Bus driver loses job over bathroom trip

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The ongoing debate regarding the fundamental "Right to Poop" was recently highlighted in Grand Blanc, Michigan, where a bus driver says a trip to the bathroom cost her her job. When nature called in an urgent fashion, the driver, who has been diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), left a number of elementary school children unattended on the bus to attend to an even more urgent number: two.

The diarrhea summons and the bus both arrived at the school about ten minutes before classes began. Students in grades K-5 were on the bus; but the desperate driver, out of time to call another adult to the vehicle, told older students to supervise while she "went" inside. Although she took the bus keys and was gone for no more than three or four minutes, her supervisor was standing by the bus when she returned. Ach, that's probably enough to give one yet another batch of butt pee!

Claiming she "had no choice," the bus driver said she "couldn't have stopped what was happening." Like many IBS sufferers, she "didn't have the luxury of advance notice."

Parents' reactions were mixed. One whose kindergartner rode this bus said she's concerned about children being alone, but she's not sure the driver is to blame. "I would think they would try to come up with a solution by having someone there to relieve the (bus drivers) if they can," she said. Or, this writer wonders, give them a can to relieve themselves in?

Two other parents said they sympathize with the driver, but don't think children should be left unattended. "If she knew that it was a fireable offense, then she probably should have been fired," said one mother who has two children at the school. (A fire-in-the-hole offense, this writer again wonders.) Another parent, acknowledging, "I'd probably be upset," doesn't know whether the driver should have been fired.

And yet again, the sacred rights of shitters are trampled into the, err, mud.

This brings to the forefront two issues of import to this site: first, the restroom-related responsibilities of school bus drivers (see "Bus driver sends child into stranger's bathroom"); and second, the rights of IBS victims, of which this writer is one. Since it is well-known that bus driving causes stress (ask Ralph Kramden), should every prospective driver be screened for IBS? Should Imodium be standard-issue, along with the tip jug and the bowtie? Or perhaps the tip jug could serve a double "dooty" in extreme circumstances such as these. The internal dialogue rages: "to bus or to bust?"

44 Comments on "Bus driver loses job over bathroom trip"

PooperGal's picture
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A classic "Hobson's Choice" for the driver. I feel sorry for her. If I had IBS and the kind of job where my access to a toilet is limited, I'd bite the bullet and wear Depends on the job. Better to have the insurance tucked under my butt than push the odds.


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PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

GottaGoGirl's picture
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Wait a minute! (Okay those of you with IBS can GO, and then come back). The bus was AT the school, yes? It wasn't on the railroad tracks or parked on Venice Beach. It was ON school property, am I correct?

It was 10 minutes before classes began, the report states. Why didn't the little boogers just get off the bus and go to class, or play on the playground? I don't get it, and I think the poor driver has grounds for a wrongful termination suit.


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"You polished up my low-flow, and I dirtied up your bowl!"

Bunga Din's picture
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Good debut report Dumpster, a classic catch (twenty) 2 situation. Anyone with children will remember the lines from that show "the Magic School Bus:

Cruisin' on down Main Street
You're relaxed and feeling good,
Next thing that you know you're feelin'
A massive burst of doood?!

Surfin' on a sound wave
Then you're swingin' through the pass,
Take a left at your intestine
Take your second right past my ass

On The Magic School Bus, Navigate a colon,
Climb on The Magic School Bus, crank a rank one, too,
On our Magic School Bus (Raft a river of butt lava),
On the Magic School Bus (Such a fine thing to dooo)!

So strap your bones right to the seat,
Come on in and don't be shy
Just to make your day complete
You might get served ass pie!

On The Magic School Bus,
Step inside, it's a wild ride!
Come on! Ride on The Magic School Bus!

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
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Nice report. What a horrible position to be in, without a contingency plan... My heart went out to the bus driver.

While I loved the Magic School Bus, the tune to The Door's Magic Bus kept running through my head. Here's a poop verion:

Every day my colon feels the queue (Too much, Magic Bus)
To get off that bus and visit the loo (Too much, Magic Bus)
Colon’s a churning, I just sit and squirm (Too much, Magic Bus)
The School is only another turn (Too much, Magic Bus)

Thank you, bus, for getting me here (Too much, Magic Bus)
Imodium has failed, butt lava is near (Too much, Magic Bus)
I don't want to cause no fuss (Too much, Magic Bus)
How long before my pants are a’muss ? (Too much, Magic Bus)

Nooooooooo!

