Resurrecting visions of goose-stepping brown shirts, Germans have initiated a crusade against men who stand while urinating!

Known to resort to drastic measures to suppress anything they declare subversive, the Germans now are outfitting their toilet seats with a little device called "Spuk" (or Spook) that rears its spooky head and raises a ruckus whenever a man fails to squat and piss.

Just in time for Halloween, about 1.6 million German toilets already are haunted by Spuk who chastises offenders with, "Excuse me, but there's a penalty for peeing while standing in this house. You'd better not risk any problems and sit down!"

This PoopReporter is left wondering if the "problems" one risks by ignoring Spuk's warning include forced labor camps or tortuous interrogations by bullies in black leather uniforms.