Did you wash it in hot water?

Samdamnit's gets stretched every day. It's like a wind sock now.

MSG, it's called getting old. Your anus loses elasticity, your penis shrinks, your ears get bigger and start to grow hair like a Chia Pet, and your nut sack starts to drop like the ball at Times Square.

Other than that, old age is fun.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Up to a certain age, I believe the anus gets larger, then shrinks down in later years. In my extensive research into online porn, I have noticed a large difference in the anal character of the teen models versus the MILF models. The teens have what I would call a demure anus: small, no roids, smooth, looks like a tiny star (how cute!). The older gals sometimes have what I call a "blowout": large, everted anus, one or more roids (looks like it's been abused). I am sure that declining spincter muscle tone in old age decreases anal compliance (flexibility/openness) and the older person has smaller-caliber (narrower) stools that require more pushing to make an exit. Try Kegel exercises for better control and muscle tone, these can be done any time. You see, the Levator Ani muscle is the one that works in cooperation with the anal sphincter to literally pull the anus upward and thereby pinch the loaf. I hope this explanation piques your curiosity about lower GI anatomy and you feel compelled to do more research into how the body works to make a poop!
----Captain Craptastic!!!

Thanks, Capt. C; most illuminating, though I don't know what a MILF is. I like the term "smaller-caliber stool." That's just what I have now, most of the time.

MILF Mom I'd Like to well... Fornicate

And you really don't want to know what a GILF is.

Oh!!! I know! I know!! Its a goat...er...no, gerbil...uh....goose! Yeah..uh...no wait...um...garfish!!! Its a garfish I'd like to uh...you know...get busy with.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

GILF, Greatly Intrusive Lady Fart. GILF.

I'd like to thank the academy and all tha ladies out there who aren't ashamed to fart. Peace Out.

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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

A MILF is a Mom I'd Like to Fuck (squat-n-leavit is too polite).

Based on personal experience, I've noticed that it is somewhat harder to finger a younger woman in the ass due to the constricted anus vs.an older woman. Captain C. is also correct on the appearance of the young bunghole vs. the older one. There's nothing quite so sexy as a tight, puckered little anus on a 20-something chick. Plus, they usually shave any unwanted hair whereas the old ones just don't seem to care anymore.

When I coached softball and baseball there was what was known as the hot mom pick. That was a kid who wasn't all that good, but got picked because their mom was hot and likely to show up for the games scantily clad. I guess she would also be a MILF.

PD, I remember that from when I was coaching soccer. And it always seemed like the hot moms kid played more than any other kid, even if he sucked.

Come to think of it, that's why I still enjoy delivering the mail after all these years. It's not because I really like giving the public service, but because I really enjoy checking out the voluptuous asses on my route.

I think you need to find a way to get the words "voluptuous asses" into the Postal Creed.
Niether rain nor snow.....

Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds, unless a voluptuous ass comes into view, in which case the carrier may drive over the curb into somebodies front yard, and may cause disruption of the days deliveries.

I think it'll fly.

I would say with virtual certainty that the anus becomes looser and therefore larger with age. It's a muscle after all, and muscles sag a little as they get older and weaker. It may not strictly be larger in terms of mass, but it will be less taut and therefore look bigger.

Which prompts me to mention a lover I had early last year. For a while, I was a member of AFF, which some of you might be aware of as a swingers website for people who like no-strings sex meets. I was having an online flirt with Patricia, a 67 year old woman (30 years older than me), whom I must admit was a very funny and very dirty minded lady.

She was widowed and missing sex, which was why she joined the site, but hadn't met with anyone at that point. I wasn't that keen to do so, after all she was a lot older than me and grannies don't tend to turn me on, but we agreed to meet for a drink and see what happened. Now I won't into full details about what occurred between us, as this is not a porn site, but suffice to say that once I got over my initial trepidation, we had a pretty wild night. She was into watersports, anal, the whole nine yards, but also had IBS, and had real problems keeping her arsehole shut. However, it wasn't a messy experience and she was clean as a whistle down there, even when...well, I'll let you use your imagination. Suffice to say that like a gentleman, I agreed to meet up again a couple of weeks later at a a B&B.

Unfortunately, when we next met, her IBS was giving her some serious problems. She apparantly hadn't managed to fart without sharting for a week, but after making preperations to meet me, had taken Immodium to try and keep everything together.

