The normal weight of poop is 9oz, 20% of that weight is intestinal bacteria.

I will try to predict the size of my next poop. I predict it will be nine inches long and 1.5 inches thick. Let's see how close I am.
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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

The normal weight of poop is 9oz, 20% of that weight is intestinal bacteria.

Where do you get that? I've done a lot of research on this, and haven't found anything conclusive. I've settled on a half pound of poop per person per day, but that's an educated guess.

(Furthermore, it's misleading to suggest that there's an "average" size for poop. It various wildly from person to person, based on their diet, metabolism, and environment. I use a half-pound per person as the individual's average share of the society's total daily poop production.)

I think I fall outside your average, Dave. I KNOW I make more than a half pound per day. This is an interesting formula, but it would probably work better for say, dogs who are being fed a constant diet of dry kibble for several days. Human diet, not to mention differences in GI tract speed, enzyme production differences that can lead to more or less undigested material, etc. is just too variable to predict much of anything. Although, this could be cool...find out what foods you should eat to make the largest poop you can. I'm guessing things like bran, oatmeal, vegetables...high fiber foods.

The 20% of the weight being bacteria is a fairly close estimate, but it can vary depending on how long the poo is in the large intestine. If it's not there long, there won't be as many bacteria present. Trust me, I see this stuff all the time, I'm a microbiologist ;)

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An apple a day keeps the ExLax away!

I did come close with my prediction. My poop was 8.5 inches long and 1.5 inches thick this morning.

I Googled that info. I'll try to find the site, I should have copied the info. I totally agree that there is no set weight of a bowel movement.

I was not trying to say that there is an average size to poop, just an average weight.

Let's see how this theory proves out, in the mean time, I'll try to dig up that website.

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It's not nice to fool mother nature.

hello,
my comment is that lately i have been eating a low carb diet, not to the extream about 120 carbs a day. Anyways my bowel movements are so large it scares me. They are long about 12 inches and thick in tubular size.I have had a health bowel history. Just wondering perhaps i will lose some more weight.Tell me if normal texture but huge in size is okay

Anonymous Coward wrote: "Tell me if normal texture but huge in size is okay".

Okay in my book!

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"NEVER. ENOUGH. BACON!"--GoBoy

That equation looks like science fiction, something Klaatu would have written on Sam Jaffee's blackboard in the film, "The Day The Earth Stood Still." I'm wondering if an equation for poop size really belongs in quantum mechanics. BTW, I got a D+ in Calculus. Just not my thing.
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Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

I like it. Now I just need to get equipment installed to measure fermentation rates and bacteria population.

I would like to know how much those big balls of shit weigh when I take a crap. But that would involve messing up a scale and that would just be plain gross.

What the hell! You guys just sit around all day and talk about feeding shitsharks???

Now we're going to sit around and talk about feeding YOU to the shitsharks.

This formula makes no sense to me. In plain English, this formula states that the weight of your turds is a function of fiber, bacteria and metabolites. Well, I'm no shit expert, but what about the "undigested corn" factor??? It's certainly not bacteria. It can't be metabolites, because it hasn't been metabolized. And although corn contains fiber, this is still "undigested" fiber and (probably) won't hold any more fluids than it had when it came in. Unless you eat "feed" grain, in which case, you're a cow and not a human being.

Furthermore, the water-holding factors all assume that, no matter the composition of the fiber, the bacteria or the metabolites, their respective abilities to hold water remain constant. This only makes sense if there's one type of each and that they are fully saturated.

I suppose that if this formula were used only for approximations, it might be useful. However, I wouldn't rely on it too much.

Besides, how would you break your turds down into these constituent components so that you could get an accurate measurement? Hopefully, not with a centrifuge. If the lid should come off during the separation process, you've got an instant poo spirograph for your room.

Now, if you really want to guess what the average size of your poop is, I would recommend that you crap into a graduated cylinder and record the displacement (either in liters or grams). Do this for a year. Compute the weight and then divide by the number of sessions.

Voila! The next time you set on the pot, your turd will weigh approximately that amount.

(BTW, this technique is really only accurate if the preponderance of your poop is floaters and/or diarrhea. It's less accurate if your poop is usually a sinker, although you can figure out the minimum weight (and density) of your average shit.)

A word of warning! People who have a hard time keeping their balance, especially while squatting, should probably not do this. If you slip and fall with a glass beaker under your ass, you're going to have explain to the entire Emergency Room staff how you managed to get a circular laceration on your shitbox while they're stitching you up.
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Jeezus! Do I have to be long-winded about everything?!?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Apparently.

Hey DP, the next time you're 'long winded', could please use the air freshener?
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....