Sometimes I think God created us because He was bored and there was nothing good on TV that night.
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"Dear Cecil:

"While discussing a gay acquaintance recently, my friend Mary, a nurse, lauded him by adding, 'and he's no damn gerbil stuffer, either.'

"When I protested that she should not perpetuate cruel stereotypes of our homosexual brethren, she informed me that she personally had witnessed a fellow admitted by her hospital to remove a deceased gerbil lodged in his rectum. That gentleman is now doomed to be tied to a colostomy bag through eternity.

"What I'd like to know is, what are the mechanics and philosophy of gerbil stuffing? How are the gerbils inserted and retrieved? Don't they bite and scratch? Why not hamsters or snakes? Is this a common practice? My curious friends and I await your reply with bated breath."

The Straight Dope says...