stool. it only gets worse with age which can be corrected with surgery.

i'm sorry chiefthunderbutt. i did not know that this was a humor site. like any doctor can help me with this situation, you have to see a specialist and they cost a good deal of money. but thanks for your cooperation since you know so much about the situation. you're a great help to those in need. i find it funny that you have nothing better to do in your life than make fun of people like me. it's probably the reason why america's populace is a bunch of fucking retards. thanks for nothing

AC, it is none of your business what Chief does with his time. If he wants to make fun of people like you all day, he has that right. And creeps like you deserve it.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Way to go sister. That's my girl. Walk proud and tall. (and if you happen to pass the fridge, can you bring me a beer?)

There ya go, big bro. Oops! PD, PD, are you ok? Somebody call 911. I'm starting CPR. I'm so sorry for knocking you out. I couldn't see. Please PD! Don't leave me. (2 breaths given. I have a pulse.) 2 more breathes. PD chokes and coughs and spits out the the bottle of beer he was supposed to catch.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

AHHHCCCCCHH.............we got any chips?

i would try changing the diet and maybe try to incorporate healthier bacteria into your diet or try an anti gas medicine maybe so you expel it during the day lol

Ready? PD, catch...its your chips and dip.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Just finger it! That always helps.

People who have serious problems should not post to this site if they are expecting serious answers. (After all, you are visiting poopreport.com) In that case, you don't want to give people ammunition. There are a lot of crass jerks in this world that enjoy people's misery and are not very respectful of people's chronic problems (try walking in someone else's shoes - a lot of these people are so distraught they want to kill themselves over it). On the other hand, I have to admit some of the things people attempt on here are extreme and can be funny. (Mouthwash on your butt? Maybe for the alcohol content, but alcohol dries up your skin and makes it irritable. It makes as much sense as drinking mouthwash to get drunk)

I have had such a problem ever since I can remember. One day I actually reserved up the courage to ask my doctor about it and he blew me off. I haven't been to a doctor since. So don't expect miracles from your doctor. At least find one that acts professionally.

To the AC I made fun of (?) on 6.10.2009, If you Google poopreport.com this is what you get,
"The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor | PoopReport.com"

If you can afford to smoke and drink I think you could afford to see a doctor if you really wanted to. In the state of Tennessee you can see most specialists for a fee of about $100, just forgo a few packs of cigarettes and bottles of booze and "voila" your trip to the doctor will be paid for. I feel confident you have spent more than $100 on your vices in the last two years.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

u guys r funny

I'm a dude and I wipe from back to front. Girls can't do this 'cause they'll get shit in their already smelly fishpot. Nothing wrong in wiping this way. In fact, it's more logical than leaning to wipe. Dude's try it out.

Wear those womens undewear with a pouch in them to hold the pad in it, but instead put some nice smelling herbs in there. So even when you fart, the herb smell with come out too.

Brave Coward....Do you have any balls, and if so are they shit encrusted?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

i went to the doctor and told them about my ass smeling problem. I told them that my ass bled when I took a dump, and that there was blood on the stool as well. So they put a cam up my ass, and found polyps. well one polyp. It got remove and my ass still smells and bleeds from time to time. I don't know what else to do. is this it i'm i going to have a ass smelling problem for the rest of my life. PLEASE HELP!!

AC......I'm afraid this is it, you seem to have terminal stank ass. The best thing you can do is send all your money to...er......The Institute of Stank Ass Research (ISAR) a division of the Doggin/ThunderButt Institute of Skidology. We are low on gin and ton...er...medical supplies.

We will send you a complementary can of Glade.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

AC, if you are still seeing blood go back to the doctor. That is all I can say. If you are not satisfied then get a second opinion. Your help will come from the doctor. Sometimes you have to doctor shop before you find a decent one. And get your free can of glade from DTI.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Yes AC, and if you act right now we will double the offer. That's two free cans of glade. Just pay seperate shipping and processing.

I have had this problem off and on for 3 years.
I can't even do my job because of this now. I have went to 2 primary care and 2 gastroenterologists. The Gastro docs didnt help much. I got a colonoscopy done and they found hemmeroids. I got a cream for it but it didnt help too much although my condition has improved a good bit since the start of it several months ago. I also had over the counter probiotics which may have helped. I stopped drinking coffee, soda for some time, I think the coffee was a big problem. Also cut back on junk food. Stress may have also been a factor, also i started losing weight.
Also tried cranberry juice, galic pills, fiber supplements, fruits, vitamins.

