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make it a brown xmas

Border guards charge teen with 'intentional toilet blockage'... is it the next Troy?

Posted 08.26.2004 by Dave
Dave, Jim Dann and Swampass all sent this in last night. Jesse Huffman, allegedly an IBS sufferer, used the bathroom at the Montana/Canada border while his friend was being busted for alcohol possession. The toilet clogged and the guards freaked out. They accused Huffman of doing it intentionally -- not an unreasonable accusation, because we all know how toilets are useful for revenge action. They charged him with misdemeanor criminal mischief. If convicted, he could get up to six months in jail and a $1000 fine.

Is this the next Troy Musil? Are we seeing a new trend of vigorous punishment of bowel-related crimes? Is THIS Ashcroft's America (as Chip Brown put it) -- where you better pray your ass doesn't step out of line?

If Huffman REALLY IS an IBS sufferer, than PoopReport extends its support. But maybe this time I'll do a little bit of character research before committing our unqualified assistance.

More as it happens... anyone want to try to get in contact with this kid?
Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Anonymous Coward -- 08.28.2004

"Officers told him "they had absolutely no plungers within 40 miles," Huffman said in his statement at the Toole County Sheriff's Office."

Maybe the guard in question also had diarrhea...that would explain his horror at the broken toilet. I know that if I was in that situation and somebody wrecked my toilet, I would fly into a rage as well.

Anonymous Coward -- 08.29.2004

I sent a letter to the editor.
"After reading the story about a young man charged with intentionally clogging a toilet at a border station in your newspaper, I thought about all the times that a family member of mine, who shall remain nameless for my safety, had clogged our toilet during the years that I was growing up. According to my physician, IBS goes un-diagnosed quite a bit due to shame; and now I know why!

This vandalism charge seems ridiculous.

I am inclined to believe the employees, who I am grateful to for guarding our borders, got caught unprepared, without a plunger, and reacted like a great deal of our country's citizens seem to do nowadays. Because we live in a society that simply cannot deal with being at the bad end of a situation and not getting to blame someone for it, they wanted their pound of flesh. And, in this situation, they just happened to be from the 1% of our society who had the authority to take it.

My sincere sympathies go out to the person who had to clean the mess up and to the young man who was so unduly embarrassed by a possibly overworked group of people who perform a very important job.

I hope the young man's family can come up with enough evidence to support their claim. In the meantime, I hope there is enough money in the federal budget for my Montana brethren to get a plunger.

In warm regards,

Daphne from Washington, owner of three bathrooms and three plungers"

PS You could reply if you consider placing my opinion in your newspaper. Otherwise, I don't have to hear from you. Have a nice weekend. I hope you have a plunger.

Let's see if they post it. Bet not.

healthy 1 (1427) -- 12.21.2006

That is just ridiculous. I can testify that IBS can cause one to have toilet clogging shits.

It is almost my bedtime, so I will not go into one of my poo-litacal rants. All I can say is, I have seen some pretty fucked up presidencies, but this one takes the cake.

I am so sick and tired of this "you pay you play" culture. It is sad that nobody gives a shit about each other anymore. Before punnishing this person, why didn't they look for proof that Jesee Huffman did, or did not have IBS.

Ooooh todays culture is pisses me off with its insensitivity.
_______
"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

Bilgepump (1752) -- 12.21.2006

Daph, why are you posting anonymously, and why the double posts? Not that I didn't enjoy them, just curious. Twice as much of you isn't enough!!

Dave (11689) -- 12.21.2006

Glitch in the system held over from the move. Or maybe the Matrix is resetting itself.

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