Church hawks toilet paper for charity

Church hawks toilet paper for charity

Posted 01.04.2006 by PooperGal

Call it Mission Inpoopable: a church in Oregon, hard strapped for cash to send to a squadron of religious volunteers to Costa Rica, has turned to selling toilet paper to raise the needed funds.

According to the Rev. Rick Oliver, the church's pastor, the idea sounded like a good one after he learned that the scheme worked for a baseball team in similar need of money. One can almost hear the wheels of inspiration turning as the good pastor reasoned that all people -- the saved and the sinners alike -- must poop, and so must wipe. Who could resist the appeal of giving to a worthy cause while keeping one's butt free from the sins of stink-ass and fecal crust?

Thus the church is selling a toilet paper brand appropriately called Angel Soft, by the roll or by the case. "The rolls are larger than the standard, with 450 sheets per roll, and it's two-ply," Oliver said. God bless him.

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Show some poop support, or make a poop retort.

The Shit Volcano (3740) -- 01.04.2006

Where the hell did they get these huge rolls? I didn't think Angel Soft made em that big?

And if they found giant rolls, have they found colored toilet paper again?

PooperGal (527) -- 01.04.2006

How did they get those divine huge rolls, you ask? Maybe they were on good terms with a Higher Authority who had Connections.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

SamDamnit (1192) -- 01.04.2006

God Bless My Mess

SamDamnit!
Rectum Rector
of
The Church of Poop
http://groups.myspace.com/THECHURCHOFPOOP

KeepOnCrappin (551) -- 01.05.2006

I wonder if they do drop-ship orders.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 01.08.2006

http://www.keysan.com/big/picmgep1795.html

http://www.bobthejanitor.com/gpc16580.html

http://www.shoplet.com/office/db/gBGPC3005.html

Not hard to find Angel Soft's 2-ply, 450 sheet rolls online.

Killian (not verified) -- 01.22.2006

I am sure they would have made more $$$ selling
colored toilet paper!

For purple, green, peach... www.frenchtoiletpaper.com

For bright red and black: www.wellbeingworld.com

The Dumpster (2506) -- 01.22.2006

My girlfriend, the redoubtable Miss Hermione, owns a mail-order catalog company. One of her biggest-selling items is (I kid you not) monogrammed toilet paper. Unfortunately, this is only marginally humorous to her.

Fart Poopie (1257) -- 01.23.2006

Monogrammed toilet paper would make a nice gift for some folks I know. Hell, I'd buy some for myself if the price was right and the quality of the paper was good.

The Dumpster (2506) -- 01.23.2006

www.PleasurePalace.com

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 01.26.2006

Volcano: You too? We always had color-coordinated T.P. when I was growing up, but you can't find it, anymore! We even had to take a case of the peachy color to my grandma every time we visited, since her grocery didn't carry it, and she liked her powder room T.P. to match the decor.

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 01.26.2006

Killian: Thanks! I need duckie yellow for the kids' loo, blue for DH & me, and green for the powder. I'll letcha know how it looks! :)

PooperGal (527) -- 01.26.2006

Colored toilet paper seems to be on its way out because the dyes many contain are non-biodegradable.

PooperGal
"Searching for the Origin of the Feces"

GottaGoGirl (2616) -- 01.30.2006

Hmmn. That makes sense. Although, couldn't there be, like, food dyes used, or something? *SIGH*. I guess I'll just stick to good old white. Besides, the Visa charge for Colored Toilet Paper would be difficult to justify to my non-aesthetically-motivated DH. :)