I'll let you know if i find the silver bullet, and i hope you all will do the same. We need to support each other if we are gonna have a chance of beating this cause it doesnt seem like any scientist is researching this.
For them its either send a rocket to space or fix smelly butts. we will get no help from them we have to do it ourselves.
are you with me???

Sizzle....Just picture the humanity of the situation if the scientist end up sending several smelly butt astronauts to the space station. Perhaps after that happens they will seriously start working on a smelly butt cure.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

So, I USED to have this problem. And it all went away because I started to watch what I eat. Instead of driking soda, or anything with sugar in it. I began to drink water, and eat things like Fiber Bread which helps alot with all the water I drink. And I cut back on eating fast food, chips, chocalate. Basically anything that can make you gain weight. Also if you eat really fast, you should instead put your utensil down after every bite. For the last part, don't mix your food up that's what usually messes up your digestive system, and make it harder for your stomach to process all this and all you would really get is the feeling of going but just farting. So all you really have to do is just watch what you eat, and drink plenty of water. ALSO DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS HAIR! :)

The Shittist, you don't get road rash from shaving such a sensative area soooo often?
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

...This happends to me the day after drinking alcohol....... sometimes upto 4 or 5 days....

My butt sweats and starts smelling like if I had shitted myself........

I go to the bathroom to wipe ....and there's nothing on the TP......... WTF...!?!?

But yeah....... IT only happends after a weekend of heavy drinking....

WHY DOES THIS ONLY HAPPEND TO ME...!! and not to everyone else who drink Alot more than me...???

..........Drinking soda and drinking DOES NOT HELP...!!

Try to take a few pounds off, I'm a guy and im somewhat skinny a little chubby but unfortunately i have a huge ass(It runs in the family on my moms side), and used to try and blame it on other stuff like IBS (irritable bowle syndrome) or an ulcer, and i also tried to say i had an infection in my colon which was being ignorant because i did not see a doctor till later. All you could really do is lose weight to somewhat cure (you cant cure ass stench.. all assess smell, you can only help it) that stinky smell unless you want use little remedies for the rest of your life but the best advice i can give you is see a doctor.

I used to have an immense problem with my smelly ass, this may have been partially caused by the fact that my ass is immense. I tried everything, I stuffed my gigantic ass with toilet candies, I used only the finest perfumed toilet papers, none of these ploys worked. I was a social outcast, doomed to inhabit the fringes of society, the domain of the stinky ass guys. Then there was a breakthrough.

I befriended an otolaryngologist and my troubles soon came to an end. My new pal told me of a medical problem that he often treats that is called Anosmia or loss of the ability to smell. I have many friends now that are totally unable to detect the reek of my asshole.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

So chief the doc friend of yours performed surgery on your friends olefactory functions so they can't smell you?
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

No no sittingpretty, he didn't perform surgery because that would have allowed them to smell me if their anosmia had been corrected. this post was entered in the spirit of the appreciation of poop humor and has no basis in reality.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

chief, I can't tell sometimes. It is nothing new about me.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

My farts smell so bad that my girlfriend threatens to break up with me and her mother believes that i have rotten insides....really, i can't even stand the smell and the frequency and volume of the farts is quite surprising, i was wondering if, perhaps, i should see a doctor.

For a smelly fart, shitty asshole. no...but if you are farting excessively then yes,go to MD>
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

After I do the nasty business, the asspipe stinks the rest of the bad day. Especially when the pop is dark and has torouble flushing. After spicy meats like salami, conys, and the hotdogs is the absolute worst.

Anonymous Rotten, don't you mean it's the absolute wurst?

Good One! Maybe there is a reason why all the pork links end with that addendum

I was worried because my farts had lost their stench. I very seldom drink beer because I am diabetic but yesterday I treated myself to a six pack of Saint Pauli Girl, which was delicious, and this morning, much to the consternation of my dear wife, the stench was back. I successfully wiped out two room with one fart.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Why are you so surprised as your name is THUNDERbutt. I wouldn't expect nothing less from you.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Don't even think about trying to fix it, it won't work. Just eat shit like soda, fast foods, and junk foods for a week. Stay in bathroom after shit (even if you gag). That will de-sensitize people to the odor. Then eat normal shit like the food pyrmid, the odor won't be seem that awful.

Use antibacterial wet-wipes, otherwise you just smear crap around your ass and make it worse. They make some flushable. My sister claims she sprays antiperspirant/deodorant up there after showering. She and my mom were speaking in front of me at the time. I had to leave, lol.

