Researchers at Vienna's Technical University have initiated production of a "toilet with brains" designed to help disabled or elderly people more easily dump dookie.

The robo-toilet sizes up the users with high-tech gizmos that activate swinging handrails into the proper location and adjust the seat height to accommodate people in wheelchairs. After sensing the user's last plop, the toilet then flushes automatically. Although this PoopReporter challenges the brainy john to detect the actual finality of big DungDaddy's legendary log laying.

Another question arises: what if the user came to shit but only farted? Just how smart is this crapper? PoopReport encourages Vienna's "international team of ten experts with the university's Research Group for Rehabilitation Technology" to incorporate "flatulence-only" sensors into their design to conserve water by avoiding unnecessary flushes.