I don't care how much I pray and pray (Too much, Magic Bus)
I wanna drive my bus to a toilet each day (Too much, Magic Bus)

I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it ... (You can't have it!)
Butt trumpets and suspense every day
Need to get to school and poop away
Butt trumpets and suspense each day
'Cause I need the toilet in the worst way

Magic Bus, Magic Bus, Magic Bus ...

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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I don't have IBS, but I was wondering: would there be certain jobs that someone with IBS would not qualify for because of the uncertainties associated with the condition? If so, is the IBS sufferer obligated to mention this to the employer beforehand?

Does the employer have the right to turn down an IBS sufferer for certain positions on the grounds that untenable situations would arise?
Could we have some input from IBS sufferers?

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Bunga Din's picture
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BITJ, Magic Bus is a song by The Who, as George Bush has said "fool me once, shame, shame on you, fool me twice WE WON"T GET FOOLED AGAIN".

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
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Can't put one over on you, you veritable powerhouse of musical knowledge. I stand 'kerected, Bunga Din. I love when you quote G. W.

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

Cyanocobalamin's picture
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Have the Magic Bus songs been filed in Pooetry yet?

George Eliot Butterz's picture
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*Was racking his brains about that song* I'm a certified Doors fanatic... wondered whether I'd missed out on a classic number (!) Yeah definitely not the Doors...

Jim did, however, sing about the 'blue bus' in the seminal song, 'The End'.

this, IS The Doors:

Love me doo times, baby
Love me twice today
Love me doo times, girl
I’m goin’ away
Love me doo times, girl
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Love me doo times
I’m goin’ away


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A turd in the hand is worth two in the bush

Bunghole In the Jungle's picture
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Don't you love her ass she's walking out the back door.

keeping the whack in tally-ho...
Fartuituos!
Serenshittipy!

Bunga Din's picture
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Time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a rectal pile

Couldn't resist!

Poop Shooter's picture
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I have no problem with the driver leaving the kids on the bus at the school. However, she or he could have phoned ahead (all drivers have cell phones) and had someone waiting there when she or he pulled up.

People are so damn anal these days. Everyone needs to RELAX and have a good shit!


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Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Bunga, somehow I think Jim Morrison would have understood and approved of your rewrite. He was a little too off-the-wall for his own good, as it turned out.

But I liked his music.

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

Fart Poopie's picture
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Come on baby, flush my mire.
Trying to daub the world in mire!!

Sorry, after Bunga's little outburst, I couldn't resist.

The Dumpster's picture
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The ditty in my head goes 'round and 'round....

The Big Wiper's picture
PoopReport of the Year AwardComment Quality Moderatori 2000+ points
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Might as well sing '99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall!'

Pulling My Pants Down For Peace, Plop and Posterity!

historian's picture
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Hey, IBS is a disability. If you're missing a hand, you can't be a typist. If you're missing a leg, you can't be a fireman. If you have IBS, you certainly SHOULDN'T be a bus driver. Face the fact that life isn't fair and get a different job. Okay, everybody, go on ahead and call me a politically incorrect, insensitive jerk.

Fart Poopie's picture
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no, I'll just call you a coward for not registering. ;)

Poop Shooter's picture
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I agree with Historian. people with IBS shouldn't do jobs where they will not be able to treat their ailment. If your handicapped so that ya shit often, do a job where you can poop easily. Just like a crippled person would make a bad jogging instructor. DUH!


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Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

KeepOnCrappin's picture
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NIce, FP. But Historian and PS doo make good points. Don't doo a job where you have to be worrying about yourself all the time. IBS sufferers could be, say, an airline pilot (they'd make more money than driving a bus too) THe crapper is just a few steps behind the cockpit. OR they could be a janitor. 'nuff said.

What else could an IBS sufferer doo that would give them ready access to a toilet?

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"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

Poop Shooter's picture
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All IBS sufferers have to be Janitors or the towel hander-out-persons in fancy bathrooms.

There, it's settled!


