Back at work? Procrastinate here.

Back at work? Procrastinate here.

Posted 11.28.2005 by Dave

The Monday morning after Thanksgiving. If you're anything like me, you're feeling bloated and lazy as you reminisce about the great food you ate and the marathon toilet sessions that food engendered. The last thing you're interested in is doing your job.

The first thing you should do, of course, is shop. You'll find great holiday gift ideas on the 2005 PoopReport holiday gift guide: soap designed to eliminate butt pimples. Glow-in-the-dark strips that let you see where you pee. The miracle of the bidet. And, of course, great merchandise from your favorite site dedicated to the intellectual appreciation of poop humor.

Once you've spent your money, enjoy the links below. Scatoman, for instance, found a full clip of the angry janitor. He has also found an exhaustive list of toilet-related injuries, which is nicely complemented by the list of people who died in the bathroom. Finally, he found some good news for the people of San Antonio: they can get their old toilets replaced for free. What better Christmas present to yourself than a new, ecologically-sound toilet?

L. Wrong Hubbard finds a candidate for the Darwin Awards who nearly died in a toilet-related welding explosion. He also found the world's most sophisticated toilet.

From Crapola: Halloween moon and talking toilet paper. Adam B. sends us video of Mr. Floatie in action. And my friend Jeff from Peeper Radio (give it a listen!) makes me wish I could shop in Sweden this Christmas. Because in Sweden you can buy Pee and Poo.

Ever wondered why toilet public toilet seats are horseshoe-shaped, with the notch cut out of the middle? Wonder no more.

Old but still funny: Oops, I crapped my pants.

David S. writes in: "yo dave, i just stumbled upon your site. hilarious stuff. I have many many genious poop musings/stories, but 2 that would be great on this site would be here: Moving in With Your Girlfriend and Backed Up." Give them a read.

Professor Lump has discovered the Shizagram. And Larfus has sent me a video, but my stupid corporate web filter blocked it, so I have no idea what it is.

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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.

Logjam (2452) -- 11.28.2005

The video recommended by Larfus were'nt that great, but I highly recommend the angry janitor link.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 11.28.2005

Make sure you all (yes that means YOU TBW, TSV, everyoneelse, etc.) vist the PR store ans support our site.

Yay second post

scatoman (253) -- 11.28.2005

Logjam, glad you like the Angry Janitor clip. I was amazed to find the whole clip online, and just couldn't wait to share it with everyone. I could listen to it all day - the guy's reaction is hilarious!

Dave (11657) -- 11.28.2005

Amen, KeepOnCrappin! Somebody's on the fast track to uberpooper!

L Wrong Hubbard (216) -- 11.28.2005

An excellent collection of post-TDay goodies. Thanks Dave.
Now to book my flight to Sweden and shake the hand of the man who invented Pee & Poo (registered trademark)
Happy trails,
L. Wrong
Chairman & CEO, PPK Industries

Logjam (2452) -- 11.29.2005

Scatoman, the Angry Janitor (Willy) is one of the funniest things I've heard all year. I kept thinking of it all last night, and woke up this morning with some of the lines still in my head ("Someone left a big-ol stinkin dump down there, an I wanna find out who done it. Was it you?"). So I can't thank you enough. Anyone who hasn't listened to this yet should do themselves the great favor.

scatoman (253) -- 11.29.2005

I can't stop playing it. Although Willie's constant stream about the state of the bathroom is superb, even funnier for me is the guy's reaction - he laughs like Muttley and it sounds like he's going to asphyxiate. One of the funniest things I've ever heard!

Logjam (2452) -- 11.29.2005

Yes, I agree that the listener's laughter, which at first he tried his best to stiffle, is a critical component. His laugh, and Willie's dead-pan rant, play off each other perfectly.

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 11.29.2005

I have now downloaded the Angry Janitor [From now on to be know as TAJ for sake of laziness] to my computer. God, it's SO hilarious. You can tell it's funny and you should laugh even if you don't get it (But how it is possibleto not get the jokes I dont know) becuase if somthing is reharsed enogh it becomes not funny, but obviously it's funny enough becuase they're still laughing. Sorry for all of you i just confused there. Dave, if I'm on my way to uberpoopness (which i most definanly am) how about some extra points to get me started?

mott the poople (126) -- 11.30.2005

TAJ is cool. I really laughed when he said it looked like his cousin Leroy. I was waiting to hear "and I think to myself...what a wonderful world....oh yeah"

BTW...I'm definitely sending a anon shitzgram to a dear old friend. If they could only add scent.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Dave (11657) -- 11.30.2005

KeepOnCrappin: nice try. But try submitting a story -- it's worth 10 whole points when it gets posted!

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 11.30.2005

A story eh? Ill be right with ya. Give me a day or two - My poop chute's processing some chalupas right now.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 12.01.2005

I just about peed my pants while listening to the Angry Janitor!
Hilarious!

healthy 1 (1427) -- 11.28.2006

Some of the links no longer work. The Angry Janitor one is a blast.

Thanks for these links Dave, I know a few people who might get a charge out of The Angry Janitor.
_______
A man who farts in church, sits in his own pew.