Cancel the vitamins and see if that helps. Most normal people don't need them anyway.

Maybe try some stool sofener? I dunno.

phatmanxxl has given good advice, try Metamucil or something similar, if this gives you no relief you should see your doctor.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, you surprise me - I thought you would have prescribed the all round miracle cure called kimchi!

I've found that using certain words invites all manner of trouble. So, stop calling them "poopies" and see if that helps.

PS. How's that, Bilge?

Have your gall bladder removed and eat a lot of greasy food. You'll never be constipated again.

I don't know what I was thinking about T-box, kimchi is good for many ailments, the 'Korean penicillin'.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I think I would need more information about the birth in order to determine anything. Did you tear and there for have to be sown back up, were you now or previously on pain relievers for said tearing? I definately agree with the stopping vitamins for the time being and having some Metamucil. When I had my 4th baby I got terribly backed up from the pain meds I had to take after word and the only thing that helped was Metamucil and a stool softner. Also try to really watch what you eat in terms of dairy that could be another problem right now. I would try the home remedy of Metamucil and stool softner for a week and if it doesn't inprove please see your doctor.
I also hope your not forcing these giants out because you'll either drop your uterus out or develop hemmoroids.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

Logjam, you neglected "poo-baby", but otherwise, a nice shot. You are to be commended...I'll see to it that Daphne gets right on that.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Stay away from the rice and cheese. You might also want to try some Metamucil.

If that doesn't help, then try cursing at and beating on your husband for getting you into this awful mess. Oh, wait a second, that's what your supposed to do in the delivery room when the little one is crowning. Well, maybe it works for pooping also.
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My special need's student crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Heh. I almost broke Mr. daphne's thumb while delivering Thing Two. It was the least I could do.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Drink more water! Its the most natural softner you can get and most people don't drink enough anyway. Also eat less for just a little while. Its an unusual problem in that most people wish they could get that much out in solid form. wow. I'm one of em.

Dont force it too much. If u really dont already have hemrhoids thats a sure way to get em. I got em with my first kid. You DO NOT want to go down that road. Even waterpoops hurt then. I'd stick with the stool softeners too. If ur still takin pain meds that can make droppin the cosbys more difficult. Just remember, if ur breastfeeding u'll be softening ur mini me's stools too. But they're already seedy little mustard poops anyway so u should be ok. Lol. Good luck!

So sad to see so much bad advice. Fiona, you can believe me or not but I am a physician. Not in practice. Mostly retired. You say you don't have hemorrhoids but I almost guarantee you, you are wrong. Few women get through the birthing process without developing some though they may be completely internal. You may also have developed a fissure between your vagina and your rectum. Or ... well there are several "or"s. The main thing here is any time you see fresh blood in your stool, you should forgo asking for advice on an internet blog and start asking advice from your doctor. It's likely your tough stools are causing some internal hemmies to bleed. It's unlikely but possible you have colon cancer. Wanna chance it?

It's unfortunate that you say that there is bad advice here AC. Admittedly on this thread you are the first to say it, but almost every time a person asks Poop Report to enquire about anal pain, blood in the stool, piles or indeed any abnormality, the advice almost every time is "see a doctor rather than searching for answers on the internet". I think I speak for all of us when I say that this is primarily a poop humour site and therefore some comments are deliberately facetious, but the regulars here consider health to be of paramount importance and almost always advise anyone who has a concern to seek medical attention.

at least you can manage to go !!...i got the day off tomorrow and im going to spend the whole day straining ...you never know ...i may be lucky ...but i just cant go at the moment ..and ive tried about 10 times today , getting desperate !!!

Dear Plugged Up:
I am with you! Try metamucil or citricel or the like twice a day (ugh, I know!) and a stool softener to get it all moving. Drink lots of water, eat salads and exercise 5x a week if you can. Not a great life, but better than your ass being glued to the toilet. Been there brother, stay strong.

Try Colace stool softener, and sit on a inflatable "donut" to soothe your poor ass.

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Piece Out!
Crapola

Spin the wheel,
Wait wait. Just so I understand what you are saying. You are saying that eating healthy, getting plenty of fluids, and exercise is NOT a great life? What planet are you from? A) I consider a healthy life a great life, and B) I say that being able to shit as opposed to bring in constant pain is also living the great life
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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Try standing upside down before you go, the gravity allows the poop to fall back down and thin itself so you will no longer have to worry about this thing anymore.
And maybe you still have some of your baby's crap still inside of you and you are still clearing everything out...gross

Hello, Fiona,
Has your situation changed yet? Have you seen your doctor yet? If so, what did he tell you? Whatever it is, you can't just keep straining like that without having some not-so-favorable consequences. Pooping is supposed to be a reasonably normal, even pleasant experience, and I hope you are approaching or having that by this time.

Mrs. Schitt is preggo right now and her pre-natals plugged her up for a while. If you are still on those try some fish oil, it worked for her.