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The Red Bank HS poop attack

Posted 08.24.2005 by Dave
This came in email yesterday:
I am steven and I go to red bank high school in chattanooga, tennessee. I thought you should know that on wednesday the 17th of august (our 3rd day of school) we all showed up at school and were huried in the gym. Somebody broke in our school the night before and thrown poop in everything and they had to call school off for all of us at red bank. They had to call HASMAT to clean it up it is very funny. They said that there was at least 10 gallons through out the school on both floors. They are looking for the 5 people on camera who did it. It cost the school hundreds of thousands of dollars to have it cleaned up!! that is what te principal said.
I dutifully Googled. Lo and behold, his story checks out! From The Chatanoogan:

"Red Bank High School will reopen on Thursday after an all-day cleanup of extensive vandalism. Students were sent home for the day on Wednesday after urine and feces were spread around the school, including on walls, floors, lockers, classrooms and stairwells on two floors. Students were sent to the gymnasium as they arrived, then were told to go home."

While PoopReport doesn't condone vandalism, we're very proud that we've got on-the-scene reporters dispatching for us. Thanks for the update, Steven. Let us know when they catch whoever did it -- and when they figure out whether it was human or animal feces.

Following this vandalism, some columnist in Tennessee felt it necessary to defend the honor of Red Bank High School, spewing out a thousand words on the accomplishments of past graduates. This is a sign of the ultimate Shameful Shitter: he attributes magical powers of contamination to poop, as if the poop on the walls had anything to do with the honor or diginity of the school. Dude: it's just poop. The accomplishments of "Peter Hampton," "Scott Cook" and "Linda 'Link' Sparks" aren't affected by it. Stop being so neurotic.
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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Anonymous Coward -- 08.25.2005

Haha, yes I live in Chattanooga and of course heard of this incident. Didn't know that it ended up costing the school hundreds of thousands of dollars, that makes it more funny.

Anonymous Coward -- 08.25.2005

"Didn't know that it ended up costing the school hundreds of thousands of dollars, that makes it more funny."

Funny???? You, Chris, are obviously not a tax payer."

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 09.25.2005

I don't find this funny at all and agree with the second anonymous coward. The money spent on cleaning up the school could have gone toward teaching those kids hygiene and about the diseases that can be transmitted through feces.
I hope they've found those turd terrorists and given them a punishment that would deter any further pranks of this nature, like helping the janitors clean the school for the next couple of years.

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 09.25.2005

That's nasty, man! And certainly NOT funny. It's one thing to play a dog turd prank and completely different thing to trash an entire school. Gross!

Anonymous Coward (not verified) -- 03.23.2008

lol yea i was there, that was the greatest prank ever, my brother knows the people who did it and i think about 2 or 3 of them got busted

MSG (662) -- 03.24.2008

I hope they all got busted. How did they get hold of enough "material" to trash a whole school? They must have saved it up somewhere. This was not just a prank; it was a crime and should be punished.

prarie doggin (2119) -- 03.24.2008

MSG, just the fact that they had so much proved pre-meditation. What a bunch of stupid shits (the kids that is). If I was ever caught doing that, I would turn myself in, just to get protection from my parents.

sittingpretty (160) -- 03.25.2008

Anon cow 3/23/08. I think YOU did it, so where did all the shit come from? A port a potty cleaning company?

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