If you really have to go, it shouldn't take 10 minutes. You aren't giving birth. Just my opinion. Maybe Dave needs a survey on how long it takes to execute an average dump.

There are degrees of Shamefulness. Yours is certainly the most difficult to confront and handle. It's not just that you are uncomfortable when others are around in the bathroom you're using, it's that you also don't want anyone to know that you are going to use the bathroom in the first place.

To overcome this preoccupation with when and why others are using the bathroom, you might try putting yourself in others peoples' shoes.
Do you really think they care where you are going and what you are going to be doing?

What they are most likely doing is putting your activities in the backs of their minds and not probing all that deeply. They may be vaguely aware that you are using the bathroom, but chances are, they have other issues in their heads--such as work, presentations and co-hort interaction--to dwell on the bathroom situation.

Imagine them all as having brains too crowded with details to picture your every move. Because in all likelihood, they either aren't thinking about you or just don't care.

It's your perception of what everyone else is thinking that needs adjustment. Attack your Shamefulness internally. No one will be the wiser, but you'll be far more comfortable.

I dislike coworkers or anyone knowing that I am going to the bathroom to drop a load.

In this situation you should of just said "I need to use the restroom."

Nobody is running a stopwatch or really cares what you are doing in the bathroom...unless they are poopreporters
!!

For once I agree with C Everett. It shouldn't take THAT long to poop. As for my average time---about 90 seconds. The turd just blasts out, I wipe and go about my day.

Why does everyone on this site feel a need a drop in a disclaimer when they agree with me? I'm the most sensible and agreeable person here.
CEP

Heh. For once I agree that everyone does not need to drop in a disclaimer when they agree with CEP. Just go wild and wing it. Can we all agree on that?

CEP, you kill me.

You are sensible, CEP.

Only 'dis claimer says, not everyone agrees with you.

But that's the whole point! You're all absolutely right: They DON'T care! But I still couldn't do it.

And as for the timing, I'm talking about the entire experience. I always wash my hands both before AND after. So I'd have to go in, wash AND dry, THEN poop (which in this case WOULD have taken somewhat longer than 90 seconds), followed by the contingent wiping (and who know how much of THAT there would be), then hand-washing and drying again. Plus, I work with some nosy damn people.

It might not have taken 10 minutes, but then again, it might have done. And of course I SHOULD have just said I had to go. But... I... couldn't bring myself to say it. Not this time. Maybe next time.

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"You polished up my low-flow, and I dirtied up your bowl!"

CEP without realizing it has acknowledged women shit! Big first step CEP, congratulations, although it was acknowledgement by omission each lttle step helps.

GGG, we all have moments where our shamelessness can be tested. Best thing to doo is put this shitscapade out of your mind and start fresh. Next time leave the meeting when the call arises, you'll be surprised no one really notices it (they may tihnk you had a call you needed to make). It's better to poop during the meeting than immediately after because usually there are others that need to go after and then you are dueling for stall placement. Remember that famous quote: "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again".

Just to clarify, I admit nothing! I have always said that sweatsuit wearing, chain smoking, Jerry Springer guest, lumbering behemoth women probably do shit. Hot ones do not! I have never seen a picture of GGG.

Sweatsuits? Nope. Check. Chain smoking!? Never one puff! Check. JERRY SPRINGER?!?! Not while one cell yet lives in my body. Check, and double check. Lumbering behomoth? I'm not a size 2, but I'm not a 22, either. So I guess that's a check.

So I guess I take it all back. I don't poop.

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"You polished up my low-flow, and I dirtied up your bowl!"

What CEP is saying is the Pedestal Princesses Don't Poop! Another way of expressing this is that Princesses Grace and Di did not poop! Is that what you're trying to tell us, CEP?

Some people take ten to twenty times to quit smoking. Hang in there. Just a momentary slip. It's not as bad as a heroine relapse.

We have your back......
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.....hugging bunnies since 1969

All you need to do is say "O.K. I need to go take a dump" say it loud and proud. It works for me, that's because all of my co-workers know that i am a dirtbag.

I agree and would add something I often tell my students when they are feeling self-conscious about things: If life is a movie about you, in everyone else's movie you are just an extra. Who notices what the extras are wearing or doing? You can get away with doing most anything, because everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to notice.

I'm so vocal with my exploits that people in my office all now KNOW when I'm going for a poo just by the awkward shuffles I make to the door and the time of day; I always have a 10am and 3pm appointment with Dr Huxtable. And I'm ALWAYS gone for at least 15 minutes. I think it's my diet - I firmly believe I'm responsible for the destruction of the majority of the world's rainforests with all the paper I use...

I work in an orifice full of women and I'm the only guy. They all know I'm proud of my downloads and I make no bones about it.

I would suggest that you adhere to TBW's advice. Your biggest enemy is your own conscience, GGG. It's easy for a Shameless One such as my good self to preach as this isn't an area I have any difficulty in, but I guess you should take the softly softly approach with yourself. You will see the light at the ned of the tunnel eventually. I wish you success. God bless.

"Light at the ned of the tunnel"... :) You know what I mean! d'oh!

Ned Of The Tunnel--wasn't he a character in 'The Hobbit?'

I disagree with CEP. I don't know if you have children, my friend, but it took me a lot longer than 10 minutes to birth mine. :)

Hang in there, GGG. You're allowed a slip up here and there.
If one of your coworkers had gone to the bathroom during that meeting, what would you have thought? Probably no more than, "Oh, he or she must be in the bathroom," then you would forget about it. Most people don't dwell on the fact that others are in the bathroom at work.
Unless you work with Doniker.

Don't be too hard on yourself, GottaGoGirl. You were under intense internal pressure, with that poop building up over the whole meeting and beyond. It may have been gas force that pushed the words out of your mouth when you blurted that you had to go home.

We must never underestimate the power of the bowels.

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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

i would say, just say you have to use the restroom. i'd bet that most people, at least the guys, would first think that you're just in there primping if you take longer than a couple minutes. but i agree that most people probably wouldn't even notice, or try to figure out what's taking so long if they do notice. so don't sweat it.

and i'd just like to take a moment to clarify something. downloading is when you get something from the internet. uploading is when you put something on the internet.

so, if you want to use computer jargon as poop jargon, you should say that you "uploaded" your poop into the toilet, or whatever. cuz when you say the word "downloaded" in reference to pooping, you're really implying that you're taking poop out of the toilet, not putting it in there. i'm just sayin'.
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i love poop.

Hopefully this is noting more than a blip and you become shameless.

Just tell yourself, everybody poops, and nobody cares if I am going to use the restroom or not, and everybody knows that I poop.

Good luck regaining shamelesness.
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Watch out for the deadly F4, though he's been gone since '53, he will be back.

I would help you here but I don't understand shamefulness related to shitting. Even in women. When I have to take a crap, I go and take a crap. I might even TELL someone, "I'll be right back. I have to go to the bathroom." The problem is that society in general handles natural bodily functions so weirdly that it makes people do weird things concerning it. Like being shameful. Just do it and don't worry what someone might think. If they really bother you, just imagine that they're faces are in the toilet bowl when you do it. That always helps.

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Born right the first time.