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Ask PoopReport: Hemorrhoids Surgery Or Topical Cream?

Posted 02.04.2009 by lat (11)
My question revolves around if I should get hemorrhoid surgery or not. First, a little history about me. I was that kid who sat on the toilet for hours reading magazines and the whole time I would be pushing until I got everything out, even if it was not ready. I would also hold it until the afternoon so my bathroom times were very consistent. And I always use wet wipes.

Some time last year, I started to notice that I would leak throughout the day, and that the smell was unbearable. Shorty thereafter, the pain started. It was an itchy, pulsating, burning pain. Up until then, I never had problems. So I went to a family physician and he put the clear thing in me to get a look inside. When he did that, I almost passed out from the pain.

He told me that I had a few internal skin tabs with inflammation. He gave me suppositories and I used them for two week and the pain went away. A few weeks later, the pain returned. I started to use cream, which I now use about three or four times a week. Sometimes I go without any pain for a few weeks, and sometimes I have to use the cream everyday.

From your experience, what should I do now? Keep using the cream, or look into surgery or other options?

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 02.04.2009

I suggest that you out habenaro peppers, wassabi, and horseradish into a juicer. Strain into a glass and keep a few seeds in the mix too.

Drink 12 oz three times a day. When you feel a shit coming on pop 2 norco and hold on tight.

That concoction should kill then cauterize those damn hemorrhoids. At the very least it will scare them from coming back for a while.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

spattacus (206) -- 02.04.2009

NIL - Oh, you Git! But funny.
I have a 'roid that gets attitude when provoked with the hot stuff, but so far it's worth the burn.
I think surgery's to be avoided until desperation sets in. I watched a friend's mum walk like John Wayne for weeks and that put me off the idea.

El Scumbag (598) -- 02.04.2009

Keep going with the creams mate. You didn't mention your age or occupation, but if you have a sedentary role, I'm afraid you'll find that 'roids are an occupational hazard and once you've started to get them, the chances are they'll keep coming back, off and on, forever. Prevention is better than cure so I can only suggest NOT straining at stool, avoiding ringstinging food and eat a diet high in fibre, fruit and vegetables. If you eat meat, drink plenty of water with it and accompany it with lots of leafy green veggies. You may find that lots of onions and fresh garlic will help too, as it acts as antiseptic on them, although it'll be a trade-off as you'll let out some truly evil farts and kissing the ladies will need the assistance of a few breath mints.

Anusol is good, although what you call it in the US I have no idea.

Dildo Baggins (115) -- 02.04.2009


I used to have the same problen, then I found the cure. I got busted for stealing a car, smacked the arresting pig, then got 12 monthes in the jug. Right after I was locked up, my cellmate T-Ron, AKA. "The Pumper", tattooed an awesome set of titties on my back, then..Presto...no more roids. Easy peasy, lemon sqeazy._______
Sorry---I farted!!

MSG (1155) -- 02.04.2009

Surgery is painful, expensive, risky, and liable to failure (i.e., the condition will likely recur). Avoid if possible. If you have a cream or suppository that works, even temporarily, I'd say that was preferable to surgery.

ChiefThunderbutt (2799) -- 02.04.2009

I had problems with hemorrhoids for years; finally a lady who worked, of all places, in a chiropractor's office gave me advice that has been extremely helpful over the years. Wiping your leather cheerio with paper is a good idea but it does not do the job as well as it should be done. After wiping use a washcloth anointed with warm water and mild soap and make that orifice in your nether regions sparkle.

Feces seem to have some kind of skin irritating acidic makeup, or something else perhaps, that causes hemorrhoids if a film is left on the old tail-pipe. If I have an occasional flareup I pop Anusol up the old poop-chute for a few days and that does the job. I have had many friends over the years who have opted for surgical removal. They have all regretted that decision and in the majority of cases their hemorrhoids have returned with a vengeance.


_______
Eat chilies and feel the burn!!

prarie doggin (3912) -- 02.04.2009

Lat, first of all, the above comments about surgery are correct. Those roids are persistant little bastards. I had a friend whose roids were cut out, chopped up into bits, flame grilled and then buried under 10 feet of earth. Within a few months those little buggers found their way back into his asshole, and they weren't happy.

