I don't care if I go bankrupt; I'm not conducting commerce on the crapper. If somebody is too busy to take time off to poop, they either have a time-management problem, or an overinflated sense of their own importance. Sheesh!

Fucking hell! The things people do in the pursuit of the almighty dollar. If you have to work this hard to pretend to be rich, get help! Money is the new false religion in this country and it makes me want to puke. Fucking yuppies!

Is anyone here old enough to remember (or young enough to have watched reruns on TV Land) "Get Smart"? The "Cone of Silence" would be the perfect doohicky for idjits who use cell phones when on the crapper.
PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

It always freaks me out when I'm in the bathroom with the one making the call. That sudden "Hi" when they are talking on the their phone makes me jump every time. Brings out my paranoia really quick. "OMG - why is this stranger talking to me?"

PooperGal, you'd have to make those cell phones into shoe phones.

Forgot to add that the Toto bathroom answers our question from another Poop Report thread. The three shells. It has three settings of bidet. Who was it who suggested that explanation? Was it you, Dave?

More people should take their toilet time as a time to relax and poop rather than forcing themselves to conduct business whild popping out their waste. I'm sure there should be a law or commandment against this sort of thing.

I have however used the loo while on the telephone. Ususlly just friends. It's always fun to put the phone next to the toilet when you flush it. There is usually a slight pause when they realize what what you just did followed by a few select compliments.

Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

Geez, why didn't I think of all this bathroom communication gadgetry? Oh, that's right, because I am not insane. Our contemporary culture always pushes distraction through consumerism to the extreme. We can never be content to simply be. We must always be distracted by an iPod, notebook, Blackberry, cell phone, PSP, I mean damn, where does it end?

Then we get so pissed when our teens don't listen or focus. We condition them to be unable to do so. Amazing.

You know, Cracktacular, that's my theory about AD(H)D these days.

Much as R D Laing thought schizophrenia to be a response to make an unliveable situation liveable, I believe that AD(H)D is a reaction to the society we're creating. Everything has to be now, now, now!

This bathroom business is bloody scary to me. Where the hell will it end?

I don't even own a cellphone. I had one when I lived in England, but I haven't had one since I came to the States. And you know what? I don't think I'll be bothering. It's so liberating, not having a cellphone.

You said it, cracktacular! As I stated above, it has a lot to do with society's obsession with earning money. Have you guys noticed the disturbing trend recently to worship the filthy rich? That's why Donald Trump, Bill Gates, and all these fuckers are gods. Half of southern California is populated by people who moved there just to pretend they are rich and they all end up being a slave to their computers, cell phones, and message systems.

Not to mention driving like idiots on the road because they think it's "cool" to drive fast.

I work in cell phone tech support myself and I get a LOT of idiots who have dropped their phones in the toilet. I often take my phone into the crapper with me, but for the life of me I can't understand why people drop it in there. I mean, really, it's not that hard to hold a phone, people. I can see it being dropped in a toilet when, say, you bend over the toilet and you have the phone in your shirt pocket and it just pops out, but not wile you're pooping.

For the record, I usually take my phone in with me to use the Internet (WAP browser) while I'm shitting, or to play games. Occasionally I will text message or IM, but I try to only make calls when I think I'm alone and am pressed for time. I realize other people don't like it, and there are even signs prohibiting phone on crapper use in the bathroom at work, but it just doesn't bother me. However, I'm not important enough to make business calls, but I wouldn't do so on the crapper. Having your boss hear your poop plop is a surefire way to get fired.

Being a SoCal native, I have to agree with TSV.
There are plenty of wanna-bees here. I turn all my electronic crap off if I need true R&R.
And yes I think its "cool" to drive fast, as I own a fast car. I generally do it at night because all the idiots are home being some kind of slave.

People generally like technology that makes life better. I have been in IT for some time and things like this web site are what make life a little more fun and bearable. The day these conveniences have their power switch removed will be ugly. I'm all for the modern bathroom, as long as there is a switch.

BTW....I always wanted a cow milking machine somewhere in the bathroom. And no, NOT for my girlfriend!

