Hmmmm I have had FLEAS but NEVER worms! I've also had mice. I guess all that booze kills the worms.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

My cat has worms for now (tapeworms, which are not serious)

I consider the years I spent married to my first wife a "worm experience" but can't bring myself to describe them in detail.

There is a foul beast inside me, but I don't know exactly what it is. All I know is that it has a blender, and a canister of high pressure methane gas.

I'm not entirely sure, but I may have inadvertently wiped with cat-in-labor, and may have accidentally wedged one of those kittens 'twixt my cheeks, whereupon it proceeded to re-enter what it considered its "womb". Its not noticeable, most of the time, there are moment of extreme discomfort, accompanied by some outrageous howling, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.

I currently am trying to pass a kidney stone.
Feels like a foul beast to me.

Bilge, crack open(!) a tin of tuna, and smear that stinky stuff around your, not unsubstantial behind. The little beggar will be out within the blinking of ones eye._______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

Either that or send a rottweiler in after it.

I think a kitten up the ass is something to consider before undergoing a cure. At a minimum, it's a new angle to explore in picking up chicks.

You're right LJ, girls love kittens and puppies. Maybe we need to help Bilge with a catchy pickup line.

LJ, picking up chicks? how?
'hey honey, wanna see some tail?'
or,
... actually I dont have an 'or', help me out here wouldja, If stuffing a small pussy up my tradesmans is gonna get me laid, I need to know how. (Dont tell the Baroness though)_______
like a constipated accountant- I worked it out with a pencil.

I contracted ringworm on my skin, once and I got diarrhea from the fleas of a kitten that I found in a field at a horse barn. That diarrhea made me pass out in the hall naked from the waste down. No pinworms ever.

How 'bout (bending over cheeks spread)...wanna pet my pussy? Sorry, wrong bar.

How about 'Go deep enough and win a prize ;)'

I still think your talking about the wrong kind of bar Poonanza.

worms? me? no.

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I was never good at pick-up lines so please don't use any of these, Bilge, without running them by a pro. But...

-I don't mean to alarm you, but if something suddenly comes out from between my legs -- furry, about 10 inches long -- you're more than welcome to pet it.

-I'm taking a chance here, but .... do you like kittens?

-I really shouldn't have anymore to drink. The little sweety living inside me just can't tolerate much. (Every woman wants a man who can truly empathize with the pregnancy thing.)

-I promise. Rub right here and I'll purr.

Once she's seen it, you can tell her: "It was the runt of the litter; now it's the grunt in the shitter" which maybe she'll think is kinda cute.

Oh great, LJ, now I have a Life Saver (Pep-o-mint) stuck to my monitor. You bastard.

Lifesavers. A part of living, Bidge, a part of living.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Well, I was going to comment on my experience with pinworms as a child, or the time I dreamed an octopus climbed up my ass, but the conversation in the comments above me is just too fucking funny!

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Born right the first time.

Either all of you are geniuses or have ALOT of time on your hands..... haha

TSV. I, for one, am dying to hear about the octopus up your ass. At the time you had the dream, were you working for several bosses at once? (And Grey_Poopon: either/or? This site requires both.)

I'm intrigued as well, TSV...I dreamed of squid, and I would love to see the similarities, if any, regarding your octopus.

As for Grey_Poopon, I am/have neither...I'm the PR village idiot, far too busy doing stupid things to be clever.

Good Lord. Check out this video of an octopus getting through a 1" dia hole. If it could get out, it could get in. TSV, I may never go in the ocean again. Thanks, honey.

If I could, I'd change my freshwater tank over to salt water and get an octopus. The smaller species you can purchase now can live fairly well in captivity and make wonderful pets. There's one in the fish store in Tacoma who will sit on a black and white checkered board and match it. He's neat as hell.

However, since I don't know alot about salt water tanks yet, it would be a risk getting one. I'd feel horrible if I couldn't care for him properly.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Okay, LJ, now you just made my nightmare all that much more creepy. Thanks a lot!

This video is almost as bad as the Japanese hentai clip my sister once showed me. Ever seen the movie Octopussy?

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Born right the first time.

pnuttycorn, I hope you pass that kidney stone on your own and don't have to have surgery as I did (twice); the surgery was bad enough, but the aftermath was worse, including catheterization. Very hard to poo at all with a catheter installed. After going four days with no b.m.(unheard of for me), I had to use manual disimpaction once and later had to poo in a slight hover position, nearly standing up; it still felt sharp and hard coming out and was a terrible effort. No fun at all.

