Use the clean and jerk.

Dear Billy Bob......I suggest you
carry a sling blade with you, it chops turds, heads, almost anything.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I always carry an industrial strength hand-held food blender - never fails.

Just give your turd a name, smile and walk away. It'll provide the next visitor with a friendly welcome :)

Install a garbage disposer...

In all seriousness, see a doctor. You shouldn't be crapping every three days, you should be crapping everyday. This might be a dietary issue, or a gastrointestinal issue, either way talk to actual doctor who might know, rather then a bunch of assholes spewing shit on this site.

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Always,
Craven Morhead

Thank you CM for providing the serious advice for a potentially serious problem.

Now for the business at hand:
Billybob, dead lift those brown dumbells from the toilet, and after doing a few curls, take a good fiberglass handled axe to them before returning them to the bowl.

Thank you
Shit Spewing Asshole

I thought my suggestion posted above was really appropriate for someone named Billy Bob.

Shit spewing asshole number two.

Poop outside on the ground. Works for me.

In the famous words of Teddy Roosevelt,"Talk softly and carry a big poop stick."It's an honor to be associated with some of the greatest shit spewing assholes of all time.

Get a cordless sawz-all from Home Depot. Makita makes a good one.

You just need a more capable toilet, Billy Bob. There are a number of good choices on the market. Among the most highly rated ones currently available at a reasonable price is American Standard's Cadet 3.

Is it your toilet, or all toilets? At my old place, I clogged the toilet nearly every time I pooped. In my new place, I almost never do... it's just a better toilet.

You say you get enough fiber... do you get enough water? TOO much protein?

Carry one of those telescopic pointer thingys that look like a car antenna all folded up into the size of a pen. That should do the trick!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

An outhouse is hard to clog, unless you fall in.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Dry docking the crapper can be a thing of awe when accomplished at the right place and time.

Dry docking the throne at your personal abode leaves you to clean up the mess.

I recommend increasing your fluid intake and a couple of Colace/day.

LMAO Bunch of Aholes! Seriously thankyou 2 ALL the guys that did take it seriously and genuinly helped I think its a change in diet that was needed I found exersice as in running rather than weights plenty of water more soluable fibre and no more spagbog white pasta is bad! Also it is toilet dependant some toilets are great some just cant take a heavy load! More soluable fibre = quicker softer passage = less of a build up and less time to dry into a bowel shaped brick! Do you think ive stretched my bowels with years of bad dieting tho? lol

Billy Bob...there is no shame in a stretched bowel. Some of this nation's finest leaders and intellectuals have had some of the most stretched bowels on record. Besides, if Jenna Jameson is still healthy and vibrant, and it seems that she is, there must truly be nothing to worry about. Go on living your life with your head held high knowing you have a condition that could very well lead to your election as President of the United States someday.