To cut a long story short, we were going for it doggy style, with her arse in the air, and what I saw almost put me off my stroke. I could see the inflamed redness either side of her crack and her ring was so sore, and hanging open so wide, it was as if someone had torn a hole in the Japanese flag. She was a little embarrassed about it, and insisted that no way could we risk any back-door action that night (believe me, I wouldn't have dared suggest it, her hoop was in such a state), but as we grinded away, I was almost forgetting about it. I'd brought her to her climax and was just beginning to get in to mine, when I noticed the smell of eggy shite wafting up to my nose and couldn't help but notice that in her excitement, she'd lost control of whatever remaining internal valves were still operational. Her starfish was leaking cocoa butter, and she knew it too, as she broke stride and tried pulling away and turning over onto her back. Damn inconvenient as I was just getting into the vinegar strokes and wondered whether I'd be able to finish things off before my ardour dampened. But she put the dampeners on that idea, which was probably a good thing, thinking about it.

"What's wrong?" I enquired gently.
"You KNOW what's wrong!" she seethed
"The IBS? Well, yeah, I noticed, but it's OK it doesn't matter. You can't help it."
"Paul, I've just fucking SHIT myself!" she snapped. "And you say it doesn't fucking matter just because you want to fucking come?"

I have to admit, there wasn't a lot I could say to that. She felt humiliated, had leaked shit from her arse as I was pounding away at the hole below, and I, quite obviously, was more initially concerned with emptying my sack regardless of the state of the deposit area. My ardour subsided completely by this time and I suddenly felt ashamed and selfish (and still do) as she lay there, frantically searching for the tissues in her bag with which to wipe herself, feeling disgusted with herself for allowing this liason to happen when she was clearly not physically capable of enjoying it in comfort. Frantically searching for a suitable gesture, I took a tissue and tried to help her wipe her crack, and the smears of brown that had appeared on the sheet. In the first few seconds she objected with a "What the fuck...just fucking get away from there and leave me alone!" but I put every ounce of dignified sympathy into my eyes and she actually allowed me to wipe her crack a little, before she got up without saying another word, waddled into the toilet and spent the next five minutes having a very noisy and splattery BM with the door closed, and I sat there, on a slightly be-shitted bed, scrubbing away the stain with one of the lemon-scented fresh-wipes that the B&B had thoughtfully provided with the mini soaps on the basin.

I heard the shower start, and knocked on the door asking if I could come in. She agreed and as I came in, I found her in the shower, washing herself down, and she'd clearly been crying as her eyes were red and puffy. But without saying another word, I stepped into the shower myself and started to soap her down, washing her back, her tits and of course, her arse. She started crying again, and I thought I'd blown it, but she hung her arms around me and hugged em tightly, in silence as the water cascaded over us. Although the selfish part of me figured that a romp in the shower would be a great finish, I maintained control of my libido and towel-dried us both, with neither of us saying a word.

When we got back to the bed, she was calmer but started weeping again, this time with a smile behind the tears, as she held on to me, and told me that no man had every surprised her like I did. Her late husband, it seemed, was a complete bastard and it had once happened with him and he was so furious and disgusted that he beat her, calling her every foul name he could muster and he didn't touch her again for months, making her feel like a worthless piece of filth, just because she had IBS and couldn't help herself. She was expecting me to be similarly disgusted, and when she realised that I wasn't, and I wasn't a scat fetishist either, she didn't know how to react but felt that I was perhaps the kindest most caring and sensitive bloke she'd ever known. We snuggled for a while, which resulted in me giving her the business for all I was worth until a very ecstatic finish.

I've known too many women to ever believe I understood 'em, but this one convinced me that the mind and logic of women will forever remain a mystery to me. And long may it continue to be so.

But to get back to the original point, yes, I firmly believe that the anus does NOT shrink with age, it just gets looser.

I will put an end to this debate once and for all. I am off to the local senior center, calipers in hand, where I shall politely ask permission to measure everone's asshole.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

I am back from the senior center. Does anyone have suggestions as to how I can remove calipers from my rectum?
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Be careful around those seniors, Chief. They can get pretty mean.

Thanks Postman but you are to late with your warning.
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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Once again El Scumbag writes a post that could be a story. Seems odd that MILF needed explaining and AFF (adult friend finder) did not.

Watersports??? I think you mean piss play. For real watersports we undergo urinalysis....oh....nevermind.