"Poop doesn't have to stink."
One of the fundamental tenets of PoopReport is that we're all brothers and sisters under the tyranny of the colon. Our social hierarchies are all false, we claim; when it really boils down to it, all pretense of class and power fades under the fact that your poop stinks just as bad as the next guy.
But what if the next guy's poop didn't stink?
That may be possible, thanks to Take A Whiff, a "dietary supplement that acts as a fecal deodorizer." You take two pills a day, your poop doesn't stink. Some components of the pills promote the growth of bacteria that break down sulfur compounds in poop, while others break down the sulfur compounds directly. The result: following a few days of diarrhea while your bowels are getting used to it, your poop comes out sans sulfur. No sulfur, no smell.
Interestingly, Whiff's inventor Steve Schuster pitches this product based not on some hyperactive sense of Shameful Shitting but rather out of a sense of politeness towards his fellow man. "People use underarm deodorant every day to make sure they don't have stinky armpits," he says. "We should all be just as conscientious and considerate of others about the smell of our poop."
Now, this story would be worthless without a brave soul to step up and try it out. Even though Schuster sent me a two-month supply of pills, that brave soul is NOT your loyal webmaster. No, I passed them on to the PoopReporting community's Mae West: Chris Rockwell of The Daily Download. ("I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.")
Even Chris was skeptical. But as you can hear in this interview with Schuster, Chris is convinced that, at the least, Whiff won't kill him. Chris's experiment has begun; listen to his show to find out if Take A Whiff really does make your poop not stink. I kinda hope the product doesn't work -- it'll be a bizarre world indeed if there are actually people whose poop doesn't stink.