Constipation has got to be worse. If I go two days without carving a miniature Obama, I feel like death warmed over. On the other hand, I can have butt piss for days and feel great, as long as it isn't a symptom of something worse. In fact it feels good to empty the old gut once in a while. Just stay near the carving studio so you don't generate a poop report.

I think constipation would be worse. There`s always the chance of getting a split ring when the compacted beast eventually abandons ship. The only drawback with diarrhea could be painful cramps - which wouldn`t really damage you, and as CEP says it can feel good to spray out a gutful of swamp-juice. As long as it`s down the pan.

well having suffered long bouts of both for the past year, because of my wretched gallbladder removal i would have to agree with the guys here and say constipation. not only could you tear your o-ring but lets factor in the knowledge that poop is not supposed to stay in there, it has to come out. hell if i go more than 2 days without shitting I eat something I know will give me the squirts just to end the misery.

i would rather be constipated, i work as a retail cashier, diarrhea is dangerous when you have a line 50 people long, in fact i keep a box of immodium in my locker just in case.

CEP, I cannot believe you just compared the president-elect to a literal piece of shit. I know this site is supposed to be about poop and not politics, but that is insanely offensive. During W's term Republicans were bitching at everyone else to "respect the office of the President of the United States" but now that your man didn't win you're allowed to be a complete (and racist) dick about it. If you want to be critical, at least make it about character or policy instead of skin color. Keep THAT shit to yourself.

Pushing till your face turns bright red just plain sucks, while experiancing the squirts is somewhat satisfying when your done plus is less deadly. So I'd have to say chronic diarrhea wins.

Phatxxl, diarrhea wins the most painful award, eventhough you enjoy a satisfying diarrhea? When I was little constipation caused me to have about one day every month when I would be doubled over with cramps so severe I could not cry, accompanied (after the boulder, rocks and pebbles unloosed) diarrhea for about 5 hours more. Although the cramps with diarrhea were severe, they were caused by the silent chronic constipation. Now that I'm 40 years into the same problem, the pain is daily and can range from 2/10-10/10 pain. It is pain that will not be avoided and no doctor seems to know how to cure. At least the pain from dehydration and electrolye imbalance secondary to diarrhea is temporary, easily remedied and with education, avoidable. Diarrhea can be deadly for babies, the immunocompromised patient and the Chief but it can't compare to chronic constipation when it comes down to the chronic pain that accompanies constipation.
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...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17

I guess if I had to choose, I would rather have the diarrhea as well, as long as it is not accompanied by anything else. I have IBS with constipation predominant, and being corked up is much more painful and uncomfortable than any bout of the runs that I can ever have.

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In search of the ever evasive BM

I am constipated rarely, but memorably; I get diarrhea a bit oftener, but still not often. Between the two, I prefer constipation, both for the combination of feelings encountered in each and for (at least in my case) the ease in dealing with constipation as compared to diarrhea.

I imagine you could go for years with diarrhea as lond as you could heep hydrated. Constipation, on the other hand will kill you unless you are able to force some out once in a while. As far as dicomfort, constipation (for me) has been worse. Nothing worse than trying to eat while knowing there is no more room for it.

Several years ago, I got some virus that left me with diarrhea and a high fever for a week. I never felt worse in my life during that week.

I'll take constipation over diarrhea any time, although they both really suck.

Personally I find the chronic diarrhea worse because it can be embarrassing in public. Machine gun butt blasts followed by what sounds like peeing out of your ass. Then your butt hurts from too much wiping. Not that constipation is any fun, it makes me nauseous. I've just had more experience with the former.

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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

Hmm, some very interesting experiences and opinions, poopreporters.

Personally I think constipation would be worse. That is definitely not to say that diarrhea is any better, but being a sufferer of chronic diarrhea myself. Despite the fact that it's tough to deal with, being an army guy and all, I find a bit of comfort in thinking that it's better than being clogged up all the time.

Levi, why couldn't you have given us an easier choice like being stranded on a desert island with Rosie O'Donnell or Richard Simmons?

Rosie or Richard? If I was on that island my choice would be simple. A long walk out into the ocean.

Rosie has verbal case of chronic diarrhea.

Ummmm, I'm going to go to Google now and find out who both of those people are...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Rosie O'Dougnuts: the cow that got kicked off The View show for being a liberal nutjob. Richard Simmons: Fitness trainer for the morbidly obease, known for his peppyness and funky hair do, Someone you just want to slap if you ever saw him in person. Hope this helps! :P

Who's the homo that lamed me? Obama isn't the president. He isn't even a senator. He is just a citizen I disagree with and fair game to be compared with a piece of dookie.

CEP, it wasn't me, but I thought that everyone knew *whispers* that Leandra is actually Michelle Obama.

As if making a racist comment was not enough, now CEP must hate on Teh Gays. Aren't you just a big ball of sunshine?

Obama is still technically a Senator until his replacement is chosen, and while he is not yet the president, he will be in just over a month. Show some fucking respect.

So you're not just racist, CEP, but also homophobic? Double lame.

