Apparently, a hopeful job seeker handled his rejection a little less than appropriately. William Rhode III allegedly applied for a position at Holy Spirit School, in NJ, and was turned down. The best part? This 53 year old guy decided to wear pink stretch pants and a DIAPER to his "interview". Alas, when this charming (I'm sure) gent was refused, he pooped in his diaper, and fled on foot.

I'm amazed more so at his ability to poop on demand like that than by either his obvious mental illness, or his firm grasp on reality (he realized nothing should be taken too seriously; something many of us could improve upon). I'm pretty much at my digestive system's mercy; I can't say, "I'm mad, so I'm gonna shit" or, "I have 10 minutes free, I'd better take a dump because I'll be busy later".

This guy, however, either planned this event so well (8am: drink black coffee. 9am: get dressed. 10am: apply for job. 10:02am: get turned down. 10:03am, poop, because I'd be pooping even if I weren't dressed as such anyway) that it was virtually choreographed to sync-up with his bowel habits, or he can really and truly command his rectum to expel on demand.

Before we write this guy off as a complete kook, let's consider this:
He may know something we all don't. I'm sure you remember Robert Fulghum's book, All I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten, and how eloquently he summed up life's important points...well, I think I might try to publish something similar, entitled, All I Need To Remember Is The Diapered, Pink Panted Pooper.

Here's an excerpt (it's a work in progress):
1) Never take life to seriously, because you never know when the joke's on you.
2) Always dress however you'd like; if you're not happy with your outfit, you'll be unhappy all day.
3) No matter what the circumstances in your life, always try to be productive (hey, the guy was looking for a job!)
4) Have religion; doesn't matter if you believe in God or not, there's always something in your life you look to in troubled times. (I like trees).
5) (A pathologist friend of mine likes to say this): If you have the time, use it to eat, shit or screw, because you never know when you'll get another chance.
Most importantly;
5) Consider the benefits of a diaper; you never know when the shit's going to hit the fan (unless you're Mr. Rhode).

In closing, I'd like to contribute a little to William's defense: The police have charged him with child endangerment, presumably because he pooped in public, and poop can be dangerous (it's very slippery, oh, and it harbors bacteria). What they're not taking into account is this: HE WAS WEARING A DIAPER! While seeing a grown man in a diaper can indeed be traumatic to children, at least he didn't deuce on the floor.

As my final final thought; if Michael Jackson gets off on his charges (hmm...vicious double entendre that should be edited but won't be), and this guy goes to jail, I may be made mad enough to poop...and I'm not wearing a diaper (I'll cop to the pink stretch pants though...).