I think everyone talks a good game here but no one has offered a heads up plyable solultion. First and foremost, cleaning ones butt is always a plus. But lets be real here you all. We fart, our farts stink, the stink will linger in our clothing. Every fart produces gases that have stench and moister. Moister clings to clothing. Be that it tighty whities or boxers. Now your stuck with butthole B,O.

Here is my suggestion ive done and has worked to date. Get yourself a good deoderant antipersperant just for your bunghole. Give it a swipe after you shower and or poop. Get some clear deoderant like HIGH AND DRY and rub an invisable layer of it across the crotch area of your boxers, briefs or comando pants.

Trust me guys. This will knock down those odors that have been pleaguing you all these years. We cant help human nature deals us a bad bunghole but we can address it with modern science and the revolutionary art of butt deoderants and antipersperants.

Good luck

Actually my farts don't stink at least to me --most of the time. But maybe 10% or so of the time, my fart are so bad even I gag from my own odor. They stink-up even a bigger room for 15 mintutes. Same goes for my shit, but even worse. I wonder if a paragon is living in my intestine

So, ladies and gents. Here comes Erik's solution:

1) Why smelly ass? probably combination of fungus, bacteria and STRESS.

2) Temporally solution: Real anti-perspirant spray without perfume, after shower (let it work in a couple of minutes and rinse with water, if you are going to have anal-oral sex). It has to contain Aluminium Chlorhydrate (or something aluminium-similar) - get it at the pharmacy.

3) Try shifting to the acid soap-type build on lactic acid (get it at the pharmacy).

4) Antibiotic treatment eliminates the problem only for one or two weeks, so absolutely no good.

5) Smearing the ass after shower in Vaseline or another greasy cream, seems to suffocate the aerobic bacteria, or stuff the pores or whatever happens.

**** HERE IT COMES, THE LONG TERM SOLUTION.****

I developed it intuitively, so I cannot say if some of the steps are not necessary. And of course I do not know if it works on your problem, but certainly I had the problem.

FIRST: a mild anti-fungus treatment, using Nizoral 1% shampoo against dandruff. Let it work on the entire body head-to-toe. Only rinse briefly. Do it two nights in a row.

NEXT. Antibacterial treatment. In the shower wash yourself in anti-bacterial soap (for professional medical use) head-to-toe. After bath smear your entire body including hair in one of the new anti-bacterial water-free hand gel products.

If your skin gets red and itchy after the treatments smear it in ordinary lotion, or if not helping use anti-fungus cream like Canesten. (in general, if your crutch itch, smear it daily in lotion, this helps a lot)

THIRD. Now you have eliminated or reduced fungus and bacteria. Next step is building up with new "good" bacteria. You have to use, not yoghurt, but the more advanced breakfast yoghurt-like products containing both L. acidophilus and bifido-bacteria.(we get it in North Europe, I don’t know about rest of the world). First night use it as a cream head-to-toe including hair, ears, nose drills etc. Let it dry and sleep in it. Also smear some up in the inner ass as long as your finger reaches.

FOURTH. the first week smear natural bifido in the crutch region (ass, balls, dick, vagina). Also eat a portion morning and evening (but please: keep it separate !)

FIFTH. Constantly ever after, eat a portion a day of the bifido product daily (natural or with fruits added). At least I do not dare stopping right now, however might try later on.

SIXTH: If you have had anal-oral sex, or maybe sex at all, being exposed to strangers bacteris, after treat by smearing bifido product in the crutch region.

SEVENTH: Eat decently. Don’t be a twart: fibres, fruits and vegetable are sound food. Doesn’t mean you cant have a pizza or burger or cake occasionally. But in general, remember it is not only your ass that is stinking, it is YOU !!

Finally. I have no idea if the pre-treatment with anti-fungus and antibacterial are necessary. So go ahead and experiment, jump directly to the bifodo product - for sure that seems to be the thing that helps long term... (and a fin-finally disclaimer: I have only been "cured" for 1½ month, so of course I do not know about he future)

Good Luck
Erik

This is funny, I read comments and it cracks me up lol.

Great job, Anonymous. And now that you've dragged yourself out of the ocean onto the beach, try taking a deep breath of air and see if you can use those fins to locomote.

