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Ask PoopReport: Why So Smearious?

Posted 07.22.2008 by Bonser (10)
Dear PoopReport,

Why is it poo sticks to the bowl even in water?

ChiefThunderbutt (777) -- 07.22.2008

Ahhh.....The skid mark in the commode, the bane of modern living. In olden days when
folks shat into open pits this was not a problem. There were other problems, like falling in, but skid marks were strictly found in under garb.

I think commode skids have been with us as long as the porcelain throne but have recently become more pronounced as the water flow is weakened in the name of conservation. The old high flow toilets that had the strength of a small river easily erased poop marks with one flush.

In answer to your question, I don't know.
I produce mostly floaters which leave no marks. Probably the diet of the pooper has a definite impact on the stickiness of the poo. I think this calls for some serious research. I shall eat a huge volume of peanut butter today and see if I can produce sticky sinkers tomorrow morning.

_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

MSG (662) -- 07.22.2008

It may depend upon the flush mechanism and the amount of water for the flush. Poop is termed a semisolid substance, and even a very hard turd will leave a mark sometimes. A strong flush will send water over and across the skidmark and in many cases will erase it. The marks that remain after a flush (the survivors, I call them) are often in a place on the porcelain that the main water flow misses or hits just lightly. By the time the next flush occurs, the poop constituting the skidmark will have had time to blend with the water, soften, and thus disappear more easily with the next flush. For the most part, I don't mind skidmarks. They are mute testimony to the effectiveness of my digestion.

Bilgepump (1676) -- 07.22.2008

Also, be aware of what you use to clean your porcelain or plastic bowl. Too abrasive a cleaner will take off the smooth "polished" surface, and allow a handhold for turds to cling. Using a mild acid solution and a soft bowl mop will handle most hard water rings, and not scratch the surface of the bowl. God, I gotta find a new gig, janitorial stuff sux.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Crapper John Mc... (86) -- 07.22.2008

Why, I can't tell you, but I can offer a solution:

My buddies say it's fun to try to 'power wash' them off with your pee stream; I don't have a penis, so I haven't been fortunate enough to afford the opportunity to try it out personally. Of course, they also enjoy peeing over conversion vans, and other various things I would expect are too high for most people to pee over, so maybe they have super soaker weeners and this won't work for people who haven't invested considerable time and energy into exercising whatever pee pushing muscle is required to accomplish these useless feats.

daphne (3608) -- 07.22.2008

Maybe the weight of the turd has something to do with it. If it falls into the bowl and smacks the bottom, and it's a semi-solid matter, it only makes sense that it will leave a mark on the porcelain.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

prarie doggin (2110) -- 07.22.2008

That explosive wet shit will often cement itself like barnacles above the water line. I usually bring in the 3000 psi pressure washer for these. Or I'll get the spatula and go at them like a stuck pancake.

Butt Dumpling (35) -- 07.25.2008

Crapper,I too am a "Power Washer" I power wash every time I walk in the shitter after my kids take a crap !I wish some day they will get out the Comet and a brush and clean the shit !
(wishful thinking)

MHCC (not verified) -- 07.25.2008

Yesterday a student at our college campus painted our bathroom walls with human feces. If you guys encourage this sort of thing you should be ashamed.

Campus security
2008 Mt. Hood Community College | 26000 SE Stark St. | Gresham, OR 97030 | 503-491-6422

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 07.27.2008

MHCC, the school sounds like it's gone downhill since I attended in the late 1990s. If you ever find the shit sprayer, send him/her my way and I'll wash him/her down for you! As a former student, I feel it is my duty!

_______
Well, you don't actually blow on it. That's just an expression.

greenpoopertrooper (335) -- 08.07.2008

Maybe it plunges thru the water and sort of smashes against the side, leaving pieces behind. Hmm, I've never contemplated this before.
_______
I will never shit somewhere that only has that horrible, scratchy brand of toilet paper. That stuff sucks!

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i poop and i vote

 


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