Please, do tell the octapus dream?

i had amoebic dysentery in the peace corps. it was horrible. shitting 12 times a day. shitting blood. shitting my brains out. lost 40 pounds in four months. not a fan of the amoebic dysentery.

I personally haven't but I no of some1 who has had tapeworms...the damn worm hosted on him forever and he didn't even realize it was there till one day while taking a #2 this worm started coming out of his bung! He said he felt something wiggly and kinda slimy feeling and that it seemed his terd would never end well he looked between his legs and to his suprise there was this worm....he grabbed some toilet paper,tried to grag the thing,and it broke off and sucked back up his butt faster then an italian slurping spaghetti! needless to say the poor fella freaked out,went to the doc...and was treated but he ended up so sick....

I had pinworms when I was 12, and my dad told me to eat lots of carrots. It was my only meal for about a week, and to this day I still have trouble eating them....
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I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

I think i have worms, been to 5 different docs and they all dont believe me. I feel something moving around down there, itchy and find small white sesame seeds down there too. i tried mebendazole for a week and it still there. Tonight is took 2 huge Dolpac pills, they are for dogs (it says striclty animal use only) but this is what im reduced too now. Any advice. ---- the next step fluching my ass out with bleach

i had a bag of gummy worms, does that count ?

Its a well documented fact that alcohol kills worms.
I recommend a night on the piss, drinking just straight spirits. (Drambuie does it for me).
Get together with some friends, a bottle of your favorite spirit, and choose somewhere that you can hose the puke away in the morning.
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The white zone is for loading and unloading only- FZ.

Drambuie? Backs against the wall, lads! ;-)

Everyone I knew as a child had worms at one time or another. It was part of growing up in the south, running around barefoot picking up hook worm eggs. I seem to have read that the Mexican herb epazote deters worms from living in you. I have also read that having a case of worms actually boosts your immune system.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Chief, I'd like to boost my immune system, but having a whole case of worms might be a bit much to choke down. Can I get by with a can or two?

Tapeworms, although I've never had them and I have no wish to, are rather fascinating things. They can live in the gut for up to 25 years, frequently grow up to 40 feet in length, in some cases much longer; longer in fact than the gut that they live in, with some areas of it's body folded and curled many times over. They can absorb undigested food through the surface of the their entire length of their bodies.

One of the fave tales of a life in film told by John Irvin the British film director (Hamburger Hill, Raw Deal, etc) is an incident that occurred when filming The Dogs Of War in Yeman. An arab technician had a tapeworm and suffered terribly, but they laid him face down on the bonnet (hood) of a Land Rover and somehow managed to coax the head of the worm from the poor chap's anus, whereby another fellow wound the worm around a pencil which he turned gently, like reeling in a fishing line. The operation took several hours and required the chap to remain absolutely motionless for fear that any sudden movement would cause the body to snap, retreat back inside and grow another head (a groundless fear. Once the head is off, it's dead). The worm eventually was coiled over two pencils, full to overflowing, and was as long as a cricket pitch (20m long).

Roundworms are similarly disgusting. Although a rare occurrance, those who have particularly bad infestations have been known to see their stomach contents writhing on the floor when they vomit.

PD.....Perhaps infestation would have been a better choice of words.....although if you consume stinkheads while in Nome you will probably be able to harvest a case of worms later. Come on down for a fishing trip sometime this spring.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

If I don't get a worm infestation, can we still go noodling?

*shudders in anticpation of answer* What's noodling?
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The Original Grasshopper

Google it. It won't bite. You wanna go with us?

I'm a bit wary of googling anything...you know what, I'll take my chances...

Um. 'kay then, I have plans for whatever day you're going.XD
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The Original Grasshopper

We got a six-incher out of our (now deceased) cat once. Okay, so she barfed it up, but still -- pretty impressive for someone her size.

I had a weiner dog once that had worms it shit out one that was over 12 inches long.
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Earth, insane asylum for the universe.

My cat, Maude, had swollen impacted anal glands once. When I looked at her butt hole, I thought I saw a big gray worm. It was her swollen rectal mucus membranes. I was supposed to put medicine on her hiney hole but she wouldn't let so she had to sleep at the vets for a few days. A six inch hair ball is quite impressive and worthy of being named and saved.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17