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Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

Fart Poopie's picture
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Good luck getting IBS sufferers to agree with you. How long had that woman been a bus driver before this incident? She has one attack and she's told she can no longer work. I don't see it as fair. The kids were at the school, she should have gotten away with a warning or at most a few days suspension.

Could you guys look a handicapped child in the eyes and tell him/her that (s)he will never play his/her favorite competitive team sport, join in a marathon or that they'll never be a gym teacher, if that's what they want to be? If you could, you're a heartless bastard.

PS. I've seen a guy coach basketball in a wheel chair. Most people can overcome physical limitations, it's all in the attitude.

Poop Shooter's picture
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Introducing the All New "BUTT PLUG 6000" designed by some of americas leading analologists for the temporary relief of IBS. Just insert the BUTT PLUG 6000 into your butt in the morning, making sure to secure the leg and waist straps. Feel comfortable that when the need to poo comes, you need not do anything. The BUTT PLUG 6000 will take over and not let a drop of poo escape.

Order the DELUX 6000 model and you will receive the optional patented ASS GASS VALVE. The AGV is an easy remote controlled switch that when pressed will let you break wind without breaking a seam in your drawers.

Order now while supplies last. Send credit card, check or money order for $19.95 to BP6K Box 888 Poopersburg, PA 10010. Your BR6K will be shipped out promptly and your credit card will be billed only $49.99 for the next 24 months.

If you are not sastified with your purchase, feel free to keep it, as we do not want it back after it's been in your stinky ass.


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Poop Shooter

Poop Shooter!

TurdyTreeAnaTurd's picture
l 100+ points
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lol Poop Shooter, glad you got a free "plug" in for your product. By the way, why is it the 6000 model? Just curious.
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IBS = Ima Bouta Splode...

KeepOnCrappin's picture
k 500+ points
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PS, I liked your ad. Too bad we can't buy it. (Dave, be sure to put the Butt Plug in ButtPlugs, PR.com's marketplace)

FP, doctors doo it all the time. For instance, Hellen Keller. Your attitude may help you overcome weak or not-fully-formed legs, but I don't know how you can train yourself to hold in a dump. I mean, we can condition ourselves to run faster, but, as referenced by the stories on this site, we can't always hold in our poop.

_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

The Dumpster's picture
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Problem is, when some of us (especially lawyers and politicians) use PS's butt plug, the shit just comes out of our mouths, instead.

historian's picture
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fart poopie: You live in a fantasy world.

Fart Poopie's picture
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You're right historian! It must be a fantasy world... that explains the flying turds that appear on these threads...

Oh wait. Those are just the people that feel like criticizing yet don't have the balls to register.

KeepOnCrappin's picture
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And it doesn't even take balls to register. You don't have to give anyone (even Dave) your address or phone number. Anyone (even though us regisTURD users know no one is) here could be some fake person who just makes up crap. BUt no one is that, so no worries about registering!
_______
"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

"KOC -- the Cool Crapper" - Rat Droppings

sharty mcfly's picture
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Dude, wouldnt it have been more upsetting for the children to have witnessed an adult shitting themselves? And as far as a fireable offense, as many of you know i worked at a summer camp... and if people really knew how inadequate some of the people they were paying to watch their children were, ugh getting left on the bus for 10 minutes with it locked is no big deal. Builds character, wuss ass kids these days. This is really minor, as far as a solution to it, employers do have to accomodate employees with disabilities and if ibs is declared a disability why not just hook her up with one of those buses with a can in the back?

yours in time,

Sharty Mcfly

Poop Shooter's picture
k 500+ points
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Sharty, good idea, but I like my "BUTT PLUG 6000" idea much better. cheaper too!!


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Poop Shooter!

Poop Shooter!

Double Flush's picture
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I can understand the concern with leaving kids on a bus unattended, such as a freak accident happening or a fight starting. But 10 minutes before class AND on school property? Just let the kids go on to the classroom a few minutes early, or, if nothing else, at least get them in the building where some adult is sure to be. The driver is not at fault as much as they make it out to be. Sure, she shouldn't have just left the kids unattended like that, but it WAS on school property where it would have been very easy to get the kids to go in the school. The driver could get a small penalty for that, but I wouldn't take it any farther than that.

I do not have IBS, but I feel that if given a choice, people with IBS should look for a job where they can get to a toilet when they need to. 'Nuff said.

