Boca Raton woman smears dog poop on shitty neighbor
Amy Goldberg was arrested last week for doing what a large percentage of the population has probably secretly fantasized about -- smearing dog poop on the shirt a yard-dirtying repeat offender. The police charged her with battery against a person over the age of 65, which in this case, in Florida law, is the intentional, non-consensual touching/hitting/splatting with dog poop of another person.
Goldberg lives in the golf community of Woodfield Country Club. On the day of the incident, she claims that her 67 year-old neighbor was letting her dog poop on Goldberg's lawn ... again. It seems this neighbor has been letting her dog poop on Goldberg's lawn for some time, and on this day she showed no sign of attempting to pick up the poop ... again.
Fed up, Goldbergy came outside and began yelling at her crappy neighbor to pick up the poop. The neighbor said that she was going to pick up the poop until Goldberg began yelling, at which point she decided she was not. When she refused, Goldberg picked up the poop with a plastic baggy, and here is where the stories vary:
- Goldberg says that she threw the bag at the neighbor, who ended up smearing it on herself. According to the suspect, the neighbor did it herself to frame her.
- The neighbor claims that Goldberg approached her with the poop and smeared it on her her.
I am tempted to believe the neighbor, even if I think she's a jerk. Rich people who leave their messes on other people's property usually do so because they consider themselves above picking up poop. They are going to avoid being contaminated by it at all costs.
Goldberg was released the day after she was arrested on bail, and a court date is pending. I am dying to get my hands on the transcript.
Of all the years I have belonged to this site, this is the first time I have ever read documented evidence that someone became so fed up with a lazy neighbor that he or she exacted turd terrorism directly onto the neighbor's person. While I cannot endorse such behavior, I think this may be the one way to make sure that a neighbor will find another place for Fido to let loose. If I was a snotty, lazy dog owner who thought the entire world was my dog's toilet, I would most likely avoid the yard owned by someone who might smear crap on my clothes in the future. Maybe this is why chimpanzees do it.
This story was also a good example of entitled douche behavior. What nerve must someone have to call the police after such an incident? The neighbor refused to pick up dog poop because her neighbor yelled at her. Waaahhhhh... Cry me a river, upscale residence golf course lady. The struggle is real, isn't it? You refused to pick up your dog's crap because no one's going to chastise you, and you probably deserved to wear a bit of it. But to call the police afterward? There are George Zimmermans running unchecked all over Florida, so yeah, the police have better things to do than to handle your self-fulfilling prophecy of a dry cleaning bill.
You are lucky that Mrs. Goldberg didn't have you fined every time you did this.