This news item was written up for us by our good friends at The Shaved Report.

What’s funnier than poop? Well, I’ll tell you -- getting so f’in wasted that you think it’s a good idea to stuff your mouth full of feces in order to pass a breathalyzer.

Just outside of Barrie, Ontario, a 59-year-old gentleman was pulled over for suspected drunk driving. He was then loaded into the back of a police cruiser, dispelling the common belief that Canada only has mounties on horses. While en route, dude-bro vomits, urinates and defecates all over the back seat.

After arriving at the police station, the unidentified male grabbed a handful of the more solid chunks of his diarrhea, “and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine,” said Sgt. James Buchanan, who then added, “It didn’t work.”

I guess this is the penny-under-the-tongue method for coprophiliacs.