_______
Practicing the ancient Chinese art of double flushing... because sometimes, a single flush just isn't enough.

[Insert witty banter here]

Poopgirl's picture
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How could anyone get fired for having to poo?
Poop on!

-Poopgirl

Poop on!

-Poopgirl

DrLove0378's picture
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I can, unfortunately, testify to the fact that employers can and will fire people for *being human*. I had to have an emergency appendectomy a couple years back, and it goes without saying that I had to miss work. For that reason, my boss, a VERY stringent military man, decided he didn't need my services any longer. Kind of like the driver, I was damned if I did... damned if I didn't.

It'd be one thing if she stopped off at her residence (or maybe a restaurant) to take a dump, but she was on *school grounds*. She did the right thing by getting some older students to watch the occupants. Since the bus driver's discharge amounts to disability harassment, she should sue the shit (pun intended) out of the school district. When/if the case goes to trial, the courts will likely make an example out of the school district by awarding the driver a jackpot of at least seven figures. Then she will no longer need to drive those little pukes around...

The Dumpster's picture
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Dr. Love, the only place you will read about recoveries like that is on Snopes.com.

_______
Send all your money to Bilgepump, or to Dave!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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Let's just say, as an IBS sufferer myself, if the moment strikes, there is NO stopping it. The poor bus driver! Honestly, I know kids who could take care of their drunken parents at the age of five, so damn, if they can't stay on the bus for like five minutes by themselves then they're retarted.
Anyway, as far as some people saying: "Stay out of certain jobs if you have IBS" that's not as easy as it sounds! Like there are any kind of jobs where the bathroom is that accessible! Furthermore, its not like we just go out and get the job we want just like that.
I work in a Casino, I have certain break times and sometimes I don't get them. It is hard but you deal. The bus driver should get some slack. Honestly, I do hope she sues the crap outta that school!
Getting sacked for that is the MOST ridiculous thing I have ever heard! And if you don't have IBS its hard to understand what we deal with on a daily basis.

Nine Inch Log's picture
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In responce to keeponcrappin. I have actually had to learn how to hold in a dump, and recently. I had a stroke 18 months ago and literally had to retrain myself how to hold it, push it, sense when to poo, and all the little things necessary to take a poo. That said, I still have relapses where sometimes I will poo without even knowing I had to, but for the most part, you can train yourself to do anything with enough willpower (shit, I'm walking again).


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Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Number One . . . I order you to take a number two.

Anonymous Coward's picture
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First time to site...very interesting. What's even more interesting is the fact that if you don't register, your name is "anonymous coward" and yet, names like nine inch log and fart poopie are the epitome of brave souls sounding out about poop. Hmmm...

Number Two (pun intended): I have been an IBS sufferer for ten years. For those who suffer as well I can say I understand, along with you, the absurdity of the outcome. I do agree with those whose 'funny', yet tasteless remarks from people who wouldn't know how incredibly painful and embarassing this disability is, about being in a position that will allow the best possible access to a restroom. I would never be employed in any position that would require me to be in one place without access.

What is amazing to me is the amount of people on this site that seemingly are fascinated by poop. Maybe they wouldn't be if poop ran you.

And for those who feel that learning to take a poop again (kudos to you for your recovery) and think that IBS sufferers are just wuss asses quite mistake the matter. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would just minimize your tremendous feat by stating Hey, you learned how to walk once, how hard can it be to walk again?

I find poop just as humorous as the next person and I'm not angry because of lack of political correctness. I am dismayed at the lack of compassion. But then again, how does it go?...Oh yes...you reap what you sow.

Oh and my name is Elizabeth (for real) Shartbutt (not for real)

The Dumpster's picture
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Dear Ms. Shartbutt: I am, by reason of not much else to do, the third-ranked member of this site (in terms of quantity, not quality!), and I am also an IBS sufferer. However, I've never been offended or felt discriminated against because of that.

I think the best thing I can suggest is to bear in mind that this is a site devoted to "the intellectual appreciation of poop humor." If you don't find this subject funny, maybe you're in the wrong place. Otherwise, please feel free to register and enjoy a few shits and giggles with the rest of us.

