For years, I have been happily dumping out poops that would rate as fives or sixes on the
Bristol Stool Scale. The poops exit my anus effortlessly and cause no distress at all. Ahhhhh... wait. Make that no distress to my anus, but major olfactory distress to those around me.
They have alternated between sinkers and floaters; although sometime I have integrated poop sessions that include both. I have an anus that does not discriminate and is equal in its treatment of turds of all types. These BMs have been on an extremely regular basis. In my adult life, the only constipation from which I have suffered has been caused by medications, Pepto Bismol, pain killers, and so on.
But: several weeks ago, I went to the bathroom for my morning constitutional and was unable to produce anything. Usually I relax and my morning offering slips into the commode with no muscular help at all. The only straining I am used to is straining to keep my sphincter closed until it is over the drop zone.
I eat a high fiber diet: fruit, veggies, 100% whole wheat bread, etc. In addition to my diet, I am now swigging Metamucil and taking fiber pills several times a day. My dooks are a four on the Bristol Scale now, and they're huge. It takes a lot of straining to get one of these babies out of the hangar. I pretty much do one every day, but a few times have been unable.
This morning's donation to the sewer system was a two-day log that dropped into the pot in three pieces. I estimate its diameter to have been about two inches, and if I had retrieved the chunks and lined them up they would have gone a good thirteen inches or more. It took quite a bit of straining to birth this behemoth, and several flushes to bid it adieu.
I had a colonoscopy last year, and everything up the old asshole looked good. The stools don't really look unhealthy -- they are just hard to extrude. No changes in my diet lately. I drink too many gin and tonics, but that is the same as always. No blood, no dark color that could indicate intestinal bleeding. I have been thinking about adding a stool softener to my daily schedule.
What else is a PoopReporter to do???