I don`t know, I`ve never shoved anything up my ass before so I can`t comment from experience, but I`d say all that a chapstick would achieve would be to grease up your hoop.

Inserting an iced lolly (popsicle?) would probably bring more relief....if you were that desperate.

Maybe if theres such a thing as menthol Chapstick. According to the Wackypedia, menthol has local anaesthetic and counter-irritant properties, so it'd be worth a try.
I don't think shoving a Kool or Alpine cigarette up there would have the same effect, though.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

I had a hemorrhoid attack while in military service. The doctor told me to stick an ice cube up my ass. It was quite chilly but had a soothing effect after numbness set in. Never heard of chapstick being used on anything but lips. I'm in agreement with T-box that it would probably do no more than lube you winker. Of course that could be more comfortable than a
dry hole.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I too iced my ass during a bout with a wild Category 4 hemorrhoid. It didn't help. Read my Poop Report called Hurricane Adjuta. Brownie did a hell of a job :)

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Piece Out!
Crapola

No comment on this one

Thanks Crapola for sharing your story with us in the comment section. I enjoyed reading it.

Although a little off topic I though you might enjoy this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtsBi4T7Z3E .

Lipsalve that the guy refers to is a brand name of chapstick.

Enjoy!

It could have been worse....the guy could have deplaned, rushed to a Chinese restaurant, and shoved a chopstick up his ass.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I wanna say that I've heard chapstick being used for hemorroids, but what is the cure all down here in the south is Raleigh's medicated ointment. I've used it for everything from a head cold, to growing pains, to a raw asshole. I would imagine it'd work for hemorroids as well. If nothing else, it'd make your butthole all nice and tingly.

"I kissed a girl an' I liked it...
Tastes of her cherry chapstick..."

I don't think I can hear that song again now (probably a blessing) without wondering if the chapstick had at any stage been up someone's arse.

well at least its better than licking your chapped asshole.

OUCH! At least he didn't use paper clips...

That was great, Maximus. I love comedy from the isles. In fact, the only late night show I ever end up watching from time to time is Craig Ferguson's.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

That movie was "Nobody's baby" with Gary Oldman

He used chapstick because he was out of ben-gay.

Thanks, Anon!

Here's the IMDB link

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

One time I was in a dual with a battered and complaining asshole... tried out some blueberry flavored chapstick stuff. It helped the problem, but certainly not enough to be called a "relief"!

I remember, quite some time ago, asking my boss if he used chapstick on his ass. I was concerned that he might be having chapping problems due to excessive butt kissing. Terrible... I show interest in someone's health, and get fired for it.

I wipe a lot and get very irritated. I use Carmex all the time. It has just enough menthol. Other menthol products like Bengay are very painful. I put a little on a wad of tp and wipe with it. I bought a box of the larger Carmex pots when my pharmacy discontinued them a closed them out. I don't know what I'll do when I use them all. I don't like the little pots.

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Hey, shit and pee? No problem. You add vomit - forget it."

A painful "men"thol product called Ben Gay?!?!?!
I think I'd rather have bum grapes.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Sorry that wasn't clear. I don't use Bengay. Not at all comfortable. I only use Carmex.

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Hey, shit and pee? No problem. You add vomit - forget it.

First comment: If someone puts the tube of Chapstick on his anus, I'd say that would be its only "theater of action" from then on; it should surely not touch his lips.

Second: Our son, at age 1 or so, got the Ben-Gay and put a little on his lips; he screamed with pain. I can only imagine--and I don't want to know--what sort of pain it would inflice on an already inflamed anus.

Third: Probably the gentlest useful product with menthol in it is Noxzema (or a store brand of something similar). Just a little dab on the last pad of toilet paper you use after a b.m., rubbed in well, feels good and cleanses; and the jar lasts for months, maybe a year.

Sorry, I meant inflict, not inflice; don't know that verb; it likely has to do with our thread on white worms and things.

Years ago, I was into martial arts (wasn't everybody?), and the dojo used to reek of a product called Tiger Balm.
From memory, Tiger Balm was mostly camphor and menthol, with a few other herbs and oils mixed in. It was wonderful on torn muscles and such, butt I wouldn't dare put it near a poop chute, swollen or not.
Probably like Vicks Vapo-rub.
(Old joke- do not mistake it for Vaseline).
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Here is a product that would probably get rid of bung grapes by burning them off. Watkins liniment is mostly alcohol and according to a few people I knew who were around during the prohibition of alcohol some people actually drank it.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

A colo-rectal surgeon told me that anything that can go on your lips can go on your anus. My gramps used to put Ben-gay on my thumb to stop me from sucking it.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I used to stick cigars between my lips sp, are you saying I could have also enjoyed them by sticking them up my butt?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Ha ha chief, no. I meant balms, ect.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Damn....I just wasted a $20 corona. Would anyone like a good deal on a slightly used cigar?

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Give it to Bilgepump as he would like the flavoring.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I'm not a cigar aficionado, either before or after Monica Lewinski. I am, however, intrigued by SP's minty tasting ass.

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

MSG got me started.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

And I got started by thinking of something cheaper than Balneol . . . I wonder if some sort of oil (olive oil, canola, etc.) inserted into the anus might ease constipation--anyone tried it?

Drinking olive oil eases constipation.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

WD-40?

Yes, chapstick helps... but not by shoving it in entirety up the pooper.. and DONT use mint-stick - it just burns. I find cherry works the best. But i load up a q-tip with some chapstick, then apply it (after cleaning)to the affected area, not inside, but on the outterpart. it relieves the itch and burning, i have no evidence of it shrinking the hemorrhoids... but it relieves the symptoms. i find that after a few days it doesnt bother me any more for a while...

hope that helps.