I;m a young lady who has ass probelms also. THe thing is I shit and wipe until i bleed with tissue and wipes. Then a few hours later i have a feeling of sweaty shit in my ass I go and check and i wipe with a wipe and theres more shit!! How can that be if i wiped until it was nothing hours before?? Somegtimes I take a shower right after and shit be on the towel. SOmetimes it lasts 2 days I wasj and yet my ass still stinks. help!!! I'm 140 pounds 22 years old >:

well i have the same smell to
smelling like shit at work and school
some stay away others try to be friendly start to talk 2 me. My shit smell started back in middle skull first started like a dead fish smell and then a year past then it was shit mell. don't want 2 include god in this but me? why this? tried doing everything more underware, more shorts under pants, deo. on my hole and sprayed alot of perfume but still this smell rises in a few minutes and it starts 2 smell. I had all sorts of inbearising moments like in middle skull girl told me i smelled like shit everyday, in 8 grade i sat infront of the class and the teacher couldn;t handle my smell so every morning she would open the door but still this smell came and class mates in back of me usto make paper fans and use them in my my direction towards my back. Shit i felt like suicide my self.But stop and thinked why should my life be bad cuz of this and just everyday i tell my self ur strong and be a man achieve your goal.when i entered high school i was diffrent my mood and style changed to a crazy,bad,sensative of people been around me and i started making my life turn bad. Some student in class told me i smelled and punched hi right their. Girls ingnored me so i did the same lived my life till now with out love in my hart o soul don't matter.Started cutting classes cuz one of my classes usto hate going cuz everybody usto look at me weird and rumors and emveresing i felt. almost every one in my school new i smelled like shit so then i just droped out and i think my life will be a mess cuz their woun't be no love only hatred and pain to remember and pain to be done. I think now im what they call syco i entered a evil into my brain. I see my self in prison for my years to come. thoughts and thoughts circle around my brain and feelings trying to hide but soon they will be released. fuk every one making fun of this sickness

AC, noone is making fun of you here. Have you told your parents how much the smell is ruining your life? Ask them to take you to the doctor. It is terrible that the other children make fun of you. I feel really bad for you. You could have a bad fungus infection all this time that is making you stink. It happens, and you need to keep trying doctors until you find the answer and get healed. The way I see it, it is the only way to go--the doctor. It would be horrible for you to end up in jail over a shitty smell. You definitely need to be in school. Ask your mother to make an appointment with the pediatrician today. You are very depressed over this, not psycho. You are a good kid. I can tell. You don't belong with the bad kids where there is no love. You are not a bad kid,just a kid who need adults to listen and help you.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I hope someone can help me. Last week at work I felt the old poop tickle and knew I had to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool. I let er rip but smelled the most horrible odor. When I looked into the shitter it was nothing but dark blood! I have shit nothing but this tarry blood stuff for 4 straight days. Hell, I'm even starting to feel a little weak and rundown. Is this a bad thing or should I just ignore it? I actually kind of like the smell now but I'm feeling weak and tired and my fever hasn't dropped below 103 for 4 days. Should I just man up and forget about it?

my bulldog farts and it stinks sooo bad, it woke me up out of my sleep one night. like what the hell!! lol

AC on 9/16/09, go to the emergency room NOW. You are bleeding internally somewhere high up in the GI tract. You also may have a bad infection brewing as well. So go to ER right now. Then, when you get back, let us know how you are doing.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Deodorant, wet wipes, shaving,and cleaning the A-Hole. I'm going to religiously try this.

After sitting for long hours playing poker my ass starts to stink of shit. Same goes for school.

Now I'll take extra care to wipe my ass and prevent sweat from running down my ass.

How do you shave your ass anyway?

im f*ckin pissed my asshole gets a lil sweaty n has this nasty smell i dont know why or how can anyone plz help me its f*ckin annoying

Dear shitting myself.....I would recommend that you get a pair of dark glasses, a white cane and a dog. Then when you are out in public people will be nice to you since they will think you are handicapped, also you can blame the smell on the dog.

AC who posted 09.19.2009....If I were you I would make an appointment to see Dr. Cliff Huxtable, You should not make any comments about his kids while he is sticking things up your ass.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

i had it and and after months of sitting around the house in denail i decidied to do something bout it. i took a hot bath and sat in it for about twenty minutes to an hur. after soaking i scrubbed my tight ass hole than rinsed it. ive been doing this every day for six months and the smell is gone, but still take baths anyway because its so relaxing and good for you skin, ridding it of toxins and stuff

This site is fuc.king hilarious! haha wtf!

