Oh, such decisions! What to call this --
"Hey, big spender, drop a little load on me,"
"Waiting for the poop to fall," (wasn't that a pop song by Boy Meets Girl?)
"Methane Mike, Mooster of Ceremonies?"
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"At 7:30 p.m., Canal Winchester fourth-grader Kelsey Brobst will lead her cow Nike onto the football field, which has been charted into 2,000 4-by-6-foot sections. Ticket buyers can then "purchase" one of the squares and the lucky ticket holder who "owns" the square where Nike
deposits a pile of manure wins $500."
