Renewable energy is not a new idea. Every elementary school kid knows that methane emanates from the cowpat in the beautiful green field. Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of South America knows that Brazilian motorists have filled their tanks with ethanol for years. We all know there are alternative fuels available for hybrid cars on both sides of the Atlantic. Now meet Dean Gokel, a NASCAR fuel specialist who knows one source most people may have overlooked. According to Frank Bell, his company's president, Gokel has technology that can "take a gallon of piss, shit and water and turn it into a gallon of gasoline."

Said piss, shit, and water comes from pigs; Gokel claims the finished product to be "indistinguishable on a molecular level from petroleum-based additives."

Oh, and it doesn't stop at gas: the nitrogen-based by-products of the process can be used as well. Fertilizer from fertilizer!

Gokel's pig shit petroleum ("pigoline") might have implications not only for the oil companies, whose black gold might undergo a reverse Midas touch, but also on the other biofuel sources. As Eric Roston writes in Philoneist, most biofuel production plans "generally involve the combustion of biomass or waste to free the energy stored inside." But Gokel's technology "works through chemical reactivity, not combustion. Nothing has to burn."

Sounds a bit like science fiction to some, but the idea is rooted in sound science fact: the initial pig mess is processed into "chemicals closer to gasoline, such as C10 or better yet, C8 (basically, octane)." It is then "distilled off as a vapor, which is collected and eventually used as a fuel additive." Blimey! I wish Mr. Gokel had been my high school chemistry teacher.

So far, the exact details of the process remain secret, but one scientist says that he has "no reason to doubt". If Dean Gokel's method proves saleable, then he could become ExxonMobil's bete noir and the environmental movement's cause celebre. He could be the next Bill Gates. Or maybe he'll be even more generous -- he's planning on spending all the money from licensing his technology on "community programs for local children and revitalizing rural America."

So what are we waiting for? Let's market this plan! Just think: dependence on foreign oil could be greatly reduced, American motorists would not have to swell the coffers of the petroleum industry, and pollution from the refinement of crude oil would plummet. Hell, gas prices might not fluctuate like they do today. I'm not saying that all this would end world starvation and stop all wars, but I reckon your average motorist would be as happy as a pig in shit.