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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

Oh come on... CEP deserves the lame but comparing someone to a piece of shit isn't racist, regardless of the colour of their skin, unless that's the reason they're referred to as a piece of shit. Calling someone a "homo" doesn't necessarily make you a homophobe, either, it just makes you... pedestrian, I suppose.

Cut the PC bullshit (and no, I didn't mean that in a racist way).

I'd go for the runs any day. I've been constipated a couple times and it's no cakewalk. You get cramps, the stress of "when's it going to come??" and the pain of birth. No thanks. Diarrhea sucks but there's some sort of satisfaction at the end. It does make your ass hurt, but at least I'm not preoccupied with "how long do I let the constipation go before I go the doctor?".

Of course I'm racist. Also a homophobe, sexist, xenophobe, misogynist, gun toting neanderthal. Everyone knows that. I'm a white male Republican, the easy target for everyone.

Let's see, CEP gets raked for "carving an Obama" yet "dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool" is just fine, and repeated multiple times on this site...Lame removed, at least far as I can do.
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The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Bilge, once again you are the voice of reason in a troubled world. Excuse me now while I go carve a Cosby kid and drop him in the pool.

Would you have said you were carving a miniature Nancy Pelosi? No - it clearly refers to skin color. Calling someone a homo in a way that is meant to be insulting, likewise, is homophobic. MAYBE Republicans wouldn't be called racist xeno/homophobic misogynists if they didn't talk and act like racist xeno/homophobic misogynists. Not my fault for calling it out. But noooo, I'm the "Looney Left" who hates America and wants the terrorists to win. Don't give me that bullshit.

AC, quit while you're behind. You'll never win against CEP.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

And I'm a equal rights loving, peace symbol flashing, gun hating, proud American Atheist female with a great job I got by using my brains and not showing my cleavage.

Yet despite of all of our differences we come here to discuss poop. We DO have something in common. Kind of brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it?

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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

PD...wrong thing to say...*shakes head sadly* I'm going to have to put Emmett on you...it's been nice knowin' ya...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Sorry Leandra, I meant to say I've got to go carve a Carlisle and drop it off at the pool.

Smart atheist women of America unite! In the discussion of poop. :)

I really do come to the site for poo talk and not politics - I get plenty of that elsewhere. But the CEP comment was too much and something had to be said. The "dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool" comment is also uncool - just happened to be around for this one.

I'm all for free speech - CEP can make any comments he wants, but I'm also free to scream "racist" at him when applicable. Just because you *can* say something doesn't mean you should, and I'd like to think as a nation we're beyond hating brown people.

Said my piece, done now.

Yes, lets try to keep this site for talk about poop, and save the politics for the...say...less respectable sites.

Well, you have something seriously wrong with you if you're shitting something that looks like a vampire; pale white, cold, and sparkling. I advise you to go to a doctor right away. AC: Please, heed my advice. You won't win.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Leandra, CEP brought up Obama As Poop, not me. Poop is brown. Obama is brown. CEP's statement is racially tinged. Pelosi As Poop would not work because she is white. That is why I brought it up as an example. You just proved my point.

YEAH!! I come here to talk about poop, poop memories, and not politics.

I have been having pinched nerve problems and degenerative disc disease, and have been taking painkillers for awhile. I would MUCH rather have pee out my butt(which I used to have)than feel it back there and know it won't come out untill it's damn good and ready.
It sucks, it hurts and I can't bear down cuz it hurts my back. I can't wait to get back to one good blast, and done.

I know he did, and I'm not saying I agree or disagree with him. But, Bilge made a valid point. What's so different about saying, "Drop the Cosby kids off at the pool?" Just because he's the president-elect? CEP doesn't have to like/respect/not make racially charged jokes about him just because he's the new president. And, I've been saying you won't win against CEP, becasue you won't. You will never get him to admit he's wrong. He really isn't in this case, it's a matter of opinion, but still. You took a good-natured (i think) joke and turned into some political debate on a site that isn't about politics. So, this is the last thing I shall post entertaining your...off-topicness.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

I'm not trying to get him to admit anything - I'm just saying it was a racist statement. It doesn't matter that it was about Obama either - I think I've seen similar comments about Jesse Jackson and Star Jones on this site. I responded about the "Cosby kids" statement previously - also not cool.

These are not "good-natured" jokes and obviously someone needs to explain this to you. It is offensive, it is dismissive of an entire group of people who have had to put up with shit for too long as it is, and it is about time for people to wrap their tiny little minds around that fact that non-white, non-Christian, non-conservative, non-male people are real people and deserve some real respect. I'm not going to make anyone change their minds, but I sure as hell can speak up when I see something that is wrong. And this shit is wrong. End of story. buh-bye.

The difference is the intention with which any comment is made, especially since CEP has been so upset over the past years when anyone has had the nerve to insult George Bush.

As to comments on color, there are so many black comics who belittle white people year after year in the name of humor that I can't take any complaints about "the Cosby Kid" euphemism seriously.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Haven't you heard? There is no racism in America any more. We just elected a black (well half white, half arab) president. Skin color does not matter anymore and I don't want to hear about "400 years of oppression" ever again. It is OVER!! I gotta go take a Barack. I had Mexican for lunch today.