Sincerely,

Dumpster

Carrie-Anne's picture
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I can sympathize with the bus driver---I've been there. Ten years ago while working my way through college I worked as a school bus driver. There were a couple of occasions when I had to have my morning BM and could not wait until we had reached the middle school which was across town and 45 minutes away. On one occcasion, I pulled the 60 pasenger bus up to a Phillips 66 station and went in and did my thing. Wouldn't you know it, but the seat was filthy and with no seat protectors in the holder, I had no choice but to gingerly sit down and hope for the best. I don't think I was seated for more than 30 seconds but then I found there was not toilet paper so I used the two available quarter sheets on the floor. I took an extra long shower that night! On the second occasion, I had to pull up in a city park and use the toilet designated for softball players nearby. One of my passengers also had to go (or so she said) when I stopped the bus and that helped legitimize it. We were almost late to school that morning because she was on the stool for about five minutes, and I don't know if she ever produced! Now I've got my teaching credentials and have my own 4th grade class. Some of my girls don't like to poop at school and try and hold it (nothing has changed!) and the boys are not always lifting the seat before peeing, but I still remember that a BM can call--and at the most inopportune time!

Anonymous Coward's picture
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I can empathize with the Carrie-Anne's and the other bus drivers of the world who haul students. The question is how you can determine if a student's request to use the bathroom is legitimate or whether they are just trying to stall their arrival at school. In more than 20 years of driving a bus or van part-time I know that some elementary children (especially boys) are horrendous in trying to break up the boredom of the ride to school--especially on Mondays. Try stopping the bus for one and you hear "But I've got to pee too!" When I allow them to stop, I can have up to 20 students clamoring to use the toilet. It makes it even more difficult when you don't have another adult of the opposite six onboard to help supervise. Many arguments can be listed for and against bus company policies for such situations, but the bottom line is that parents are not doing their duty by insisting that time in the bathroom be mandatory before the child leaves for school. That is the best and only solutions. Student misuse and "accidents" all go back to parents not doing their job.

Tracie's Mother's picture
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My daughters are in 2nd and 4th grade, respectively. They are bussed from our suburb to an older school in the central area of our city that has a special curriculum that is accelerated and aimed at gifted students. The problem: AC and Carrie-Anne cannot understate the problem of young children being allowed to get up, get dressed, and board a school bus for what I consider to be a long ride, without having used the bathroom at home. It's ridiculous that my oldest has told me of two girls and one boy who, in the first three months of school, have had "accidents" on the bus because the driver refuses to stop. Our district contracts with a national transit service that apparently has a policy of not stopping except in the case of a clear, medical emergency. Even then, the driver is required to radio the dispatch office for permission and advice. There will always be the occasional flu-related "accident" but the amount of children Tracie tells me about who are in pain from "holding it" and then running into the school bathroom upon arrival is on the increase. Parents need to step up and accept responsibility for this. It's their job!

Employed Mother's picture
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Like millions of other mothers I leave at 5:30 a.m. for a full-time job. Unlike Tracie's mother, I get a paycheck but don't get the luxury of waking my girls--9 & 6--up each morning and reminding them to go to the bathroom before they walk down to the corner for the bus. My oldest is responsible for waking up her sister and making sure they both get down to the bus stop by 7:30 a.m.

The problem is that while the actual school is only three miles from our apartment, the ride is almost 40 minutes because the bus has to wind through several subdivisions. On more than one occasion, my oldest has said her sister is sometimes almost bursting to pee when the bus finally makes it too their school. Also my oldest learned a valuable lesson last year. She had to crap at the end of the school day, but she found all the stalls were taken and she didn't want to miss the bus home. About 30 minutes into the ride, the bus had a flat tire and the students were detained for more than 30 minutes while a backup bus and driver were dispatched. She did end up partially crapping her pants when they were about 2 minutes from our stop.

Although it would be costly, buses with toilets on board would come in quite handy for a lot of the students. The proposal should be given serious attention.

sittingpretty's picture
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Where were the school staff that supervise the students as they get off the bus. Ten minutes before the bell rings sounds like a normal time for drop off. I think the bus driver was treated harshly in this matter because there should have been someone on duty at the school to receive the children once the bus arrives at the school.
IBS sufferers are in all walks of life except an astronaut. Its a requirement of the job to be able hold in diarrhea and do your job while having bad cramps.

...And their flesh like dung. Zeph. 1:17