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Crapola

Louisville area entrepreneur delivers Derby dung

Posted 05.03.2005 by Logjam
The 131st Run for the Roses will be launched at 5:00 pm, EDT, Saturday, May 7, 2005. And for a real PoopReporter, no Derby Day party would be complete without your own steaming pile of horse shit.

Party Kits & Equestrian Gifts, located in the Lyndon area of Louisville (pronounced "Loo-vull"), offers "Genuine Kentucky Thoroughbred Horse Manure," which has been dried and wrapped in plastic, for just three bucks a plop.

"We spray it to kill the bugs," store owner Becky Biesl explained. Oh, thank God it's sprayed with Raid! But does it still smell authentic? PoopReport wants to know!

Instructions, printed on the back of the shrink-wrapped crap, explain exactly how to rehydrate the contents for your maximum sniffing pleasure:

1. Place contents in shallow dish.

2. Add four tablespoons hot water to dried matter.

3. Let stand for several minutes.

4. Hold nose and pass around to guests, or place in strategic location for that extra dimension of racing realism.

In case you're interested, Biesl also sells rolls of toilet paper imprinted with horses. See www.derbygifts.com for more information on how to make your Derby Day party a stunning success.

Turd Hugegrunt
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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

Cool! Now I know how to really bring my listeners the essence of my show. I will dry some diarrhea and sell it for $3 a bag.

What a concept!

Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

Cool! Now I know how to really bring my listeners the essence of my show. I will dry some diarrhea and sell it for $3 a bag.

What a concept!

Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

This got me thinking about cloning. Imagine cloning one of the best racehorses with a bag of crap!

You could duplicate years of work from expert horse breeders. Millions of dollars of R&D on their part, yet you paid the price of one clone.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

This got me thinking about cloning. Imagine cloning one of the best racehorses with a bag of crap!

You could duplicate years of work from expert horse breeders. Millions of dollars of R&D on their part, yet you paid the price of one clone.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

What an idea, Slim Jim J. And think of the great names which, in horse racing tradition, would indicate lineage -- Seattle Slew Shit.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.03.2005

What an idea, Slim Jim J. And think of the great names which, in horse racing tradition, would indicate lineage -- Seattle Slew Shit.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.04.2005

Some Kentucky Derby winners whose clone names might be apparent and funny:
1939 Johnstown
1941 Whirlaway
1942 Shut Out
1943 Count Fleet
1881 Hindoo
1945 Hoop, Jr.
1951 Count Turf
1901 His Eminence
1967 Proud Clarion
1968 Forward Pass
1907 Pink Star
1974 Cannonade
1980 Genuine Risk
1981 Pleasant Colony
1924 Black Gold
1988 Winning Colors
1925 Flying Ebony
1989 Sunday Silence
1926 Bubbling Over
1995 Thunder Gulch
1932 Burgoo King
In fact, there seem to be a whole lotta potentially poopy Derby clones.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.04.2005

Some Kentucky Derby winners whose clone names might be apparent and funny:
1939 Johnstown
1941 Whirlaway
1942 Shut Out
1943 Count Fleet
1881 Hindoo
1945 Hoop, Jr.
1951 Count Turf
1901 His Eminence
1967 Proud Clarion
1968 Forward Pass
1907 Pink Star
1974 Cannonade
1980 Genuine Risk
1981 Pleasant Colony
1924 Black Gold
1988 Winning Colors
1925 Flying Ebony
1989 Sunday Silence
1926 Bubbling Over
1995 Thunder Gulch
1932 Burgoo King
In fact, there seem to be a whole lotta potentially poopy Derby clones.

Anonymous Coward -- 05.05.2005

This list, as it is, reads like the PoopReport Roster

Anonymous Coward -- 05.05.2005

This list, as it is, reads like the PoopReport Roster

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