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

I've had a hand-held Yahtzee game in the bathroom for a few years now. It's a big part of pooping at home now...like eating and watching TV. I pretend that if I get a certain score that I have saved the world or the USA from destruction. I usually get to play about 3 or 4 games during an average dump. By the way, I've saved our country and the Earth several times, in case anybody was wondering. No thanks needed. Carry on.

Dave, is there any way to just give me 1/3 of a point for my last post? And delete this one so that I'm stuck on 33 1/3 for awhile?

Nope, TT&T, you will just have to go on to 333 1/3!

Ass Blaster,
I worked for years in the audio-visual field at conventions and corporate meetings. I have occasionally heard the splash myself as pagers, beepers and cell phones went for a swim in the brown waters. Most of the time this occurs because the minaturized computerized gizmo falls out of their pants pockets when they squat above the toilet droping trowsers/skirts. I must disagree with your assertion that it falls from their hand into the toilet. Someone talking on the phone while pooing could wipe with the wrong hand, have you ever encountered one of those in your shop? I used to clean out communal keyboards at a telemarketing center so I feel your pain brother! Wear rubber gloves and spray out the sludge with an air-gun out the back door.
There is an air of rebellion against "the man" in this chat thread and I must say I rather like it. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who sees through the lies and I am comforted to hear I'm not alone.

I'm not so worried about people using phones on the toilet as I am worried about what the computers with waterproof touch screens in showers will encourage the teenage male population to do, or do more often.

I think I made a mistake by limiting that to just teenage males. Most guys of any age will take advantage of that.

Why do you think I want the cow milking machine?

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Mott, are you a teenaged male?

The bathroom cum office is really going over the top!

I don't want to do my business when I am doing my business!

When I had finished at university, I took on a temporary job to 'tide me over' for a short time. It was with a little Hitler of a boss, who seemed to enjoy ordering me around because I was a lot better qualified than he was. (Fortunately, I was able to get the job I wanted without having to ask him for a reference.)

He had the awful habit of ringing me at all times of the day, leaving a message on my answering machine if I was unavailable, telling me to ring him back, but never giving me anything for the tel calls I made at my expense, for HIS BENEFIT.

One morning, it wasn't very convenient to answer straightaway. When I got to the phone he said I had been a long while answering. I replied 'I was wiping my bottom!' - which was true. He never said 'Sorry'. When I left for a better, I made up my mind always to switch the ringing tone of the 'phone off when in the shower or on the toilet.

Evacuating my bowels is a time for emptying my mind also, yoga-like.

Orifice work and office work do not mix.

Uh...OK D0c...

Dumpst:
Almost as bad.....a divorced 40 yr old.
I really dont think age matters though.
Some habits (we all have that started around 13) are HARD to break! (females too..buzzzz)
Actually, knowing what I know now, I WOULD like to be a teen again.

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

Mott, there are only three rules middle aged-men have to remember:

1. Never waste an erection.

2. It isn't always just gas.

3. I, uh, can't remember what the third one is....

Dumpster,

3. Remember rule #1 and #2

_______
Have a Crappy Day!! Poop Shooter!

I think ThatGuyinaTurdSuit is right about electronics falling off the belt/back pocket. We use walkie-talkies at work, which we sign in and out before and after our shift. Several of them have had to be dismantled into parts to dry overnight before they'll work again. Those of us that work Customer Service know WHICH # radios have been dropped in the potty, so we make sure NOT to get THOSE!

LMFAO...Excellent replys.
I love this site!

Asphincter says WHAT...(!)

In my job I have to carry a cell phone with me into the bathroom in case a resident makes an emergency call. (I'm an EMT who works night shift in a large retirement community.) And twice I have received calls while doing my "necessary paperwork." One was from my supervisor and another was from a resident who was feeling sick.
However, I would never by choice have a telephone conversation while going to the toilet! I hate it when people talk through the door at me while I'm on the can. It's a private moment, People, and while I have taken the Shameless Shitter pledge, I really don't want to share any more than I have to of my Daily Doo!
While part of me thinks that I would someday like to be wealthy enough to have a well-equipped throne complete with bidet, the only other thing I really need besides toilet paper and my coveted moist wipes is a magazine rack! And the only thing that will be put on hold while I'm in my fabulous top-of-the-line bathroom is my calls!

_______
Have a crappy day!
La Petomaine