To avoid the shit anxieties, I used to start taking a laxative on friday evening through saturday morning and saturday evening. My belly would get huge and painful early on Then I would finally start the poopathon on sunday night. That was before I started miralax. An actual coax manuever, that I do, is a rectum rocking motion, like a rectal anal sphincter dance. It works on small pieces that are half in and half out.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Just bring a picture of Rosie Odonnell or Whoopie Goldberg in the shitter with you. If that doesn't have you blasing mud in 2 seconds, you better call the doctor.

johnjohn, have you considered employing the services of an Indian snake charmer? I'm sure you could get one at a reasonable price these days.

PD, those jobs have been out-sourced to Indonesia and Sri Lanka...getting a real Indian snake charmer is horribly expensive...I think they're part of the Teamsters.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

You're probably right Bilge. Unfortunately, I don't play the pungi so I can't help him. Maybe a good guitar (hint hint) player would work.

Almost had me....'til I got to that "good" part...I'm afraid my playing would just drive the beast further into it's hideout.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Let me know if you've tried this one already...it's a technique called "colon massage". Basically, you lay on your back and press on your belly in a certain pattern to push everything down to your rectum so you can take a good ol' crap. I've tried it when my guts are being slowpokes and it works pretty well.

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

Ok how do you do a colon massage?
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Mange du merde et meurt

CEP I think you forgot to add that the Rosie O'Donnell picture should be one of her naked and jumping rope. Not only is it a rare photo but it should scare you shitless.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

I look at my quarterly 401-K report.

MMC, I think I need to get some eye-bleach for that mental image.
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Turdlehead--A colon massage is done pretty much like any other massage, except following the length and path of the colon.

Starting at lower right of abdomen (near appendix area--where your colon starts) you massage upward to the just under the rib cage, then across, then down the left side of your abdomen toward the poop chute.

You should probably be lying on a bed or other comfortable flat surface. Some recommend using oil and working with your fingers, some say roll your fist to do the massaging. You decide which works better for you.

Here are the Google results for better instructions and even videos showing you how to do it.

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How I beat IBS

I've tried the colon massage-it doesn't work for me. But that doesn't mean it doesn't work, because it does. Just not on me.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Your colons are spoiled ladies. I don't massage my colon. The next thing it will be expecting is a sauna and a seaweed wrap. It hardly does anything for me anyway, so when it's time to move a little shit along, it damn well knows it better do it.

I only found out about this particular technique toward the very end of my IBS days, but it did feel good the few times I tried it.

I felt like it deserved the pampering, especially after such abuse.

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How I beat IBS

"Recently" and "lifelong" are different things. Treat the anxiety. The poo will take care of itself.

Johnjohn. Go see a shrink first. Sounds like you shaould have done it years ago.

Yeah I went to a therapist for a bit a few years ago for anxiety. There is more work to do on that end but was unable to go into the second phase of it between time and the economy being bad can be expensive if not covered by insurance. Over the years anxiety has surfaced in different forms with me. This is it's current form now with the poop anxiety. After writing this post about my problem I experienced over a month long bliss of what I consider normal shitting. Perfect for days. This site and it's various opinions and vast archives helped me to relax and understand, and deal, with it however the worries still come and go about be able to go or whatever. Last week ended the month long shitting bliss when I ate something that didn't agree with me or something it was not a virus but something I ate and took nearly 3 days to get it out of my system. It really was not that bad but 5 alarm red alert went off in my head and I was obsessed with worrying about it until I returned to "normal" and currently am fine but keep worrying it's gonna come back even though I am perfectly healthy at the moment. I know for sure that there is nothing physically wrong with me. It's all in the head. Thank you to all for your opionions.