This learned lecture by Dr. Bindeswar Pataak was presented at the International Symposium on Public Toilets held in Hong Kong. It tells you everything you wanted to know about the history of toilets but were afraid to ask! Did you know that Queen Victoria's first toilet was embossed with gold? Did you know that the Tsar of Russia's personal toilet paper was embossed with the Imperial Double Eagle? Do you know when public toilets first provided separate facilities for men and women? After reading this lecture, you'll know more about toilets than just about anyone.