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oxypowder

Make your way across the pooniverse

Posted 03.30.2006 by Dave
"I'm a writer for collegehumor and other venues," emails Chris. "I wrote an update about fecal matter on ice in my blog (I'm sure you've already covered this.) I don't know if you link or what, but you're more than welcome to link/post this as long as you credit me. Thanks!" Fecal matter on ice... I don't think we've talked about that yet. Thanks, Chris!

Burgerlog believes brevity is the soul of email: "a great funny/cute poop site!

Todd enjoyed the chili cookoff. My lovely wife Jenny found small toilets. Can't remember where I found it, but here's a bathroom signs photoset from Flickr. Though we've seen most of these before, Arnold points us to the Great John, poop names, and Shizagram. SamDamnit found fancy toilets. And Sam and Jeff and about a million people point us to the poop hat.

In a comment somewhere on the site, Poo_poo_poodio posted a link to this video. I wanted to make sure everyone saw it -- it's hilarious.

PooperGal found a bunch of poop on Engrish.com. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Turd Ferguson writes in: "I found this article quite by accident and immediately thought of the PoopReport. (By the way, I agree with this wholeheartedly.)"

SamDamnit found this taped above the urinals at work:

That guy from Turdzilla has figured out the pattern: if you send me weird emails, I post them. "Hi Dave, I'm just getting the word out that I have a fresh video showing off my new video capabilities. This is just a teaser while i shoot the real RUIN video which will be as big as a low budget movie. See what I'm capable of and why record companies want to own me. I refuse to sign anything, I'm too old to give them 5 to 7 albums and get roadrash in search of herpes. I'm going to do things my way, the video way. Monsturd is more the direction I'm going, but I don't plan to imitate them. I have something special planned that will make an even bigger stink. Now that I've hit maids with hammers in this video it will be harder to find victims, err.... models."

Xanderde writes: "Read about my experimentation and subsequent anal leakage here." Will do.

A recent story by Pill Pooper has become the talk of a Ferrari messageboard.

Scatoman says: "This is a thread from a comedy forum I have frequented for some time (the April 04 joining date on my username was the first day of the *third* incarnation of the forum, I think). I used to be a stand-up comic on the Manchester comedy circuit. Anyway, one of the guys, Barry -- whose act is peppered with sick, twisted material - used to be a materials manager at a hospital. Check out his tales and uses for various implements. The "sluicemaster" one is ace." Scatoman was a stand-up?

Dave from Steve's Word has a question. "I'm shooting a movie and I need a 'recipe' for making human feces. I figureds youd be the guy to ask. It is a prop in the movie. I would use real shit, but this stuff needs to be handled, so it should probably be artificial, for sanitation purposes. I'm wondering if you could give me a lead on how to doctor up a couple logs. Any help is appreciated." I gave him this link. Anybody got any other ideas?

Finally, SamDamnit has this follow-up to his BMNewswire post about controlling pee splatter. Maybe this will help:

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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.
Lame comment! -1 point
KeepOnCrappin (545) -- 03.30.2006

Are you supposed to put your apparaatus in that monopod thing?

I would not want to put my delivery device in somthing other people put theirs in (Unless it was a female somthing)

Yay first post

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Rat Droppings (175) -- 03.30.2006

Interesting links. The Turdzilla video was good.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

amy kuthan of indyependence ohio (not verified) -- 03.31.2006

WHAT IS THAT THING FOR??

Poop Shooter (597) -- 03.31.2006

Great conglomerate of stuff Dave. I really like the "Spinal Tap Poopie" on the names for poop web site. "A shit that comes out sideways and hurts your back" or something like that.

The ferrari guys saying we were fake, unmoderated and boring... those butt's!!

That last picture with the pecker stand. That would be kinda cool, but not for use in public. I would use one at home though. I would never have to put my book down!!


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See what's happening on The Dumpster Debacle
Poop Shooter!

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 04.01.2006

Poop news overload!!!

The little Burgerlog turds had me laughing. They're pretty cute.
I've seen little toilets at pre-schools/elementary schools before, and I always wondered where they got them. Now I know!
That fancy heart shaped toilet (I know, it's supposed to be a lily) doesn't look like it would be comfortable for guys. Your packages would hang out the front.

To all you Ferrari drivers that admit to enjoying PoopReport: Welcome!
To the other Ferrari drivers: there's no shame in it. Everyone poops. Be proud, be shameless, join PR! :)

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this in the forums, but you could try making a bean paste and shaping it into turds. Beans are cheap and the color is close to poop, depending which kind you buy.

Bunghole In the... (432) -- 04.01.2006

Re: Idea for making shit. Sawdust (to add realistic "fiber" texture), Plaster of Paris, water, colorant and whatever food stuffs like sunflower seeds. Quickly mold into desired shapes (P of P sets up quickly), then once dry lacquer with a semigloss.

Rat Droppings (175) -- 04.01.2006

I can't believe I just read that entire list of names for poop at poopnames.com. They were funny though.

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"Rectum hell, killed em' both." Author Unknown

Bunghole In the... (432) -- 04.01.2006

This was a beautiful conglomerate of Poop related hodgepodge, Dave. Thank you.

Did your title stem from love of The Beatles?

Jai Guru Deva


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"Odor in the court! The judge is eating beans--his wife is in the bathtub counting submarines." Author Unknown

Dave (11538) -- 04.02.2006

Did your title stem from love of The Beatles?

Yes -- the title came from the Beatles song. Glad you noticed!

PooperGal (527) -- 04.03.2006

NEWS UPDATE:

OH MY GAWD!!!! They've stolen Jerry Garcia's crapper!!!!! Who would steal the porcelain throne of the Grateful Dead's king? I'll get the details and report back.


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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

Poop Sculptor (not verified) -- 01.07.2007

A kid showed me a fake poop he made. It was the most realistic homemade turd I've seen. Here's his method:
Materials needed: Cement (not concrete, just cement); coarse sand; 1 foot of garden hose; pigment (available at some hardware stores); wooden dowel just smaller diameter than inside diameter of hose.
Mix the cement and sand 1:4 ratio.
Add pigment to color desired (brown, tan, ochre, etc.)
Add water a few ounces at a time, mixing thoroughly, until the mixture is about the consistency of the sand you'd drip to make a sand castle. Firm enough to sag a little when dropped on the ground, but not too wet.
Wearing gloves, pack the mixture into the piece of garden hose until full (depends on how big a turd you want, actually).
Hold the hose with one opening about six inches off the ground and, using the dowel, push the cement/sand mixture out. When it drops, move the hose a little to allow it to coil/fold upon itself.
Allow it to harden, then spray it with lacquer or clear gloss acrylic to give it a "wet" look.

Experiment with this technique and I think you'll appreciate the variety of doots you can make. They're excellent door stops. Not sure if they make good gifts, but maybe for some they would.

The key is to allow the mixture to hit the ground and slump. Very realistic if done right. Remember that the concrete will dry a lighter color than when wet. You might want to drop the turds on wax paper or a piece of plastic.

Remember: cement is highly alkaline and can cause skin problems for those who are sensitive. Wear gloves, and if you get cement on your hands for prolonged periods, rinse your hands with vinegar to neutralize it.
Good luck!

healthy 1 (1421) -- 01.07.2007

In the small toilets link, the toilet in the picture, reminds me of a hat box.
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"-55F, a new record low? Nope, thermometer went bad. Looks like -50F still stands"

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