I'm not sure what that "clear thing" was that was stuck in your ass, but unless the doctor was a proctologist, I would suggest going to one. You could have a pilonidal cyst near the rectum (as I had) and the symptoms would be similar. I lost track of how many tubes of Preperation-H I slathered over my ring before I found out what was wrong.

Eoz1 (not verified) -- 02.04.2009

"I'm not sure what that "clear thing" was that was stuck in your ass,"

I assume he's referring to a speculum?

Lame comment! -1 point
Dildo Baggins (115) -- 02.04.2009


Im not sure of the actual medical terminology, but I think women call them "dildoes"._______
Sorry---I farted!!

Blind Mullet (581) -- 02.04.2009

It sounds to me like they're internal hemmies, as there is no mention of the "bunch o' grapes" growing out of the bung.
Internal hemmies can be dealt with at home, with the use of a commonly-available 60-watt soldering iron.
Just be sure there are no remnants of solder or flux on it, as the resulting infection could be painful.

_______
I don't bite my nails, 'cause I don't like the taste of whats under 'em.

daphne (4409) -- 02.04.2009

I will most likely have the surgery someday - I've got a few of them from having 2 kids. In the meantime keeping the area clean is the best help, as it's the swelling that causes pain. And swelling is often caused by irritation, which is caused by a "dirty" area that chafes or changes the ph level of the skin for the worse. Every once in awhile I get a flair-up, but it's no big deal. The reason I'll get the surgery is because mine are external and well, a pain in the ass. I don't think mine would recur, especially now that my ass is a salad shooter. (I'm a vegetarian, and that effectively combats constipation.)

If your 'rhoids are giving you this much trouble, I'd consider the surgery because it's the quality of life that is at question. You're talking about a condition that recurs and causes you cyclical discomfort. What you'd have to consider about them returning (which is a good point) is whether or not you'd be willing to do what it takes to live better now - no pushing, fiber, and maybe invest in baby wipes or a bidet.

Whatever you decide, I hope that you find some relief. Butt grapes suck. Best wishes.


_______
.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Squat-n-leaveit (546) -- 02.04.2009

If surgery is necessary, do it. If not, put it off. Surgery is not the end (Even though the surgery is on the end!) If you read my story "Ray and his roids" tells of his first surgery. Subsequent cuttings (yes multiple) were similarly unsuccessful. Perhaps the march of technology will allow everyone to have a perfect asshole. I'd wait! (and eat fiber! And drink more water)

pnuttycorn (464) -- 02.04.2009

My Ex's father had roids so bad he ended up in the ER he was in so much pain. The Dr. said he had two that were the size of his thumb flange.(I guess that's pretty big for a roid,I don't know, I haven't had them THANK GOD) He had surgery and for at least 12 hours after he was on a morphine button. But he never had any problems after that. but everyone here is right. Fiber, and lots of water.and be nice to your bum. Treat it kindly. And don't try to go untill you have to. Straining is the worst ever.

phatmanxxl (514) -- 02.05.2009

So all my pushing till I'm red in the face and a bulging vein on my forhead with the obnoxious grunting and yelling isnt a good thing right? I should rethink my strategy.

Squat-n-leaveit (546) -- 02.05.2009

Well described Phat! As long as the bulging vein is on your forehead, you are fine. Should it migrate further south however...

Squat-n-leaveit (546) -- 02.05.2009

Has anyone ever wondered what preparations A to G were like? Someday will we have an improved preparation I?

sittingpretty (2336) -- 02.05.2009

Ha ha squat...and Prarie, did wound care on an infected pilo-nidal cyst surgical wound for weeks. On hemmorhoidal surgery, i would say go back to the doctor and discuss the next step in treatment. i recently found out i have Hirschsprung's Disease, an enterocele, a cystocele, and a rectocele. A subtotal colectomy for me could mean worse problems rather than an improvement at my age. Surgery is a big decision whether the surgery is minor or not. I choose surgery only when it is the last resort to achieving wellness.

Bilgepump (2776) -- 02.05.2009

I agree, SP...I consulted my physician about surgery as a last resort for wellness, but he said I'm already a man, nothing more need be done.

(runs screaming like a little girl)
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

sittingpretty (2336) -- 02.05.2009

Laugh out loud Bilge. You funny guy,you.i like being on the computer better. i can see threds immediately.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

sittingpretty (2336) -- 02.05.2009

Or not.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump (2776) -- 02.05.2009

I'm not sure what that meant, SP, but I'm glad you smiled.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Nine Inch Log (564) -- 02.05.2009

Chief, ouch man ouch. Take no offense but I hope not to be in your condition in 30 years. It sounds very painful. Although from some of your stories it almost sounds worth it.