What is the point of a buttplug? Never quite got that one... hmmmmm

Look up "GG Allin"... he is a punk rocker who eats his own poop on film, no joke! (Oh, and "2 girls, one cup") ...soooo nasty!

OK... Everyone's ass STINKS!!!
You can't change it, you can buy the most expinseve stuff, it still gonna smell like shit!
Take 2 showers a day hon lol not one! 1 in the morning & one a night.

My problem is not so much that my ass stinks, i just get the classic swamp ass and have to stop wherever i am to wipe my ass, its like an oil rig in my ass.

wish this prob would go away but idk how we jus gotta pray and try diff. things and for people making fun of us people with this problem i hope you all stop and think if it was yourself cuz trust me your whole life changes my fam tells me it aint true but its when i get around other ppl when i feel diff. ppl has said things to me it started in 5thgrade and i dropped out when i turned 16 it was like being tortured being at school all those years and not saying anything to my fam. when i was 18 i finaly told my mother and she said i was nuts mabey i was paraniod but i knew ppl was saying things now i dont work cuz im to paranoid to b around any1 its just like the devil has me in a choke hold i wish it will all change soon i have tears in my eyes now i will chek back in soon

try preparation H... i did inserted 4 in one day and it went away... im happy i dnt stink anymore!!!

It's called a fucking enema, I will guarantee you it will help. Go turn the shower on, and fill up an enema, while the shower is heating, take your shit, and get into the shower, put the enema in your ass. Next once you have filled your body with warm water, lay on your back in the shower and massage your intestines for about 2 minutes. Get out of the shower, sit on the toilet again, and shit out the water. Chances are you will see tons more shit come out. If you repeat this 1-3 times everytime you take a shower, the smell goes away. Just make sure to soap and rinse after you are done. Also be careful, as if you do this long enough, your body will NEED the enema to take a shit.

some of the shit here is funny. root is a sick owrd. wham bam thank you mam, holy shit this is funny. good tips here. lol i love how the name says anonmous coward. crap theres like 4 pages or this or more.

I've been sitting here reading this to my wife in the other room. She says I should stick my finger in my ass hole so she can take a wiff.

AP....If your wife is in the next room wouldn't you need an exceptionally long arm??

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Cut ur finger nails as short as possible.Dont use toilet paper just after poop u will rub it everywhere, clean it instead with fresh running water how? you can use a special flex shower head with release button made specially 4 asses.Wash ur ass thorougly on the seat with it.When its clean wipe/dry it with toilet paper until its not yellowish.Go to any asian market and ask 4 a lotta if ur budget is tite. There are also specail toilet type things available just 4 cleaning asses.

born 2 die.....I went to my local Asian Market and asked for a "Lotta", they immediately asked me, " a lotta whatta?"

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

type lota in google images u will see a lot of em select nose length pending how long it will take 4 lota 2 reach ur assO.not all muslims use this especially ung buggers r filthy,find it in a muslim plastic shop who sell buckets etc. Islam is a religion of peace harmony and cleaniliness.told u fing ceturies ago who u r learning 2day

ianforest.....I approved your comment in hopes that someone will come along and explain what you are trying to say. I followed your advice and did a Google image search for lota and got pictures of an elephant named Lota?????

In case your spelling of lota was meant to be lotta I Googled that also and got a much more pleasing picture, titled whole lotta booty.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I think you're on the right trail there. Please do some more research, and I am confident we will get to the bottom *wink wink* of this lotta thing. Please post any other pict....erm facts you uncover.

Your esteemed colleague,
Dogginberg

lots of latay there as well. thanks i dont need more research about dumb asses

http://images.google.co.uk/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=lota&btnG=Search+Images&gbv=2&aq=f&oq=

born2die....I didn't understand your comment either, I am just bogged down in 20th century English and punctuation, and have little understanding of 21st century speak. I Googled latay and got this. Is this the latay you are talking about?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief I can not understand why a man of your intelligence doesn't speak or read idiot,that has to be what born2die is speaking.If I can find where you can take this as a second language I will enroll us both and PD I am sure he would want to tag along.That way the three of us can understand born2die.

