I recommend a pair of rubber gloves. Get on your knees, get your arm into the bowl and down the bend, then undertake some manual disimpaction.

I've used Borax (20 mule team Borax) and boiling water and it worked. So did powder oxygen bleach and boiling water.

Also sold at Lowe's or Home Depot is an industrial toilet bowl cleaner with a high acid content that I found helpful. Wear gloves and make sure you don't splash any water when you use it because it BURNS! That stuff removed any build up from the water holes under the rim and made the flushing more powerful to force down the big ol' mamma jamma's my boy can crank out.

Had you considered Napalm? A little bit of jellied gas will fix just about anything.

I have actually used vinegar. It is good for so many things. Since it is an acid it has a 'melting' effect on protein. It also takes urine stains off porcelain, removes ear wax, destroys dandruff, and is good on salads. I buy a two gallon pack at Sam's club for practically nothing. I do, by the way, use a better quality vinegar on my salads.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

Am I missing something? Why screw around with vinegar or dishwashing liquid when you could plunge?

Oh you poor thing. Salmonella is one of the worst things ever. I hope you are feeling better. As far as your toilet goes..I dunno. my clogs usually occur from to much TP. GOOD LUCK!

Yeah, I was also wondering why using a plunger is not an option?

Oh boy yeah the low flow toilet thing is really working great for saving water and the environment from chemical pollution...

..lets see we've got Borax, powder oxygen bleach, vinegar, industrial toilet bowl cleaner, who knows how much boiling water(which also wastes natural gas), and the recommendations will go on for hours.

Are you toilet manufacturers and building designers and fellow environmentalists getting this? FLUSHING SHIT AWAY IS NOT A WASTE OF WATER!

1.HIGH FLOW TOILTS!
2.FOOT FLUSHERS
3.FOOT CONTROLS FOR EVERY POSSIBLE DEVICE IN BATHROOM
4.STALL DIVIDERS AND DOORS THAT GO CIELING TO FLOOR

I'm really sorry Piper, I don't know what to recommend beyond more water. This stuff is too easy for designers to get right - why is it gotten wrong so often?

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Don't move the truck I'm still on the bucket!

Does the sink have a garbage disposal?

call the landlord and tell him/her about the problem.

Those acid things Poopsie was talking about work great on hair clogs. You'll know the stuff. The plastic bottle is inside a heavy duty plastic bag. While in HD, look for a device that replaces the flapper with a flapper/cup device. This delays the closing of the flapper so that the entire tank can empty. It's only a few bucks and is easy to install. I have put one in every low flow toilet and they work great. One other thing, check the water level in the tank when it's full. Some people mess with this to save water and the low flow toilets need as much water as they can get.
In a nutshell, clogged toilet=plunger, low flow toilet=better water delivery.

Cheapskate! Why are you in a "charming little cotage" instead of that 5-star hotel? Pack up your fudge right away and get to the cadillac poopin stools fast! And, don't leave any identity info at the cottage so the maid won't hunt you down.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

If you are going to be in this low-flow place for long, invest in a plastic pail of at least 2.5 gallons capacity. Fill the pail and pour it into the toilet when you flush; not so fast as to cause the bowl to overflow, but enough to keep a good flow over the hump and through the trap.

Green toilets are crap, it usually takes multiple flushes ans sometimes more water that just one normal toilet can take care of. I agree with the bucket of water trick, or just plunge.

Dual flush toilets are much nicer than plain old low-flows. You can select a small flush for yellow, or raging whirlpool action when you need to drown a brown scuba diver.

I'm going to echo Logjam on this one. Pick up a plunger and get to work.

A plundger is the thing
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Russell the shitting queen

I prefer a power auger...turn that sumbitch in to shit mocha smoothie....no problem flushing that...

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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

The bucket trick is the best solution to try first. In the end you may have to roll up a sleeve and wrestle that brown anaconda you made.
It depends on the turd's consistency & modern toilets tend to have small holes too. We always keep a bucket to hand to deal with a TP clog 'specially it it was a million wipe job.

My logs tend to drop anchor, while my pop often leaves floaters. He takes special fibre supplements for a digestive problem.
It is a matter of poop ettiquette to leave as little trace of your visit as possible.
Open the window first and make a courtesy flush.

plunge, plunge away!

Whatever you do, DO NOT use chlorine bleach!!! That stuff reacts with organic acids to create chlorine gas. It's just like mixing bleach with ammonia. CL gas is toxic and highly corrosive. ( it mixes with water in the lungs to form hydrochloric acid.)I know a guy who got emphysima from doing this...

I agree with the others, a bucket of water by the john, and a toilet snake from the hardware store to break up the clog. Buy yourself a plunger while you're there...

We used the bucket method to great effect at our hunting camp. the waterline was above ground, so the pump was turned off when it got below freezing. Try and pour the water along the side. This will cause the water in the bowl to swirl, helping it to flush.

Chocolate Thunder A La Commode: This recipe calls for a Turbo Mixalot 9000. Blend until smooth and creamy, then turn up the power to whip into stiff frothy peaks. Mixing tip: Keep beaters down in the chocolate thunder during preparation. We recommend saftey goggles for this recipe.

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To affect the quality of the poo, that is the art of life. ~Thoreau, sort of.

Very interesting reading from all of you...who would have thought that bathroom humor, albeit in a more literary form, lives and breathes beyond grammar school. The few who suggested the obvious--using a plunger--clearly missed the boat and I'm not referring to my feces. I assumed it was a given that I had tried that since every bathroom in America is equipped with one. What I did do to solve my dilemma was the first suggestion I found on the Internet: Use a bucket of hot water (poured slowly) along with a generous portion of Dawn dish washing liquid. I simply let that "formula" sit overnight and in the morning...voila! Flushing was no longer just a town in New Jersey. As far as the size issue addressed elsewhere by the resident poop pundit, allow me to contradict your viewpoint that only men can eliminate tundra-size turds. I am not a man, nor a woman who used to be man, but a 5'9", 145 lb. healthy, anatomically correct female with everything going for her except for the occasional embarrassment resulting from larger-than-life logs unintentionally placed in another toilet not my own. (To paraphrase the title of Dominick Dunne's book, Another City Not my Own.) For those occasions when I'm not able to deposit my dung in a diesel-powered poop receptacle, or have the benefit of using the winning hot water & Dawn formula, I resort to methods heretofore alluded to by the Poop Report resident expert: a stick (or disposable plastic knife) that cuts the not-so-delicate droppings down to size. Disgusting? You bet. (Hope they never get that little scenario "caught on tape") But, it's either that or run like hell and hope no one know it was me that capsized their commode. Thanks again for all the suggestions--some were actually helpful.

Did you hear that PD!! Flushing is just a town in New Jersey!!

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

So... Your sink does have a garbage disposal?

Chief, I'm not a Mets fan, so I have no need to travel to Flushing, N.J.

If there were a Flushing, Tennessee I would be proud to live there.

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Eat chilies and feel the burn!!