When I was in seventh grade, there was this fat kid in my science class who had flunked a couple times. One time he got everybody's attention and lifted up his leg, cranking out a huge fart and making the motorcycle throttle wringing motion.

It was hilarious. But he teacher walked back to the kid's seat and cracked him in the neck with the flat side of a yard stick, making a loud, whipping smack. There was never another disruptive fart in that class.

Yeah, beheading usually puts a damper on farting for fun and profit.

If they're going to add wiping to the curriculum, then they should probably put a unit in on gas passing. Would that be Health or Music?
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Yo quiero Taco Bell.

Ha! I bet not that many music stores rent butt trumpets.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

If there ever was a universal equation for men it is (fart)=(funny).

yeah doggin, I second that - (fart)=(funny), (big fart in public)=(really friggin funny)!
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Happy Crappin'
www.homegrownmedia.com

http://www.mrmethane.com

'Nuff said!
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You have the right to remain Silent but Deadly....

Cuttin farts in class was one of my hobbies in high school! No one ever expected such stinkers out of a little girl like me....

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

I think when we were younger if we ripped ass in class we relegated it to the SBD's mostly. Of course being in Catholic school we never really breached the sound barrier because we knew the humilitation the nun would rain down upon us would not be pretty. I think this generation is more open YET also more PC than most so I guess while the kids are more open about what comes out their butts the school is NOT.
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The Thunderous Crapper 63 Enjoying home toilet advantage since 2004!

Boy Thunderous, that brought back painful memories. I had a nun in grade school who (when someone farted) would walk up and down the aisles sniffing out whom she thought was the offender. She would remand that person to the bathroom to take care of what she thought was needed. I don't know how, but I was caught once, and I was actually guilty. I still to this day, don't know how that warthog did it.

It's better that she made you guys go to the bathroom instead of not allow you to, as many teenagers complain on this site is the case at their school.

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.....hugging bunnies since 1969
www.daphneszoo.com

Screw them. I'd fart in detention! The problem with enforcing this rule is that you'll just gather all the farters in one room. I thought we were trying to STOP global warming!!!

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Beware the shitticane. Election, 2008.

I think Shitty has just hit on something! Localize all the class room farters in one room, with several exhaust fans, and pump that methane down to the boiler room to supply energy for the school, and if there is an over abundance, sell the extra to the power companies of that particular town at a reduced price, gaining needed funds for the school's Cat Skinning Team, and reducing expenses for the taxpayers due to lower energy costs!! Damn, Shitty, you're a fucking genius!!!!

The farters could be formed into a school team. They could compete with other schools. Maybe have farting cheerleaders, and uniforms.

What is it about Farting that's soooo funny....I laugh EVERYTIME...I have a Fart Clock for God's sake that goes off every hour and it makes me smile EVERYTIME....I LOVE FARTING..WHAT CAN I SAY....Shame on "Grown-ups"
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Yours Poohly
Skid McMarks

My favorite thing in the whole world to do when I take a special crap - like if I leave a big green fudge dragon or a massive coiler in the bowl at work is do the phantom - just leave the trophy in the bowl without any paper if I can - for all to see.

That's horseshit! I used to get up on top of my desk to rip ass for the whole class to hear when I was in school. In my Army platoon, we even play a game called "Farts and Poops" on the really boring days. You wear a lanyard with beads on it (we use them for land navigation, and to mark scores during the game) on your equipment vest, and we have a scoring system: 1 point per audible fart and 10 for a confirmed shit. Winner gets a free burger and beer at the bar later that night. And no, I'm not making it up at all, we started the game during a boring day in Iraq.

Considering the school paper is called "The Fire Cracker", a more creative principal would have directed the kids to organize things into a contest, raising a little cash through sponsorship, and even promoted nutrition by studying the effects of different foods. A new version of Junior Achievement - Farting for our Future.
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Happy Crappin'
HomegrownMedia Network

The Fart Team would get my donations. I'd be honored to support them in their fundraising efforts. Heck, they could even use the school's pool when the Swim Team isn't using it. They could fart in jars under water and then bring them to the judges who could judge the quality of the contents. Oh, yeah, I see this sport becoming the next athletic sensation after baseketball!

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Rock-n-roll! Poopy-poo!

We use to burn farts in domitory at school. They would burn with a blue or yellow flame. One guy burnt his ass hair who didn't believe farts would burn. I will never forget. He leaned back in bed with legs up and was wearing loose fitting pajamas. He struck a match holding it in place and let one out. There was not immediate combustion and about the time he decided we just pulling something on him there was a small explosion and the pajamas went poof. It actually singed his hairs.

I certainly hope I can afford a lawyer next time I'm in trouble.