It's bad enough to be convicted for importation of a controlled substance (cocaine), but Vandale Amos Willis took things a step beyond when he smeared an uncontrolled substance (his own feces) around the courtroom during his trial. After his sentencing by the Honorable Judge Sullivan, Willis, in an act of admirable contrition, asked the judge to
slap him with probation for the act of unbridled fecal expression.
"I'm going to take full responsibility for everything I did in Duluth," Willis told the court. "I want to apologize for everything I did in court. I'm sorry, your honor."
Despite Willis' suggestion, His Honor felt that Willis' apology was sufficient and needed no separate punishment from the original sentence of ten years in the slammer, during which time Willis will be doing his pooping in plain view of the prison guards and his fellow cellblock mates. This shouldn't be an issue for Willis, though, since it's apparent that he is not particularly self-conscious about his poop being on public display.
Really, it's kind of nice that a cocaine-importing drug pusher would be so considerate as to apologize for covering an august and dignified courtroom with crap. But you have to wonder: did he think that by handing out free samples of his fecal nuggets, that he would be able to hook the jury on it enough to build a customer base?