AC, why don't you sack up and get a log-on instead of posting anonymously? I can't take someone seriously if they are afraid to put a name on their comments.

I don't see why...hmm...why is it okay for fellow blacks to go up to each other and call them 'n' (I will never type nor say that word ever) but when a white person does it, they shoot them? I'm kind of in CEP's boat with this, just because something my ancestors did doesn't mean I have to respect a group of people who are liable to shoot me/steal my stuff/ live off welfare and foodstamps when they can get jobs. (Sorry, but the whole welfare thing is a bit touchy for me, my mom and her neest asshole are proud to be living off federal assistance. It's just sick) I know that's a horrible stereotype, and I'm fully aware that there are many educated, awesome, respected African Americans, and I do respect them. But if someone will royally screw the country I live in to the ground, no, I will not respect them. Who knows? Maybe he'll prove everybody wrong. But, if he does half of what he's saying he's going to do, it's just enabloing the same lazy people to make even more money doing absolutely nothing. It'll allow people like my mom to have more kids without having to be financially responsible for them. It'll allow lazy people to go buy TV's and crap they don't need, so they can be even lazier. And, I don't believe CEP meant any real harm when he posted that comment, it's just a saying, like the Cosby kids one, or PD's new Carlisle one (PD, Edward is coming with Emmett. Edward gets pissed when anyof his family is insulted) And, I'm ranting now, so I'm outie.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Ah. While I was ranting, CEP made some other valid points. Cool. 400 years of oppression....interesting. Seeing as a large percent of blacks aren't doing anything to help themselves...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Leandra wrote

"You took a good-natured (i think) joke and turned into some political debate on a site that isn't about politics."

I am shamed. Out of the mouths of babes. This is the wisest thing you've said since joining Poopreport, and you are no longer Grasshopper. You have snatched the pooble from Prarie's hand.

Oh. Forgot. To answer the original question, I have been constipated only twice and had the runs often throughout my life. I can honestly say constipation bothers me more. It sucks to have a bloated stomach and to feel like there's a cork in one's butt.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Yes, Leandra you are so wise. You have indeed snatched the turd from the masters hand. It is yours now to keep, hold and cherish. (did I mention it was one I found in a stall on the Jersey Pike)

For CEP:

Here I sit, my buns are flexin'
I'm fixin' to birth another Texan
I grunt, I groan and with a mighty push
Out comes a giant George W Bush

You have confuzzled me Daphne, but I too never answered the question. I've never been constipated in my life, so I really can't answer the question...
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

*hands turd back to PD* With that new info, I'd rather stay as Grasshopper
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Leandra, if you're interested:

PD's Constipation Muffin recipe

1 cup, flour
2 eggs
1 cup rice
1 cup shredded cheese
2 cups milk
2 tablespoons Sackrete brand cement mix.
pinch of cinnamon

Dairy products don't clog me up at all...cement might, though...:lol: I have like, the epitome of a strong stomach.
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Peace, Love, Twilight.

Coward, thats a beautiful poem. I love political satire. I still say you are lame for posting here day after day without getting a log in. There should be a rule that you can only post once anonymously, then your IP gets blocked for being a pussy.

AC, I made some awesome "George Bush's" this morning.

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Blowing you chocolate kisses from my butt...

- Black people have a different skin colour from white people. Brown.
- Poop is brown.
Learn how to take a joke.

I think it's time to get over it and quit annoying the crap (oh no, racism, ahhh) out of people like me who care less and less about your unfortunate past each time you cry "racism" when no harm was meant.
Otherwise, I'm going down to some black comedy place and start yelling "racism" everytime the comic makes a joke about white people.

Ah looked into Putin's eyes and saw K F C. Ha ha ha.

Al Sharpton

Okay, I'll take diarrhea over constipation any day of the week. Unless it's Cholera or Dysentery, in which case bring on the manual disimpaction machine.

With that said, please excuse me while I go push out a horde of gooks, dinks and slopes. I've been loading up on the dried peaches which always makes my poop pale, just about the proper shade of chink brown.

And nobody better dare claim that I'm racist. As a pure-bred American mutt, I'm more oriental than I am anything else. The comment can't possibly be racist if you're part of the ethnic/racial group. It can still be insensitive, but it can't possibly be racist.

For those who are curious, we use the word "gook" around the house to describe any person of oriental ancestry who's behaving in a stereotypically oriental way. And if we're really ashamed by their behavior, we use the express "horse-faced gook."

Now, if you'll excuse me, Kim Jong Il can't wait any longer. It's going to be a DPRK kind of day.
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My special needs kid crapped in your honor roll student's backpack.

Deja, after you push out a "gook", do you feel like you have to poop again an hour later?

good one, PD!

i have had bad diarrhea all my life and i hate it i want to be constipated soooo bad. i usually crap like 2 times a day but i know it is unhealthy but i have been ignore the erge to go and i feel fine!