Posted my comments to help build confidence for people with real issues who feel low self esteem as I read a few in this forum. It was not meant to be 4u anyway who think its just 4 fun. I don't care about you or your standard of shite language. Goodbye

Born, couple of things. first, your name certainly doesn't lend to credibility, and your composition certainly doesn't bespeak of someone with any knowledge....lose the text speak, write in an intelligible manner, you would stand a better chance of being taken seriously.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

OIC, I did not realize that I was sitting in a SAT examination again but this time on a TS. Do good deeds and we are born2die not born2live. I fink think it was betta oops better name than a few others. Please dont take me seriously but take me S*** serious as this stinks a lot thats what lead me to this forum any way wink wink. I found solution through this forum and I had poop in the morning which did not smell like poop...lol

Hi i am from turkey and im 14 years old, can someone help me? my ass stinks and i take a shower 2 times a day and i dont wana use weird stuff.. i smell like shit at school and i embrass my self but people dont even smell it, its weird i have been recently smelling weird stuff.. my brother says i dont smell... but i smell my ass!!! is it me or my ass?

Dear MYASSSTINKS......The solution to your problem is simple, you must quit eating lauki kofta, that is the source of your stinky ass. Eat southern style beans and cornbread and your ass will smell sweet, just like mine.

born2die....I am sorry to inform you that your level of ability to communicate in writing seems to be getting worse and worse, you should quite while you are at least partially understandable.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Ok so apart from washing your ass hole real good and wiping like crazy does any 1 actually know of a remedy or diet or anything that can help with the problem because I have like 40 min showers wich are almost always devoted to my ass twice a day. I wipe with tolight paper, then with wet wipes, and then with a soap covered rough wash cloth. I wear ass powder and gell and dedoraunt and yet still people tell me of this horrible shit stench which plagues me. Not to mention just recently I got my asshole waxed to see if that would help and what do u know it did nothing. I'm 16 this is mnopt normal, I can't go on living like this, I need help now. Plz If any 1 has had this problem and has found a solution It would make the most unbelievable difference to my life if you could share it with me and any others who suffer from the ass stink.

Chief Thundry Butt: The thunders that came out off u are the results of the anger u carry inside u for others. It does happen when a lot of super charged n super cool alcohol particles collide with hot beans and corn bread molecules whilst truck driving.
Avoid this to keep other road user safe and b a responsible member of a** society.

Oh damn....born, you were so close.I'm sure you can spell "you" and "be". C'mon, kid, I know you can do it.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Dear born.....You are hilarious. The main reason I come to poop report so often is to read the great comedy masterpieces written by educated persons like your august self. You will probably receive scholarships to Oxford, or some other great university that recognizes you extraordinary abilities as a word-smith and the immaculate flow of your syntax.

You should probably move your place of residence to Stratford on Avon where you will be viewed as a reincarnation of the famous Bard of Avon.

Since this is primarily a site dedicated to poop humor your comments are well received. Keep up the good work.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief: Sry M8 Was Only Kiddin. U R Gr8 guys. Wish you all the best with Gr8 Poop Work on this Site. Bulgepump I am learning
A for Apple
B for BulgePump
C for Chief
Z 4 ..... forgot.....LMFAO

Don't forget that PH is for poop humor....That's what we try to be about :D

Oh..by the way B is for Bilgepump...only in his wildest dreams is he Bulgepump....:D

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Bilgepump's head is growing so big that it has become a bulgepump.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

People, don't know if it works but a saw an ad for A spray that claims that their antibacterial formula will desrtoy odors on you ass or dick etc. Strongly recommend you try it. Haven't my self because it's only available in the US and I can't order it cause my parents won't give our credit card details to any site. Once again It's called A spray. heres a link to their site if you want to order it. Check it out.

www.buyAspray.com

Please write back and tell me if this works. It could just be the answere to our ass stinking problems.

I don't know if it works, but that's the funniest add I've seen in ages!!!

Thanks, William, for the comment. It's a doozy.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

I have a stinky ass. and stinky breathe. and a smelly tooth. please, i dont know what to do. there has got to be somebody out there. please. I cant take it anymore. my girlfriend said she is going to leave me because she hates having to take a day off work to scrub my colon. She says its me or the ass. please. help. i have now even been having a problem with a "smelly tooth". help. omfg please. it smells like shit, my girlfriend has been looking everywhere for a strong enough toothpaste that will dissolve the shit. i mean, its like a skunk has layed a turd on my tongue. My dogs ass even gags when i speak. help, im so desperate. i go to church and pray , this evil wont leave. the vicar says i need a miracle.

You need a dentist, Da Shit Man!
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Let the poor shit rest in peace. People have used that to promote their products on this site to make money. Go and dive in poop ocean money freaks.