_______
Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

lat (11) -- 02.08.2009

Great comments and advice. I think I will keep using the cream. So what the heck are skin tags and do they have to do with Hemorrhoids?

El Scumbag (598) -- 02.09.2009

A lot of what people believe are moles are actually skin tags. They just what the name suggests - tags of skin. Most of have at least one or two somewhere.

My ex unfortunately had them on her anus, which she developed after pregnancy, apparantly because she wiped too much, but probably because, well, life's a bit of a bitch like that. She had them either side of the hole and the odd effect was that it was a little like a eyelids with rather scruffy lashes.

El Scumbag (598) -- 02.09.2009

They can come off with minor surgery. A nurse could probably do it.

prarie doggin (3912) -- 02.09.2009

They can be removed with that otc wart remover that freezes them. I'd get some help on the back door ones though. You wouldn't want to freeze the bung shut by accident.

El Scumbag, if a girl ever winks at me again, I'll probably die laughing. Most likely wont happen though.

KesAFloyd (96) -- 02.10.2009

I was considering surgery, but when I was in India and having constant loose poop, I figured out a strategy for preserving my anus:

1. Don't let your buttocks spread when you sit on the toilet. Squeeze them together with your muscles or even your hands, then sit down. That will prevent your anus from being pretensioned.

2. If you have access to a hose (such as a hand-held shower head), use that to clean yourself rather than wiping.

3a. If you don't have a hose, wipe briefly with your butt cheeks squeezed together. Don't scrape deeply against your anus. This will only irritate it.

3b. Then later, after the stuff on your anus has dried a bit, come back and wipe it off. This will prevent the need to wipe and wipe, which causes irritation.

Using this strategy, I am hardly bothered by 'roids which once kept me up at night.

Crapola (302) -- 02.10.2009

Get a prescription for Lidocaine Ointment 5%. Also try Boiron Avenoc ointment and tablets from the health food store. Also, sit in the bathtub in warm water a few times a day with a handful of epsom salts in the water. And take Metamucil and Colace stool softener daily. Do not read on the bowl or strain to poop. This fixed my hem problem. You can read all about it in my story Hurricane Adjuta :) Best of health to you.


_______
Piece Out!
Crapola

sittingpretty (2336) -- 02.11.2009

Bilge, I need you to make me laugh. I laughed again today at the same one. I'm still home resting, not feeling so well today. I'm constipated. If I take 2 or more scoops of miralax, I poop water all night. If I take 1 scoop, I poop hard achey little skinny baby carrot poops. I'm shaking a little today and I want to eat but can't eat much. I was on a friend's computer the other day. I only have a Palm Treo and it limits me from seeing threds right away.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump (2776) -- 02.11.2009

Thats a hell of a lot of pressure to lay on one guy, SP...I hope you'll dole out some fo the laugh responsibility to the other clowns here, PD, Chief, Logjam, etc. I hope you feel better soon, sweety, and keep smiling.
_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 08.17.2009

I had a terrible problem with 'roids for a while... My cure? Prep H inside and out, and they eventually faded. Now what I do (which I'm CERTAIN has made all the difference) is to wipe inside of my brown eye. I take the TP and stick it in there maybe 1/2" and that seems to get a lot more out that wiping would alone. Also, moist wipes (prep h brand and tucks are the best) do wonders!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 08.26.2009

1. Is any of this genetic? Both my parents had them really bad.

2. I have ZERO straining and constipation! I don't know what brought this on.

3. Could bedrest be a factor? I've been flat on my back with a spinal injury (healing, thank goodness.)

S

sittingpretty (2336) -- 08.26.2009

Bilge? No Bilge. I wanted YOU to make me laugh, at the time which is almost seven months ago. Mabe next time.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

Bilgepump (2776) -- 08.26.2009

Can't do it, SP...now that I've had a birthday, I'm officially a grumpy old man.

_______

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

sittingpretty (2336) -- 08.26.2009

You are 48, Bilge, not 68. You are not a grumpy old man until you are old. You can stay grumpy, if you like. And you can make me laugh. You've done it before and you can do it again.
_______
...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

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